Читать книгу To Protect Her Son - Stella MacLean - Страница 9
ОглавлениеIF GAYLE SAWYER could have foreseen the day ahead she would never have gotten out of bed. She and Adam, her thirteen-year-old son, had argued last night and again this morning, leaving her drained and frightened.
Her eyes gritty from lack of sleep, she stared across the raised counter at her friend Sherri Lawson, nurse in charge of today’s clinic at Eagle Mountain Medical Center. Neill Brandon would be there any minute, and Gayle had pulled the clinic charts for his patients, who sat with their families in the waiting area just a few feet from the desk.
Everything was ready. Gayle glanced one more time at her watch as worry gnawed at her mind. She should have handled the argument with Adam differently last night. After all, she was the adult and should be able to reason with her son.
“Just one more.” Sherri passed Gayle another chart, a square-cut diamond gleaming on her finger.
Gayle couldn’t take her eyes off the ring. “Some people are born lucky,” she teased her best friend.
Sherri touched her diamond. “Can you believe it? After everything that has happened, Neill and I have our dream back. We’ve waited a long time for our happiness.” A smile lit her face; her eyes shone as she leaned on the counter.
Gayle had stopped dreaming about being happy fourteen years ago in Anaheim, California, when the judge had sentenced her husband, Harry Young, for armed robbery and shooting a police officer.
Pregnant and alone, she’d vowed never to let her dreams mask reality. She’d worked so hard to make her son’s childhood a happy one, and to find a respectable life for herself. Nothing could be allowed to take all that she’d earned by dint of hard work and determination away from her.
“Dreams can be wonderful,” she offered, unwilling to share the details of her past with anyone here in Eden Harbor. Her aunt Susan had died a year ago and left her a quaint Victorian house on a tree-lined street in this quiet, stately town. Gayle had moved, partly for the chance at a new life, and partly to get her son away from a group of teenagers that were having far too much influence in his life. She was happy to leave Anaheim. She never intended to return to the place that had caused her so much sorrow.
“I’ve never been this happy,” Sherri said, a look of wonderment on her face.
Gayle had never seen anyone as much in love as her best friend. “Your wedding plans are coming together so well. I still can’t believe we found those bridesmaid dresses in the first wedding boutique we went into in Boston.”
The doors connecting the clinics to the rest of the hospital banged open. Her son, Adam, his dark hair smudging his forehead, his eyes angry, approached the desk where Gayle sat. The scent of shampoo and of the boy he still was swirled around her as he leaned over the desk. “Mom. You left this morning without giving me any money. I need money.”
Embarrassed that Adam’s loud voice had attracted the glances of the people in the waiting room, she came around the desk, her eyes pleading with him to quiet down.
“What do you need it for?” she asked, even though she knew. Adam had started playing video games, and he was always after her to pay for yet another game. They’d argued about it this morning, and now he had come into her workplace.
“I promised to buy a game from a friend. He’s waiting for me to pay up. You know all this, Mom.”
She’d encouraged him to play video games, but not because she approved of them. In her mind they were the lesser of two evils—video games or surfing the internet. She had a very powerful reason for not wanting him online—his father. “We talked about this last night. I don’t have the money. And besides, you just got a new one...”
“Where’s your purse?” Adam glanced behind the desk. “There, right there.” He pointed to Gayle’s purse, which was still sitting under her desk. She hadn’t put it in her locker yet because she needed to pay her share for a staff shower gift for Sherri. One of the patients had knit a beautiful pale green throw for Sherri and Neill. “I don’t have any money...”
“Yes, you do. I saw it last night.”
“Adam! What were you doing going through my purse? You know better than that.”
“I didn’t have a choice, did I?” Adam snorted. “You can go to the bank. I need cash now.” Adam came around the desk, reached down, grabbed her purse, yanked it open and pulled out her wallet.
“Adam! Don’t!”
“I need it, Mom.” He opened the section where the bills were. “You promised.”
“No, I didn’t. Put that money back,” she said, mortified that everyone in the room could hear her son’s demands.
Adam counted the bills. “There’s more than enough here.”
Suddenly Sherri was standing next to Gayle. “Adam, why are you embarrassing your mother this way? She said she doesn’t have the money right now.”
Gayle reached for her wallet, pulled it gently from Adam’s fingers and placed it back in her purse, speaking softly as she did so. “Please go, Adam. I promise we’ll talk about this again tonight before dinner.”
“Not good enough,” Adam muttered, his eyes glistening, his expression one of anger and disappointment. “I want that game. I promised to buy it from my friend.”
“You should have talked to me first.”
“I did—last night.”
“And what did I say?”
“The same old thing—I should mow lawns and pay for my own games.”
She wanted the world for her son, but she also wanted him to know how important it was to make his own way in life. “And my answer hasn’t changed.”
Adam shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes focused on some spot behind her. “Why do you have to be so mean?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Gayle saw Dr. Brandon come through the doors. “Adam, the clinic is about to start. You have to go.”
“You don’t even care about me,” Adam said, his voice rising as he glanced around the room.
“I love you,” she whispered emphatically.
Gayle knew only too well how easily Adam could escalate an argument from a raised voice to yelling—so like his father. She took his arm, gently leading him toward the door. Once out in the hall, she turned to him. “Adam, those people in there are important to me, to us. This is my job and I can’t afford to lose it.”
She wanted to hold her son in her arms the way she used to do when he was upset. She settled for touching his hand. “I know you’re going through a difficult time right now, and I want to help you. But you won’t be able to come back here if you act like this.”
Adam could not continue this way, and she could not move again. Recognizing that what she was about to say would anger her son, she chose her words carefully. “If you keep this up, I’m going to have to get professional help for you.”
“Mom, I... Why don’t you understand? All I need is a few dollars.” He was quieter now, his head down, the fingers of his right hand viciously attacking a hangnail.
Gayle knew this wasn’t just about money. Her son felt angry and frustrated most of the time. Yet when he wasn’t angry, he was the Adam she’d loved and cared for these past thirteen years—a kind, bright, wonderful young man. She softened her tone, seeking to let her son know that she loved him more than anything in this world. “Go back to the house, and I’ll be there right after my shift. We’ll work this out, I promise.”
He jutted his lower jaw, the resentment in his eyes fading to acquiescence. He gave a long, exaggerated sigh as he turned and went down the hall.
Sherri came up behind her, standing beside her as she anxiously watched her son leave. “Gayle, I’m so sorry. You’ve told me a little bit about the change in Adam’s behavior, but this is the first time I’ve seen it for myself.”
“Not as sorry as I am.” She sighed, the old feelings of inadequacy engulfing her.
“I’m not trying to interfere here, but I’ve got a suggestion that might help.”
“I’m running out of ideas, so all suggestions gratefully accepted.”
Except for talking to Sherri, she’d kept her concerns about Adam to herself, hoping that it was just part of being a teenager. But she couldn’t have him showing up at her workplace behaving the way he had today. She wanted to confide the whole story to someone, and Sherri was a good listener.
When she’d come to Eden Harbor and the house her aunt Susan had left her, she worried about how Adam would react. It quickly became apparent her concerns were unfounded. He’d been great. He’d gotten a part-time job cutting grass in the neighborhood for his spending money. He had become more helpful around the house, much to Gayle’s relief. But in the past couple of weeks, Adam had had to be cajoled into mowing lawns. When he was around the house, he seemed distant, quicker to anger, resentful at times and harder to talk to. In fact, the old rapport they’d shared had almost disappeared. Until this moment, Gayle had let it pass.
“Would it help if he had someone to talk to?” Sherri asked. “Someone who related well to teenage boys?”
Gayle’s biggest fear was that her son would get involved with the wrong crowd and turn out like his father. Harry probably had been a normal teenager who’d got in with a bad crowd, and now spent every day inside prison walls. She couldn’t let that happen to Adam. “It might make a difference. I honestly don’t know.”
“There is a mentoring program in Eden Harbor for troubled teens. Would you consider something like that?”
That could be good, but not if it meant there would be questions about Adam’s father. No one here knew anything about Harry, and she didn’t want that to change. The world they lived in now—a pleasant world with so much potential—was far removed from their life in Anaheim. If Sherri could help her find someone to offer a positive male influence in Adam’s life...
“I’d have to think about it, maybe learn a little more before I decide.”
“We need someone we can trust to be firm with Adam, right?”
Gayle loved the fact that her best friend had used we. She’d never had a confidante like Sherri Lawson, soon to be Sherri Brandon in a wedding everyone was looking forward to. The bright spot in Gayle’s life these days was that she would be part of the bridal party.
Gayle gave a wry smile as the two of them headed back to the clinic desk.
“What he needs is a father figure in his life, the one thing I can’t provide unless the mailman suddenly turns into my Prince Charming. He’s the only male I see on a regular basis.”
Sherri stopped, a look of satisfaction on her face. “I’ve got the perfect solution to your problem. My cousin, Nate Garrison, would be a great mentor for Adam. I don’t believe you’ve met him. He was at Peggy Anderson’s birthday party down at Rigby’s Bar on the waterfront a few weeks ago. I remember you were intent on getting to know the new guy from respiratory therapy.”
“Only to discover that he already had a girlfriend. I should have stayed with you at the bar and gotten a chance to meet your cousin. But as I remember it, you weren’t there very long.”
“Yeah, Neill and I had an argument and I left.” Sherri touched her engagement ring again. “So glad that’s all over...” Another smile slid across her face. Her friend was always smiling these days, and Gayle couldn’t help but wish she could be as happy.
“You haven’t met Nate because he’s been really busy since he started working as a community liaison officer, part of community policing. His specialty is working with troubled teenagers, and he’d be the perfect person to help Adam.”
Could it be that something positive was about to come out of one of the most embarrassing moments of her life? “I didn’t want to bother you with my problems where Adam is concerned. But now...” She shrugged.
“Why don’t you let me see what I can do?” Sherri offered, warmth and caring evident in her voice. “I know this sounds like bragging, but Nate is a wonderful man, a little overprotective at times, but no wonder. He was on duty in Boston and got shot in the leg while investigating a robbery.”
The officer was shot in the thigh and bone fragments nicked the femoral artery. The emergency response team who rushed to the scene was responsible for saving Officer Perry’s life.
Gayle would never forget those words screaming across the front page of the Orange County Register, or the naked fear she’d survived for weeks as she’d waited, expecting to be arrested any moment. Her anxiety as she watched the apartment door that day for Harry to return, praying that it hadn’t been him. That he couldn’t have shot an officer of the law. But he had, even bragged about it, and threatened to beat her and kick her out if she told anyone.
Harry needn’t have worried. What he’d done that day, and what she’d done in the months following, would forever be her secret. “Are you sure about this?” she asked Sherri.
“Why not? You said yourself that you’re worried about Adam. Let me help you. Nate’s a professional and knows what he’s doing. He’s helped lots of kids over the past six years since he returned from Boston.”
Boston or Anaheim. It didn’t matter. Gayle would never be able to erase the memories of those months after the shooting, the fear and self-loathing. She hadn’t been honest when the police officers had come in search of information. She’d been too afraid of what Harry would do if he found out she’d been talking to the police.
All she’d ever wanted from the day she’d escaped her parents’ world of drugs and arguments was a place where she could feel safe. A defiant teenager, she’d run off with Harry Young, a dangerous con man who’d promised to look after her. Now, fourteen years later, she still wanted to be safe. Only now she also wanted to be free from the fear that someday she would have to face her ex-husband.
Gayle closed her eyes, a second’s respite from the cold reality of her past. “It might work.”
“Well, while you’re thinking about it, why don’t you come over to the house for a barbecue? The weather’s lovely. Neill has done a fantastic job putting a new deck on the back of the house, and we can talk wedding talk.” She smiled in encouragement. “Remember how much help you were to me when I was going through that awful time with Neill? Let me return the favor. You need to forget your worries for a while. And we need to pick out the flowers for the ceremony. I’ll talk to Nate when I get the chance, and we’ll find a way to make it happen. You can trust me.”
Gayle wasn’t good at trusting anyone. Not even her best friend. Yet an evening out would help her gain perspective, and allow her to share in Sherri’s happiness. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”
“Then leave it with me. I’ll talk to Neill and get back to you.”
* * *
LATER THAT WEEK, as the sun’s light began to create long silhouettes along the tree line, broken only by the roof of the old barn at the back of Neill’s house, Gayle found herself sitting with Sherri and her fiancé on the new deck.
She had to agree with Sherri that the deck Neill had built on the back of the old house made a wonderful space for relaxing after a long day at work.
“Neill and I love this property, and plan to live here for a very long time,” Sherri said. A salt-tinged breeze moved through the pines behind the barn, creating a sighing sound that enhanced the gentle quiet of the evening.
Gayle looked at her two friends, and couldn’t stop the envy rising through her. All her life she’d wanted to be married to a man who truly loved her, and to live in a lovely old home looking out on the water. But what Gayle wanted had never been anyone’s priority, not even her own. It was a stroke of luck and fate that had given her the charming Victorian house she now owned in downtown Eden Harbor. Simply a case of her being the last remaining relative of someone she’d never even met.
All of that aside, she was delighted to be having dinner at Dr. Brandon’s home, and even more thrilled that Sherri had chosen her over all her other friends to be her maid of honor. Gayle felt blessed to see what her life had become. The only down note was Adam’s recent change in behavior.
“Would anyone like more wine?” Neill asked, holding up the bottle of chardonnay.
Gayle’s head was already feeling light. “No, thank you. Not me,” she said, placing her hand gently over the top of her glass. She wasn’t much of a drinker and had never taken drugs after growing up in the chaos of her mother and stepfather’s house.
Sherri shook her head. “One glass does it for me. I need to check my blood sugar now that I’ve eaten to be sure it’s okay.”
Gayle remembered the day Sherri had ended up in Emergency after going into diabetic shock, and how afraid everyone had been. In the end it had proved to be what Sherri and Neill needed to get their priorities straight and realize how much they loved each other. It was the first time Gayle had ever seen the powerful impact love could have someone’s life. She was sure that other people understood that power, but she didn’t.
“Why don’t I carry some things into the house for you?” Gayle asked.
Neill pushed back his chair. “That sounds great. While you ladies do your thing in the kitchen, I’ll put the barbecue away. Later, we can all sit here and enjoy the evening light...and talk.”
Gayle followed Sherri into the kitchen, placing the dishes on the counter while Sherri loaded the dishwasher. When Sherri reached for her meter to check her blood sugar, Gayle glanced around the huge kitchen. She had only been inside the house once before when she had come to pick Sherri up to go to a movie. She was completely in awe of the kitchen’s beautiful wood cabinets, and panoramic view of the back gardens.
“Did you get a new table and chairs?” she asked, realizing she hadn’t seen the wooden table surrounded by four wooden chairs with navy-blue-and-white cushions before.
“It’s new. The set Neill brought from Boston when he moved back home was all glass and wrought iron, not really a good match for the interior of this house. But he’d wanted his daughter, Morgan, to have as many things from her old life as possible, even though he’d disliked the modern set virtually from the day his ex bought it.”
“Did you and Neill choose this together?”
“We did. Our first purchase for our home.” Sherri smiled, her eyes alight with enthusiasm. “I have never been so excited in my life. After everything we’ve been through, all those years of misunderstanding and being apart from each other, marrying the wrong people, will finally be behind us in less than two months.”
Gayle hugged her friend. “You will be so gorgeous in that antique lace wedding dress. Being with you when you picked it out was a really special moment for me.” She wanted to tell her friend that she’d never been a part of anybody’s wedding before, but divulging any details of her past would lead to questions she couldn’t risk answering.
“And you and Morgan in your green dresses... Morgan is so pleased to be part of the wedding party. She’s talked about it for hours on end. Her favorite thing is that she got to pick out the color. And I’m so glad Neill’s best friend from medical school, Mark Leighton, can be a groomsman along with Nate.”
“Are we going to go over the flower choices tonight? And what about the reception? Have you chosen flowers for the tables yet?” Gayle pointed to the florist’s three-ring binder on the counter next to the phone.
Sherri sighed, her gaze turning anxious. “Let’s sit down. I need to talk to you about something first.”
Gayle tried to block her anxiety. Had Sherri been pressured into making someone else her maid of honor, someone who had a longer history of friendship with her than Gayle? “Sure. Go ahead,” she said, forcing her tone to be upbeat.
“Please don’t feel I’m prying into your life, but I need to ask you if anything has changed where Adam is concerned since he came into the clinic the other morning.”
Gayle forced her shoulders into a shrug and smiled gamely. “He’s been home the past two nights well before his curfew. We came to an agreement over the game he wants to buy. I loaned him the money, and he’ll pay me back when he mows lawns this weekend.”
“How’s he doing in school?”
Gayle had spent hours convincing Adam to do his homework this week. She’d made two trips back to the school to get materials he needed to complete his assignments, two of which she’d discovered were overdue. “Adam isn’t much of a student at the best of times.”
“What else is going on with him? Does he tell you where he’s been when he’s late?”
Gayle didn’t want to talk about Adam and spoil her only social outing in weeks. “Adam seems to be doing a little better.”
Sherri sighed. “I’m glad to hear that. What about the next time he stays out too late, or makes a scene at your work?”
Obviously her friend wasn’t going to let this go. “I know you think he needs help, but I need a little time to convince Adam to go along with seeing a counselor,” she said. That wasn’t the complete truth. She hadn’t broached the subject with her son yet. How she wished she could tell Sherri about her sordid past, about Harry, about her lies. But she was afraid of what her friend would think.
If she told anyone about her past, her present life would be over. Her son didn’t know the truth about his father, and couldn’t be told under any circumstances. And now that Gayle had all the things she needed so desperately in her life, she had to keep her past to herself.
Moving to Eden Harbor on the coast of Maine, a continent away, had provided her with enough distance to restart her life. After her divorce, she’d changed back to her maiden name, and she’d left her past behind. She would not let anything stop her now.
One thing she was certain of—telling Sherri about her past would end their friendship. Sherri had shared so much with Gayle. She’d told her the full story of her past with Neill, and all the heartache she’d survived because of him, her miscarriage, her ill-fated marriage to another man, her return to Eden Harbor, all of it. Close friends shared their lives with one another. Should Sherri learn that Gayle’s fictional life back in California wasn’t true, she would be hurt, and the trust between them destroyed.
“Why don’t you give Nate a chance to help Adam? He is so good with teenagers. He’d be perfect.”
“How can you be so sure? Besides, he must have a full case load already.”
Sherri gave her a smug grin. “Doesn’t matter. Nate won’t say no to me. So what do you say?”
“Tell me more about him,” Gayle asked, realizing too late that she didn’t want to hear about the shooting of another police officer. She didn’t want to learn firsthand how a family as nice as Sherri’s had lived through Nate’s injuries. It would only serve to remind her of another family that had been devastated by the shots fired from Harry’s weapon.
Sherri grinned with pride. “Nate is the white knight in the family, always riding to the rescue whenever any of his cousins are in trouble. He’s been a rock that we’ve all leaned on at one time or another. Right now he’s helping out his sister, Anna Barker. She’s a single mom with two boys.”
Gayle knew Anna from the single-parents group she’d joined when she first moved to Eden Harbor. She really liked her, looked forward to the meetings. She considered Anna her closest friend after Sherri. “Anna’s a member of my single-parents group. We always try to sit together at the meetings. I had no idea...”
“Yeah, she’s Nate’s current project, now that he doesn’t have to look out for me. Anna told me the other day he’s beginning to hover. She was only teasing, of course. We’re all so lucky to have him.” Sherri chuckled. “I don’t know what Anna would do without him. I’m surprised she never mentioned him to you.”
“We mostly talk about our kids at the meeting. The couple of times we’ve gone out to coffee it’s been to discuss work and that sort of thing.”
“Well, ask her the next time you see her, and she’ll tell you what it’s like when Nate takes an interest in your welfare.” Sherri led the way to the kitchen table, cups of coffee in hand, and they slid into chairs opposite each other. “So what about it?”
“About what?” Gayle asked, stalling for time. She didn’t want to turn down her friend’s offer of support. She didn’t want anything to jeopardize her relationship with Sherri. She was looking forward to the wedding, to being part of her friend’s happiness. She’d never been to a wedding in her entire life, let alone a member of the wedding party. She loved the green dress with the tight bodice and scooped neckline, the full-length skirt that hugged her body past her knees before flaring out at the bottom. She felt so sexy in it.
Uncertainty filled her heart and mind. How was she going to turn down Sherri’s offer to have her cousin help Adam without Sherri feeling hurt? On one hand, she was well aware that Adam could benefit from the help of a professional. On the other, she didn’t want that help coming from someone so closely linked to Sherri and Anna. “I’m... Are you sure Nate would be willing to help? Have you asked him already?”
“No, of course not. I wanted to talk to you first.” Sherri glanced at her anxiously. “Gayle, are you all right?”
“I’m...fine.” She rubbed her sweaty palms together, and glanced at her watch. “But I really should get home. I promised Adam we’d watch a movie together tonight, part of my plan to get to the bottom of what’s going on with him.”
“That sounds good. We can talk about the wedding flowers another time.”
“Oh! Sorry! I forgot we were doing that this evening. I’ll call Adam and let him know I won’t be home for a while.”
Sherri’s smile was reassuring. “No. Don’t do that. The flowers will be really easy to decide. I’ve pretty well made up my mind about what kind I want. All I need you to do is help me pick out the actual arrangements from the florist’s book.”
Gayle said her goodbyes and headed to her car. She had to stop worrying about something that would never happen. She’d spent too much time worrying about the past. Getting help for Adam was all that mattered.
