Читать книгу Medical Romance December 2016 Books 1-6 - Sue MacKay, Carol Marinelli - Страница 22

CHAPTER TWELVE

‘THANK YOU, CHARLIE. That was an unexpected compliment.’

‘Perhaps unexpected but not undeserved. I think you know me well enough after the last few days together to know that I don’t hold back my opinion, whether others want to hear it or not. In this case I hope you want to hear it. And while I didn’t initially agree, you proved me wrong and that rarely happens.’

‘As I said, your compliment was unexpected but very much appreciated,’ Juliet said as she removed her surgical gloves and dropped them in the designated bin along with her surgical cap and gown. ‘There were a few scary moments in there and I must admit I felt a little out of my depth more than once.’

Charlie slipped his surgical cap free and ran his fingers through his hair. ‘You seemed pretty poised and in control even when it all went south.’

‘I may have looked composed but my mind was the duck’s feet paddling underneath at a million miles an hour. You were the star today.’

Charlie smiled at her analogy and Juliet thought it was the most incredible smile.

‘Seriously, you need to take credit where it’s due. Teddy’s are so fortunate to have you on staff. You could move permanently to anywhere in the world. There would be so many hospitals that would love to steal you, of that I’m sure.’

‘What about you?’ he answered quickly, still looking into her eyes with an intensity she had not experienced.

The deep blue pools were threatening to pierce the last barriers of resistance to him. Watching him so expertly and confidently lead the team and deliver the four babies safely had brought a new level of admiration for him that she knew few, if any, other doctors could surpass. But Juliet still wasn’t sure what he meant. Was he asking if she wanted to steal him? The answer of course would be yes, if she could dull the alarm bells ringing in her head and bury her doubts.

‘I’m not sure what you mean?’ she asked nervously.

He crossed his arms across his impressive chest and stepped out his legs. It was a powerful stance not lost on Juliet.

‘I mean, would you seriously consider living and working here? Would you let Teddy’s perhaps steal you permanently from your base in Perth?’

‘I’m not sure.’

Juliet felt the intensity of his gaze upon her. She wasn’t sure if he was waiting for her to say anything as he stood looking at her without saying a word. She felt her pulse quicken and she became almost breathless with him standing so close to her. Her skin tingled and he had not touched her. She wondered for a moment if she would or could say no to him touching her if they were somewhere else alone...and he tried to pull her to him.

‘Are you hungry?’

Juliet was taken aback by his question. Hungry for what? Her eyes widened and she felt excitement surge through her veins as she nodded.

‘What if I cook us dinner at my place?’

‘Your place?’

‘Yes, my home’s twenty minutes from here. You could follow my bike and I could whip us up something half edible and definitely better than the vending machine, which is your other choice if you stay here at this time of the night.’

‘But what about Bea...?’ she began to ask as her chest rose with a nervous intake of air.

‘I don’t think your parents will let her starve and they’ve more than likely eaten already. Bea may even be in bed asleep. It’s almost eight o’clock.’

Juliet hadn’t realised the time. It was true, it was late, and they all might have been asleep, not just Bea. She was trying to keep her emotions in check and remember it would be merely a dinner shared by two colleagues. She just had to keep remembering that fact and everything would be fine.

‘Give me fifteen minutes to have a quick shower and change.’

‘Of course. I could do with a hot shower to loosen my muscles as well. I’ll meet you in your office in twenty minutes.’

Juliet walked away knowing she hadn’t wanted anyone’s company in a very long time. Not until that moment.

* * *

Juliet followed behind Charlie’s bike along the winding road. The moon’s halo lit his broad masculine silhouette as they travelled slowly through the darkened countryside. There was no other traffic, just the two of them on the road. Juliet felt herself mesmerised as he leaned into the turns and curves of the road. His was agile and strong and completely in control of the huge machine. He made it impossible for her not to stare in awe and a little bit of anticipation as he led her to his home.

Finally they pulled into the large estate and Juliet wondered if he had one of the cottages, but soon learned it was the stately mansion that was indeed his home. Even with just the moon lighting the grounds, she could see how magnificent the landscape and how grand his home.

‘This is beautiful,’ she said as she climbed from the car wearing jeans, a pullover and boots. Her hair was tied up in a makeshift ponytail and a thick scarf and coat rested on her shoulders. ‘I’ve never seen anything quite like it.’

‘It’s a work in progress.’

‘It looks wonderfully finished to me,’ she replied as she followed him up the steps to the two-hundred-year-old home. ‘It’s simply glorious. Nothing quite like it in Perth.’

Charlie unlocked the door and held it open for Juliet to enter, before he stepped inside and closed the door. ‘I’ll put on a fire and start dinner then show you around, if you’d like.’

With her gaze scanning the furnishings and architecture of the beautiful interior, she nodded. ‘I’d love that.’

* * *

The fire was roaring and the meat was ready whenever they were; it would take only a few minutes on the grill. Charlie reappeared in the doorway, aware that he was not in a hurry to cook or rush anything about the evening. The surgery, and everything that had happened over the last few days since meeting Juliet, had made him feel alive and made him hunger for more time alone with her, despite his better judgement. ‘Would you like a glass of wine?’

‘I do have to drive home.’

‘Not for a while. Besides, you’ll be eating and I’ll give you only half a glass.’

‘That sounds lovely. I won’t head in until around one tomorrow so it might be nice to let my hair down.’

Charlie smiled. Seeing Juliet on the sofa, with her beautiful face lit by the fire, was a sight he had never imagined over the years of his self-imposed solitude. But it was a sight he was relishing. ‘I’ll be back.’

Juliet looked into the crackling fire and as another log was consumed by flames she thought how very different Charlie was from the man she’d first met. In five short days he had opened up and shown a compassionate, loving side completely at odds with the brusque exterior he had first displayed. Bea was smitten by him, and she felt sure if her parents met him they too would think he was very charming. An English gentleman with an English country manor. It was all very proper and lovely. A little like a fairy tale but she wasn’t yet sure of the ending. Or indeed if fairy tales happened.

Charlie appeared with two glasses of red wine, Juliet’s only a quarter filled.

‘As I promised,’ he said as he handed her the long-stemmed Waterford Crystal glass. Their hands touched as he gave her possession of the cold crystal and it instantly stirred an overwhelming desire to feel more than just her hand against his. His mouth immediately craved Juliet’s full, inviting lips hovering only inches from his own. He let his gaze linger for a moment on her mouth, all the while wondering if it would taste as sweet as it looked. He pushed the cold rim of the glass against his mouth in a bid to control the mounting desire surging through his veins.

‘Thank you,’ she said as she climbed to her feet. ‘Can I have the grand tour now? Do we have time?’

‘All the time in the world,’ he replied.

* * *

Charlie led Juliet around the ground floor. Leaving the generous sitting room, he showed her the kitchen with the butler’s pantry, the dining room, which she noticed had been set for two, the utility room, a wonderfully inspiring floor-to-ceiling library, a study with a large oak desk and bookcase and a billiard room that housed an antique snooker table. As they entered each room he thought about kissing Juliet but then reasoning stepped in and made him keep a little distance. But each room was harder than the last.

‘You said you were renovating but it all looks perfect to me.’

‘I finished downstairs first then moved upstairs with the repairs and redecorating.’

‘What’s upstairs?’ she asked, her curiosity driving her towards the staircase. She was fascinated by the house and couldn’t wait to see more.

‘The seven bedrooms,’ he answered as he followed her lead and moved towards the grand staircase. ‘Apparently all of them including the master bedroom are finished but I haven’t seen them yet.’

Juliet thought the statement was odd and turned to him. She said nothing as she assumed he had been too busy to check it out, but she couldn’t imagine not rushing home to see the progress every night, no matter what the time of day. He was very low-key.

‘So where do you sleep?’

‘Over there,’ he said, pointing at the chesterfield. ‘I’m accustomed to it now. I’ve been sleeping there for a few months while the work’s been happening upstairs.’ Charlie didn’t tell her that he didn’t feel any motivation to sleep in the new master bedroom alone.

‘It’s a very comfortable sofa, but if the master bedroom’s finished then it’s time you moved in. Let’s take a peek.’

Charlie noticed everything about Juliet as she climbed the stairs ahead of him. Her slim hips swaying in her tight jeans with each enthusiastic step, the way her curls bounced when her head flicked from side to side as she looked at the antique framed paintings hanging on the wall, and the slender fingers of one hand gliding up the balustrade, the other hand encircling her glass. She was gorgeous, intelligent and sexy. And watching her, he suspected he was smitten. He wasn’t sure if it could be more than that but it was still more than he had imagined ever feeling again.

By the time they had reached the large oak door of the master bedroom, Charlie knew he couldn’t resist her any longer. He wanted to spend the night in the refurbished room. But not alone. He wanted to spend the night with Juliet. She had made him feel more alive than he had in years. She, and her little girl, had made him believe there could be life outside the hospital. He had been alone for so long, but now this sexy, desirable woman had stirred feelings that he’d never thought he would feel in his body and soul the way he did at that moment. And if all they had was that moment, he couldn’t let it slip away without taking a chance.

Juliet tentatively opened the heavy door to the darkened room and Charlie brushed her shoulder gently as he reached around for the light. Her heart unexpectedly began to race with his touch. Nervously she swallowed and bit the inside of her cheek. She was at the entrance to Charlie’s bedroom and she couldn’t see anything. But she realised that she wasn’t scared.

She couldn’t see the future but suddenly that didn’t matter either. She didn’t need to have everything laid out. She felt safe. Safer than she could remember feeling before. The fleeting warmth of his body against hers caused butterflies to stir. As each second passed with him so close to her, she loosened her tether to fear. Pushing away the promises she had made to never trust again. With his warm breath on her neck, she felt herself feeling free to fall into whatever this could be. She didn’t want to run away from her feelings.

As his fingers flicked on the light switch, Juliet found herself looking around at the elegant decor, in the soft lighting. But her focus was the imposing four-poster bed that dominated the room...and dominated her thoughts. It could be their bed for the night.

Suddenly everything felt right. The man standing so close to her was everything she could hope for and he was within her reach.

That bed would be theirs.

Her breathing became laboured with anticipation as she felt Charlie’s strong hands on her hips. Gently but purposefully he swivelled her around to face him. Her mouth was only inches from his and it made the ache inside her almost overwhelming. With only the sound of their hearts beating, he searched her face for permission to kiss her and she smiled her consent as she reached up on her tiptoes to meet his lips. Taking her glass and placing it with his on the large oak dresser, Charlie scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, where he laid her down and gently began to peel away her clothing. He slipped off her boots, tugged down her jeans and then slid her arms and body free of her jumper, revealing her white lace underwear.

Juliet watched and admired as he pulled free all of his own clothing, discarding each piece roughly to the floor. Finally, gloriously naked, he loosened her hair from its ponytail and then began to slowly remove the last remnants of clothing keeping them apart. With every part of his mouth and body he began to pleasure Juliet in ways she had not thought possible and ways she did not want to end. Willingly and wantonly, she gave into all of her desires for the man who had awakened the woman in her. And over the hours he loved her that night she gave a little part of her heart to him as they crossed the divide from colleagues to lovers.

* * *

Charlie looked over at Juliet still asleep. She was beautiful and loving and everything a man could desire. She had given herself to him willingly and, while it had been the most amazing night, in the soft light streaming from the hallway his actions hit home hard. He had taken the chance. For the first time in a very long time he hadn’t denied his feelings but as he lay there looking out into the still of the darkness outside he knew he should have fought this harder. He should never have invited her to dinner, let alone to his bedroom. He regretted everything about the night. The sight of her peacefully sleeping tugged at his heart. A heart so damaged that it hadn’t felt anything but pain for so long.

And now the pain returned two-fold. He had betrayed his resolve to live his life without love out of respect for Alice and now there was a second burden. He would be forced to hurt Juliet. A very special woman he did not want to hurt. A woman who did not deserve to be hurt. She was loving and trusting and she had given herself to him openly and honestly. He knew everything there was to know about her.

But she did not know everything about him. She had no idea that he could not let her into his life. Last night was all they would share. He could not accept happiness. He didn’t deserve it. As he felt the warmth of her body against his he suddenly felt overwhelmed by the guilt that had been his constant companion for two years. Thoughts of Juliet and what might have been had their lives been different filled his mind. Her scent was on every part of his body and buried the guilt for those few hours but he knew it was only temporary. It wouldn’t last and then he would bring her down too. She deserved better than to be with a man who would never be free to love her. He had to set her free.

‘Good morning,’ she softly said as she lifted herself up to meet his lips.

His mouth felt the warmth of hers but he ended the kiss before it deepened. The need for her was as strong in the morning as the night before but now he knew he had to fight it. It should never have gone that far.

‘I’m sorry I fell asleep. I should have left a while ago. You invited me for dinner, not a sleepover.’

He sat bolt upright. If he held her close to him he would give in to his desire. He would take her again and feel her warm soft skin against his and that would make what he had to do more difficult. And more painful for both of them.

‘That was my fault as much as yours. I guess we just got carried away by the heat of the moment. Yesterday was quite an intense day. But I’ll get you some breakfast before you leave,’ he told her as he lifted the covers, swung his legs down and found his boxer shorts and then a heavy winter robe lying on the chair beside the bed. ‘I’m sure I can rustle up some toast for us. I’m going to head into the hospital and check on the quads and my other patients.’

‘Is there something wrong?’

‘No,’ he lied. ‘I just think we should get going. Last night was...well...special but I’m sure you agree not something we should repeat. It’d make working together difficult for the short time you still have here and neither of us would want that.’

Each word was carefully chosen to hide any level of emotion. What he wanted to do was to pull her into his arms and make love to her again, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t surrender to the emotions surging through him after they’d spent the night together. He feared his heart and soul were still in pieces and he needed to accept that in the harsh light of the morning. He was damaged and she needed a man who was still whole. Her tenderness and honesty made him feel worse. But he couldn’t prolong what he knew he had to do. End it before it began. Not because he didn’t care about her but because he feared caring too much.

‘I’m really confused, Charlie. I won’t lie,’ she said as she pulled the covers up around her. ‘After last night and...after what happened between us, why are you so distant to me this morning? You sound so cold and...just nothing like you were last night. Why are you in such a hurry for me to leave?’

‘I’m not being cold. I’m being honest. Last night was great but we both need to see it for what it really is.’

‘And what is that?’

‘A great night together—’

‘A one-night stand?’ she cut in.

‘Juliet, it was fantastic,’ he said. ‘But we’re colleagues and I’m not looking for a relationship. I think the intensity of what we went through yesterday with the delivery of the quads heightened our emotions and we acted upon it.’

‘So last night was just a fling after the surgery, a reaction to a successful outcome? Is that how you see it?’

Charlie used every ounce of his strength not to reach for her. Not to say how he really felt. Not to let her know that she was breaking through his defences and making him want more. That there was no one he wanted to be with more than her. But he couldn’t.

‘You can and will do far better than me. I was just for last night.’

‘So in your mind it really was just a one-night stand?’

‘That doesn’t sum up what we shared...’

‘But it’s how you see it,’ she spat back angrily.

‘Well...’

‘I can’t believe this,’ she said with anger and disappointment colouring her tone. ‘You’re no different from all the other men who want a quick roll in the sack with no strings attached—’

‘That’s not true.’

‘Tell me how it isn’t true. If this was only for one night then you should have let me in on that fact yesterday, before we fell into bed together. I thought we shared something more than that, or at least we could, given time.’

Charlie hated what he had to do and say. His heart wrenched. This woman was wonderful and loving but he could never be what Juliet needed.

‘I didn’t mislead you, Juliet. I don’t think either of us thought too much about anything other than being with each other but now, in the light of day, we have to be practical. I need to be alone and you’re not staying in the UK long term so let’s not delay the inevitable.’

What he wanted, with all of his still unhealed heart, was to say that spending any more time with her and knowing he had to let her go would be unbearable. He was torn between the happiness that he felt around her and the guilt that he knew he deserved to carry.

The guilt that would ruin any chance for them having any sort of a future.

‘Charlie, does this have something to do with your wife? Lots of people lose their partners but they go on to love again.’

‘That has nothing to do with this,’ he lied again. ‘It doesn’t matter why, it’s just the way it is.’ His voice was shaky as he tried to hold back what Juliet did not need to know.

‘I’m not buying it. I think I know you almost better than you know yourself, even though that sounds ridiculous after a week but it’s how I feel. So I need to know something. I need you to tell me what happened, Charlie,’ she said. Her tone had softened. ‘What happened to your wife? Because that has everything to do with your need to be alone. I know it has.’

Charlie’s back stiffened and his jaw tensed. ‘It won’t change anything.’

‘Perhaps not, but I want to know.’

He climbed from the bed and began to gather his clothes in silence. He did not want to open up old wounds.

‘Charlie,’ Juliet began as she leant against the bed head, the bedclothes wrapped around her still-naked body. ‘I’ll go. I know you want me to leave but you owe me an explanation for what is happening now. I need to know why you’re rejecting us...and why you won’t even try.’

‘Fine,’ he said as he inhaled and filled his tight chest with air and stood in the middle of the softly lit room staring back at Juliet. ‘You know I’m a widower and you know my wife, Alice, died two years ago. It was a car accident that claimed her life on the road that leads out of town. She died in the Cotswolds only two miles from this house and I wish every day that I could change places with her but I can’t. She died and I am forced to live on.’

Juliet sat for a moment in silence. ‘Charlie, I’m sorry that you lost your wife so tragically, but you can’t change what’s happened or trade places with her. Do you think she would want you to be living with that much sadness? Don’t you think you’re being hard on yourself? You’re still here and you can live your life...’

‘After I took hers? I don’t think so.’

‘What do you mean, after you took hers? It was an accident.’

‘I was driving.’

‘Were you drunk?’

‘No,’ he spat angrily. ‘I would never get behind the wheel if I’d been drinking.’

‘Then it wasn’t your fault.’

He stood rigidly. ‘She was excited about going to the dinner. I couldn’t have been further from excited. The weather had been the worst we’d seen in years, I’d been in surgery all day and wanted to stay home but I didn’t want to refuse her. I didn’t want to appear selfish so I gave in. When I should have said no, I said yes. Despite my reservations, we headed out on the snow-covered roads, I lost control and I killed her.’

‘No, Charlie, you didn’t kill her. The weather, the road, fate, that is what killed Alice. You can’t take responsibility for that. Factors came together to take her life.’

He paced the room. His hands were clenched tightly. ‘We shouldn’t have been on the road, in the weather. I should have been more cautious. I should’ve protected her. I was her husband; that was my role.’

‘I bet you had driven in that weather many times without incident and you thought that night would be no different...’

‘But it was different. I should’ve argued the point, and insisted we stayed in, out of the weather.’

‘Even if you had done that, you know Alice could have been in an accident the next morning travelling to work. It could have happened any time. Or worse, she could have gone on her own and you wouldn’t have been there for her. You tried to protect her. You were tired and yet you agreed and did your best to protect her by being with her.’

‘But I failed and nothing you say can change this. I’ve felt this way since the day she died and I will feel this way until the day I die. And it’s the reason I haven’t driven in more than two years. I won’t get behind the wheel of a car again. Ever. Please, Juliet, I think it’s best that you leave.’

‘Charlie, we can talk about this—’

‘No.’ He knew his coldness wasn’t lost on Juliet and he wanted it that way. He had to push her away before he fell too hard and couldn’t let her go. ‘There’s nothing else to say. I’m sorry if you were looking for more. But I’m not and never will be. You’re a special woman, Juliet, but I can’t... I suppose occasional lapses like last night will happen.’

Juliet stared back at him. He could see tears welling in her eyes. ‘Lapses?’

‘I’m sorry, you know what I mean.’

‘If all of this is true, then you had no right to ask me back here last night.’

‘I asked you here for dinner.’

‘Then why didn’t you leave it downstairs?’ she demanded. ‘Why did you show me the master bedroom?’

‘I need to get dressed. There’s no point discussing this further. We made a mistake last night. We shouldn’t have overstepped the line. We work together and we should not have slept together. It won’t happen again. I’ll make sure of that.’

‘You’ll make sure of that?’ she repeated solemnly. ‘I’ll make sure of it.’

‘Juliet, I didn’t mean to hurt you; you have to believe me.’

‘I don’t have to believe anything.’ She climbed from the bed and began to gather her clothes. Angrily she pushed past him to the bathroom. She slammed the door shut and reappeared a few minutes later, dressed.

‘There’s just one more thing,’ he said, determined to distance himself from Juliet and her tiny daughter. He knew it would sound heartless but it would ensure she stopped trying to help him.

‘What?’ she demanded.

‘Would you mind telling Bea that the delivery she’s expecting won’t be arriving? The Christmas tree farm can’t deliver. I’m truly sorry.’