Читать книгу The Cowboy's Twin Surprise - Stephanie Dees - Страница 17

Devin scratched his head, his mind trying to make sense of what he’d just seen. Could Lacey really be expecting? Twins?

He glanced at her stomach, but it didn’t look any different to him from how it always had. Maybe a little rounder. He studied her face. Maybe it was a little fuller? Her long dark hair curled past her shoulders, framing a peaches-and-cream complexion.

She was so beautiful. Always had been.

And in that second he imagined her holding two babies. Their babies. A tsunami of longing washed over him. It was a dream that seemed so far out of reach for someone like him.

He picked the photo up again. Sure enough, her name was written at the top of the image. Lacey Cole. Seeing it in print was a punch to the gut.

Lacey really was pregnant.

Devin scrubbed his hands over his face. He remembered waking up in Vegas and seeing Lacey lying in his bed. Realizing that, with one monumentally horrible decision in a string of really bad decisions, he’d managed to mess up the one thing he still really cared about.

That moment had changed his life.

Her eyes fluttered open and slowly focused. Devin saw the instant she remembered what happened. She tried to sit up, arms flailing, pupils dilating in panic.

He grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to focus on him. “Lacey, you’re at Triple Creek Ranch.”

When she looked confused, he said, “You brought Reggie home and you told me you want a divorce.”

Her voice was a little hoarse and husky when she said, “Well, at least we got that out of the way.”

The corner of his mouth twitched up. The bone-deep fear faded a little bit, but he was left with so many questions and no answers to speak of. “Seems like a pretty good call. I mean, honestly, what were you thinking, marrying someone like me in the first place?”

Hurt flared in her eyes, but she blinked it away. Tension still vibrated in her muscles, but she’d stopped trying to get away from him. “Clearly, I wasn’t thinking at all. Did you call anyone?”

He shook his head, knowing immediately what she wanted to know. “No EMTs. I know the rules. No hospital unless you’re gushing blood from an artery or some other equally dire circumstance.”

Her shoulders relaxed under his fingers and she let out the breath she’d been holding. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He dropped his hands, clenching his fingers slowly into fists. He wanted to grab the ultrasound photo, shove it in her face and demand she talk to him. Is this yours?

Are they mine?

Instead, he uncoiled his fingers one by one until he felt in control again. “You gave us a scare. Are you feeling okay?”

Well, that was a dumb question. Of course she wasn’t feeling okay. She’d just passed out in his front yard.

He was saved by a knock at the door. He jumped to his feet and nearly fell over as his stupid ankle gave out on him. Lacey didn’t say anything but he could feel her curiosity as he hobbled to the door.

Ash Sheehan entered the room with an old-fashioned black doctor’s satchel. He shook Devin’s hand and crossed immediately to the couch. “I’m Dr. Sheehan. Garrett called me.”

“I’m Lacey...Jenkins.” Her eyes cut to Devin but quickly flitted back to the doctor, who didn’t look anything like the octogenarian Devin had been expecting to see at the door. “Thank you for coming.”

“Most of the time I see patients under the age of eighteen, so you’ll have to be patient with me.” Ash pulled a blood pressure cuff out of his bag and smiled, his blue eyes warming on Lacey’s.

He looked like something out of a fashion ad. Devin wanted to punch him in the face.

Wrapping the cuff around her arm and tucking the stethoscope earpieces into his ears, Ash said, “So Garrett told me on the phone that you fainted a little while ago. Is this the first time something like this has happened?”

Lacey’s gaze drifted to Devin again. He sighed. “I’ll just be in the kitchen.”

He glanced at his cane, leaning on the coffee table. He wanted more than anything to ignore it and stride into the kitchen like a man who wasn’t hanging on to ninety-four days of sobriety minute by minute.

Lacey deserved better. But Devin owed it to her—and himself—not to hide anymore.

* * *

Lacey watched Devin limp into the kitchen, leaning heavily on a cane. She knew he’d shattered his ankle. Everyone knew that. It had happened on live TV. But he hadn’t been using a cane the last time she’d seen him. He’d only been slightly favoring one ankle, if at all.

He’d seemed so shocked when she said she wanted a divorce. And suddenly she’d felt cold and hot and her head was spinning and she’d wondered for the first time if he even remembered they got married.

She wondered the same thing now. He hadn’t seemed high that weekend in Vegas, but once she heard from mutual friends that he’d spent a month in rehab, she’d started to understand just how good he’d become at hiding it.

Well, whether he remembered their wedding or not, he’d left her without a word. That was the part she’d found unbearable. And now? It wasn’t just her own heart she had to protect.

Dr. Sheehan pulled the earpieces of his stethoscope out of his ears and unstrapped her arm from the blood pressure cuff. “So I assume from your reaction earlier that this isn’t the first time you’ve passed out?”

She sighed, her hand creeping to her stomach. “No. It’s happened a couple of other times but it’s been a few weeks. I thought it had passed.”

“Your blood pressure’s pretty low. Any history of that being an issue?”

She glanced at the kitchen and lowered her voice. “Only since I’ve been pregnant. I’m fourteen weeks pregnant with twins.”

“Congratulations.” The handsome doctor smiled. “I have a new baby myself. So, Garrett said you just drove in from Oklahoma? You were obviously sitting a lot on the trip. Did you sleep?”

She looked away. “A little, here and there.”

“Okay.” The doctor coiled his stethoscope around his palm and placed it back in his bag. “Are you having any pain?”

“Mild cramps. My OB in Oklahoma said it was normal, especially with twins.”

Dr. Sheehan nodded. “It can be. Anything else going on? Fever? Any other aches and pains?”

She shook her head.

“I think between the low blood pressure, the demands on your body of early pregnancy and your long trip, you’ve just hit your limit. I also think you should see an obstetrician as soon as possible.”

“When I get home, I promise I’ll see my regular doctor and then I’ll put my feet up for the next six months.”

“Yeah, about that...” He didn’t smile, which was her first inkling that she wasn’t going to like what he had to say. “My medical advice would be not to plan to go anywhere for a while. You’re carrying twins, which makes this a higher-risk pregnancy. If you were my wife or sister, I’d suggest you plan to stay here for at least a month, for your sake and the health of the babies. I’ll refer you to an OB in Mobile and you can get a thorough workup before you try to make that trip cross-country again.”

His face was kind as he shattered her plans, so at least there was that. Her eyes filled with tears anyway. “Thanks, Dr. Sheehan.”

“Please call me Ash. This wasn’t an official visit, just a favor for a friend.” His eyes crinkled as he smiled. “If you decide to stick around for a few weeks, you should meet my wife, Jordan. She doesn’t ride at your level, but horses and kids are kind of her passion.”

“I’d love to.” She swung her feet around to the floor as Dr. Sheehan made his way to the front door, the quick movement making her head swim again. She rested her forehead on her hand.

“I’ll call tomorrow with the name of a doctor. In the meantime, take it easy.”

“I will.”

As the door closed behind the doctor, Devin appeared in the kitchen door with a glass of water. He crossed the room and handed it to her. “All good?”

“Yeah, he said I probably passed out because I was overwhelmed by the sight of the three fine-looking Cole brothers.”

“Ha-ha, you’re hilarious. What did he really say?”

Lacey took a deep breath. She’d wanted to gauge how things were with Devin before she had this conversation with him, but it looked like it wasn’t going to happen on her timetable. “Can we take a walk? I’ve been sitting for days.”

“Sure, if you feel up to it. I’d like to go out and see Reggie anyway.” He held his hand out to her and, after a moment’s hesitation, she slid her fingers into it, trying not to think about the way his skin warmed to hers and how right it seemed to link her hand with his.

He felt strong as he pulled her to her feet, and when she looked into his eyes, she realized how clear they were, how focused and steady. She hadn’t seen him like that in a long time. It made her hopeful, a feeling she didn’t have the luxury of allowing herself, not anymore. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“Me, too.” He opened the door for her, and she walked through it, taking a deep breath of the fresh country air.

Devin put his free hand in the small of her back, and she shifted away from him. They walked in silence for a few seconds as she looked around the property. “It’s really beautiful here with the pastures and the fields. It’s not exactly what I expected, but I like it.”

“Yeah. The place looked pretty run-down when I got home a couple of months ago. Apparently, there have been some cash flow problems. Tanner’s doing everything he can to shift gears and make it profitable again. It’s just taking some time.”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“Maybe, or maybe I just didn’t listen. I’m not sure which. Not sure it matters, really. It’s easy for me to say now that I’d have come if I’d known, but the truth is, I probably wouldn’t have.”

“You should cut yourself a little slack, Devin. You love your brother. You love this ranch. That hasn’t changed.”

“Not as much as I should have. I’m not selling myself short, but I have to be honest with myself. It’s one of the pillars of recovery. Hi, my name’s Devin and I’m an addict.”

Hearing him say it so matter-of-factly was shocking. She’d known that he had the tendency to indulge a little too much and party a little too hard, but she hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten until she’d seen the difference in him today.

He stopped by the fence to the pasture and whistled. Reggie lifted his head from the grass but he didn’t move. Devin leaned his cane on the wood rail, dug a couple of carrot pieces out of his pocket and held them out. Reggie’s nostrils flared and he took a few hesitant steps toward Devin and stalled, giving his owner the side-eye.

Lacey smothered a smile. Devin’s horse seemed almost as mad at him as she was. She clicked her tongue. “C’mere, Reggie.”

The big horse ambled to the fence and nudged Lacey’s hand so she would scratch behind his ears. She obliged, murmuring to him that he was a good boy.

After getting his scratch from Lacey, Reggie gently nuzzled the carrot pieces from Devin’s hand before shoving his nose into Devin’s hair.

Devin laughed, his eyes lighting as he ran a hand down Reggie’s neck. “I missed you, you crazy horse.”

Lacey looked away. She wanted to remember the Devin who left her alone in a hotel room in Vegas. To remember the anger that fueled her as she drove from Oklahoma to Alabama. She couldn’t afford to get distracted.

She came here to get him to sign divorce papers. And that was exactly what she was going to do.

* * *

Devin glanced at Lacey, who was leaning on the fence, her chin on her arms.

“I’m so sorry, Lacey.” The words were out before Devin knew he was going to say them.

Her eyebrows shot to her hairline. “For what, exactly?”

“There are so many things to apologize for, I’m not sure where to start. But I think I should start with not taking responsibility that morning in Vegas. And not having enough guts to apologize face-to-face and depending on my horse to get the job done.”

“Is that what leaving Reggie with me was about? An apology?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.” His face went warm and he turned his head away from her too-knowing eyes, focusing on some trees in the distance. The tops were blowing in the late-afternoon breeze, the leaves flipping to reveal the silver underside.

A storm was coming, which seemed a fitting metaphor for the changes raining down on him if Lacey’s babies were his. “I didn’t know what to say to you. That morning, all I could think was that I’d finally done it. I’d done the thing that would finally drive you away, too.”

“You mean, telling me you’d loved me for years and you wanted to marry me, so much that you couldn’t wait another day?” There was an edge of bitterness to her tone, and he didn’t blame her.

Because he felt like a total jerk, he pulled his ninety-day chip from the pocket of his jeans and held it in his fist, so he could remember that who he was now was not who he was then. He was a person who owned up to his responsibility. He was a person who found his strength in a higher power.

He was a person who told the truth, no matter how hard it was. “I was high that whole weekend. I don’t have any memory of getting married. I don’t remember anything about the weekend until I woke up in the bed and you were there.”

Angry tears glittered on the edge of her lashes. “It was all a lie?”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “That morning—I was ashamed, knowing I’d done something so huge and couldn’t remember. I let you down. There’s nothing I can say to make that better.”

When she looked back at him, her dark eyes were inscrutable. “I want a divorce. I mean it, Devin.”

He let the words hang in the air for a minute. They shouldn’t hurt, but somehow that didn’t stop the sting. “I’d do just about anything for you, Lace, but I need some time to think about it.”

“Why?” He could hear the exasperation in her voice as she paced away from him down the fence line. “You said yourself you don’t even remember getting married. You sure don’t remember why.”

Devin had hoped she would tell him about her pregnancy, tell him about the babies, but since she didn’t, he would have to press the point. It was too important not to. “I have two very good reasons to take my time making a decision about it.”

She whirled around. “What do you mean?”

His fist was clenched so tightly around his NA coin, he could feel it slicing into his skin. “I saw the ultrasound photo. I know about the babies.”

“I see.” Anger sparked in Lacey’s eyes. “So, what, you think that gives you the right to dictate what I do?”

He walked closer to her and reached for her hand. She snatched it back. He sighed. “I think we don’t have to figure everything out today.”

She visibly took a deep breath. “I came here to tell you about them. To tell you that I’m prepared to raise them on my own. You made it pretty clear when you disappeared that you weren’t interested in a long-term relationship.”

One of the tenets of recovery was that you didn’t make any huge life changes in the first year. In the space of one afternoon, he’d blown that to smithereens. “Give me a chance, Lace, please?”

Lacey rubbed her forehead. “Look, when I get checked into a hotel, I’ll text you my contact info and maybe we can talk tomorrow.”

“The nearest hotel is forty minutes away.” Devin paused. “But we have plenty of room, if you want to stay. Tanner and I sleep upstairs. You can have the master bedroom downstairs.”

Lacey hesitated, hanging back as Devin started for the house. When he turned back to look for her, she sighed. “Fine. I’ll stay, but just until we get things figured out.”

He grinned and she held up a hand. “To be clear, my staying doesn’t change things. I’m still mad and I still want a divorce.”

At least she was talking to him, so that was something, right? Devin spread his free hand wide. “I hear you.”

He hadn’t let himself think about what it meant yet, that they had babies on the way, and he knew they had a lot of talking to do. But he wasn’t walking away. He’d done that and it hadn’t gone so well.

This time, he was sticking around, no matter what that meant.