Читать книгу Hitched to the Horseman - Stella Bagwell - Страница 8

Later that morning, Mercedes was in her bedroom, trying to motivate herself to finish unpacking the boxes that were stacked in one corner. So far, she’d done little more than hang a few garments in the armoire.

What was she really doing here on the ranch, anyway? she asked herself for the umpteenth time. Was she really home to stay, or was she simply using the ranch as a launching pad to some other job at some other place?

Sighing wistfully, she dropped the slinky blouse back to the open box lying upon the bed and walked over to a huge arched window. Since her upstairs bedroom was on the west end of the house, the window was partially shaded by the enormous limbs of a live oak, yet through the break in the leaves she could see a part of the ranch yard and a small portion of the horse barn. Just looking at the old barn and recalling her encounter with Gabe Trevino was enough to make her blush.

Unwittingly, her fingertips lifted to her lips. She’d never been kissed like that before, as though she were a piece of meat and he a starving animal. It was embarrassing to think how much the kiss had excited her, had shaken the very core of her womanhood.

She’d thought John had been an adept lover. She’d believed that she would never meet another man whose touch would sweep her senses into such a mushy state of bliss. But Gabe had done that and more. Those few moments in his arms had left her feeling like a hungry tigress. She’d wanted to tear at his clothes and her own. She’d wanted to surrender to him completely. It was frightening to think how he’d woken her sleeping sexuality and turned it into a sizzling libido.

“Darling, you haven’t even gotten started with these boxes. Would you like for Alida to come up and help you?”

At the sound of her mother’s voice, Mercedes turned away from the window to see that Geraldine had walked into the room. Concern was on her face as her gaze flicked from her daughter to the still packed boxes.

“Mother, I didn’t have a maid in the Air Force. I hardly need one now.”

Geraldine scowled. “No need to get huffy. I was just offering. Or would you rather I help you?”

“No. I can manage,” she insisted. Spotting the faint look of hurt on her mother’s face, she crossed the space between them and pecked a kiss on her smooth cheek. “I don’t mean to sound sharp, Mother. I’m tired, that’s all. This past week has been a little hectic. I don’t think I’ve caught up from the jet lag yet.”

Mercedes didn’t go on to say that having a maid in the house made her feel guilty and overly pampered, especially after some of the pitiful sights she’d endured while on rescue missions in America and abroad. Floods, fires, earthquakes. The U.S. military stepped in to help when natural catastrophes shredded people’s lives and left them homeless and frightened. In those cases, having necessities was the difference between living or dying. The word maid didn’t exist in that reality.

Geraldine turned a sympathetic smile on her daughter. “And the party last night went on forever,” she conceded. “I guess I should have waited to throw it. But everyone has been so excited about you coming home. I didn’t want to wait.”

Nodding that she understood, Mercedes went over to the queen-size bed and sat on the edge of the mattress. “I’m glad you didn’t wait. I enjoyed seeing everyone again.”

Geraldine walked over to a nearby armchair and sank into it. As she crossed her long legs, Mercedes couldn’t help thinking that her mother had hardly aged the past eight years. She was quite slim and shapely for a woman of sixty-four. Her complexion was tanned and smooth, while her silver hair sparkled with life. This past year, she’d started to date again, a widowed Texas senator. Mercedes admired her courage and was especially glad that she’d never given up on life after her husband had died.

The way you’ve given up on men? Maybe she had given up on men, she told herself, but she had good reason—they weren’t to be trusted.

“Darling, we’ve not done anything to this room since you left for the Air Force,” Geraldine commented as she looked around the room. “Maybe you’d like a change. New paint? Drapes? Furniture?”

The walls of the room were a soft, textured pink and the furniture was antique heavy oak that had been here since her grandparents’ heyday. She didn’t want to change a thing about the room. It was herself that Mercedes needed to change. But she didn’t have a clue how to start. How did a person forget pain and betrayal? How could she ever have a family of her own if she couldn’t trust a man to take out the garbage on time, much less take care of her heart?

Mercedes’s gaze joined her mother’s as it traveled around the walls that were crowded with photos and paintings, then down to the Spanish tile scattered with thick looped throw rugs. “There’s nothing wrong with this room, Mother. I don’t want it changed.”

Seeming not to hear her, Geraldine went on, “Well, since Nicci’s moved out, you could take over her room if you like it better.”

Now that Nicci had married Ridge and given birth to a new daughter, Sara Rose, her sister’s bedroom was empty. As empty as Mercedes’s heart.

“No,” Mercedes said flatly. “I’m happy here.”

Geraldine’s lips pursed together. “You hardly look as if you’re happy, Mercedes. And I don’t mean to push you, but frankly, I’m worried about you, honey. I thought—” She paused and shook her head with frustration. “Well, let’s just say that I hoped coming home would make you feel differently about things.”

Mercedes plucked at the knobby bedspread. “What things?”

“Well, dammit, I’m not going to beat around the bush with you. I never have, so I don’t guess I should start now. I’m talking about that bastard—John. And don’t tell me that you’re still not moping about him. I would have thought that after eight years, you would have gotten the man out of your system. But no, I still catch you staring off into space with that my-world-has-ended look. Frankly, Mercedes, I’m sick of seeing it.”

Geraldine’s angry words snapped Mercedes’s head up. “That’s not true! I’m not moping about John Layton. Good Lord, Mother, it’s like you just said, that was more than eight years ago!”

“But you haven’t forgotten.”

How could she forget the most humiliating, heartbreaking experience of her life? John had been her history professor at the University of Texas. He’d been a quiet, serious man, highly intellectual and handsome to boot. When he’d first shown a romantic interest in Mercedes, she’d been completely bowled over by his charm. Later, as their relationship had progressed into a full-blown affair, she’d truly believed that he loved her and wanted to marry her. She’d thought that the two of them together could conquer the world. God, she’d looked at him and the world through rosecolored glasses.

Sighing, she tried to explain. “Look, Mother, I believed John was the love of my life. I thought he was going to be my husband. The father of my children!”

“Instead, you learned in an offhanded way that he already had a wife with a child on the way. Believe me, Mercedes, that would have been enough to wipe all memories of love or anything else from my mind. Apparently, you’re different from me. I guess I’m just too hard-hearted to let some noaccount, playboy college professor ruin my life.”

It was just like her mother to lay the whole affair out in such blunt terms. She didn’t play favorites with her children. She treated them all with the same tough love.

“I don’t still care for the man, if that’s what you’re thinking, Mother. In fact, I couldn’t care less what has happened to him. It’s just that the whole thing with John made me see how easy it is to be duped by a man. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to trust another one.”

Mercedes didn’t go on to explain to her mother that John’s deception was only a part of her reluctance to enter another relationship with a man. Three years ago, she’d been terribly betrayed by Airman Drew Downy. Because of him, her security status had been lowered and she’d been reprimanded severely for her lapse in judgment. It had taken months of hard work for her to regain the trust of her superior officers. All because she’d trusted a man. Because she’d believed he was a good friend and had truly cared for her. But instead of being loyal, Drew had blown the whistle on her for sharing classified secrets that he had prompted her to disclose. The memory still made her cringe with humiliation and hurt.

Even though Drew hadn’t been her lover, Mercedes had believed their relationship might grow and blossom into something lasting. When she finally figured out that he was only using her to show himself in a positive light, she’d been crushed and shocked that she’d once again so misjudged a man. After that, she’d gone numb and so guarded that she was reluctant to even share the time of day with a male counterpart in a social context.

“God help you,” Geraldine murmured.

Trying to swallow away the ball of bitterness in her throat, Mercedes thrust a hand through her thick hair. “Mother, I have other things on my mind. And they hardly revolve around finding a man.”

Looking extremely disgusted now, Geraldine tapped her fingers against the arm of the chair. “Okay. So you want to put sex and love and marriage last on your to-do list. What’s first?”

Mercedes quickly glanced away from her mother as this morning’s encounter with Gabe danced through her thoughts. Sex had hardly been the last thing on her mind when he’d planted that sizzling lock on her lips. But pure sex was all it had been, she told herself. And she wasn’t planning on letting it happen again. Not if she could help it.

Trying to shake the memory away, she said firmly, “I want to be productive, Mother. Useful. I want to feel as though I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

Clearly concerned with her daughter’s attitude, Geraldine left the chair and came to stand in front of Mercedes. “Honey, I know with your training in intelligence you could easily get a job most anywhere you wanted. You’d be making good money—not that you need it, but you’d have it to fall back on if, God forbid, the ranch ever slid into a losing hole. But I’m not all that sure that throwing yourself into a government job is what you really need at this time in your life.”

Not bothering to hide her unsettled thoughts, Mercedes held her palms up in a helpless gesture. “I’m not sure it’s what I need, either. But what am I supposed to do, Mother? I’m not the idle type. And I can’t simply chase cows from morning ’til night.”

And she sure as heck wasn’t going to work with the horses and face Gabe Trevino every day, Mercedes thought. Her peace of mind would be torn to shreds.

“There’s more to do around here than chase cows! Ask your brother. Ask your cousin Matt. They work themselves to the ground every day to keep this place in the black. Maybe it’s time someone else in the family offered to step up to the plate and do their part!”

Mercedes was cut to the quick by her mother’s retort, and she couldn’t utter one word in reply. Instead, she rose from the bed and brushed past Geraldine. At one end of the room, rows of wide wooden shelves held souvenirs and mementos from her past. A 4-H trophy for best heifer at the state fair. Another for horsemanship. A rhinestone tiara from when she’d won Miss Junior Rodeo for Goliad County. A pair of scarred ballet slippers. A sheet of music she’d played in a piano recital. A dried rose taken from her father’s coffin.

There were many more bits and pieces of her life scattered across the shelves and as she gazed at them, she tried to rein in her exploding emotions. Her parents had given her a wonderful childhood and opened doors to any path she’d wanted to take. These years she’d been away, she’d not stopped to think that her family might be expecting her to eventually give back to the ranch. Instead, she’d been selfishly focused on her own career.

“If you’re trying to make me feel guilty, Mother, then you’ve certainly succeeded,” she murmured hoarsely.

Mercedes had hardly gotten the words out when she felt her mother’s hands on her shoulders, gently pulling her around.

“Mercedes!” she scolded softly. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I’m sorry if I did. But I am trying to jar you. To wake you up out of this foggy sleep you’ve been in ever since you left the Sandbur.”

Pressing her lips to a firm line, Mercedes swung her head back and forth. Eight years ago, shortly after she’d learned the truth about John, she’d met an Air Force recruiter on campus. He’d made the idea of serving her country and acquiring a new career sound exciting and challenging, just what she’d needed to take her mind off the miserable mistakes she’d made. Initially, she supposed she had used the military as a way to get away from campus and the Sandbur. She’d had her fill of her family watching her with sympathy and treating her as though she had an illness instead of a broken heart. But once she’d gotten through basic training at Lackland Air Force Base, her whole attitude toward her enlistment had taken on a different meaning. Now, her service as an airman was important to her and was something she was definitely proud of. The past eight years had shaped and strengthened her. She wanted her mother and the rest of her family to see that she could bear up under any pressure.

“I’ve hardly been living in a coma,” she muttered.

Geraldine rolled her eyes. “Okay, maybe I should have said you’ve been hiding in your job. You loved being on Diego Garcia because the tiny island was totally away from the rest of the world. Away from the rest of us regular folks doing the mundane task of living. I actually think if you’d been given the choice, you would have stayed there forever.”

Her mother’s mistaken assumptions fueled Mercedes’s temper. If she’d wanted to stay, as her mother had so bluntly suggested, she could have reenlisted. More than that, she could have easily continued to make the Air Force her career. But her heart had been crying out to come home. It had been longing for more than simply going through each day carrying out her duties as an airman. She’d thought her mother understood, but apparently she didn’t. Mercedes couldn’t stop herself from raising her voice, “And what the hell do you think I was doing there? Drinking margaritas and strumming a guitar beneath a palm tree?”

Temper sparked in Geraldine’s eyes. “Your job. While conveniently forgetting the rest of your life.”

Mercedes stared at her, aghast that their conversation had escalated into such a verbal war. Over the years, the two of them had argued before, but this time Geraldine’s barbed words stung her worse than ever.

Mercedes was wondering what to say, or if she should even make any sort of retort, when her mother solved the problem by turning and walking out of the room.

Her eyes stinging with tears, Mercedes went over to the closet and pulled out her favorite pair of old cowboy boots. She had to get out of the house. She needed to see the ranch and remember why it had pulled her back to Texas in the first place.

Later that afternoon, Gabe stepped out of the horse barn carrying a saddle on his shoulder when the sound of cantering hoofbeats caught his attention. He looked around to see Mercedes and her mount flying toward the ranch yard. Dust boiled behind the blue roan as she steered him toward a nearby corral, then skidded the animal to a stop a nose-length away from the board fence.

His jaw slack, Gabe watched her leap from the saddle and land on the ground like an agile cat. Coming from a ranching background, he’d expected Mercedes to be able to ride, but not like Annie Oakley! Was there anything the woman couldn’t do?

He walked over to one of the wranglers working in the yearling pen. “Hey, James, is that Mouse that Ms. Saddler is riding?” he asked.

The young cowboy glanced up from the rope halter he was trying to untangle and stared across the pen to where Mercedes was now slowly leading the horse around in a large circle.

“Yep, that’s him. She took off on him this mornin’ sometime before lunch.”

Gabe silently cursed. The horse was definitely a beauty, with a blue roan coat and flax mane and tail. Part Thoroughbred, he was long and tall, as well as fast, nervous and totally unpredictable. Mouse still needed hours more training to be trustworthy for any rider, including himself.

“Did you catch him for her?”

“Nope.” Glancing around at Gabe, the cowboy shook his head with a bit of admiration. “She picked him out of the remuda we’d rounded up for today’s work and roped him herself.”

Gabe stared at the ranch hand. Plenty of Texas women knew their way around a horse, but not many he knew could handle a rope, especially a loop that was tossed backward to keep the line from tightening and choking the animal. “She roped Mouse?”

“That’s what I said. She threw one of the prettiest houlihans I’d ever seen before. Surprised the heck out of me. I mean, she’s the boss’s daughter, but she looks so delicate. I figured she’d always had her mounts saddled for her. And I dang sure never seen a girl throw a houlihan before. But she did. Then saddled him herself and took off toward the river. After that, I didn’t worry about Mouse being too much horse for her. She handled him better than I could.”

Gabe’s gaze left the cowboy to settle on Mercedes, who was continuing to carefully cool down the horse. Since the moment he’d met her, she’d surprised him, amazed him, even worried him and now he had to admit that she wasn’t the spoiled princess he’d expected her to be. Yet she was trouble. He could feel it stirring in his gut, whispering in his ear.

“I guess I could have tried to stop her from riding Mouse,” James went on. “But she didn’t look like she was in any mood to take advice from me. I warned her that he was high-strung. That’s about all I could do.”

Gabe dropped an understanding hand on James’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it,” he told the cowboy, then walked over to the fence. After he unloaded the saddle on the top rail, he headed straight to Mercedes.

By the time he reached her, she had tied Mouse to a hitching post and was working loose the back cinch from beneath the animal’s underbelly. As Gabe came to a stop a few feet from where she was standing, she tossed him a stoic glance.

“Good evening,” she greeted.

He inclined his head politely toward her. “Evenin’,” he replied as his eyes slid over the curves hidden behind her white shirt and dark blue jeans. It was hard to believe that he’d had that perfect body crushed against his, that he’d tasted the sweet wine of her lips.

Not bothering to say more, she continued to unsaddle the horse. Gabe studied her for long moments and wondered why he couldn’t stay away from her. He didn’t like to think of himself as weak willed, but she definitely made him feel out of control.

After a bit, he stated the obvious. “I see you’ve been riding Mouse.”

“Is that his name?”

“Nickname.”

“Not a very good one,” she said. “Because he’s not afraid of anything.”

Apparently she wasn’t, either, Gabe thought. Stepping closer, he said, “Did he give you any problems?”

She glanced at him as though she found his question surprising. “None at all. He’s a honey horse. I really like him.”

As though to emphasize her words, she stroked the animal’s sweaty neck. As Gabe’s gaze followed the movement of her small hand, he couldn’t help but remember the way it had touched him, the way it had tasted when he’d kissed the back of it.

“Then Mouse must like you better than he likes the cowboys here on the ranch. He’s usually a devil. A few weeks ago, he tossed one of the hands and broke the guy’s collarbone.”

She hefted the saddle from the horse’s back and lifted it onto the top rail of the fence. It wasn’t like Gabe to stand still and allow a woman to do such manual labor, but he instinctively understood that she didn’t want or require his help. She was just the sort of independent woman that enjoyed showing a man she didn’t need him. The same way Sherleen had taken pleasure in reminding him how easily she could get along without him, he thought sourly.

“Mouse knew that I trusted him,” Mercedes said. “And that’s all he needed to trust me back.”

Gabe would have never expected this woman to understand a horse’s psyche. The fact that she did impressed him, in spite of himself.

Clearing his throat, he said, “Uh, Mercedes, I’m glad I saw you ride up. I think—I want to apologize to you.”

Twisting her head, she peered skeptically at him. “You think you want to apologize? Or you know that you want to apologize?”

He moved closer, until the scent of horse and woman mingled and swirled beneath his nostrils.

With a rueful grimace, he said, “I want to apologize. I was out of line this morning. I had no right or reason to—uh—grab you the way I did in the office. You were only teasing and I should have took it as such.”

He watched her blue eyes widen with surprise. Her whole body turned to face him.

“Do you really mean that?” she asked softly.

Gabe could feel his heart jerk, then take off in a hard gallop. God, but this was crazy. No woman, including his ex-wife, had ever affected him this much. He’d thought about her all day. All day.

“I really mean it,” he said.

She let out a long breath, smiled briefly, then quickly dropped her head. A few moments passed before Gabe realized she was crying. Seeing her in such a vulnerable state stunned him, tore him like the tip of a lashing whip.

“Mercedes?” he asked softly, then carefully placed a hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

Blinking back her tears, she lifted her eyes to his face. “Forgive me, Gabe. I—I don’t normally behave as though I’m having an emotional breakdown.”

His fingers tightened and unconsciously began kneading her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Forget what I said this morning.”

She sucked in a deep breath. “It’s not you. Although I’m glad we’re not at war with each other. It would be pretty awful for the two of us to circle each other like mad dogs every time we crossed paths.”

“Yeah. Someone might have wanted to shoot the both of us,” he teased.

She tried to smile, but fresh tears spilled from her eyes. The urge to pull her into his arms and kiss those tears away rushed over him like a sudden, unexpected rainstorm. The strange reaction dazed him, making him feel worse than gullible. Hell, he’d never felt the urge to console anybody. Except maybe as a very young boy when he’d found his mother crying over the empty cupboards and unpaid bills. Yeah, he’d hugged his mother tightly and told her how much he loved her. As if love would fix anything, he thought bitterly. He’d tried to comfort Sherleen when she’d been upset, but she’d never been the tearful sort. She’d been a screamer and his attempts to placate her had been shunned.

Shoving that unwanted thought aside, Gabe watched Mercedes dash the tears away with the back of her hand. “I got into a quarrel of sorts with Mother this morning. I’ve been riding out over the range this afternoon thinking about her and the ranch and—a lot of things.”

His gaze touched the sweet lines of her face. “Coming home isn’t as easy as it sounds.”

Mercedes realized his simple statement completely summed up the emotional turmoil inside her, and she looked at him with new regard. “Sometimes I think I’ve been gone too long, Gabe. Maybe I’ve forgotten how to be a part of this ranch.”

“You haven’t forgotten.”

His gaze was piercing, unsettling, forcing her to look away from him and swallow.

“Mother expects me to make my home—my life—here now.”

“And what do you want, Mercedes?”

She could feel his fingers cease their movement on her shoulder, as though every part of him was waiting for her answer. Could it really matter to him whether she stayed on the ranch or left for parts unknown?

“I rode Mouse all the way to the river,” she said quietly. “And by the time I got back here to the ranch yard, I realized how much I still love this place.”

“Enough to stay?”

A wry smile touched her lips. She’d already made up her mind that the Sandbur was her home now, but she wasn’t comfortable sharing that information with Gabe just yet. It was hard enough for her to have a simple conversation with him. “You’ll have to ask me that later, Gabe. Right now I’d better go make peace with my mother.”

She turned to untie the reins from the hitching post, but Gabe’s hand suddenly swept hers away.

“You go find Geraldine. Let me take care of Mouse for you.”

She hesitated, feeling both awkward and touched that he was being so thoughtful. Maybe he had truly put their cross words of this morning behind him. She hoped so. The sexual tension between them was more than enough to handle without adding hostility to it.

“He needs a bath,” she said of the horse.

His grin was droll. “I know how to give him one.”

The playful look on his face filled Mercedes with relief and a lightheartedness she’d not felt in a long, long time.

Laughing, she rose on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Yes, I guess you do. Thanks, Gabe!”

As she turned and hurried away, Gabe stared after her and, like a fool, wondered how long it would be before he watched her walk away from the Sandbur. From him.