Читать книгу Karma Kameleon - Stephanie Haefner - Страница 5

Chapter 1

“Rich, I’m pregnant.”

The last time I’d said those exact words to him, it had led to our breakup and my entrance to a dark and dreary pit of misery. This time, instead of a dumbfounded, confused expression, a huge grin formed on Rich’s face and he kissed me. We laughed and he told me how happy he was and how much he loved me.

“This is perfect.” He lay next to me on our bed and combed his hand through my hair. He found his way to the edge of my t-shirt–one of his I wore as a night gown. He lifted it and rubbed his hand across my stomach, then leaned down and kissed it. “Only one thing would make it better.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“You saying ‘yes’. Marry me, Lexi.”

My heart leapt into my throat and a chaotic flutter of butterflies on speed swirled through my stomach. I stared at Rich, his adoring eyes staring back at me. Was this for real? I’d never been proposed to before.

“Really? Are you sure? You don’t have to marry me just ’cause you knocked me up.”

His brow furrowed as his lips bowed in a half smile. “You’re kinda ruining this moment.” He reached into the nightstand drawer next to him. The black velvet box opened with a pop and inside sat a princess cut diamond ring–not a small one, either. “I’ve been trying to find the perfect time for weeks now.”

My eyes immediately teared. How could I have doubted his sincerity?

“Will you marry me?” he asked again.

My body shook and I nodded.

“Is that a ‘yes’?”

“Yes,” I screamed and tackled him, covering his face with kisses.

“Wait,” he managed between smooches. “I want to make it official.”

“Didn’t we just do that?”

“Not yet.” Rich plucked the sparkly gem from its box. He slid it onto my left ring finger and I did what all newly engaged women do. I flexed my wrist and held my arm straight, admiring my hand and its brilliant adornment.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“I love it!” And truly meant it. The square stone appeared flawless, at least a carat and a half, maybe more. I couldn’t have picked a more perfect setting myself–simple and elegant platinum, nothing fru-fru about it.

“I know it’s not as big as Abby’s.”

“Uh, there’s no need for it to be.” I didn’t care one bit what my sister had. “And besides, I’m sure your penis is way bigger than Daniel’s anyway.”

“What?”

“Everybody knows big fat diamond rings are to make up for tiny dicks. Trust me–you have no need whatsoever to buy me a big diamond.”

I placed my lips back on his and my hands made their way to his boxers. Rich slipped a hand under my shirt in preparation of removing it.

Thud. Followed by high-pitched wailing.

Rich and I pulled apart. What the heck was that? Before my feet hit the hardwood, Marcus’s voice was on the other side of the door.

“Sorry guys. Preston got away from me.”

“It’s okay. Bring him in,” I yelled, still hearing my little man’s cries.

Marcus pushed the door open slowly and as soon as Preston’s teary eyes met mine, he smiled and reached his arms to me.

“He’s getting fast,” Marcus said. “I turned around to pick up some toys and he crawled off down the hallway. I think he crashed head first into your door.”

Marcus placed my pajama-clad baby in my arms, though I couldn’t call him a baby anymore. It had been almost a year since his birth and it seemed like he grew an inch a day. I’d always heard people go on about how fast time flies, but had never realized how true it was until I had my own child.

“Should we tell him?” Rich asked, gazing at Preston. I nodded.

“Guess what, my precious boy? Daddy Rich is gonna make an honest woman of me. See?” I wiggled my fingers at him.

He pointed at the diamond and giggled. He had no clue what it meant or how huge a deal it was, but I liked to pretend he did and was happy.

“Wow. Congrats.” Marcus smiled and shook Rich’s hand, then gave me a hug. “I’m really happy for you.”

“There’s more.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” I said and turned back to my son. “Preston, you’re gonna be a big brother.”

“What was that I heard?” Kevin barged in.

“Yep, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my God,” Kevin shrieked and skipped over to us. “This is the best news ever!” He plopped onto the bed and pulled Rich, Preston and me into a hug.

“We’re getting married, too,” Rich added, and Kevin dove in for another hug, shooting me with wedding questions.

“Come on.” Marcus playfully yanked Kevin toward the door. “You want us to get Preston out of here so you can, you know, celebrate?”

I looked to Rich, his blue eyes telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. We’d do our celebrating later. I turned back the other half of my new-age family–Marcus in his striped cotton pants and t-shirt, Kevin in silky red pj’s. “No. Let’s get dressed and celebrate together.”

* * * *

I checked my cell after having it off an entire day–a family brunch with Marcus, Kevin and Preston, then a romantic night with Rich, including a stay at the Luxury Inn and Suites for nostalgia’s sake. Rich no longer worked for his Uncle Walt full-time, but filled in when he needed someone. He’d worked there even after graduating from NYU, his administrative assistant’s job at Big Apple Records not quite paying enough to survive on. But with the step up to promoter, he’d been able to leave the hotel clerk job.

“You have fifteen new messages.” A robotic female voice spoke into my ear as we climbed into a cab. What the hell? Can’t I be left alone for one day?

“First message…Hey, Lexi! It’s Amanda. I got your text and I’m so excited for you guys. Congrats! Call me later.”

“Next message…Lexi, dear, it’s Mom. I’m putting together a dinner to celebrate your engagement. Oh, this is so wonderful–another wedding to plan! I’ve already talked with Pastor John and he’s ecstatic. He gave me a list of dates the church is available next summer. We can’t do May–that’s Abigail and Daniel’s wedding anniversary. June would be perfect. July and August are too hot–you know how the heat affects your father’s hyperhidrosis. So we should book this as soon as possible. Hate to have your heart set on a date and then–”

“Next message… It’s Mom again. Geez, they don’t give you much time to talk before cutting you off. But anyway, Pastor said many dates next summer are already booked, so we need to pick one soon so you get your first choice. And we need to book the florist and the band, too. Call me when you get this.”

I’d been an engaged woman barely twenty-four hours and already the drama had begun.

“Next message… Lexi, it’s Sheila. I need your last copy edit for Mama Drama ASAP, and we need to go over the schedule for the local book tour. We’re trying to book you in a couple other cities–Buffalo, Toronto, maybe Philly. Call me.”

I shut the phone off and rested my head on Rich’s shoulder with a sigh, not caring about the other messages.

“The real world beckons.” He kissed my forehead. “I checked my messages, too. One day away and shit’s falling apart at work.”

“My mother’s already planning our wedding extravaganza.”

He laughed. “Honestly, I couldn’t care less about the details. I just want to marry you. We could go to City Hall right now for all I care.”

“Don’t tempt me.” I snuggled into him tight, loving that he was just like me. “But don’t you want to see me in a gorgeous gown and shove cake in my face?”

“We don’t need a big fancy wedding to do that. I’d be happy with something small and intimate, the people who matter.”

“If I can wrestle my mom into submission, I’ll make it happen.”

The cab pulled up in front of the building where I’d been sharing an apartment with Marcus and Kevin for over a year. Rich had moved in right after Preston’s birth, and aside from the usual family spats, it had been complete bliss. Every woman should be as lucky–three men to cater to her every need.

The first few months of motherhood had been–for lack of a less profane phrase–pretty damn fucked up. As if cracked, bleeding nipples weren’t enough, throw in nights of minuscule sleep, shit explosions–the baby’s, not mine–and uncontrollable crying fits–mine, not the baby’s. And through it all, my guys were there. Marcus, the tough-as-nails lawyer and my BFF-slash- baby daddy, had morphed into a fluff of bright pink cotton candy when he became a dad. His live-in lover and life partner, Kevin, became the brother I never had, or even knew I wanted.

And then there was Rich, the man I loved and wanted to spend my life with. Our relationship until Preston’s birth had been pretty rocky. But once we’d sorted through our feelings, we couldn’t live without each other.

Okay, cue the harp music and toss some rose petals over our heads. I know–so not like me.

But never in my life had I found a man who cared for me–not my breasts, my tight ass, or my immeasurable talent for giving head. He did like those attributes, of course, but we had fun together and genuinely wanted the best for each other.

Rich and I held hands and stepped into the apartment amid chaos. Preston screamed, and crawled to the living room wearing nothing. Kevin ran after him, soaked from head to toe. Marcus appeared with a bloodied washcloth held to his nose.

So much for relaxing a bit longer.

“What the hell is going on here?” I picked Preston up and held him close.

“We were giving him a bath, and well, he whacked Marcus in the nose with his tugboat. Then he started splashing me.”

All of a sudden, my brand new Diane von Furstenberg maxi sundress got really warm…and wet.

“Son of a bitch.” I held Preston away from me by the armpits, pee still trickling from his little fireman’s hose.

“Let me have him.” Rich took him to the nursery while I headed to the bedroom to change. When I came back to the kitchen, Kevin was cleaning Marcus’s face of all traces of blood. After a final wipe, he kissed him on the nose and the two smiled at each other.

I found Rich in the living room with Preston on the couch, an episode of Sesame Street on the flat screen. Peace had been restored.