Читать книгу Bringing Emma Home - Stella MacLean - Страница 14

CHAPTER FOUR

THEY PACKED A few things and started out of town just as the sun began to warm the air. Grace couldn’t help but feel anxious. As much as she wanted to support Aidan and Emma, she was still in shock over what had occurred in such a short time. Doubt and betrayal continued to circle her thoughts, refusing to leave regardless of how she tried to think of God’s will.

She felt suspended, dislocated, since the lawyer had called. The news that Aidan would now be responsible for his daughter didn’t seem to be real, despite her earlier hope. “How are we going to make this all work?” she asked.

“To be honest, I’m still trying to figure out why Deidre didn’t tell me.”

“Maybe she never intended that you find out.”

“But why? All those meetings we held to discuss the operational issues of her company back five years ago, I thought I knew her. At least a little bit. I never pictured her as someone who would hide such important information from anyone, let alone me.”

“What do you mean by that?” Grace asked, feeling uneasy.

He glanced over at her. “I mean that she seemed so upright, so honest and caring. I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“How can you call her upright and honest? She went to bed with another woman’s husband. How can you defend that behavior?”

“Sorry that didn’t come out the way I intended. I meant in relation to her work.”

His supportive words for this woman were disconcerting. She searched for something to focus on as her stomach rose into her throat. “Did you make a reservation for us for tonight?”

“No. I didn’t think of it. But we can do that easily when we get there.”

Aidan drove carefully through the city streets toward the highway leading out of town toward Spartanburg. “Grace, I have been so busy building up my company, making plans for us, for when we have a family, that I didn’t take in what it would really mean to have a child in our lives. But now that this little girl needs us, it’s as if we’re being given a chance to have what we always dreamed of. I want to be there for her.”

A part of her didn’t really care how he felt, but she tried to sound interested if only to keep the conversation going. “You have a lot to think about if you’re going to give her a good home, so much planning needs to be done.”

He squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”

He sighed and smiled at her, making her heart do a funny flip-flop in her chest. She wanted to go home, to pretend none of this was happening, to go back to the way things had been before that first phone call from Larry Knowles.

“It’s just that there is so much to think about—”

He squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Stop worrying. We’ll figure it all out together. We’ll see how Emma is doing when we get to the house. The nanny will be there and probably a couple of Deidre’s closest friends.”

“Do you know where Deidre lives... I mean, lived?” Grace asked, wondering how he would have known if he hadn’t seen her since the end of the affair over five years ago. “She might have moved since you were last here.”

He gripped the wheel, his eyes skirting hers. “Mr. Knowles told me she lived in the same house as when I knew her.”

Reality crashed down on Grace, billowing around her like an unwanted mist. Memories of those lonely nights when she’d waited for Aidan to come home, to make love to her, praying that this time there would be a baby for them. Believing his absence meant he was building a future for their family.

She had awoken this morning hoping it was all a terrible dream, not real. Just before the pain rushed her, reminding her of the loss of trust, the ache of knowing her husband had slept with another woman.

She believed in marriage, had been raised in a home where vows of any kind were taken seriously, and none more than the marriage vow. She wanted to take him back and put her whole heart into forgetting the past. They had married right out of college and had had their share of disagreements like any couple, but never something like this.

Her hurt, her soul-deep wounds prevented her from forgetting anything. And she doubted they would allow her to forgive.

There were so many questions and so few answers. Why had Deidre chosen not to tell Aidan about Emma when she was alive? Wouldn’t she have wanted her daughter to be close to her dad and his family? Why had she left everything to Aidan on the condition that he accept Emma into his life and become her dad?

Grace couldn’t imagine any woman who would have behaved that way. She certainly wouldn’t have. She would have insisted that the child’s father share in the responsibility for caring for and raising it. She would want her daughter to have all the love and support possible, regardless of how she felt about the father. So how could Deidre not be in touch with Aidan and still expect him to step in as parent?

None of this made any sense...

“Grace, honey, time to wake up,” Aidan said softly.

“What?” she asked, suddenly awake. After not sleeping for days, the smooth motion of the car had lulled her to sleep. Sitting up straight, she glanced out the window at the quiet boulevard basking in the midmorning sun. “Should I put Deidre’s address into the GPS?”

“No. We’re only a few minutes away from her house.”

It was humiliating to realize that her husband had been to Deidre’s home. Had they made love in her bedroom? Grace’s stomach sank, pressing into her backbone. Of course they had. They wouldn’t have needed to hide out in a hotel room to carry on their affair when Deidre’s home was available and waiting.

Grace closed her eyes, trying to resist the image of her husband and Deidre making love in the home she was about to enter. A sharp ache close to her heart made her grit her teeth. She couldn’t wait to get away from the place. The ache of betrayal reminded her of what had gone on without her knowing. “We...we need a reservation for tonight.”

“I’ll look after that once we’ve seen Emma. I’m worried about how she’ll react to us appearing in her life right now...” He turned right onto a tree-lined street, weaving through the many twists and turns of a roadway designed to slow traffic around homes whose gabled entrances, brick exteriors and long, elegant windows spoke of wealth and prestige.

Grace shrank into the seat, suddenly wishing she hadn’t come with Aidan. She didn’t want to see this house, this place where her husband had made love to another woman—a woman he hadn’t admitted having a fling with until circumstances forced him to do so. The car slowed as Aidan pulled into a driveway surrounded by a hedge that protected the house from the street, the massive gardens sweeping toward the entrance, flashing bright red and yellow flowers of all sizes and shapes. Following the curve of the driveway, they stopped in front of a massive dark wood door.

“We’re here,” Aidan said, turning off the engine. “Are you okay?” he asked, turning to her his eyes filled with concern. “I realize that this isn’t easy for you,” he murmured, taking her hand in his and kissing her fingers. “If you’d rather, I can go in first, if it would make it easier for you...”

Her heart hammered against her rib cage. Could she go in there? Could she face a little girl who was about to be part of their life? If they stayed married, of course.

She glanced around, hoping to see other vehicles along the circular drive. There weren’t any. It had been several weeks since Deidre’s passing, and yet Grace had expected to see evidence that people were still coming to check on a little girl who had lost her mommy. Where were all this woman’s friends? Or didn’t she have any?

The tragic way Deidre had died should have meant that her friends were taking turns caring for her daughter. She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure I can do this. Go into the house where you slept with another woman. It’s not fair.”

“It’s all right if you can’t. You’ve come this far with me, more than I expected or deserved.”

At least he acknowledged her perspective. No, she couldn’t go inside. Yet...she was drawn to see this little girl, this child who was dealing with so much. “Let’s get this over. Maybe the nanny isn’t home. Maybe she took Emma to friends’ or to the library,” Grace said, the knot in her stomach hardening.

Without a word, Aidan came around to her door, opened it and took her hand in that reassuring way of his. Suddenly she felt faint. “I’m not sure I can do this, Aidan.”

He squeezed her fingers. “You can. I’m right here if you need me.” He took her hand and led her to the imposing front door, his fingers pressing the doorbell as his eyes held hers. “This will all be okay. I promise you. We’ll be okay.”

The door opened and a tall woman with dark hair and penetrating brown eyes greeted them. “You must be Aidan Fellowes. I recognize you from the photo. Come on in,” she offered, leading the way into the formal living room to the right of the entrance hall.

“I am, and this is my wife, Grace,” Aidan said, his arm coming around Grace’s shoulders.

The woman’s expression was one of kindness. “I’m Emma’s nanny, Lisa Gomez. I’ve cared for Emma since she was born.”

She pointed to the sofa opposite the fireplace. “I’m aware of Deidre’s intentions concerning Emma, and I want you to know I approve of them. A child should be with her father in a situation like this. Emma has a lovely photo of you, Mr. Fellowes.”

Grace sat on the edge of the sofa her mind reeling. A photo of Aidan? She turned to Lisa. “You have a photo of my husband. Why?”

Lisa glanced quizzically at Aidan before she answered. “He is Emma’s father. Deidre wanted Emma to be able to recognize her father. Deidre’s company worked closely with his company, and I’m sure they stayed in touch through work, although she never said as much.”

Lisa raised her eyebrows, her gaze resting on Grace’s face, a look of understanding dawning on her face. “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Fellowes. I don’t know why, but I thought Aidan was single when he and Deidre met...”

Aidan had sworn he hadn’t been involved in Deidre’s business after the affair. He’d claimed Lucas looked after anything Deidre’s company needed. Was that the truth? Had her husband been here since that weekend? Was she the only one who didn’t know what was going on? Had Aidan and Lucas both hidden the truth from her? Lucas wouldn’t do that, of that she was certain.

Tears burned Grace’s eyes. She fought to regain her equilibrium, deciding to say nothing more to this woman. Her hands clammy, her breath coming in short gasps, she struggled to stay in this room and listen to what was being said. Her eyes sought the door. Her body tensed as she placed her feet firmly on the floor in front of her. “Could I see the photo of my husband?”

“That’s not necessary,” Aidan said.

“I’d like to see the photo of my husband,” she said, suspicion writhing through her at Aidan’s objection.

Lisa left the room and came back a few minutes later, holding the framed photo out to Grace. “Deidre wanted Emma to understand that she had a dad who didn’t live with them. Deidre wanted her to see what her dad looked like.”

Grace searched the photo for clues as to where it had been taken...a park somewhere. She didn’t recognize the photo or the place, but the smile on Aidan’s face was playful and open. How could he have been looking that way if their relationship was a quick hookup, a fling, as he’d described it? And why had they been in a park she didn’t recognize? “I thought you had no role in Emma’s life, that you knew nothing about her until the lawyer called,” she said, seething.