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17th March 1189

Now I’m working for an earl, I thought I’d better catch up with what’s been happening to the Royal Family.

The story so far:

King Henry, the Godfather of the Plantagenet clan^*, owns the largest kingdom in Europe, stretching from the Scottish borders to the Pyrenees. However, his power-mad sons want a piece of the action. Henry puts his boys on ice and gives them some castles to play with, but locks up his scheming wife Eleanor.

King Henry enters merger talks with the French King Philip Augustus, but his sons fall out. Henry joins John in a boardroom battle against Richard, but then they all get together to fight a hostile takeover bid by King Philip.

Meanwhile, over in the Holy Land^**, the Muslims, under their leader Saladin, capture Jerusalem. King Philip, King Henry and Prince Richard patch up their differences and decide to go on a Crusade to recapture the Holy City.

But bitter rivalries surface again. Before they set off, Richard and Philip attack Henry. Wheeler-dealer John also moves in as the vultures gather.

Henry is forced to name Richard as his successor and dies in a very bad mood at Chinon on 6th July 1189.

This week’s episode:

Richard – King of England!

Honestly, these soap operas – they’re getting far too silly. Nothing like this happens in real life!^***

^* Henry II’s father, Geoffrey, earned the nickname Plantagenet by wearing a sprig of broom in his cap. In Latin, broom was called planta genista. Geddit?

^** Land that today includes parts of Syria, the Lebanon, Palestine, Jordan and Israel.

^*** Yes it did!