Читать книгу Lone Star Daddy - Stella Bagwell - Страница 8

Is Mr. Redman going to be taking his meals here?”

Alexa, who was sitting at an L-shaped bar at one end of the kitchen cabinets, looked up at the cook. Reena’s question had caught her off guard. Jonas’s meals were not something that had yet crossed her mind. Since she’d left the man’s office a few minutes ago, the most she’d tried to do was convince herself that their paths would rarely cross. “I don’t know, Reena. I suppose I’ll have to ask him. But don’t worry about it. If he does decide to take his meals here instead of in the bunkhouse, then he’ll just have to eat what Sassy and I eat.”

Reena nodded. “I’ll make plenty to go around.”

The cook’s remark only reminded Alexa all over again that she was going to have to deal with Jonas Redman being in the house. True, Sassy stayed in a room off the kitchen, but she slipped in and out at all hours of the night. Sassy was young, and so her free time was, more often than not, taken up with social activities. And evenings were exactly when Jonas would be showing up at the ranch house.

Alexa wasn’t sure if she was excited or annoyed by the prospect. Something about the man left her uneasy. Just a few words from him had made her stop and take a second look at herself, and that in itself was scary. A wandering cowboy from Texas shouldn’t have that much power over her. In fact, he shouldn’t be having any effect on her at all.

With that thought, Alexa quickly rose from the bar stool. “I’d better check to see if Sassy has one of the guest rooms ready,” she told Reena, then quickly exited the kitchen.

Upstairs, she met the young red-haired maid in the hallway. A ball of sheets was wadded in her arms.

“Need something, Alexa?”

Alexa smiled. “I was just wondering if you’ve finished preparing a room for Jonas?”

Nodding, Sassy dropped the sheets and motioned for Alexa to follow her. “I’ve tidied up the room next to yours,” she said as they walked toward the end of the hallway. “I hope that’s okay. Since you didn’t say, I thought you’d probably be wanting him near.” She looked at Alexa. “I mean, in your condition you might need help in the middle of the night. If your water broke or something, you wouldn’t want to have to go traipsing across the house to find him.”

Everything Sassy was saying made sense. Yet the idea of Jonas in such close proximity was definitely going to be a challenge to Alexa’s senses.

“I suppose you’re right,” Alexa reluctantly agreed.

The two women stepped into the room, and while Sassy gave another smoothing hand to the bedclothes, Alexa glanced around her. The room wasn’t as large as hers, but with its rustic cedar furnishings, Native American artwork and woven rugs, it was fitting for a man like Jonas. As for Barry, he wouldn’t have fit in anywhere on the Chaparral. He’d been a city boy through and through. Tailored suits, briefcases and wing-tipped oxfords were his everyday staples. Sometimes she wondered if she’d gotten involved with the man just because he had been so opposite from her home life, so opposite from Mitch.

For a moment, memories of the young cowboy assaulted her, freezing her footsteps and the images in her mind. Mitch had been her first love, and his reckless, carefree attitude toward life had been infectious to a teenage Alexa. She’d thought the world was theirs until one night, after too much beer and partying, he’d wrecked the truck they’d been riding in on a mountain highway east of Ruidoso. The crash had killed Mitch instantly and put Alexa in the hospital for over two weeks. The incident had drastically changed her life, and ever since she’d shied away from anything wearing boots and a sexy grin. Instead of the outdoor girl she’d always been, she’d turned bookish and serious and set her mind on a degree in political science. By age twenty she’d gotten a position on the mayor’s staff in Ruidoso, and two years later she’d gone to work in the state capital building. And there she’d believed she’d put cowboys and the Chaparral out of her mind.

Now here she was back home, doing something she’d never planned to do again. Thinking about a cowboy.

“Alexa—is something wrong?”

Alexa was so absorbed in her thoughts that it took Sassy’s voice a moment or two to finally register with her. When it did, she looked across the room at the maid. “Did you say something?” she asked blankly.

“Is something wrong?” Sassy repeated. “You looked sorta sad.”

Alexa did her best to smile. “Nothing is wrong. I was just thinking about something that happened a long time ago.”

The maid didn’t look too convinced but, thankfully, changed the subject.

“Oh. Well, I was asking if I should open the balcony door,” she said. “Some fresh air might make the room smell nice.”

“Go ahead,” Alexa told her. “Jonas can close it later.”

“And what about flowers? I wasn’t sure about putting fresh flowers in the room.”

Alexa walked over to the nightstand and wiped a finger over the polished wood. Everything was spotless. “No. I don’t think Jonas will expect flowers. He’s probably not used to such things.”

Sassy didn’t respond, and Alexa glanced up to see a disapproving look on her face.

“Just because he’s a cowboy doesn’t mean he can’t appreciate flowers,” Sassy muttered after a moment.

Alexa opened her mouth to assure the young woman she didn’t mean anything insulting with her remark. Everyone was treated equally at the Chaparral. But Sassy would hardly believe that now. Dear God, it seemed like everything she said today came out sounding wrong.

“I’d better go get the sheets in the wash,” Sassy said and quickly started toward the door.

Alexa called out to her. “Wait a minute, Sassy. Please.”

Alexa’s heart softened as she watched the young woman walk back to the center of the room. Sassy had been orphaned at age seventeen, when her parents had perished in a house fire. After that, Alexa’s parents had taken her in and given her a job here on the Chaparral. She’d become like family, and Alexa wanted her to understand that.

“You need something else, Alexa?” Sassy asked.

With a regretful smile, Alexa walked over and hugged the younger woman’s shoulders. “Yes, I need to apologize. For sounding like a—well, like a queen wasp.”

Sassy laughed. “Oh, Alexa, that’s a terrible thing to say about yourself. I understand you’ve been under a strain. Moving back home like this…it’s gotta be—well, something you’ll have to get used to all over again.”

Alexa sighed with relief. At least Sassy understood. “Truthfully, Sassy, it’s turning out to be much harder than I ever expected. But I’ll survive. I just wanted to say that bit about Jonas and the flowers—I honestly didn’t want you putting flowers in his room, because I didn’t want him to think I was going out of my way to make things extra pleasant for him.”

Sassy’s brows pulled together in confusion. “Why? He has to be a nice man or Quint wouldn’t have hired him.”

The young woman’s simple reasoning made Alexa feel even smaller. “I’m sure he is. It’s just that—well, it’s kind of awkward for me—having him here in the house. I’ve only just met him and he’s—”

“Darn good-looking,” Sassy finished for her. “And single.”

Alexa’s brows lifted. “How did you know that about him?”

Sassy’s smile was conspiring. “The ranch has a gossip grapevine, Alexa. I hear things from the bunkhouse cook.”

“Gus? He’s getting too old to gossip!”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Sassy joked, then looked at Alexa with empathy. “And don’t go worrying about the new manager. Your mother will be back soon and everything will get back to normal.”

Long after dark, Alexa was lounging on the back patio, soaking up the cool breeze and thinking about Sassy’s comment. Would things in her life ever get back to normal? she wondered.

In spite of her blowup with Barry, she was excited about the coming baby. Already she loved it with all her heart. In fact, for the past few months, thoughts of her coming child were the only thing that had kept her focused and going. Yet she wondered if she’d ever have the courage to trust another man or, for that matter, to resume her job in Santa Fe.

When she’d left, she’d done so on a leave of absence, with the option to return to Senator Hutchins’s office whenever she was ready. Which had been an overly generous offer on the senator’s part. Alexa appreciated the fact that her job would be there for her if she decided to return. But she wasn’t sure that life in politics was right for her anymore. Barry would still be hanging around the capital, and though he’d been out of her life for months now, she’d not been able to avoid running into him casually.

The whole situation was awkward. But then, she should have never been attracted to Barry in the first place, she thought with self-disgust. She should have been able to see beneath his polished appearance and glib way with words. Once she’d started dating him, her instincts should have picked up on the fact that he was out for himself and no one else. Damn it, he’d been a lobbyist. What more could she expect?

But he’d helped get great environmental laws passed for the state and the good of the people. She’d believed he was a sincere, dedicated man. And she’d been drawn to him because of their shared interests and goals.

With Barry she’d approached their relationship with logic and common sense rather than passion, and she’d felt proud of herself for not swooning and falling into a pit of sexual heat, as she had with Mitch. They had dated and then moved in with each other about a year later. She’d thought they’d shared goals and ideals.

Eventually, when she’d learned she was pregnant, she’d been happy, envisioning the three of them as a perfect family. But only a few days later she’d learned quite by accident—through a stack of paperwork he’d left lying about in their apartment—that he’d been involved in some unscrupulous dealings. And to make matters worse, when she’d confronted him, he’d clearly felt no shame over his behavior.

When she’d announced to Barry that she was leaving, he’d been shocked that she would turn down such a catch as him. He’d considered himself a rising star in the state political arena, and he’d expected Alexa to want to ride on his coattails all the way to the top. But once she’d discovered his underhanded dealings, she’d had no choice but to end everything between them.

She couldn’t live with an immoral man, much less have her child raised by one. Barry hadn’t seen it that way, and for a few weeks he’d made ugly noises about custody rights and using his political pull to take the child completely away from her. That had been his way of forcing her into coming back to him.

But she and Barry had both known that he’d not really wanted her or the child that much. He simply hadn’t wanted to lose the fight.

Fortunately, he’d eventually come to the conclusion that their relationship could never be salvaged. He’d decided that signing his rights to the baby over to her would be much better than Alexa’s exposing his misdeeds to a pack of hungry newspaper reporters.

It was a relief to know that she was free of Barry now, she thought. She only wished she was free of the damage his betrayal had done to her self-confidence, her ability to judge people on the inside, where it really mattered.

A footfall on the concrete patio pulled Alexa from her glum thoughts, and she turned her head to see Jonas Redman standing a few feet away. A duffel bag was thrown over his shoulder, and he appeared tired and dusty. Foolish excitement hummed along her veins.

“Excuse me for interrupting, Alexa. I only wanted to let you know that I’m finally here. I meant to arrive earlier, but things got busy.”

Her heart thumping, Alexa swung her legs to the ground and rose to her feet. “That’s all right. If you’d like to come in, I’ll show you your room.”

Nodding, he followed her through the back door of a small atrium filled with all types of potted plants and cushioned lawn furniture, then into a dimly lit kitchen.

“Sassy is out for the evening,” she informed him. “But Reena, our cook, saved supper for you.”

“No need for that,” Jonas replied. “I can eat with the boys in the bunkhouse. Gus will have something left over.”

She gestured toward an open door that led into a long hallway. “It’s no trouble, Jonas. And someone needs to help Sassy and me eat all the food that Reena prepares.”

At the end of the hallway they turned into what looked to be a living room. On the left side, a wide staircase made of dark, polished wood led to the second floor. Jonas followed at a respectable distance. Until they were nearly to the landing. There, Alexa suddenly sagged against the bannister and clutched it tightly with both hands as though it was all she could do to stay upright.

Leaping up the two steps separating them, Jonas quickly put his hand under her elbow to steady her. As his eyes anxiously scanned her face, he noticed her breathing was labored.

“Alexa! What’s wrong?”

Pressing a hand to her throat, she drew in a long breath. “I—I’m okay, Jonas. I just…got a little winded. That happens when I try to move too fast. All this extra weight pushing against my diaphragm doesn’t make stair-climbing easy.”

She was recovering quickly, yet he was reluctant to loosen his hold on her arm. If she happened to get dizzy and fall backward down the staircase, it would, in all likelihood, harm her and the baby.

“You didn’t need to escort me to my room,” he scolded lightly. “You could have just told me where it was.”

Straightening to her full height, she said, “Don’t be silly. I have to climb the stairs to get to my room, too.”

As Jonas stared at her, he was suddenly struck by how soft her skin felt against his hand, how sweet she smelled and how totally vulnerable she was. It had been a long time since he’d been this close to a woman, a long time since he’d touched one. He’d almost forgotten the tender feelings a woman could evoke in a man.

“Are you having health problems?” he asked. “Something I need to know about?”

Color darkened her cheeks as she shook her head. “No. I’m fine. Really, Jonas.”

Pulling her arm away from his hand, she headed up the stairs, leaving him with nothing to do but follow.

At the end of a wide hallway, she gestured to the right, where a door stood ajar. “This is your room. If there’s anything you need that Sassy might have missed, just let me know.”

Jonas entered the room and was surprised when she followed and switched on a lamp at the head of the bed. Earlier today, he’d gotten the impression that she wanted to avoid being near him at all cost. Maybe she was deciding he wasn’t a threat, after all.

“The bathroom is over there in the right corner,” she informed him. “And the balcony is beyond the open door. You might find it more comfortable to sleep with that door open. The night air cools the room nicely.”

He tossed his duffel bag onto the bed. Everything he’d brought from Texas was in that bag. Including his weapon and Ranger badge. He was going to have to find a hiding place for them. Otherwise, the maid might possibly stumble across the items during her routine cleaning.

“Everything is fine, Alexa. The room is far beyond my needs.” He lifted off his hat and placed it next to the bag. “I’ll be out of here early in the morning, so I’ll try not to disturb you. As for the evenings, I can’t say when I’ll be showing up. I’m sure you remember that ranch days rarely end before dark.”

Nodding, she gave him a brief smile. “Of course. When my father was running the ranch, he was oftentimes a stranger around here. So I don’t expect your schedule to fit with mine. You’re welcome to come and go as you please.”

Strange how she’d done an about-face, Jonas thought. She’d initially been outraged when he’d suggested staying in the house with her. Now she was the perfect welcoming hostess. Was that what being pregnant did to a woman, swung her moods wildly one direction and then another? If so, he was going to be in for a hell of a ride in these next coming days.

She started toward the door. “If you’ll come down to the kitchen in a few minutes, I’ll heat your supper.”

Jonas was hardly expecting her, the heiress of the place, to see to his kitchen needs, but he wasn’t going to argue the point now. If she wanted to extend to him a bit of hospitality, then he was going to be grateful enough to accept it.

“Fine. Thanks.”

She disappeared into the hallway, and he began to put away his things in the long oak dresser. As for his pistol and badge, he pulled out the bottom drawer of the dresser, placed them on the floor beneath, then returned the drawer to its track and shoved it back in place.

Minutes later, after a quick shower, Jonas pulled on a pair of faded jeans and boots and topped them with a white T-shirt before heading downstairs. As he walked toward the kitchen, he was struck by the quietness and reminded all over again that no one was in the house except for him and Alexa.

The smell of roast beef and vegetables met his nose long before he entered the kitchen. The growl of his stomach reminded him that he’d not eaten a bite of food since breakfast.

“I didn’t know whether you would prefer iced tea or beer with your meal,” Alexa told him as he stepped into the room. “So I gave you both.”

A plate piled high with food was already laid out on the table. Next to it was a basket full of bread rolls, an assortment of condiments and the two drinks. She gestured for him to take a seat.

“Aren’t you going to have any?” he asked as he pulled out a chair.

“I would, but I’ve already eaten,” she told him.

“Then surely you can join me with something to drink,” he suggested politely.

She studied him for a long moment, as though she couldn’t quite decide whether joining him would be the right thing to do. Jonas tried not to let her attitude offend him. After all, she’d already gone out of her way to be gracious. No one said she had to cozy up to him.

“All right. Since it’s decaffeinated, I suppose I could have a glass of tea,” she told him as she went over to the counter to fetch the drink.

“You’re not supposed to have caffeine?” he asked curiously.

“It’s not healthy for the baby, so I try to limit the stuff.”

She carried the tea back over to the table and took the chair across from him. He glanced up from his plate to see her stirring a spoonful of sugar into her glass. There was a small ruby and silver ring on her right hand, but nothing on her left. The lack of an engagement ring spoke volumes to Jonas.

“Sorry if my questions sound silly. I don’t know much about women having babies. Cows and horses are more my line.”

Tonight, without a hat and a button-down shirt, he looked different somehow, Alexa thought. Younger and sexier, if that was possible. His brown hair was the color of a pecan streaked with shades of coffee and honey. The waves stuck out in damp disarray about his head, as though he’d had an expensive razor cut to make his hair look purposely messy. But Alexa very much doubted he spent his money on such vain things. It didn’t fit his nature, she decided, as her gaze dipped down to his corded arms. They had a farmer’s tan that ended at the cuffs of his T-shirt, and Alexa found herself wondering what his chest looked like beneath the white T-shirt.

Swallowing at the nervous tightening in her throat, she asked, “You don’t have any children of your own?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m divorced. Have been for six years.”

The revelation jarred her. For some reason, she’d pictured him as always being a single man. To think that he’d once loved and married a woman put him in a whole new light.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

One thick shoulder shrugged. “You weren’t. And it’s not a secret.”

What had happened? Alexa wondered. Had he been at fault for the breakup of his marriage? Or his wife? Was his ex the reason he’d left Texas?

Forget it, Alexa. This man’s personal life is not your business. Besides, you have your own problems to think about.

After a short stretch of silence, he said, “So you’ve been living in Santa Fe. Did you like living in the city?”

Alexa slid her fingertips up and down the side of the ice-cold glass. “It was okay.” At least it was okay until everything with Barry had gone wrong, she thought grimly. “I worked at the state capital building as an aide to a senator.”

Feeling his gaze on her, she darted a glance at him and was surprised to see that he actually looked curious. Most men, especially the outdoor type, never showed much interest in her job. Maybe her first impression of Jonas Redman had been right. He wasn’t an ordinary man.

“You like that sort of thing—working in government?”

From out of nowhere a bit of shyness struck her, and she looked down at the tabletop rather than at him. “It’s interesting to me. But mostly I like helping serve the public.”

“How did you get the job with the senator? I suspect there were plenty of applicants waiting in line.”

Lifting her gaze back to him, she was relieved to see he was now focusing on his plate rather than her face. “I honestly don’t know how I happened to land it. At the time I was working in the Ruidoso mayor’s office and trying to finish up college.” She chuckled with fond remembrance. “What I lacked in experience, I made up in enthusiasm, I suppose.”

He looked at her and smiled, and for a moment Alexa felt as though everything around her stopped. The expression warmed his face and hinted at a softer side to the iron cowboy. It also endeared him to her, pulled her toward him in a way that caught her by complete surprise.

“Are you planning to go back? I mean, after your baby is born?”

A soft sigh escaped her as she turned her gaze away from him and toward the row of windows to their right. Even though it was dark, a distant outdoor lamp illuminated a part of the ranch yard. At the moment, nothing was stirring except for the wind ruffling the leaves on the aspen trees. “I—I’m not sure. I think I need a little time to make up my mind about that.”

“I’m curious about one thing,” he said.

His comment jerked her gaze back to his. “What’s that?”

He reached for another roll and proceeded to tear it down the center. “I’ve been wondering about your feelings for this ranch. It appears your father and brother put their lives into making it go. Were you never interested in it?”

Interested? Once she’d loved every inch, every blade of grass, every cow and horse on the place. Even before she’d started kindergarten, she’d followed her father around, watching him tend to everything, from a sick calf to a broken fence. He’d put her in the saddle before she’d been able to walk, and from her early childhood up until Mitch’s death she’d had one purpose in life, and that had been to help run the ranch, to do her part in making it grow and prosper. The accident had turned her away from everything she’d once loved, and now, after all this time, she was frightened to let herself love it again.

“Of course I was,” she said stiffly. “The ranch has always been my home.”

His plate nearly empty, he put down his fork and leaned back in his chair. Alexa hated the way her eyes were drawn to the broad width of his chest, the bunching of his biceps as he folded his arms together.

“Well,” he said casually, “most women don’t get involved with the grit and grime of everyday ranch life. Quint says your mother doesn’t ride at all. Do you?”

His question seemed so absurd to Alexa that she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Which only prompted him to look at her in a calculating way.

“I didn’t realize that was a funny question,” he said as her laughter ebbed to a soft chuckle.

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it.” She leaned toward him and smiled, with the first confidence she’d felt in a long, long time. “If I wasn’t so pregnant, I bet I could outride you, Jonas Redman.”

His hazel eyes suddenly glinted with interest; at the same time, a grin tugged at one corner of his mouth. “That’s a bold statement. Especially since you don’t know me.”

“Maybe. But I know myself. I’ve been riding since before I could walk. In spite of Mother’s protest.”

“She didn’t want you to do those types of things?”

Alexa grimaced. “Mother was always a worrier. She did her best to keep Quint and me from doing anything she considered risky. But Dad won out on the riding and…other things.”

“In other words it was the risk she opposed. It wasn’t that she wanted her daughter to do more feminine things.”

“That’s right. You see, Mother had—well, she had two sons by her first husband that she…had to give up for a long time. And I guess she protected me and my brother because she was afraid she’d lose us, too.”

Now why had she gone and told him all that? Alexa wondered. It wasn’t like her to share family matters with strangers. Especially such things as her mother had gone through.

Because Jonas doesn’t feel like a stranger. Because something about him is easy and calm and inviting.

“That’s only human,” he said softly. “We want to cling to what we love the most.”

A long rush of air passed her lips, and she realized her heart was thumping hard behind her breasts. When she’d heated Jonas’s supper for him, she’d not expected to join him, much less have such a personal conversation with the man. She’d planned to go about her business or pretend to have more important things to do and politely leave the kitchen.

He hadn’t allowed that to happen, and now all she could think about was that the two of them were alone, that only a wall would be separating them as they slept.

Dear God, what was the matter with her? Were her hormones going crazy all of a sudden? Since her break with Barry, the idea of even looking at another man had repulsed her. And Jonas Redman wasn’t her type at all. No, cowboys were off-limits. Forever.

And now politicians are off-limits, too. What are you going to do, Alexa? Quit men entirely because you happen to be a bad judge of character? You’ve tried passion, and you’ve tried logic. Is there anything left?

Clearing her throat, she slowly rose to her feet. “Uh—it’s getting late. Is there anything else you’d like before I head upstairs?”

Pushing his chair away from the table, he also stood. “I’ve had plenty. Thanks.”

He picked up his dirty plate, glass and beer bottle. “Where do I put these?” he asked.

She motioned to the sink. “Just put them there. Sassy will put them in the dishwasher later.”

Alexa left the kitchen, but he quickly caught up to her in the living room, just before she reached the staircase. When his hand came under her elbow and his arm circled around the back of her waist, she stopped in her tracks and stared at him.

“May I ask what you’re doing?”

His solemn expression didn’t waver. “You’re not going up those stairs without me to help you.”

Her first instinct was to laugh, but she bit back the urge. As she looked at his face, she realized he was seriously concerned for her, and suddenly the idea that he cared that much for her well-being caused tears to sting the back of her eyes.

“I have to go up and down them during the day, Jonas,” she said softly.

“Yes. But it’s late and you’re tired. I’m here now. So don’t argue.”

A smile tugged at her lips. “All right. It would be nice to lean on your strong arm.”

“That’s better,” he said huskily, then urged her forward.

He purposely kept their climb at a slow pace, and although Alexa realized he was taking it easy for her sake, she was quickly wishing the task would end. Having Jonas’s arm locked firmly around her, feeling the warmth of his hard body pressing against the side of hers, was doing strange things to her senses.

Once they reached the landing, she expected him to release her, but his arm remained at her back and his fingers stayed curled around her arm until they reached Alexa’s bedroom door.

“Here we are,” he said, “and you’re not even breathing hard.”

No. But her heart was hammering, and every nerve in her body sizzling, she thought. “Thank you, Jonas. Good night.”

Dropping his hold on her, he started to his room, only to pause and look over his shoulder at her. “You know, after your baby gets here, I might just put you to that riding test.”

She pushed a smile on her face. “I’ll be ready.”

Who was she kidding? Alexa thought bitterly as she entered the bedroom and shut the door firmly behind her. She’d not been on a horse in years. She’d not even touched a bridle or saddle or even pulled on a pair of boots since she moved away from the Chaparral.

What in heck had she been doing, telling Jonas all that stuff, acting as though she remembered how to be a cowgirl? Why had she told him such things in the first place? Why had she wanted him to know that part of her life? In Santa Fe, she’d kept that part of her past all carefully tucked away, while she tried to be a smooth, polished lady, rubbing elbows with powerful people in powerful places.

Dear God, she’d believed she’d matured into an intelligent woman, one wise enough to make good, practical choices for herself. But all that careful planning and the cautious approach she’d taken with Barry had been for naught. Now she was afraid to trust any man. And even more afraid to trust herself.