Читать книгу The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Стивен Кови - Страница 40

THREE KINDS OF ASSETS

Basically, there are three kinds of assets: physical, financial, and human. Let’s look at each one in turn.

A few years ago, I purchased a physical asset—a power lawnmower. I used it over and over again without doing anything to maintain it. The mower worked well for two seasons, but then it began to break down. When I tried to revive it with service and sharpening, I discovered the engine had lost over half its original power capacity. It was essentially worthless.

Had I invested in PC—in preserving and maintaining the asset—I would still be enjoying its P—the mowed lawn. As it was, I had to spend far more time and money replacing the mower than I ever would have spent, had I maintained it. It simply wasn’t effective.

In our quest for short-term returns, or results, we often ruin a prized physical asset—a car, a computer, a washer or dryer, even our body or our environment. Keeping P and PC in balance makes a tremendous difference in the effective use of physical assets.

It also powerfully impacts the effective use of financial assets. How often do people confuse principal with interest? Have you ever invaded principal to increase your standard of living, to get more golden eggs? The decreasing principal has decreasing power to produce interest or income. And the dwindling capital becomes smaller and smaller until it no longer supplies even basic needs.

Our most important financial asset is our own capacity to earn. If we don’t continually invest in improving our own PC, we severely limit our options. We’re locked into our present situation, running scared of our corporation or our boss’s opinion of us, economically dependent and defensive. Again, it simply isn’t effective.

In the human area, the P/PC Balance is equally fundamental, but even more important, because people control physical and financial assets.

When two people in a marriage are more concerned about getting the golden eggs, the benefits, than they are in preserving the relationship that makes them possible, they often become insensitive and inconsiderate, neglecting the little kindnesses and courtesies so important to a deep relationship. They begin to use control levers to manipulate each other, to focus on their own needs, to justify their own position and look for evidence to show the wrongness of the other person. The love, the richness, the softness and spontaneity begin to deteriorate. The goose gets sicker day by day.

And what about a parent’s relationship with a child? When children are little, they are very dependent, very vulnerable. It becomes so easy to neglect the PC work—the training, the communicating, the relating, the listening. It’s easy to take advantage, to manipulate, to get what you want the way you want it—right now! You’re bigger, you’re smarter, and you’re right! So why not just tell them what to do? If necessary, yell at them, intimidate them, insist on your way.

Or you can indulge them. You can go for the golden egg of popularity, of pleasing them, giving them their way all the time. Then they grow up without any internal sense of standards or expectations, without a personal commitment to being disciplined or responsible.

Either way—authoritarian or permissive—you have the golden egg mentality. You want to have your way or you want to be liked. But what happens, meantime, to the goose? What sense of responsibility, of self-discipline, of confidence in the ability to make good choices or achieve important goals is a child going to have a few years down the road? And what about your relationship? When he reaches those critical teenage years, the identity crises, will he know from his experience with you that you will listen without judging, that you really, deeply care about him as a person, that you can be trusted, no matter what? Will the relationship be strong enough for you to reach him, to communicate with him, to influence him?

Suppose you want your daughter to have a clean room—that’s P, production, the golden egg. And suppose you want her to clean it—that’s PC, production capability. Your daughter is the goose, the asset that produces the golden egg.

If you have P and PC in balance, she cleans the room cheerfully, without being reminded, because she is committed and has the discipline to stay with the commitment. She is a valuable asset, a goose that can produce golden eggs.

But if your paradigm is focused on production, on getting the room clean, you might find yourself nagging her to do it. You might even escalate your efforts to threatening or yelling, and in your desire to get the golden egg, you undermine the health and welfare of the goose.

Let me share with you an interesting PC experience I had with one of my daughters. We were planning a private date, which is something I enjoy regularly with each of my children. We find that the anticipation of the date is as satisfying as the realization.

So I approached my daughter and said, “Honey, tonight’s your night. What do you want to do?”

“Oh, Dad, that’s okay,” she replied.

“No, really,” I said. “What would you like to do?”

“Well,” she finally said, “what I want to do, you don’t really want to do.”

“Really, honey,” I said earnestly, “I want to do it. No matter what, it’s your choice.”

“I want to go see Star Wars,” she replied. “But I know you don’t like Star Wars. You slept through it before. You don’t like these fantasy movies. That’s okay, Dad.”

“No, honey, if that’s what you’d like to do, I’d like to do it.”

“Dad, don’t worry about it. We don’t always have to have this date.” She paused and then added, “But you know why you don’t like Star Wars? It’s because you don’t understand the philosophy and training of a Jedi Knight.”

“What?”

“You know the things you teach, Dad? Those are the same things that go into the training of a Jedi Knight.”

“Really? Let’s go to Star Wars!”

And we did. She sat next to me and gave me the paradigm. I became her student, her learner. It was totally fascinating. I could begin to see out of a new paradigm the whole way a Jedi Knight’s basic philosophy in training is manifested in different circumstances.

That experience was not a planned P experience; it was the serendipitous fruit of a PC investment. It was bonding and very satisfying. But we enjoyed golden eggs, too, as the goose—the quality of the relationship—was significantly fed.