Читать книгу My Appetite for Destruction: Sex & Drugs & Guns ‘N’ Roses - Steven Adler - Страница 40

I want to say this right now about my mother. I have never hated or loved a person as much as I’ve hated and loved my mom. I have never put another human being through the torture and abuse that I’ve heaped on my mom. I have never hurt or disappointed anyone on this earth as much as I’ve devastated Deanna Adler.

And yet I have never experienced anyone with a bigger heart or a more immense capacity to forgive than my mother. To this day we have our conflicts, and I continue to harbor a hatred for her that is all out of proportion with reason. And yet I’ve never depended on anyone or loved anyone so deeply. Deanna Adler has come through for me again and again and again.

My mom has said, “I love Steven, but I don’t like him.” And I believe I’ve given her no choice in that matter. I’m not a good son, and I’m not always a good brother, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give it another shot.

That day I called, my mom took a bigger chance on me than she ever had before. She sure didn’t have to. She had peace in her home. She had a loving husband in Mel and a sweet joyful son in Jamie. She had a happy home and a stable, decent life. And yet she risked it all for me. Although she knew it would upset him and probably lead to a bitter argument, she talked to Mel about me. It had been several years since I had been kicked out, and I was hoping time had softened some of the harsher memories. Using what I can only imagine was a lot of pleading and love, she convinced my dad I deserved one more chance to be back in their home.