Читать книгу Daniel's Daddy - Stella Bagwell - Страница 8

By nightfall the rain had stopped. Jess took Daniel to a nearby café where home-cooked meals were served smorgasbord-style. Jess was glad to see Daniel hungry and eating his fried chicken and accompanying vegetables. He’d been afraid the trip up here and the ordeal of the funeral might have upset Daniel, but thankfully his son seemed to be taking it all in stride.

They had ice cream for dessert, then Jess, deciding neither he nor Daniel was ready to go back to the old house just yet, drove the two of them out on the interstate for a few miles. The desert highway was more or less empty, other than a freight train headed west. Stopped at the railroad crossing, Daniel watched the long line of cars until it disappeared into the far darkness. After that, Jess turned their truck back toward Lordsburg. He still had a lot of things in his father’s house he needed to go through and the sooner he could get it done and over with, the better he’d like it.

“Can we go to Hannah’s house now?” Daniel asked, breaking into his father’s dismal thoughts.

Surprised by the request, Jess looked at his son. “You must have really liked Hannah,” he said.

Daniel nodded. “She was nice.”

“You think so, huh. Well, I think she thought you were nice, too.”

Daniel bounced his legs up and down on the vinyl seat. “I wish Hannah could be my mommy.”

Jess very nearly slammed on the brakes. “You what!”

“I wish she could be my mommy,” Daniel repeated with exaggerated patience. “You know I don’t have one.”

Jess let out a weary breath. Oh, do I ever know it, he thought guiltily. “I know you want a mommy, son. But I—” He stopped midsentence and glanced curiously at Daniel. “Why do you wish Hannah could be your mommy?”

The little boy shrugged one shoulder, then the other. “Just because. Because she’s nice. And she smells good. And she’s pretty.”

So Daniel thought Hannah was pretty and he wanted her to be his mother. Jess couldn’t have been more shocked. Not because Daniel had asked outright for a mother. He’d been hounding Jess for some time now on the subject. But he’d never gone so far as to pick out a specific woman for the role. And Hannah was very different from any of the women Daniel had been around, including Louise, the woman who’d been his baby-sitter since the child’s infancy. What was it about Hannah that had prompted Daniel to say such things?

“Well…I guess that is true,” Jess began slowly, knowing if he didn’t say something soon, Daniel would start to question him. “Hannah is nice and pretty.” Jess had never thought of her as pretty, but through the eyes of a child, people often looked different. And now that he thought about it, he had to admit that there was something about her that stirred him, too. Something soft and feminine and even sexy. “But I really doubt she wants to be a mommy.”

“Why?”

Jess stifled a sigh. He should have been expecting that. “Why? Well, she’s not married. And only married ladies want to be mommies.”

“Then you could marry her, Daddy. Louise says if you got married, I’d get a mommy.”

Jess silently cursed the older woman for opening her mouth about such things to Daniel. And how on earth could a boy who wasn’t quite four yet remember such a thing?

“Well, that’s true,” Jess was forced to agree. “But I don’t want to get married.”

Daniel folded his little arms across his chest and pushed out his lower lip. Jess braced himself for the whining and pleading to come. But after one, then three, then five miles passed and Daniel remained stubbornly quiet, Jess ventured a hopeful look at his son.

“We’re still buddies, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Daniel said, but without much enthusiasm.

“You haven’t forgotten that we’re going to that baseball game when we get home. Tracie and Dwight will be there.”

Jess’s friend, Dwight, was also a fellow border patrolman and Tracie was his wife. Since they didn’t have any children yet, the couple doted on Daniel. And Daniel was crazy about them. But tonight, the mention of their names only brought a glum nod from Daniel.

After that, Jess decided the best thing to do was let the matter drop. In a few days, when Daniel was back at home with Louise, he’d forget all about this thing with Hannah. Jess couldn’t start worrying and fretting just because Daniel thought he wanted one certain woman to be his mother.

He wasn’t going to worry, Jess muttered to himself as he turned the truck down a residential street. Who was he kidding? He worried about Daniel all the time. He was constantly asking himself if he was doing the right things for his son, spending enough time with him, teaching him what he should know and more than anything, giving him the love he knew the child needed.

A kid needed love from two parents. Jess knew that better than anyone. So he made an extra effort to give his son his time and his affection. But that was hard to do when his job demanded he work long hours. And in two weeks, Louise was moving to Tucson to live with her sister.

Two weeks? No, it was less than two weeks now, he realized. That’s how long he had to find some kind, gentle, trustworthy woman to take care of his son. Lord, how was he going to do it? It had been so easy with Louise. She lived right next door to him. She was always home and available to keep Daniel at any hour Jess called upon her. He didn’t have to be told that it was going to be nearly impossible to find someone to replace her.

Daniel wants a mother. Yeah, he probably did, Jess answered the voice inside him. Not probably, he did want a mother, Jess corrected himself. But Daniel needed to learn he couldn’t go around picking a woman to be his mother just because she was nice and smelled good. Besides that, Jess wasn’t about to let some woman tie him up in emotional knots again. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to let one into Daniel’s life, then have her tear his heart apart by leaving. No way. It was better for him not to have a mother at all than to have one who would skip out on them when the going got rough.

A few moments later, Jess pulled into the driveway of his father’s house. He and Daniel climbed out of the truck and started walking over to the porch. Lord, the place looked bleak. This was the place Jess had once called home, but now it seemed not much more than a run-down piece of real estate. A big part of the stucco was eroding, leaving shallow pits and holes in the outside walls of the house. The gables hadn’t seen paint in years, and the yard, what little there was of it, was nothing more than sand with a few clumps of sage and grama grass growing here and there. Looking the way it did, he knew it was going to be hard to sell the property.

Jess glanced over his shoulder at Hannah’s house. A couple of lights were on behind the lace curtains at the windows and Jess wondered what she did in her spare time. What would he find her doing if he went over there right now?

The question left him grunting with amusement. Whatever it was, he’d bet it wasn’t entertaining a man.

He unlocked the door, but before he pushed it open, he glanced over at Hannah’s once again. Daniel was right in one respect, he thought. Someone like her was just what he needed to take Louise’s place. He’d bet his life that Hannah would be dependable. She probably never raised her voice, and judging by the sweet bread she’d brought over today, she could obviously cook, so Daniel wouldn’t constantly be fed snack foods. Too bad she lived in Lordsburg instead of Douglas, he thought.

Hannah couldn’t sleep and she didn’t know why. She’d read for hours, drank herbal tea and watched a boring late-night talk show on TV, but she was still wide-awake.

She blamed her restlessness on Frank Malone’s funeral. She hated funerals. But then, who didn’t? However, she’d especially hated this one because it had reminded her of her mother’s funeral; only a handful of mourners there, no family except one lonely offspring.

Poor Jess. She hurt for him because she knew how alone he must be feeling. And poor little Daniel. He would grow up without his grandfather.

As if the lights across the street were beckoning her, Hannah walked over to the picture window and looked out. Jess was still up. Though she couldn’t detect him through the curtainless windows, she could see parts of the cluttered living room. What was he doing at this hour? It was after two in the morning.

Was he so upset over his father’s passing, he couldn’t rest? Hannah hated to think so. Although his son was with him, he was more or less alone and she wondered why. Surely he had someone to whom he was close. Someone who could have come along with him for emotional support.

For the umpteenth time, Hannah wondered if Jess was married. After all, he had a son. True, a man didn’t have to be married to have a son, she quickly reminded herself. But there had to be a woman somewhere, she rationalized. So where was she? Back at home, taking care of other obligations?

That idea made Hannah snort with disapproval. If that was the case, Jess Malone didn’t have himself much of a wife or lover. Now if Hannah were married to Jess, she would have never let him and Daniel come here on their own to deal with their loved one’s death.

Lord have mercy, she was losing it, Hannah thought with a self-deprecating shake of her head. Imagining herself as Jess Malone’s wife and Daniel’s mother! She’d never be married. Much less to a man like him!

The knock at the door had Hannah bolting straight up out of a dead sleep. Her heart beating wildly in her chest, she glanced around, disoriented, until she finally realized she’d fallen asleep sometime early this morning on the living-room couch.

The knock came again. Louder this time.

Hannah wrapped the white plissé robe more tightly around her and hurried to answer the door. When she opened it and saw that the caller was Jess Malone, she very nearly gasped out loud.

“Jess. Is—uh—is something wrong?” Her eyes darted quickly downward at Daniel, who was clinging to his father’s hand and smiling broadly up at her.

Jess stared at Hannah. He hadn’t expected to wake her at this hour. It was eight-thirty. He’d figured she was an early riser, even on Saturdays. But it was obvious from her appearance that he’d woken her. She looked different. Very different with her long red hair down and curling wildly around her face and shoulders. Although she was holding the robe tightly together at her throat for modesty’s sake, Jess couldn’t help but notice the way the white material was stretched against her breasts, outlining their feminine shape. Pure male attraction surged through him, blotting out that part of his brain that was telling him to quit staring.

“Uh—no. We were just—” he thrust the empty thermos bottle at her “—returning your thermos.”

“Oh, I’d forgotten,” she said, then quickly added, “But there was no need for you to bother.”

The early-morning breeze caught at her hair and blew it in her face. One of her hands let go of the robe to push it back, allowing the fabric to fall away and expose the smooth skin of her throat.

Needing no further invitation, Jess’s eyes slid downward, hoping the wind would do what his fingers were itching to do. Part the robe even more and expose the creamy swell of her breasts.

She blushed furiously as she noticed Jess looking at her. Suddenly, he felt ridiculous because she’d caught him staring. Dear God, he was in trouble when he started fantasizing about a thirty-three-year-old spinster!

“It’s—not a bother,” he said while inwardly wishing he could kick himself.

Edging behind the doorjamb as much as she could, Hannah said, “I was just waking up. Have you two had breakfast yet?”

Jess shook his head. “We were headed down to McKay’s. Would you like to join us?”

Join them! The last time a man had invited her to go out with him had been years ago. And that invitation had been from a man she should have never trusted. But she had, and in the end she’d regretted it. Since that time, she’d avoided men like the plague. If she suddenly showed up at McKay’s with Jess Malone and his son, she’d very likely put the whole town into shock.

“That’s very nice of you, Jess. But I—it would take too long to get ready.”

It was just as well, he thought. He’d only invited her on a crazy impulse, anyway, thinking it would please Daniel to have her company during breakfast. And him, too. Damn it!

“McKay’s isn’t fancy,” he said, trying again. “Just go throw on some jeans. I’ll wait for you.”

He was serious, Hannah realized, her heart hammering heavily behind her breast.

“I don’t know—if I should,” she stammered, a part of her hungering for a chance to act like any normal woman, while the other part was terrified because she didn’t know how.

Jess didn’t know why he was patiently standing here waiting for her answer when she was acting as though he’d just asked her to go to bed with him instead of to share breakfast with him. What could she be worried about? Daniel would be with them.

“Hellfire, Hannah Dunbar! You act like you’ve never had a man invite you out to breakfast before. Either you want to go, or you don’t. Which is it?”

She hadn’t been invited out to breakfast before. But she could hardly tell him that. If possible, her creamy white complexion grew even redder at the thought. “I—do.”

She pushed the screen door open wide and stood back to allow them entry. “Please come in while I change. I’ll hurry.”

Jess guessed she would hurry. By the time he and Daniel had stepped inside the house, she was scurrying quickly down the hallway, the white robe flapping against her long, slender legs.

Daniel moved away from his father and looked curiously around the room.

“Don’t touch anything,” Jess instructed as he, too, glanced around the living room, which was filled with antique furniture dating back to the forties. It was all very womanly, he decided as he took in books, flowers and candles scattered randomly around the room, but it wasn’t fussy. In fact, it was much homier than his living room back home in Douglas.

“Wow! There’s a bird!”

Jess turned around to see Daniel racing over to a bird cage by the picture window.

“He’s pretty! Look how pretty he is, Daddy,” Daniel exclaimed as he stood admiring a white cockatoo.

“Don’t get too close,” Jess warned. “He might want your nose for breakfast.”

Giggling loudly, Daniel covered his nose with both hands. “He won’t get my nose. I’ll keep it covered.”

Back in the bedroom, Hannah’s hands shook as she fastened the buttons on her dress. It was a pink shirtwaist with elbow-length sleeves. Nothing special. But Hannah didn’t own anything special, and as for him telling her to throw on jeans, she’d almost laughed. She didn’t own a pair of jeans! Those things were for chic young girls who wanted to show off their sexy bodies. Did he really think she could wear them?

“I was wondering,” his voice came to her from the living room, “if you knew some church or charity that I could give my father’s things to. I stayed up last night packing them. Now all I need to do is load them into the truck.”

“Uh…yes,” she called loudly back to him. “I do know a place. The church I attend would welcome anything you have to give. I’ll show you where it is after we eat.”

She pushed her feet into a pair of white flats, then quickly knotted her hair at the back of her head and secured it with bobby pins. She looked dowdy. But that was nothing new. She’d always been less than pretty and felt it would be foolish of her to ever think she could be. She wasn’t like her mother, who’d been young-looking and glamorous right up until the day she’d had the car accident.

Jess, who’d been watching the cockatoo with Daniel, turned when he heard Hannah’s footsteps.

She smiled tentatively at him. “I’m ready,” she said, hoping he’d put her breathlessness down to hurrying.

She had looked far better in the robe with her hair flying around her shoulders, but Jess could hardly tell her something like that. Especially when Daniel was staring at her as though she were a gift from heaven.

“Good, I hope you’re as hungry as we are,” he said.

“I’m gonna eat pancakes,” Daniel said to Hannah as the three of them traveled the short distance to the café.

She smiled at the boy, finding his dimpled grin as charming as his daddy’s. “Oh, that sounds good,” she told him. “Are you going to eat yours with blueberries or without?”

Daniel made a face and stuck out his tongue. “Yuk! Not blueberries.”

Jess glanced over at Hannah, who was sitting as close as she could possibly get to the passenger door. “I think my cooking has ruined Daniel on blueberry pancakes. They didn’t turn out too good.”

“They were lumpy and burnt,” Daniel reminded him.

Hannah laughed and the warm, tinkling sound washed over Jess and lifted his heavy spirits.

“You don’t remember that!” Jess joshed his son.

“Yes, I do,” Daniel insisted.

Jess chuckled. “Okay, so you do. Just don’t go telling Hannah anything else about my cooking. Okay?”

Daniel giggled and Hannah glanced over at father and son. If Jess did the cooking, maybe there wasn’t a woman in their lives, Hannah pondered.

Quit your wondering, Hannah quickly scolded herself. It was none of her business whether Jess had a wife or Daniel had a mother. She was merely an old acquaintance, someone who’d just happened to live across the street from Jess while they were growing up. Just because she was having breakfast with the man didn’t mean she was anything special to him.

But it did mean something special to Hannah. It had been so long since anyone, other than the women in her church group, had shown her friendship or invited her places.

Looking out the window beside her, she thought back to how many times as a young teenager, she’d imagined herself riding down the street with Jess Malone. The tough, devilishly handsome bad boy that every girl wanted—even the good girls.

Now, here Hannah was, fifteen years later, doing just what she’d once imagined. But why? And where were all those other willing girls? Why was she here in this truck with him and Daniel, instead?

The café was very full, but Jess managed to find an empty booth in the back. After they ordered, the waitress brought coffee, ice water and orange juice to the table. Jess pulled a drinking straw out of one of the glasses of water and stuck it in a glass of juice before handing it to Daniel.

“Do you like living here, Hannah?” Jess asked as he reached for his coffee.

Hannah, who was stirring cream into her coffee, glanced up at him. “Do I like it?” she repeated blankly, not sure what his question was about. “I suppose—I’ve never lived anywhere else.”

“Did you ever think about leaving?”

As her eyes glided over his handsome face, she decided she’d better not take in too much caffeine until their food arrived. She was as shaky as a leaf in a windstorm and looking at him only made it worse. “Not really. It wasn’t possible to leave while mother was alive and needed me.”

“But she doesn’t figure into the picture anymore.”

Shaking her head, she curled her hands around the coffee cup. “No. Mother no longer needs me to care for her. But I like my job here and the woman I work for.” Briefly, her eyes met his. “Why do you ask?”

Jess shrugged. Why was he asking? Just because he’d had that one wild notion about her and Daniel didn’t mean she’d ever consider such an idea. Or would she?

“Just curious. I live in Douglas, Arizona, now.”

“I heard someone say a long time ago that you lived in El Paso,” she said.

“I did. But I was transferred a few years ago.”

She didn’t ask him anything, but Jess could see that she wanted to.

“I work for the U.S. Border Patrol,” he said, volunteering the information.

“My daddy wears a gun and badge,” Daniel told her proudly. “But he won’t let me touch the gun ‘cause guns are too dangerous.”

That jolted Hannah. The last thing she’d expected Jess Malone to be was a lawman. Although Hannah should have known he wasn’t the type to sit behind a desk. No doubt a gun and uniform looked perfect on him. And the adventure of it all surely suited him. He seemed like a man who would always need excitement in his life.

“I didn’t know,” Hannah said to Jess. “Do you like it?”

He nodded, then frowned. “I’d like it if I didn’t have to worry about—” He stopped, then glanced at Daniel. Since the boy seemed to have his attention on another table where a couple of young children were breakfasting with their parents, Jess went on. “Leaving Daniel alone.”

Something clutched Hannah’s heart. “You…mean…like if you had a bad accident?”

Jess grimaced. “I guess that’s a nice way of putting it.”

“Your job is that dangerous?” she asked, not liking to think that he could possibly get hurt or even killed in the line of duty.

Shrugging, Jess lifted the coffee cup to his lips. “Sometimes. But I’m trained to handle myself, and I doubt my job puts me in any more danger than your average truck driver. Still, there are no guarantees in life and if something should happen to me—well, Daniel would be alone.”

Hannah let out a long breath. He was implying that Daniel didn’t have a mother! Could that be true?

Jess sipped his coffee, then lowered the cup to its saucer before he continued. He didn’t know why he was getting into all of this with Hannah. She was little more than a stranger. Yet something about her gentle face and shy smile encouraged him to confide in her.

“But I’ve got a more immediate problem,” he went on when she didn’t say anything. “Daniel’s baby-sitter is leaving in a week and a half. She’s an older lady and she’s decided to spend her retirement with her sister in Tucson. I can’t blame her for that. But I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. She’s helped me with Daniel from the time I first brought him home from the hospital.”

Confused and more curious now than ever, Hannah couldn’t stop herself from blurting out, “But what about Daniel’s mother? Does she have a job, too?”

The question brought a cynical snort from Jess. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen her in nearly four years.”

Hannah gasped before she could stop it. “You haven’t? But why?”

He’d often told himself he was over Michelle’s desertion. But he hated to admit to anyone, much less another woman, that he and Daniel hadn’t been worth a backward glance to Michelle.

“She moved on.”

Hannah couldn’t have been more shocked. Even if a woman couldn’t get along with her husband, did that justify her leaving her newborn son? Hannah couldn’t imagine such a thing.

“Oh. I—I’m sorry.” Embarrassed by the whole thing, she took a quick, nervous gulp of coffee.

Jess shrugged. “There’s no need for you to be sorry, Hannah. We were never married. Michelle didn’t want that. She didn’t want to be tied down in any way.”

Hannah wanted to ask him why he’d involved himself with that sort of self-centered woman, but she stopped herself. She didn’t want to sound preachy. Besides, in Hannah’s eyes, he’d more than made up for the mistake by being a caring father to Daniel.

“Some people just can’t handle responsibility,” she said softly. “They don’t set out to intentionally hurt others. But they do.”

Jess was surprised by her words and her open-mindedness about the whole thing. But then, a lot about Hannah had surprised him.

Before anything else could be said, the waitress arrived with their breakfast. As they ate, Daniel became very talkative and Hannah took pains to answer his many questions. He was a bright, inquisitive boy for his age, and from his conversation, she could tell that Jess had obviously spent a great deal of time with him. That and just the fact that Jess had taken on the job of a single father surprised Hannah greatly. Remembering the teenage Jess Malone, she would have never figured him to be so responsible; he’d grown up. Oh, had he ever.

After the meal was over and the three of them were walking across the parking lot to Jess’s pickup, he said, “I feel like I’ve just come out from under a microscope. I think everyone in that place was looking when we walked out of there. You’d think I was a creature from Mars, or something.”

Hannah felt herself blushing. “I don’t think they were—uh, looking at you, Jess.”

He opened the pickup door. As Daniel climbed in, he glanced at Hannah. “What makes you say that?”

“Because I know they were looking at me.”

“You? You’re not a stranger around here. Probably everyone in that café knew you.”

Hannah felt the familiar hurt and embarrassment rise in her. “They did know me. That’s…uh…why they were looking. They’ve never seen me out with a man. I guess they were wondering what I was doing with you.” Or more likely, what Jess was doing inviting a woman like her out to breakfast, she silently added.

How utterly cruel, Jess thought. “It’s none of their damn business,” he said with a grimace.

She smiled wanly. “No. But I’ve had years to get used to being labeled the weird old maid.”

Hannah Dunbar was far from old and there wasn’t anything weird about her that he could see. Certainly reserved and shy, but not weird.

Deciding the best thing to do was treat the situation lightly, Jess gave her an impish wink. “Maybe they’ll think we spent the night together. That’ll cut your reputation to shreds.”

Of course he was teasing. Still, just the thought of being that intimate with Jess was enough to shake her. “I really think it would be your reputation that would suffer,” she tried to joke.

Not wanting her to feel any more awkward than she already did, Jess merely smiled and took her elbow to help her up into the seat. Her arm was small and soft and made him feel oddly protective. This woman was too vulnerable, he thought. And far too kind for her own good.

“Thank you for breakfast,” Hannah said when he pulled into her driveway. “It was very nice of you and Daniel to invite me.”

“Can I go in with Hannah?” Daniel quickly asked his father. “Can I go see the bird again?”

“May I go in,” Jess corrected him, then shook his head. “No. You may not go in. You’ve already talked Hannah’s leg off this morning.”

“Nonsense,” Hannah said as Daniel looked beseechingly up at her. “I won’t be doing anything but a little housecleaning. Let Daniel stay with me while you take your father’s things to the church.”

“You didn’t show me where it was,” Jess reminded her. “And I forgot to ask.”

“Oh. It’s the Catholic church on the south end of town. You probably remember it.”

Not from attending services, he thought, but rather from circling the old building on his motorcycle. Maybe things would have turned out differently for him if he’d been inside with Hannah, rather than outside giving Judy Mae Johnson a fast ride. Maybe he wouldn’t be a single father now. Or maybe Hannah wouldn’t be so virginal. That thought brought a curve to his lips and a dimple in his cheek.

“Yeah, I remember. What do I do with the things, once I get there?”

Hannah frowned as she tried to figure out what was putting such a devilish look on his face. They’d been talking about church, for Pete’s sake! But this was Jess Malone, she quickly reminded herself. The same guy who’d been accused of seducing his high-school English teacher.

Realizing she had yet to answer his question, Hannah said, “Just set them inside the front door. It’s never locked. Father Lopez or one of the other parishioners will find them.”

“What about me, Daddy?” Daniel said, tugging on Jess’s shirtsleeve. “Do I get to stay at Hannah’s?”

“Of course you can,” Hannah told the boy before Jess had a chance to protest. “Come on and we’ll feed Albert.”

“You’re sure about this?” Jess asked her while unbuckling Daniel’s seat belt. “I wouldn’t want either of us to be imposing on you.”

Hannah held her arms up to Daniel. The boy scrambled across the seat and straight to Hannah. She helped him down to the ground, then held on to his hand while glancing over to Jess.

“I’m happy for Daniel to visit. And don’t worry. I might not be a mother, but I do know how to take care of children.”

Jess wasn’t worried about that. He was more concerned about Daniel’s hanging his sights on having Hannah for a mother.

“I’m not worried,” he assured her, then started the truck and backed onto the street.

As he pulled away from the curb, he watched Hannah and Daniel walking hand in hand onto the porch. By the time they reached the door, Hannah was laughing and Daniel was grinning. So much for not worrying, Jess groaned to himself.