Читать книгу The Historical Collection - Stephanie Laurens - Страница 24

Penny closed her eyes in defeat. What a perfect encapsulation of her life. Betrayed by a parrot.

“What …” Emma tipped her head to the side. “What did that bird say?”

Alex wrinkled her nose in thought. “Fancy a cuppa?”

“No.” Chase shook his head. “That’s not it.”

“Fancier fawn glove,” Nicola suggested.

“Wrong again,” Chase said.

“Well what else could it be?” Emma asked.

“‘Fuck,’” Ash declared, exasperated. “It said ‘fuck.’ F-U-C-K, fuck. ‘Fancy a fuck, love.’ That’s what it said.”

Chase tutted. “Really, Ash. Which Shakespearean play would that word be in?”

“That would be in Shut the Hell Up, Reynaud: A Tragedy in One Act.”

Delilah ruffled her wings. “Fancy a fuck, love? Fancy a fuck, love? Ooh! Yes! Ooh! Pretty girl.”

Ash and Chase turned murderous glares in Gabriel’s direction.

“We’re taking this outside,” Chase said. “Now.”

“Wait.” Penny darted in front of Gabriel, shielding him. “It’s not what you think. Delilah didn’t learn any of that from us.”

“You said she belonged to a little old lady,” Emma said.

“A little old lady who lived in a brothel.” Penny put a hand to her brow, realizing she might have coined the worst nursery rhyme ever. “Not that any of this matters.”

“That’s enough, all of you.” Gabriel’s touch grazed the small of her back as he moved to the center of the group. “We weren’t off cavorting in the countryside. Even if we were, it would be none of your damned business.”

The forceful way he advocated for her made Penny’s heart swell.

“Her Ladyship wants to remain in London, in this house. Everyone here wants the same. Once her aunt and brother are convinced to let her stay, you’ll have the added pleasure of being rid of me. We only have a fortnight. So instead of standing around reciting Shakespeare and interrogating a whorehouse parrot, I strongly suggest you offer to help.”

“He’s right,” Nicola said. “We should make a plan.”

“Finally.” Gabriel threw up his hands. “At least one of you sees sense.”

“I mainly wish to see you leave,” she retorted. To the rest of the group, she said, “We should start with the animals.”

“Hubert’s on to happier waters,” Penny said. “Bixby and Freya stay. Surely I’m allowed to keep a dog, and Freya doesn’t trouble anyone.”

Gabriel counted on his fingers. “That leaves Delilah, the kittens, Marigold and Angus, then Regan, Goneril, and Cordelia.”

Penny was touched. He knew them all by name? Be still her heart.

“Chase, Alexandra … I was hoping you might take Delilah,” Penny said. “Don’t Daisy and Rosamund still enjoy playing pirates? You can’t be a pirate without a parrot on your shoulder.”

“If it were any other parrot, I’d happily agree,” Chase said. “But that parrot? We’ll have a baby in the house soon enough, and the girls are terrors as it is.”

“I know, I know. Her vocabulary needs some reforming. I’m working on that. Will you consider it, assuming I succeed?”

“I’m certain the girls would be delighted,” Alex said. “Even if Chase isn’t.”

“Our summer estate is only some ten miles from Town.” Emma sent her husband a meaningful look. “It’s lovely country. Plenty of pasture.”

Ash grumbled. “Very well. I’ll take the cow.”

“He’s a steer,” Gabriel corrected. “And the goat goes with him.”

“Fine. I’ll take the goat, too.”

“As long as you’re doing that much, you may as well take the hens.”

“For the love of—”

“We’d be happy to take the hens,” Emma interjected.

“That leaves the kittens,” Penny said, “and I can find homes for them. Kittens are something I understand. Society, on the other hand? That’s the difficult part. I can’t go anywhere without a gown, can I?”

“I’ve already made the patterns,” Emma said. “But there’s still a great deal to be done. Selecting silks, lace, ribbons. New slippers and gloves.”

“Not to mention, I don’t receive many invitations.”

“Neither do we, I’m afraid,” Emma said.

“I don’t even bother to open the post,” Nicola put in.

“I’d be glad to offer my services as a chaperone,” said Chase. “But with Alexandra in her confinement …”

“You can’t,” Penny rushed to say. “You need to stay near home. I’d never ask it. We’ll think of something. Or someone.”

They turned to the only “someone” remaining in the room.

“Don’t look at me,” Gabriel said. “No one in Mayfair wants me at their parties, and Her Ladyship can’t be seen in public with the Duke of Ruin.”

“I might have an idea,” Chase said. “One of the clubs is sponsoring a fete tomorrow. It’s at a pleasure garden in Southwark. Dancing, supper, fireworks. It doesn’t require an invitation or a new gown, and with a bit of planning, even the Duke of Ruin can escort you without causing a scandal.”

“That sounds ideal,” Penny said.

“It sounds impossible,” Gabriel retorted. “There’s no event safe enough for that. Not one that would make the society column.”

“I assure you, there is.” A slow grin spread across Chase’s face. “But you’re not going to like it.”

Gabe hated to admit it, but Chase was right.

He didn’t like this one bit.

He stood with Penny at the edge of the garden, watching the throngs of masked lords and ladies float by, contemplating a subject that rarely occupied his mind: medieval history.

“How the devil did England win a single Crusade? I can’t even walk in this. Or see, or eat, or drink.” He fumbled with the visor of the helmet until it finally flipped up. “And this codpiece is much too small.”

“Do stop complaining. It’s not so bad.”

“Easy for you to say. Your ballocks aren’t dangling between two plates of metal.” The armor creaked as he shifted from one foot to another—carefully.

A liveried manservant strolled in their direction, bearing a tray of crystal flutes. “Champagne?”

Gabe eagerly accepted. So eagerly, in fact, that he forgot the restrictions of his current attire. With one swipe of his plate-metal gauntlet, he cleared the tray, sending the crystal flutes to the ground and drenching the servant in champagne.

Brilliant.

As the servant walked away, Gabe filled his stifling helmet with profanity.

“You insisted you needed a true disguise—one that covered your face. This was the best we could do on such short notice. Be grateful that Ash loaned it to you. He did us a favor.”

“Some favor,” he muttered. “I don’t suppose His Grace is going to do me the favor of holding my prick when I need to piss.”

After that incident with the champagne glasses, Gabe wouldn’t attempt it on his life. Perhaps a drink wasn’t a good idea.

She gave him a teasing look. “If it helps at all, you do look rather gallant.”

It helped a bit. A tiny bit.

“You may be uncomfortable now,” she said. “But I’m the one bound for an eternity in perdition. Wearing my mourning attire to a masquerade? The last time I wore this gown, it was for my Uncle Jeremiah’s funeral. He’ll probably haunt me. Hairy ears and all.”

With great effort, he swiveled his torso to look at her. She was dressed as a cat, naturally. A sinuous, alluring black cat. A pair of pointed ears perched atop her slicked-back golden hair. She’d tipped her eyes and the snub of her nose with charcoal, adding thin whiskers across her cheeks. And affixed to the back of her gown was a slinky black tail that waved and beckoned when she walked.

His codpiece was definitely too small.

He lowered the helmet’s visor again.

A small orchestra gathered on a shell-shaped dais and began tuning their instruments.

“You should dance,” he told her.

“I don’t want to dance.”

“I don’t want to be wearing a metal codpiece, but here I am. This had better be worth it.”

She was silent. “How can I dance when no one has asked me?”

“How can anyone ask you when you’ve installed yourself in the shrubbery? You’re being a wallflower.”

“No, I’m not. There aren’t any walls.”

“A shrubflower, then.”

“You know, clanking at me isn’t helping.”

Gabe thought of asking what would help, but there seemed little point. Whatever it was, he wouldn’t be able to do it. He couldn’t introduce her to anyone in this crowd of elites, couldn’t make her feel confident when he had no idea what he was doing. And he damned well couldn’t ask her to dance.

Even in a suit of shining armor, he wasn’t fit to be her hero.

“I would do this for you if I could,” he said. “But I can’t.”

“I know.”

”You won’t convince your aunt you’re circulating in society if you spend the night hiding in the bushes.”

“I’m frustrated with myself, believe me. A masquerade is supposed to be a chance to put on a different face, isn’t it? An opportunity to be someone else for a few hours. Yet I can’t seem to manage it. I’m still me, beneath the mask.”

“I know what you mean.” Gabe was still himself beneath the armor, too. An interloper among the aristocrats. Unwelcome. Inadequate. “We are who we are, I suppose.”

“We are who we are,” she agreed.

Gabe despised the defeated note in her voice. He liked who she was, beneath the mask. And when he was in her company, he almost liked who he was, too. The idea that anyone would overlook her made him vaguely furious.

“You don’t have to dance.” He gestured clumsily with a metal-plated arm. “Strike up a conversation with someone. Anyone.”

“I do see someone I know.” She lifted on tiptoe and craned her neck. “That man over there. He’s a distant cousin.”

“The one dressed as a Russian prince?”

“The one who actually is a Russian prince.”

Of course he was. As if Gabe needed one more reminder of the vast gulf between their stations. “Go on, then.”

She hesitated.

He creaked sideways, moving closer. “The hedgehog was ages ago. Everyone will have forgotten it.”

She tensed. “I’m not so certain.”

“Why, Lady Penelope Campion. Is that truly you?”

Penny winced. Of all the people she could bump into at her first true social foray in years, it would be the Irving twins.

“My dear Lady Penelope.” Thomasina took Penny’s hands in hers and squeezed. “How long has it been?”

Not long enough.

Tansy and Thomasina Irving had been the bane of her life at finishing school. Unlike some of the other girls, they were never cruel outright—they would never risk making an enemy of an earl’s daughter. However, they never missed an opportunity to needle her, and since there were two of them, they pricked from both sides.

Tonight, they were dressed as peacocks. They each wore a gown of shimmering teal-blue satin, with matching gloves and slippers. Fan-shaped arrays of peacock feathers sprouted from their posteriors.

“Why, we haven’t seen you since your debut at—” Tansy conferred with her sister. “Almack’s, wasn’t it?”

“I can’t say I recall,” Thomasina answered blithely. Falsely. “It doesn’t matter. What’s wonderful is that you’re here now.”

Penny knew they were baiting her, and she felt helpless to challenge them. With Gabriel, she could be tart and witty, but with these girls she was straight back to her sixteenth summer. All the old feelings rose to the fore. Not because these girls were to blame for the humiliation at her debut, but she couldn’t uncouple them from that time in her life. The years when she’d tried so hard to be good, to be quiet, to curl herself into a tight, impenetrable ball and go unnoticed.

Instead of going unnoticed, she’d made herself a spectacle, mowing down the crowd at Almack’s.

“Won’t you introduce us to your friend?” Thomasina swept an unsubtly flirtatious glance up Gabriel’s armored figure. “What a fine figure you must strike at the Round Table.”

“At any table.” Tansy giggled.

Penny seethed. “It wouldn’t be a masquerade if I gave him away, now would it?”

“I suppose we’ll have to tease it out of him,” Thomasina said. Was it Penny’s imagination, or did her gaze linger on his codpiece?

Get your eyes off him, you vulture.

She chastened herself for entertaining a thought so mean. It was unkind to vultures.

“But you should be dancing, Lady Penelope,” Tansy said. “Our brother is here. I’m certain he’d stand up with you.”

“That’s kind of you, but I don’t wish to dance this evening.”

“What a shame.” Thomasina smiled. “How is that hedgehog of yours? Not still with us, I suppose.”

“Actually, she is. Going on ten years now.”

“By now, I’d wager she’s in good company. You must have a houseful of dear little waifs.”

Tansy latched on to her sister’s arm. “Oh, Tommy. Remember the frog?”

As the sisters laughed, Penny wanted to inch backward until she disappeared into the shrubbery.

“What a sweet thing you were,” said Thomasina. “Always so fond of God’s lesser creatures. What’s the latest beast in your collection, I wonder?”

“Me.” Metal clanged as Gabriel flipped the helmet’s visor. “I’m her latest beast.”

The Irving sisters choked on their laughter, then swallowed it hard.

He took a clanking step forward, towering over them. “Let me tell you, Lady Penelope has her hands full. I’m vicious. Untamed. I won’t come to heel.” He leaned forward, lowering his voice to a growl. “And I bite.”

He turned, and—confronted with the wall of hedges—stormed through it like the Ottomans breaching the walls of Tyre. Once he’d cleared a path with his armored body, he extended a gauntlet, inviting Penny to follow.

She put her gloved hand in his shining one.

Rather than leading her through, he pulled her to him, slid his hand to her backside, and lifted her off her feet, keeping her slippers free of the trampled shrubs.

Her beast in shining armor.

As he carried her through the hedge, she waved farewell to the bug-eyed Irving sisters. “It’s been lovely seeing you.”

Once he’d toted her a short distance from the pleasure garden, he set her down. After several moments of increasingly comic difficulty, he yanked the helmet off his head and chucked it aside with a curse.

Penny went to retrieve the helmet.

“Leave it,” he said.

“It belongs to Ash.”

“Exactly.”

His face was the red-purple shade of beets, and his dark hair stood up at wild angles. In the darkness, he looked every bit as wild and dangerous as he’d just professed to be.

Penny took his face in her hands and gave him a firm kiss on the lips. “Thank you. That was magnificent.”

“It was stupid. If rumors reach your aunt—or worse, the society column …”

She helped him remove his gauntlet. “We can’t do anything about that tonight.”

“I knew this was a mistake. I can’t abide this society shite.”

“The Irving twins have always been obnoxious.”

“It’s not only them. It’s all of it.” He stared at the scene of torches and merriment. “This is why I despise the aristocracy. The only way they survive is by holding themselves above the rest of the world. And it’s not enough for them to sneer at the poor, or to abuse the working class. They have to turn on their own, as well. They’d mock you just because you don’t like to waltz and you keep a pet hedgehog.”

“You laughed at the hedgehog,” she reminded him. “Understandably so. It’s amusing.”

“It’s an amusing story. It’s not who you are.” He unbuckled a shin plate and shunted it to the ground with such force it bounced off the turf. “You’re worth a thousand of any lady there.”

“Let’s leave, get you into some proper attire, and find ourselves some dinner.” She stroked her fingertips over his brow. “I can tell from the pulsing vein in your forehead, you’re hungry.”

“I’m always hungry.”

“My only regret is that we’ll miss the fireworks.”

“You want fireworks?” He cocked his eyebrow. “I can give you fireworks.”

Well, then. Penny could scarcely wait.