Читать книгу Wearing the Rancher's Ring - Stella Bagwell - Страница 9
ОглавлениеDuring the following week, the weather turned colder, but Olivia had always lived in an area where the winters were long and the snowdrifts high. Being outdoors in less than perfect conditions was nothing new to her. Even so, it was a relief when she and Wes finally wrapped up their work in the field and arrived back at the office and out of the cold wind.
She was hanging her coat on a hall tree and dreaming of a hot cup of tea when Beatrice walked up behind her and whispered.
“There’s someone waiting to see you. He’s back in the break room. I thought having him wait there would be better than in your office.”
Perplexed by Beatrice’s covert attitude, she asked, “He? Who is it?”
“Clancy Calhoun.”
Everything inside Olivia suddenly froze and the numbness she was experiencing had nothing to do with the long hours she’d spent out in the cold today.
“Oh. Well, thank you, Beatrice.”
Quickly, she walked out of the room and down a short hallway to the break room that she, Wes and Beatrice shared with the other workers in the building. Since there was no door, she paused at the opening to see Clancy was sitting alone at the end of a long utility table. A brown cowboy hat was resting on his knee and beneath the fluorescent lighting, his hair gleamed with copper lights.
He was facing the opposite end of the room, but as soon as he heard the sound of her footsteps, he turned and quickly rose to his feet.
Wiping her palms against the thighs of her jeans, Olivia made herself step into the room.
“Hello, Clancy. Beatrice told me you were here.” Her voice sounded ridiculously hoarse, but she resisted the urge to clear it. She didn’t want him to guess how her emotions were tumbling around, shaking her to the very core of her being.
With both hands cradling the brim of his hat, he said, “I hope I’m not interrupting your work. She said you’d be returning to the office any minute, so I waited.”
She tried her best to smile as though she was really glad to see him. And deep down a part of her was very glad. But the rest of her was afraid to be near him, terrified that the mere sound of his voice would tear away the protective walls she’d built around her emotions.
“That’s right. We just got in. I’ve not even had time to unthaw yet.” She walked away from him and over to a cabinet counter where a brewing machine was located. “Would you like something to drink? This thing will make coffee, tea or hot chocolate. Take your pick.”
“No, thank you. I can only stay a minute.”
Even though his presence was unsettling, she felt oddly disappointed that his visit was going to be brief.
Dropping a tea bag into a foam cup, she shoved it beneath the brewer. While she watched a stream of steaming water fill the cup, she said, “I’ll be honest, Clancy. I’m very surprised to see you here.”
“I’ll be honest, too. I thought long and hard before I decided to walk into this building,” he admitted.
She momentarily closed her eyes and swallowed before she turned to him. “Exactly why are you here, Clancy?”
While she forced her gaze to meet his, she was shocked to feel her heart contract, then speed into a wild thump. After all this time, she should be able to look at this man and feel no more than she would for any old friend, she thought.
But Clancy wasn’t your friend, Olivia. He was your lover, your fiancé. You curled in his arms and dreamed about spending the rest of your life with him.
His green eyes were making a slow survey of her face, gliding over the curves and angles like a fingertip. When they finally settled on her lips, her breath momentarily caught in her throat.
“I wanted to see you again,” he said frankly. “Do you think we could have supper one evening? Or if not supper, then meet for drinks?”
Of all the things she’d expected him to say, this was not even on her list. In fact, down through the years, she’d always imagined that if she ever did happen to run into Clancy again, he’d most likely greet her with disdain.
She hesitated, her mind whirling with questions and doubts. “Supper? I—don’t know what to say. Why would you want to have supper with me?”
“We were very close once,” he said slowly. “I thought it might be nice for us to catch up a bit.”
He suddenly smiled, the first one she’d seen since spotting him in the Grubstake and the expression was the ray of warmth that melted the last of her resistance. Why not go out with Clancy? she thought. It would prove to herself and to him that the past was in the past and the two of them could be friends.
She smiled back at him. “I think that would be nice, Clancy. Thank you for asking.”
His eyes suddenly sparkled and the sight warmed her. Even in college he’d been a very serious person and she doubted that had changed. But the times he did display a bit of pleasure, it was a moment of pure gold.
“Great,” he said. “So when do you think you might be free? Tomorrow night?”
That soon? Could she possibly get herself mentally braced in that length of time? No, she thought. When it came to this man, two, three, five days wouldn’t make any difference. Besides, this wasn’t a reunion. It was a new beginning as friends. Nothing more, she assured herself.
“That sounds fine.”
He levered his hat back onto his head. “I’ll pick you up about seven, then. Do you live here in town?”
Olivia shook her head. “No. I live east of town. I’ll draw it for you.”
Since her small notebook and pen were still in her shirt pocket, she pulled them out and quickly made a crude map of directions to her house. “It’s a green stucco with dark brown shutters. A couple of dogs will be hanging around in the yard, but they won’t bite.”
“I’ll be there.” He reached for her hand and pressed it tightly between his. “Goodbye, Olivia.”
She smiled and nodded, and yet somewhere inside her she felt tears forming. For one split second she felt the reckless urge to fling herself against him, to beg him to forgive her for being such a fool all those years ago. But thankfully she caught herself before that could happen and managed to reply in a normal voice, “Goodbye, Clancy. See you tomorrow night.”
Dropping her hand, he quickly left the room, and while she waited for the sound of his boot steps to fade away, she drew in several long breaths.
Had she just stepped into a wildfire or was she finally taking a step toward dousing the torch she’d carried all these years for Clancy? Hopefully after tomorrow night, she’d have her answer.
The next evening Clancy was in his office wrapping up the last phone call he planned to take for the day, when his father, Orin, walked through the door. The sixty-two-year-old man was tall and brawny with a pair of shoulders like a linebacker and a thick mane of iron-gray hair. For years after Clancy’s mother had died, his father had more or less been living in the shadows, choosing to remain in the house, dealing with paperwork and leaving the ranch only when a necessary business trip forced him to. But something about Rafe taking the plunge and marrying Lilly had done something to Orin. Over the past several months he’d steadily returned to the vibrant rancher he used to be. Now he was back to riding his horse and doing hands-on work with the ranch crew. Not only that, he was starting to date a young woman, who just happened to be a deputy district attorney for Carson County.
Returning the phone to its cradle, Clancy leaned back casually in his chair while Orin rested a hip on the edge of the desk and pushed up his cuff to take note of the time.
“It’s about your quitting time, isn’t it?” Orin asked.
Clancy nodded. “Sure is. That was my last call. I’m about to head to the house.” He didn’t add that as soon as he showered and changed he was driving into Carson City to see Olivia. Except for Rafe, the rest of his family was unaware that she was now living in the area. And Clancy was going to leave it that way, at least for now.
“Well, I just stopped by to see if Jett had finished writing up that contract for the bull sales. Kim said he’d already left for the day, but had finalized the contract. So that’s good. I want to use that money for more mama cows.”
Clancy gestured to the telephone. “According to the guy I was just talking to you could get thousands of dollars by just signing your name.”
Orin’s frown was skeptical. “Oh. Who was it? Some cattle broker?”
“No. It was that lease hound—the one working for the mining company. This is the second call I’ve gotten from him in the last month.”
Orin’s head wagged back and forth in disbelief. “Even when silver prices were up a few months ago, they were still at the bottom. The effort would do nothing more than tear up our land. Didn’t you make it clear that we weren’t interested?”
“Very clear. But then he started talking gold. I told him there’s never been an indication of gold on the ranch. And that we’re not interested in looking,” Clancy told him.
“Damn right. Here on the Horn our gold is the four-legged sort. That’s the only kind I want to deal with.” Orin slipped off the edge of the desk. “Okay. I’m off to town. Noreen is giving a dinner party in honor of a coworker that’s moving away. For some reason she wanted me to be there.”
Clancy gave his father a pointed smile. “The reason might be that she likes you.”
Orin grinned sheepishly and Clancy couldn’t help but notice that his father looked years younger than this time last year.
“Maybe. A little.” His grin suddenly faded to a look of faint uncertainty. “I’m sure most everyone is calling me a fool for being interested in a woman that’s so much younger than me.”
Noreen was forty-five and looked even younger. Yet Clancy could hardly fault the woman for that. Nor did he want his father to worry over it. “Look, Dad, that’s no one else’s business but your own. If it doesn’t bother you or her, then it’s sure okay with me.”
Orin shrugged. “You’re still young. But a guy like me—I guess I get to wondering what I have to offer her over a man closer to her age. I’ll never look like a—what does the younger generation call a stud now?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Clancy answered drily. “You need to ask Rafe or Finn that question.”
Orin chuckled. “Well, whatever it is, I’ll never look that way again.”
Rising to his feet, Clancy switched off the computer on his desk and picked up a stack of papers. “Don’t sell yourself short, Dad.”
The two men left the office and Clancy paused long enough to drop the work on his secretary’s desk. “I don’t need this until tomorrow afternoon,” he told the young woman with short, chestnut-colored hair. “Go ahead and close up the office.”
The secretary glanced at a big, cedar-framed clock hanging on the wall behind her head. “There’s still an hour to go until quitting time, Clancy.”
He gave her a wink. “Then you’re getting an hour off.”
“And don’t question your boss,” Orin teased her. “Take what you can get out of him.”
Expressing her thanks, the secretary began to shut down the workplace and the two men departed the office building. Outside in the chilly twilight, Orin quickly bade his son good-night and climbed into one of the ranch’s many work trucks.
Obviously, his father wasn’t trying to impress Noreen by showing up in a fancy vehicle, Clancy thought. As for Olivia, he’d learned the hard way that money, or what it could buy, didn’t impress her. If she’d married him, he would have gladly given her anything and everything she’d desired. But she hadn’t wanted wealth. And clearly, she hadn’t needed him. So what did that make him for wanting to take her to dinner tonight? A glutton for punishment? Or a man trying to rid himself of a haunting past?
* * *
An hour later, some thirty miles away in Olivia’s modest stucco, she was digging through her jewelry for a certain pair of earrings when she came across a little white cardboard box pushed into one corner of the drawer.
Leave it there, Olivia. Looking at the thing only hurts you.
Her hand refused to obey the words of warning racing through her head and before she realized it, she was pulling a royal-blue velvet case from the cardboard box and flipping open the lid.
She didn’t know why, tonight of all nights, she felt the urge to look at the ring. Down through the years she’d probably stared a thousand times at the large teardrop diamond. And each time she ended up choking back tears. Tonight was no different and she fiercely blinked her eyes as she slowly traced a finger over the glittering stone.
When she’d ended their engagement, Clancy had insisted that the ring belonged to her and she could do what she wanted with the expensive diamond. She supposed most women would’ve wasted no time in selling the gem or, at the very least, had it and the white-gold setting fashioned into a different piece of jewelry.
During her short marriage to Mark, he’d accidentally discovered the ring in a dresser drawer and demanded that she get rid of it. But Olivia had stubbornly hung on to the ring anyway. And now, whenever she felt particularly lost or lonely, she’d look at the solitaire diamond and remember and wonder what might have been.
Taking a deep, bracing breath, she closed the lid and stuffed the case back in the box and the box back into the drawer. She didn’t have time to dwell on memories or regrets. Clancy would be here soon and she needed to be looking and feeling her best. She wanted him to see that losing him hadn’t ruined her.
* * *
Clancy arrived five minutes before seven and with her nerves on high alert, Olivia opened the door and invited him inside. As soon as his tall frame stepped into the tiny foyer, he swept off his brown cowboy hat and her gaze was instantly drawn to the thick tawny waves covering his head. His hair was one of the most striking things about him and seemed to match his fierce pride and quiet independence. But it was the gentle smile in his eyes that instantly lifted her spirits and brought a smile to her face.
“Hello, Olivia.”
“Good evening, Clancy. Except for fetching my coat and bag, I’m ready. Or would you like to have a drink before we go? I’d be happy to fix you something.”
“Thanks, but I can wait until we get to the restaurant,” he told her.
When he’d walked in, she’d not noticed the small bouquet he’d been holding close down to the side of his leg. Now as he offered them to her, she hardly knew what to think or say. Ever since she’d agreed to see him tonight, she’d been telling herself that the meeting had nothing to do with romance. The whole thing was only a friendly dinner between old acquaintances. Nothing more. So what did the flowers mean?
“I hope you still like daisies,” he said.
“Yes, I do. Thank you.” She accepted the bunch of white flowers, then motioned for him to follow her. “Why don’t you come on into the living room while I put these in a vase and get my things?”
He followed her out of the foyer and into a cozy living area furnished with a couch and two stuffed armchairs. Pausing near the group of furniture, she turned to face him and it was all she could do not to stare. Dressed in a dark green shirt, dark jeans and a brown leather jacket, he was the epitome of a rugged rancher and far more captivating than the college guy she’d fallen in love with.
“Have a seat if you like,” she said in the most casual voice she could muster. “I’ll only be a minute.”
“I’m fine standing,” he assured her. “Take your time.”
Olivia left the room to deal with the flowers and returned moments later wearing a camel-colored coat and clutching a red handbag that matched her high heels. Clancy was still standing where she’d left him, his hat in his hand.
“All set,” she said.
He levered the hat down over his forehead. “Do you need to tend to anything before we leave? The dogs?”
“They’ve already been fed and I let them run loose. I have a cat, too. But she’s hiding under the bed. Except for me, Cleo hates people. As soon as she hears another human voice, she’s gone.”
“Nice cat,” he said.
She walked past him on the way to the foyer and he followed in her footsteps.
“At least I don’t have to worry about anyone taking her away from me.”
“No. That shouldn’t be a worry.”
After she locked the door behind him, they stepped off the porch and crossed the short distance to his waiting truck. A brisk north wind stung Olivia’s cheeks and prompted her to flip up the collar on her coat.
When they reached his vehicle, she noticed the diesel engine was idling and ready to go. He quickly helped her into the warm cab and as soon as he buckled himself beneath the steering wheel, he turned the big, dual-wheeled truck toward town.
As they barreled down the graveled county road, he said, “I think we’re in for some nasty weather.”
“That’s what the long-range forecast is predicting,” Olivia replied. “We have a lot of fieldwork to do this month. It would help if the snow held off for a while, but I understand this area is in extreme drought. You definitely need the snow.”
“The ranchers around here are praying for a wet winter.”
“Then I’ll pray for the snow to come, too. Everything suffers during a drought.”
“You live farther out of town than I expected,” he commented. “Do you like it out here?”
When she’d first met Clancy in college, he’d already grown into a tall young man, but the rest of him had been very lean and wiry. The passing years had filled out his shoulders, arms and legs. Now he looked strong enough to take on a raging bull by the horns, Olivia thought, as she watched him deftly maneuver the truck around a washed-out piece of road.
“I do. I never know when my job might force me to transfer to another place, but I’m hoping I’ll get to sink roots here. That’s why I took a chance and bought property instead of renting. The house is nothing fancy, but I got forty acres with the place, so that makes up for the price I had to pay. Anyway, I like it out here on the edge of the desert. I can see for miles. I do wish I had more than one shade tree, though. I suppose whoever built the place wasn’t into landscaping.”
He glanced at her. “What are you going to do with the forty acres? Run a few cattle?”
She shook her head. “It’s too barren to sustain more than five head. That wouldn’t be worth the effort. But I have thought of getting a couple of horses. I could use them at work. Sometimes we have to ride over a lot of country that can’t be traveled by truck or four-wheeler.”
He grinned. “Well, I can tell you where some pretty good horses are for sale. You might even get a good deal on a pair of them.”
A wan smile touched her lips. “I seriously doubt I could afford anything from the Silver Horn. I don’t need high-powered breeding, anyway. Just gentle, sturdy animals that can carry me over the rocks around here.”
“I said you’d get a discount,” he pointed out.
She sighed. Years ago, Clancy hadn’t really understood the differences between them. How could she make him see that he still didn’t understand? Even with a discount, a Silver Horn horse would be thousands of dollars she didn’t have.
Deciding it was best to ignore that issue, she simply said, “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” Turning her head toward the passenger window and away from his rugged profile, she stared out at the shadowy landscape and wondered if he was feeling the same tension between them that she was feeling. “When I left Idaho, I was still living in the house my mother left to me. Moving away from it has been—a little traumatic.”
“That was near Twin Falls, right?”
She glanced his way. “You remembered.”
“I remember most everything about you, Olivia.”
His comment was so unsettling that she didn’t make any sort of reply. After all, it was the same with her. She remembered everything about him, too. She just wasn’t brave enough to admit it to him.
* * *
Clancy took her to Bonito’s, a rustic Mexican restaurant located on the edge of the city. From their table by the window, the twinkling lights of the city stretched for miles toward the west and the mountains that rimmed Lake Tahoe. Meanwhile, just outside the wall of glass, a Joshua tree and a spiny barrel cactus framed the view.
“Do you eat here often?” Olivia asked as the two of them munched on the chips and salsa the waiter had left behind.
The eating area was rather small and nearly all the tables were occupied. Piped mariachi music was playing quietly in the background, although Clancy had informed her that a live mariachi band played on the weekends. The plastered walls were cracked in some places and the board planked floor had been there for so long that some of the nail heads had been worn away. It was just the type of place that Olivia liked and Clancy knew it.
“No. I don’t eat out much,” he said. “Greta, our house cook, always has nice meals fixed for the family. And I don’t leave the ranch unless I have a reason to.”
“Hmm. I guess I must have been one of those reasons tonight.”
He cocked a brow at her. “You could put it that way.”
Dropping her gaze from his face, she took a sip from her water glass. “You never were much of a social person. That hasn’t changed?”
“I’m not a hermit. I get out occasionally. But the ranch takes up most of my time.”
While they’d been engaged, Olivia had never carefully measured her words before she’d spoken them to Clancy. She’d felt free to say anything, about any subject. Now their past together was getting in the way, blocking the things that would have otherwise come naturally to her lips.
She said, “I’m sure it does. From what I hear, your family’s ranch has grown even bigger than what it was when you and I—when we were in college.”
The faint grimace on his face told her that he hadn’t missed the abrupt change of her words and suddenly Olivia realized how cowardly she was being. There was no point in trying to evade or dance around the issue of their past. It had happened. It couldn’t be changed. So there was no purpose in making herself miserable by trying to pretend otherwise.
He said, “Yes. It’s grown. My grandfather is still purchasing land whenever it becomes available. And like I told you the other day, we lease, too. Our lease land has also increased. So that means with more land, Dad wants more cattle. It’s a circle that goes around with my grandfather and father. And I have to try to keep up with the business ends of their deals.”
She smiled faintly. “That’s what you got your degree for. Now you’re putting it to use. I’m sure it must feel really nice to be able to put your knowledge and effort into something that actually belongs to you.”
Resting his forearms on the edge of the table, he leaned slightly toward her. “So tell me, Olivia, when did you go back to college? After your mother passed?”
Nodding, she said, “She died in the fall, after the semester had started. That was two years after I left UNLV. I waited until winter break to start my studies again. But I didn’t go back to Las Vegas. I had all my hours transferred to Boise State.”
A small frown furrowed his brow. “Oh. But you’d worked and saved just so you could go to UNLV,” he said. “It was your dream to get your degree there.”
When he’d said he’d not forgotten anything, he’d been right. Olivia wasn’t sure if that made her feel better or worse. She sighed. “Yes. But—well, some dreams just can’t come true. And I’ll be honest, Clancy. It wouldn’t have been the same without you there. So I—didn’t go back.”
Even though she wasn’t looking at him directly, she could feel his gaze slipping over her, weighing each word and expression. What did he expect to find? she wondered. What did he want to hear from her? That she’d made a horrible mistake by ending their engagement? That she’d been a fool for not trying to hang on to something as precious as what they’d shared?
“Some things just never turn out like we think they will.”
His remark shot an arrow directly into the middle of her chest. “No. Some things never do,” she murmured.
A long, awkward silence followed until Clancy finally spoke again. “Is that where you met your ex? At Boise?”
She shook her head. “No. I met Mark shortly after Mom died. I was still living in Twin Falls then and working as a bank teller. He was a carpenter and was a regular customer at that particular branch.”
“So what happened? Why did you get divorced?”
Because deep down I was still in love with you.
The thought sprang out of nowhere and she frantically shoved it away before she answered, “Because he turned out to be far different than what he first appeared to be. Before we married I made it clear to him that my plans were to go back to college and acquire my degree. He was perfectly agreeable with that until I actually became his wife. Then everything was different. He quickly decided that he didn’t want me going to college or having a job with the BLM. He also changed his mind about us having children. He believed our lives would be better without the complications that came with kids. In other words, all the things that were important to me, Mark wanted me to give up. I couldn’t do that, Clancy. I’m sure that makes me sound stubborn and selfish to you. But I had already made a huge sacrifice when I left you to take care of Mom. I wasn’t willing to make another one.”
“Is that what you call it? ‘A sacrifice’?”
Her throat was so thick, all she could manage to do was nod.
His gaze locked on hers. “Oh, Olivia,” he murmured ruefully. “Why did you marry him when you knew that I was waiting?”
The dark anguish in his eyes was more than she could bear. Jumping to her feet, she blindly hurried through the busy tables until she reached the ladies’ room.
Once inside, she dropped her head in her hands and allowed the scalding tears to flow.
