Читать книгу One Tall, Dusty Cowboy - Stella Bagwell - Страница 10
ОглавлениеSomewhere in the middle of the kiss or after it had ended, Rafe wasn’t sure which, the realization that he was in trouble struck him hard. This wasn’t the way any of it was supposed to go, he thought.
He was supposed to be feeling triumphant and smug and she was supposed to be swooning in his arms. Instead, she was staring at him as though she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to slap him or run a dagger through him.
“If that was a sample of your charms, then I’d advise you to save them for some unsuspecting woman. And that isn’t me.”
She stepped around him and Rafe had little choice but to follow her. Once they were inside, he quickly settled the bill and in a matter of a few short minutes the two of them were in his truck, traveling back to Carson City.
During the whole process, Lilly said very little and for once, Rafe couldn’t come up with anything useful to say. How could he? He’d never dated a woman like Lilly. His usual glibness wouldn’t have the same effect on her.
Maybe you should try open honesty, Rafe. That would be a refreshing change.
The voice in his head had him scowling as he stared at the dark highway in front of him. Being honest with a woman would get him into far more trouble than an unwanted kiss.
“I don’t know why you’re frowning, Rafe. Up until that kiss, I had a lovely evening.”
That jerked his head around and for a split second, he forgot about keeping his eyes on the highway. “Just exactly what was wrong with that kiss?”
“As far as kisses go, it was very pleasant. But I didn’t ask for it. That’s what was wrong.”
Rafe wasn’t accustomed to asking for anything. Whatever he wanted, he took. Clearly, that wasn’t going to work with Lilly.
“I’m sorry,” he said in a mollified tone. “Can you forgive me?”
“Of course I can. I already have.”
It was downright silly at how much her words perked his spirits.
“You can—you have?”
“Why wouldn’t I? I don’t hold grudges. Besides, since I have no intention of kissing you again, none of this really matters. So I apologize for getting a little testy with you.”
“Oh, Lilly, that’s—” Totally confused by her attitude, he glanced over to see she was staring out the passenger window instead of at him. That wasn’t a good sign. “Why aren’t you going to kiss me again?”
She sighed. “Look, Rafe, I agreed to this date because I knew you wouldn’t give up on a challenge. I figured once we’d gone out you’d see we wouldn’t suit and you’d be on to the next girl. I thought that would make everything easier, because you’re just not my kind of guy.”
He couldn’t remember any woman ever telling him that. But instead of making him feel angry or humiliated, he was more perplexed than anything.
“What is your kind of guy, Lilly? One who spends his evenings at home quietly reading the newspaper and saying yes, dear or no, dear?”
Long moments passed before she finally answered, “Could be that’s exactly what I’m looking for.”
He muttered a curse under his breath. “Sure. This from a woman who chose to give up therapy to work in the E.R. Yeah, you want a dull man, all right.”
“Don’t try to figure out what I want, Rafe. You might hurt yourself.”
She was right about that. He needed to give her a quick goodbye and never even glance in the rearview mirror. She was the kind of woman who could cause a man a deep-down hurt and he hardly needed more pain in his life.
Rafe was still telling himself that when ten minutes later, he parked the truck in front of Lilly’s house and helped her to the ground. But the touch of her hand upon his arm as he walked her to the door made it very difficult to concentrate on the mental warning.
When they reached the porch, she said, “I did offer you a drink before we left this evening. The offer still holds if you’d like a coffee. Just as a thank-you for the nice meal. Nothing else.”
Normally, he would have jumped at the chance to spend more time with this woman. Especially since she was being nice enough to invite him into her home. But to be honest with himself, he was feeling a little more than rattled. Some of the things she’d said had left him bruised and raw.
“Thanks, but I’ll take a rain check. You have to be up early and I’ve got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.”
She smiled at him and for one split second, Rafe wondered if he’d lost his mind.
She raised up on tiptoes and placed a kiss against his cheek. “Thank you for the dinner and the dancing. It was very nice.”
“My pleasure, Lilly.” He pressed her hand between his. “Good night.”
“Good night, Rafe.”
He turned and quickly walked to his truck, but as he drove away he couldn’t stop himself from looking back. And as he watched her step into the house and close the door behind her, he felt an inexplicable loss. One that he’d never expected to be feeling after a date with a beautiful woman.
* * *
The next morning when Lilly arrived at the Silver Horn to treat Bart, she didn’t see Rafe anywhere around the ranch yard. And more than an hour later, when she drove away, there was no Wild West show of him and Roscoe running her down and stopping her on the road.
She told herself she was glad that she’d not had to encounter the man, especially after that kiss last night. But if she was being honest with herself, she felt a little deflated that, at the very least, he’d not been around to say hello.
And why should he want to waste his time just to say hello to you, Lilly? You were rough on him last night. Unreasonably so. The man isn’t Grant Winters. You shouldn’t be treating him like the man who broke your heart.
The voice in her head haunted her all the way back to Carson City and by the time she’d put in four hours of work in the emergency room she was still thinking about Rafe and the night before.
When things finally slowed enough for her to take her first break, she went to the snack room and pulled out her cell phone. She didn’t have Rafe’s personal number, but she had Bart’s. The elder Calhoun would no doubt pass his grandson’s number on to her. Even though Rafe had irked her with his trite advances, she should’ve reacted with more ladylike, respectable manners.
Bart answered after the second ring and after she quickly identified herself, he said, “Lilly, you don’t have to check up on me. I’m exercising my hand right this minute.”
“I’m not checking up, Bart. I trust you completely. I’m calling to ask a favor. Could you possibly give me Rafe’s cell-phone number?”
Even though the man couldn’t see her, she could feel a blush wash over her face. Silly, silly Lilly, she scolded herself.
“Sure can. Just give me a minute to find the little book where I keep all my names and numbers.”
Several moments passed while she could hear papers being shuffled and a drawer being opened and closed. Finally, he came back to the phone. “Here it is, Lilly. But before I give it to you, can I ask why you want my grandson’s number? You’re not planning to discuss me behind my back, are you?”
Lilly laughed at that idea. “No, Bart. I promise that whatever I need to say to you, I’ll say it right to your face.”
“Oh. Well, I wasn’t aware that you were acquainted with Rafe.”
“We’ve—uh—spent a little time together.”
He grunted with disapproval. “Aw, Lilly. That boy isn’t for you. He’s naughty. He’s got too much of me in him. Understand?”
The fact that Bart cared enough about her to give her the simple warning was enough to make her smile. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious. I just need to give him a message, that’s all.”
“Okay. I won’t preach at you anymore.”
He gave her the number and after scratching it down on a small square of paper, Lilly thanked him, then quickly ended the call.
“Hey, got anything in here to eat?”
Lilly stuffed the piece of paper with the number into the pocket on her white uniform just as Marcella, a fellow E.R. nurse, walked into the small snack room.
“I’ve not even had time to get coffee, much less something to eat,” Lilly told her. “I put a sandwich in the fridge if you want half of it.”
The tall, auburn-haired woman shook her head as she walked over to the coffee machine and filled a foam cup. “I was just kidding. I splurged this morning and stopped at the bakery. I’ll have to starve myself for the rest of the day just to make up for the apple fritter I devoured.”
Marcella was in her early thirties, divorced and the mother of a five-year-old son. She was an excellent nurse and one of the few good friends that Lilly could always count on.
“Don’t be starving yourself,” Lilly scolded her. “There’s enough sick people around here without us having to scrape you off the floor. Besides, you always look great.”
“Yeah. Yeah,” Marcella teased. “You must want me to work a shift for you.”
“No. Just being honest.” She rose from the table to pour herself a cup of coffee. “But it would be nice to have a whole week off. I can’t remember the last time I got six hours of sleep.”
Frowning thoughtfully, Marcella said, “I thought you were off last night.”
Lilly stared into her coffee cup. “I was. But I went on a date.”
Marcella gasped. “A date! My Lord, knock a board off the house!”
Blowing out an exasperated breath, Lilly looked up to see Marcella’s mouth gaping open. “Just hush. You’re making me sound like a freak or something.”
Marcella jerked one of the metal chairs from beneath the table and sank onto the edge. “Tell me. Who? Why? Where?”
Lilly sipped her coffee more as a stalling tactic than a desire for more of the half-burned brew. “Rafe Calhoun took me to the Sierra Chateau for dinner. That’s all.”
If Marcella had looked surprised a moment ago, she looked completely stunned now. “That’s all! How did this happen?”
With a negligible shrug, Lilly said, “We met on the ranch while I was there for Bart’s therapy session. He asked me for a date and I accepted. It was a spur-of-the-moment sort of thing. Nothing is going to come of it. I can assure you of that.”
“Really? What makes you so certain nothing will come of it?”
Grimacing, she tossed the remainder of her coffee in a trash bin. “Because I’ve already made it clear to him that one date was all I would agree to. Anyway, he’s not into serious, Marcella. Besides, he’s a Calhoun. Even if he was looking for a wife, he wouldn’t search among simple, hardworking women like me.”
“Hmm. Well, from what I’ve heard, he’s the playboy of the Calhoun boys. I saw him here at the hospital the night they brought the old man in with a stroke. He’s a long, lean hunk of man. So are his brothers.”
A sigh unwittingly escaped Lilly. She had to agree that Rafe was one attractive, sexy male. But there was much more to him than his looks and his wealth. Last night she was just beginning to see a different side of him and then he’d had to go and ruin it all with that kiss.
And just why had that kiss ruined it, Lilly? Because you enjoyed it? Because for the first time in years you felt something flicker inside you and you were terrified?
“I honestly don’t know anything about those rumors concerning Rafe and women,” Lilly said. “But after spending an evening with him I have a feeling most of the rumors are probably true. And you know how I feel about guys like that.”
Marcella shot her a tired look. “You mean guys like Grant, don’t you?”
Pushing away from the cabinet she’d been leaning against, Lilly said, “I don’t want to discuss that bastard now or ever.”
Shaking her head, Marcella said, “Okay. But don’t punish the rest of the male population because of one rat-fink doctor. Rafe Calhoun might be the perfect man for you—if you’d give him a chance.”
Lilly’s short laugh was caustic. “Sure. About like you and I are going to spend the next two hours sitting around twiddling our thumbs. It ain’t gonna happen.”
She’d hardly gotten the words out of her mouth when the intercom over their heads sounded off, ending the women’s short break.
“All nurses in examining room two. All nurses needed in emergency room two.”
Exchanging pointed glances, the two women hurried away to answer the call.
* * *
Two days later, just before dark, Rafe had showered and changed into clean clothes, when he checked the cell phone he’d left charging on the dresser top.
After spending the past couple of days working out on the range, the phone’s battery had died a quick death and without electricity or even a truck to charge it, he’d been out of touch with civilization. Which was okay with him. Three-fourths of the calls he received were trivial, or from someone he didn’t want to speak to in the first place.
As he scrolled through the call log, he expected to find mostly garbage, so it was a complete shock to see Lilly’s name by one of the numbers. She’d only given him the cell number in case he needed to call and postpone or cancel their date. And he didn’t have a clue as to how she’d gotten his number.
Lilly? He hurriedly scanned the call for a date. She’d called him two evenings ago! And he’d not even known it!
Crossing over to the bed, he sank onto the edge of the mattress and stared thoughtfully at the phone. His first instinct was to call her number now, this very instant. But did he really want to do that?
Ever since he’d driven away from her house a few nights ago, he’d been trying to convince himself that she wasn’t the type of woman he needed to go after. If she cooked breakfast for a man, she’d want to be wearing a wedding band while she flipped his pancakes. And he didn’t want a wife. A wife would bind him in ties that would choke him. A wife meant loving and protecting. And all the while worrying that he might lose her in some awful, unpredictable way.
Rafe had only been five years old when his little sister Darci died from an untreatable heart disease. Born three years after him, she’d been a fragile little thing with a mop of russet-colored curls and big green eyes. Even to this day, Rafe could remember her giggles and how she would hold tightly on to his hand, and cry if she didn’t get chocolate milk for breakfast.
He’d adored Darci and losing her had both confused and scared him. For months after her death, Rafe had been terrified that his brothers might leave him in the same way and he’d wanted to cling to his mother for a sense of security. He’d been too young to understand that she’d also been dealing with her own sorrow.
Thankfully, the passing years had dimmed his grief and as he’d grown into a man, he’d lost the incessant fear of losing another family member. Tragedy had struck the Calhoun family once; he couldn’t imagine it striking a second time. Then an accident had taken his mother and suddenly the direction of everything he’d ever wanted in life took a drastic change.
Rafe had watched the light of happiness disappear from his father’s eyes and the only home Rafe had ever known had taken on a chill that, to this day, was still present.
From that point on, Rafe had decided he’d never have a family of his own and that decision hadn’t changed. No. Rafe didn’t want that for himself. There were plenty of men out there who’d make a fine husband for Lilly, who’d be willing to take on the risks and responsibilities of having a family. But damn it, the thought of her with another man made make him sick.
Shutting his mind from those thoughts, Rafe took a closer glance at the phone and spotted a voice mail notification. Could it be from Lilly? He punched the symbol, then lifted the phone to his ear.
“Hi, Rafe. It’s Lilly. I hope you don’t mind that I got your number from Bart. I was just calling to say—well, I want to apologize for my behavior the other night. That wasn’t really me. And I was rough on you for all the wrong reasons. I did have a nice time. And the kiss was—nice, too.”
The message ended without a “goodbye” or “call me,” but it was enough to make Rafe jump straight to his feet and start jamming the tails of his shirt into his jeans.
Cold one minute and hot the next. Rafe didn’t know which one was the real Lilly Lockett. But he was damned sure going to find out.
* * *
Shortly after eight o’clock that night, Lilly and Marcella ended their shift and were leaving the building together. On the way to the parking lot, Marcella was still voicing her concerns over a small boy they had treated for an asthma attack.
“Lilly, I’m telling you I think social services needs to visit that boy’s home. Something just doesn’t feel right about the whole situation. He looks half-starved. And this is the second time he’s been treated in the past two weeks. I don’t think his parents are even bothering to feed him, much less see that he takes his medication.”
“Someone bothered enough to bring him to the hospital,” Lilly pointed out.
“A grandfather—I think. And he looked too feeble to care for himself. I’m surprised he managed to drive the child here to emergency. Oh, God, Lilly, he’s my Harry’s age. And I just want to take him in my arms and carry him home with me.”
Lilly patted her friend’s shoulder. “Marcella, don’t worry. We’ll go to Doctor Malloy and explain our fears about the child to him. He’ll contact the right people.”
Her friend nodded somberly. “You’re right. If we don’t go through the proper channels, getting the boy some real help might backfire. I’m going home and try not to think about it tonight.”
Lilly gave her a weary smile. “Good. Give Harry a kiss and be thankful you have him.”
“I will. Good night,” Marcella told her, then broke away to go to her car that was parked at the other end of the parking area.
After waving her friend off, Lilly fished the car keys from the tote bag she was carrying and pushed the button to unlock the doors. She was about to climb beneath the steering wheel when a male voice sounded directly behind her, causing her to jump with fright.
With a hand clutched to her chest, she whirled around to see Rafe standing a few steps away. He was dressed all in denim and a black hat shaded his face from what little light there was from the streetlamps, but she could see enough of his features to tell there was a faint grin on his face.
“Rafe! What are you doing here?”
He moved closer. “Waiting on you to get off work. I asked at the nurses’ desk to speak with you, but a nurse there told me you were busy changing shifts and that you’d be out shortly.”
She let out a long, pent-up breath. “I—well, you certainly surprised me. Is anything wrong with Bart? He seemed fine this morning.”
Shaking his head, he took another step toward her. “Gramps is fine. I just found your voice mail earlier this evening. My men and I have been working out on the far west range for the past two days. My phone lost its charge.”
“Oh. I had decided you didn’t want to talk to me.”
He continued to study her closely. “The other night before I left your house, you implied that I was wasting my time with you. Am I?”
Reaching up, she pulled a pin from her coiled hair and shook it free. “I honestly don’t know, Rafe. The other night—I was—well, I rarely date. You see, I made a mistake in trusting a man once and since then I’m afraid I see most of you as predators. That’s wrong of me, I know. But I can’t get past it.”
He was close enough now for her to see his features soften and a look of understanding flicker in his eyes.
“Lilly.”
As he spoke her name his hands reached out to cradle her face, and his touch was like a ray of sunlight bathing every cell in her body with delicious heat.
“I’m not going to pretend that I’m the perfect guy for you. Or that I’m even a good guy. I only know that when I’m with you everything feels different. I feel different. Something about being with you brings out the better side of me. I don’t want that to end, Lilly.”
The quiver she felt rushing through her body had nothing to do with being exhausted and everything to do with this man that was touching her as tenderly as a drop of dew on a rose petal.
“These past few days I’ve been trying not to think about you, Rafe. But to be honest, I’ve missed you.”
He didn’t make any sort of reply. Instead, he threaded his fingers into her hair, then bent his head toward hers. The second his lips angled over hers, the cautious side of her was screaming for her to step back and run from this man. But the lonely yearning inside her was much stronger and before she knew it, she was slipping her arms around his waist and opening her mouth to his eager kiss.
After that, she was totally and completely lost. His sensual scent swirled through her head and mingled with the taste of his mouth. Against her back, she could feel his hands drawing her closer and closer. Sweet, hot desire burst inside her and the onslaught had her desperately clutching his arms for support.
The kiss went on and on and probably would have continued if it hadn’t been for the sound of approaching voices. When their mouths finally tore apart, Lilly quickly stepped back to put a respectable distance between them. As she sucked long breaths of air into her starved lungs, she realized her lips were burning and so was the rest of her body.
Taking her by the hand, Rafe said in a low, husky voice, “Let’s go somewhere for coffee or something. Anywhere. Okay?”
As soon as she’d stepped into his arms, she’d crossed the line of no return. He understood that and so did she. The realization of what that meant sent a shiver of anticipation rippling through her. What did this man really want from her? And exactly what was she willing to give him? She didn’t know the answer to either of those questions. But she was certain of one thing: she wasn’t going to run and hide anymore.
“I’ve not eaten yet,” she told him. “Are you hungry?”
“Starved. Let’s go get that burger you wanted the other night,” he suggested.
“Green Lizard Bar and Grill is just two blocks down from here and it’s good. If that’s okay with you, I’ll follow you in my car,” she told him.
“I know where it is.” He planted a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll wait for you out front.”
Moments later, as Lilly drove her car a short distance behind Rafe’s truck, she realized her hands were trembling on the steering wheel and she had the strangest sensation of wanting to laugh and cry at the same time.
For years she’d believed she’d lost her ability to feel any sort of desire. She’d thought her chance to experience passion again had walked out the door with Grant. She’d believed her hopes and dreams had died when the baby she’d been carrying was lost to a miscarriage.
But now Rafe had created an explosion inside her. A wonderful explosion that she never wanted to end. The only thing she needed to worry about at this point was keeping her heart separated from the passion. Even if she did throw caution to the wind and go to bed with him, she would never let herself make the mistake of falling in love with him.
