Читать книгу Sweet On Peggy - Stella MacLean - Страница 11
ОглавлениеDR. BRANDON FOCUSED on her right breast, the spot Peggy described. He did a physical exam, probing the area. It didn’t hurt anymore, which was a huge relief. Maybe the spot had hurt because she’d been wearing a new push-up bra. She was really embarrassed that she had to show him her breast. Yeah, she knew it was a physical exam that was very important, and Dr. Brandon was very professional, yet she still felt kind of strange...
“When did you last have a mammogram?”
She glanced quickly at him. “I can’t remember.”
He went to the computer and tapped a few keys. “Not since you moved here, correct?”
She tried to match his professional tone, afraid that he would say something to her about not having the test done all these years. “Correct.”
She’d thought the spot on the right side of her breast was a pimple. In fact, she had been certain. Did he think she had something else?
“I want you to go this afternoon to the X-ray department and have a mammogram done. I’ll be in touch with you as soon as I see the results of the test.”
“I don’t understand. It’s just a pimple, isn’t it?”
“Probably, but let’s be sure.”
She didn’t hear another word he said after that. He did her pap test and finished the rest of the physical examination. All the while she had only one thought on her mind. Her mother had had breast cancer years ago. As her daughter, she’d been advised to have regular mammograms but had ignored the advice. Had it been in defiance of her mother’s harping about it? Or had it simply been that she didn’t believe it could happen to her?
When the doctor finished the exam, he left her with a requisition for a mammogram and one for routine blood work. She put her clothes on, not touching her right breast that suddenly seemed to feel bigger, even painful. This couldn’t be happening. She had a good life here in Eden Harbor.
Don’t get ahead of yourself. Go get the mammogram done.
She got to the hospital and, in response to the sympathetic look from the technician, she said it was simply part of her physical. She winced when the machine compressed the tissue on the right side. She cried when she finally got home to her house.
Drying her tears, she went for a long ride on Zeus. The horse seemed to sense that she was fearful because normally he was very high-spirited. Today he was gentle and calm, giving her one of the best rides of her life. Once again she was thankful for her horses, especially Zeus.
She returned to her house in time to hear the phone ringing. Caller ID displayed Rory MacPherson’s name. When she answered, his cheerful voice was so far removed from her thoughts that at first she didn’t respond to his friendly inquiry about going for coffee.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“Yes. I’m fine,” she said, her thoughts on her doctor’s appointment.
“You don’t sound fine. Look, I’m taking my bill to Ned Tompkins for payment. I’m on my way there now. Mind if I stop by? I want to ask a favor of you.”
She didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want to see anyone. Yet the plea in his voice, the mystery of what the favor was gave her something to think about other than her doctor’s serious tones when he asked her questions during her exam. “Okay. Drop by, but only for a few minutes. I’ve work to do.”
She went to the yard when he pulled into the driveway. Somehow she didn’t want him inside her home, not when she had so much to think about. Besides, he’d be here for only a few minutes.
He smiled as he got out of his truck. “So nice to know you’re waiting for me. Thank you for a great evening. We haven’t had a chance to talk since then, but I wanted you to know how I felt.”
“I enjoyed it, too.” She couldn’t help but notice the way his cotton shirt hugged his body. His gorgeous body. The heat of her cheeks made her look away from his intense gaze. “So, what was the favor you needed?”
He tucked his cell phone into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He moved close to her. “I’ve purchased two tickets to the annual fund-raiser for the fire station. It’s a dinner and dance. Would you go with me?”
She glanced at the sheet of paper he’d handed her, reading the details hurriedly. “Next week?”
“Yeah. I know it’s short notice.” He offered a disarming smile.
She’d never gone to the fund-raiser. She hadn’t danced in years, other than in front of her mirrored closet doors. Yet she didn’t feel like going and socializing when she was so worried about the results of her mammogram. If circumstances were different... She glanced at him to see that his eyes were on her, waiting for her response. “I’m really sorry, but I can’t go.”
His smile faded. He looked away then back at her, revealing a look of surprise. Had he never been turned down before? He squinted at her. “Can I ask why not?”
Why was he looking so...so forlorn? She wasn’t the only available woman in Eden Harbor. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy your company. I do.”
“I enjoy your company, or I wouldn’t have asked you. What’s the problem?”
Most men she’d ever refused to date had always been either surly or at least disappointed. But Rory stood there, smelling of freshly washed shirts and spicy cologne. His hopeful expression made her want to change her mind, go with him and have a fun evening. “Please try to understand I’m really not—”
“If you don’t like me and don’t want to go with me, just say so.” He sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so annoyed,” he said, his eyes dark.
She felt awful. First, she really wanted to go, but how could she manage to stay upbeat and in the party mood knowing that there might be a cancer growing inside her? “What if I’m not very good company?”
His eyebrows clamped together. “What’s worrying you? Is it something I did?” he asked.
“No. Not at all. I’ve got a lot on my mind, that’s all.”
“Whatever is worrying you is not my business, unless you want to tell me.” Taking her shoulders gently in his powerful hands, he gazed down into her eyes. “I’m a good listener, if you need to talk. Or if not, it’s still okay. But look at it this way. If you decided to go, you’d get to stumble around the dance floor with me.”
“Stumble? I doubt that very much. I’ll bet you’re a good dancer.”
“Then why don’t you go with me and find out?”
Would an evening out hurt her? It might even make her feel less anxious. Even better, it could turn out to be enjoyable. Their dinner date had turned out better than she’d expected. If she didn’t go, she’d spend the evening trying to keep her worry at bay by watching reruns of some made-for-TV thriller series. “When you put it that way, how can I refuse?”
“Great! I’ll talk to you later about going to the fund-raiser.” He turned to go, stopped and turned back to face her. “And by the way, I had a really great time having dinner with you.”
“Me, too.” She watched him pull down her driveway, feeling so much better than when he arrived. Maybe the dating tide was turning in her favor. She smiled and headed to the horse barn.
* * *
THE NEXT AFTERNOON Rory had finished presenting his estimate to a new client earlier than expected. Realizing that he was only minutes from Peggy’s house, he decided he wanted to see her. Turning off the highway and heading down her road, he realized he didn’t have a clue why he was doing this.
He supposed what he really wanted was to see if she’d talk to him about what was bothering her. There was definitely something going on, and he was pretty sure it had happened after they’d been out to dinner. People would probably think he was nosy, but... He had to know what had made her look so sad and worried.
When he reached her house, he was pleased to see her out in the paddock hammering something on one of the posts. He jumped out of his truck and strode toward her. “I was just in the neighborhood.”
She turned her face up to him, a smile in her eyes as he approached. “Cut it out. You were not.”
In all his life he had never seen a woman who could make jeans and a gray-checked shirt look so sexy. Yet she seemed totally unaware of her effect on him. “So, what are you doing here? This is a dead-end street, so you’re not on your way somewhere. Did you just suddenly decide to pay a visit?”
“I came to see if I could help you.” He glanced past her at the work she was doing on the posts. “And this is right up my alley, if you need me.”
She cocked her hands on her hips. “Unsolicited repairs are free?”
“I’ll put it under ‘helping a friend.’”
She glanced from the fence rail to him. “If you insist.”
“Let’s have a look,” he said, moving closer to the fence post where she’d been working. He could see right away that the post had rotted out just above the ground, making it a wasted effort to try to reattach the fence boards. “Have you got any more of these posts?”
“Yes, I believe there are some out behind the barn. I’ll show you.”
She started to walk ahead of him, offering him a view of her behind and the way her jeans fit that made his blood run hot. “Spectacular,” he said under his breath.
“I’m sorry. What?” she asked over her shoulder.
“Nothing. I mutter when I walk,” he said, trying for humor when all he wanted to do was cup her bottom in his hands.
“Can’t imagine what sort of noise you’d make if you had to run. Yell, maybe?” she said, tossing the words over her shoulder. “Here they are.” She pointed to the pile of wooden posts against the back wall of the barn.
“Perfect.” He picked one up and started toward the paddock. “I’ll get my tools out of the truck. I’ll need a shovel if you’ve got one.”
“Coming right up.”
She was waiting for him with a large shovel and a hoe when he got what he needed from his tool locker. It was damned difficult to concentrate on fixing her fence with her standing there. Yet he managed it somehow, finishing everything up and putting things back.
He was about to head for his truck when two horses came galloping toward him, moving faster the closer they got. “Whoa!” he yelled and jumped back.
“They won’t hurt you,” she said, laughing as the two horses plowed to a stop in front of her and nudged her hands. “They’re looking for treats. I’ve got some in my pocket.”
He could have sworn there wasn’t room to put anything inside those jeans other than her body, but sure enough she pulled two carrot chunks out of the left-hand pocket and fed them to the horses. “Have you always liked horses?” he asked, waiting for his pulse to stop playing hopscotch around his chest.
“I used to ride when I was a kid. My dad would often ride with me. I’ve always loved horses.”
“Bunnies or small dogs are more my style...Don’t have either at the moment. Not allowed in the apartment building where I live.”
“Will you get a pet when you buy a house?”
“Don’t know if I’m buying a house.”
She gave him an assessing glance. “Does that mean you’re not staying here?”
“Not sure.”
He realized once the words were out of his mouth that she wasn’t pleased. She seemed to pull back. Her eyes searched the horizon. Silence stretched between them like an elastic band being pulled to the breaking point.
Finally she spoke. “How did you decide to come here? I mean, there must have been job opportunities in Bangor.”
“I came home. Sold my mom’s house and came here.” He shrugged. “Simple as that.”
“Isn’t that a little impulsive?”
He shook his head. “It’s just the way I am. I decided to go to Haiti in a matter of days.”
“Aren’t you afraid that an impulsive decision could lead to problems once you’ve had time to consider what you’ve done?”
“No. I don’t. I’ve always gone with my gut. For me, the right choice is the one I make the first time around. If I overthink a situation, I begin to doubt myself and end up making the wrong decision.”
“You mean you always make the easiest choice?”
This lady, this woman he’d become so infatuated with, didn’t believe in being even the slightest bit reckless or impulsive. “Depends on how you look at it.”
“And how do you look at it?” she said, her tone casual but the emotion behind it clear. She didn’t approve.
“Something meant to be...like when we met.”
She gave him a wry smile. “That wasn’t meant to be. That was Dr. Brandon’s order.”
“Depends on how you look at it,” he repeated.
“It was no accident that Dr. Brandon ordered blood work.”
“But you have to admit that it was an accident that brought me in to see the doctor.”
“Okay. We can agree on that much at least.” She walked beside him to his truck, turning to face him with her hands tucked into the pockets of those tight jeans of hers that made his pulse do seriously strange things. “You’ve been very kind. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“No man has been that kind to me, except my father. I loved him very much.” She rubbed her palms on the sides of her jeans, squinting up at the sky.
He stopped, surprised by her remark. This woman’s experience with men couldn’t have been all that great if fixing her fence had been such a big deal to her. “Your dad must have been pretty special. My father was the best. I miss him all the time. Mom, too, but it’s different with Dad.”
“My mother’s still alive, so I don’t know about that.”
He couldn’t keep his mind from running over the possible reasons why a woman as beautiful as Peggy Anderson had commented on how kindness was not a normal occurrence in her life. “Lucky you.”
“Not necessarily. I haven’t seen my mom in two years. Not since we had...” She rubbed her hands on her jeans. “You don’t need to hear all this.”
He reached the door of his truck aware that what he really wanted to do was to stay and learn more about this woman. He settled for taking her hand in his. “I do need to hear, if we’re going to be friends.”
“Friends?”
“Did you have more in mind?” he asked, keeping his tone light and noncommittal.
She shaded her eyes with her hand as she glanced over at the paddock. “I don’t have much of anything in mind,” she said, her voice soft, but her words offering a rebuke.
“You don’t seem to have much faith in people. Is there a reason?”
She returned her gaze to him, her expression unreadable. “What would you do if your mother had lied to you all your life?”
“Whoa! Don’t know. My mom and I were always close. Can’t imagine how that would feel.”
She turned to face him, a lost look in her eyes. “There are moments I wish I could call my mom, but too much time has passed, too many missed opportunities.”
He didn’t know what to say to her to ease the naked loneliness capturing her face. He wasn’t good at any of this sort of thing, of facing sadness or sorrow—part of why his experience in Haiti had been so difficult. Or so his therapist had said, back when he was still keeping his appointments with her.
“Tell you what. Why don’t we talk about what time I should pick you up? We both need a little cheering up, and the fire station fund-raiser sounds like fun.”
“Sure. I have to feed the horses after work, then get ready. Anytime after that.”
They agreed on a time, and he couldn’t help wishing that she’d wear the dress she’d worn when they went out to dinner the other night. He left her place, his spirits high, anticipation making him glad he’d decided to stay in Eden Harbor, at least for now.
The next evening the community center was packed with people by the time they got there. Delighted to hear that Peggy had a date for the fund-raiser, Gayle and Sherri had agreed to hold a table where the three couples could sit together. Peggy glanced around the room, immediately spotting Neill Brandon’s red hair and height above the crowd of people. “There they are,” she said, leaning into Rory so that her words could be heard over the noise of the crowd milling about.
“I’ll follow you,” he said, placing his hand in the small of her back, his fingers heated points against her cool skin. She wore the dress she’d worn to dinner, a last-minute decision, the result of getting home late because of a patient whose veins were difficult to find. The look in Rory’s eyes when he arrived to pick her up told her she’d made a good choice.
She had been looking forward to tonight since she woke up this morning; such a relief not to be thinking about her doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Although it would feel really strange to be socializing with Dr. Brandon tonight, when he had news that would either put her mind at ease or change her life. Her stomach fluttered at the thought.
They approached the group at the table together, the expression on each of their faces one of open curiosity. She forced all thoughts of tomorrow from her mind. Tonight she promised to enjoy herself. She introduced Rory. Just as they went to sit down, a woman came up to Rory and thanked him for fixing her mother’s front steps. Peggy couldn’t help but notice that the woman didn’t give anyone else at the table one moment of attention. Not even Dr. Brandon, the man everyone admired for coming home to practice medicine and marry his high school sweetheart.
Gayle leaned over to Peggy. “Is she flirting with him?” she asked.
“Yep.” Peggy sighed. “Hope the whole evening doesn’t end up this way.”
“I doubt it. I saw the look in Rory’s eyes as he escorted you over here to the table. The man’s hooked on you.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know. Open your eyes, Peggy, and see what’s right in front of you,” Gayle whispered.
What if Rory was hooked on her? Was it possible? Could someone care for her so quickly, so easily?
She really liked him, but like was a long way from love. Yet as she sat beside him, his shoulder brushing hers as he talked to the woman, she wanted Gayle’s words to be true.
Peggy’s breath caught as Rory turned his attention back to her. She met his easy smile, saw the awareness in his eyes. A wonderful feeling of intimacy warmed her, making her a little anxious about what would happen next. She regretfully realized she didn’t want any man hooked on her right now, not until she knew the outcome of her test. “Everyone at the table seems to have something to drink. Can I get you something?” he asked, leaning into her space, making her neck tingle.
“I’ll have a glass of white wine.”
“Me, too,” he said close to her ear before going to the bar.
“Who would have thought that the six of us would be here this evening?” Sherri asked, her hand resting on the table, displaying her wedding ring. It had been only a few weeks since Neill and Sherri’s wedding, and people were still talking about it. The general consensus was that it had been the social event of the year.
Adding to the excitement, Gayle and Nate were now engaged to be married. Peggy felt like Alice in wedding land. Of course, she was very happy for both her friends, even though at times she had to admit to being a little bit envious. Sherri and Neill were deep in conversation as were Nate and Gayle, leaving Peggy with time to look around at all the people at the fund-raiser. Moving here had been the biggest risk she’d ever taken, and it had paid off. She was happy here, content with her life, her job and her horses. She’d been happy to settle for all of that until she’d met Rory.
She was searching the crowd for him when he came toward her, two glasses in his hands. As he reached their table, the band began to play. Rory put the glasses down and took her hand. “This is our song.”
“Our song?” she asked as she rose. “We don’t have a song.”
He pulled her into his arms. “We do now. A nice waltz, I’m pleased to report. What is it, by the way?”
“You don’t know?”
He held her close, the powerful muscles in his arms cradling her. “I haven’t a clue. But I must say it’s perfect for what I want to do.”
“And that is?”
“Hold you while we sway to the music.” He smiled down at her. “I think it only fair to warn you that I’ve never had dance lessons. I make it up as I go.”
“Fair enough. If you make moves I can’t follow, I’ll stand on your feet and you can carry me around.”
His laugh was open and genuine. “Hang on, princess,” he said, swinging her around as he moved through the other couples on the dance floor, his body locked to hers in such a way that she couldn’t move. Besides, she didn’t want to move, to let go of him, or even to make conversation with him. Not right now. Now was the time to simply enjoy and have fun with this handsome man who was drawing looks from virtually every woman in the room.
Later she danced with Nate and again with Rory and with one of her regular patients at the phlebotomy clinic. Sherri was dancing with other men, leaving Neill Brandon to dance with whomever he chose. He hadn’t chosen her, and she couldn’t help wondering why he hadn’t. Were the results of her mammogram bad?
When the party ended, they all walked out together. Peggy had never been part of a group of couples and felt really pleased that tonight she was.
“See you at work tomorrow,” Gayle said.
“It was nice to meet all of you,” Rory said, his arm snugly around Peggy.
All the way home Peggy couldn’t shake her anxiety over tomorrow, when she would learn the test results. Tonight had been perfect, fun and exciting. But if she got a bad report, she would have to rethink any relationship hopes she had where Rory was concerned. She could not focus on a relationship if she had to face the kind of changes being diagnosed with breast cancer would mean to her life.
If she got bad news tomorrow, she was alone, without family here in Eden Harbor and would have to rely on her friends for support.
She wanted to call her mom and talk all of this over. Her mother had had breast cancer when Peggy was a preteen. She’d never really talked to her about what it had been like. In fact, she hadn’t talked to her mom ever since she’d learned that her father, Marcus Anderson, wasn’t her birth father, a lie she could not forgive her mother for perpetuating. She loved her dad, and he’d loved her very much.
“Would a penny cover it?” he asked.
“Pardon?”
“Your thoughts. You haven’t said a word since you got into the cab of my truck.”
She glanced over at him, his open smile, his dark eyes focused on hers. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”
“Not a problem,” he said, but she recognized the tone of a man who felt he’d been ignored.
As Rory pulled into her driveway, Peggy gathered her purse and her shawl preparing to leave and go into the house. Rory shut off the engine. Peggy reached for the door.
“What’s the hurry?” he asked, his voice low and sensual.
“I have to work tomorrow,” she said, opening the door and flooding the interior of the truck with soft light.
“We both do,” he said, squinting in the sudden brightness. “That doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the rest of the evening.”
“You mean we go into my house and do what?” she asked. She didn’t want to sound harsh, but she did need to be alone right now. Rory would probably not understand that, which meant he’d make his polite good-night, and she wouldn’t hear from him again.
“As I told you before, I’m a good listener if you—”
“I really have to go in. Please understand.”
He shrugged. “I get it. I read the signs wrong. You’re not interested in continuing further.”
“That’s not true! I’m sorry if you think that.”
“Then tell me what to think. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t. Not right now.” She found herself searching his face for some sense that he understood.
“So you want me to believe that you’re interested in me, but not tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Or next month. Whenever.”
She heard the rising tone of his voice, and her tummy touched her toes. She couldn’t share her worry with a stranger, and he didn’t seem to be aware that she needed privacy. Obviously, he was disappointed that she hadn’t invited him into her house. She’d read this script before. Another time. Another place. Another man. “I want to go in and go to bed. I have a lot riding on tomorrow, and I need to be ready to face it. If you cannot accept that, then—”
He leaned across the console, placed his large hand firmly behind her head, drew her face to his and kissed her. A simple kiss that claimed her. She reached up to touch his face, to feel the faint stubble on his cheeks, the pulse along his chin line. He gently blocked her hand with his. Then ever so quietly he ended the kiss, nearly driving her wild with need.
“I believe I’ve made my point. Have a good night. Dream of me if you like,” he said, a light teasing tone back in his voice. He touched his forehead to hers, and suddenly she wished he could come in. She wished she wasn’t so anxious about her health, her life, about so many things. A sharp pang of regret tightened her throat, making words impossible. He was being so kind, so very much the man she’d imagined she’d meet one day.
“We’ll continue this at a later date,” he whispered, planting another kiss on the end of her nose.
As her heart pounded and her thoughts scrambled, she clambered out the door of the truck toward her house. She’d wanted to stay right there with him, to let him kiss her until they had no choice but to move to her bedroom. She wanted it but she couldn’t have it. Not tonight, and maybe not for a very long time.
He was everything she wanted and everything she couldn’t afford emotionally. Not when so much of her life would revolve around what the doctor had to say.
Yanking off her clothes, she climbed under her duvet and curled up into a ball. She’d never felt so alone in her life. All of it her doing, but still every bit as painful.
