Читать книгу A Summer to Remember - Sue Moorcroft - Страница 13

To: Clancy Moss

From: William Martin

21 May

Dear Clancy,

Just writing to confirm that the company will continue paying you dividends – in the short term – and I’ve today paid what we agreed as rent for your half of the apartment. I’d like to think these financial arrangements are interim. When the dust’s settled we’ll be able to put lasting proposals to you. You’ll probably know more about what you want the future to look like by then too.

Is it possible for you to tell one of us you’re OK? If you feel the need for a complete communication break then we’ll try to understand but we’re concerned. I hope you can take that in the spirit it’s meant.

Will hadn’t signed the email. Clancy supposed he hadn’t known how. Kisses were no longer appropriate and Kind regards plain odd when a few short months ago they’d been deciding the menu for their wedding breakfast. In those days, the apartment had been the settled home she’d waited all her life for. Will was her forever man.

She sat back and sighed, the noise and bustle of a busy Hunstanton café surrounding her. Dilys and Ernie, who’d leapt at the opportunity of grabbing a lift into ‘Hunny’, were running errands while Clancy emailed her parents to update them on the past weeks, though the remote village in Namibia where Brenda and Gerry Moss were working was almost as technology-deprived as Nelson’s Bar. There, all communications were via satellite and easily affected by weather.

Luckily, Clancy’s superpower had always been not needing parental support.

As she’d tried to make good her intention to throw herself into her new life, the week had sped by without her moving out of the village and into a signal or Wi-Fi area. She hadn’t liked to press Aaron about using his satellite broadband, especially when it wasn’t for Roundhouse Row matters. Instead, she’d readied the rentals for occupation, including mowing lawns and tidying borders, and found her feet with the paperwork side of her caretaking duties. She’d also cooked more than she’d had time for in London, and a couple of times invited Dilys and Ernie to share the results.

But now she felt guilty, especially when she thought of those texts from Asila and Tracey, which she’d ignored. She replied to Will quickly, noting his comments on financial arrangements. Then she began another message.

To: Asila Memon, Jon Montagu, Tracey Murland, William Martin

From: Clancy Moss

25 May

Just to let you know I’m OK. I didn’t deliberately blank your texts/emails but I’m staying somewhere that doesn’t have mobile signal or broadband.

She thought of the years they’d worked together from the first idea, which had been Monty’s, making enthusiastic plans over takeaways at kitchen tables, beginning with rented equipment in a tiny enterprise zone, building their client list and their reputation and eventually moving to the offices in Islington. Until Will got caught with his pants down she’d considered it her life. After reflecting on their years as friends as well as colleagues she added, Hope you’re all OK.

Then she began a new email.

To: Alice Nettles

From: Clancy Moss

25 May

Subject: Nelson’s Bar

Alice, just to update you:

Clancy spent twenty minutes explaining how she’d come to move into the Roundhouse.

Then she rounded off:

As I’ve been looking after things for you I didn’t think you’d object, but I thought I’d tell you I’m here. Are you still in the US? Are you having fun? Send me a lovely long catch-up. I haven’t even seen you on Insta lately.

It’s funny being in Nelson’s Bar without you, living in the Roundhouse where you used to live with Lee, but it’s a sweet village.

After adding love and kisses, she shut down and went off to stow her laptop in the car and shop for readymade curtains, thinking of Alice and wondering if her travelling days would ever end. Funny how they’d become the antithesis of each other. Alice had spent her early years in England but had developed itchy feet. Clancy, with travel-bug parents, had been relieved to come to the UK and put down roots, roots that had eventually come to mean Will and IsVid. She wondered what she’d find to replace them.

It was late afternoon by the time she drove Dilys and Ernie back to Nelson’s Bar, thinking how odd it was they lived apart when they seemed to get on. Then Ernie told Dilys she was very wrinkly and she snapped at him to shut up, and she thought maybe they knew what they were doing after all. As they came into the village, they passed a tall figure walking a big dog and Ernie and Dilys broke off their argument to exclaim, ‘There’s Aaron!’

Clancy drove carefully around the pair while Ernie and Dilys waved out of the car windows.

As she parked outside the Roundhouse, Dilys said, ‘It’s the village meeting at De Silva House later. Are you coming, Clancy?’

Clancy pressed the button that opened the boot so they could access their shopping. ‘I don’t think so.’ She didn’t know anything about the meeting but it didn’t sound appealing.

Dilys pulled herself out of the car. ‘Official village matters are dealt with by the Village Committee through Parish Meetings, but this is a village meeting, which is sort of unofficial.’

Clancy shook her head as she opened her door and hopped out with more agility than Dilys. She’d done pro bono work with a rural charity and had heard enough about the intricacies of Parish Councils, Village Councils and Parish Meetings to feel them best avoided – and that was without considering her prospective welcome at De Silva House. ‘I don’t think I’d have anything to contribute.’

‘You would!’ Dilys cried, sounding disappointed. ‘It’s about improving the village. I want to get internet and you know about it.’

‘No more than many people who’ve used the internet on a regular basis,’ Clancy replied firmly. ‘We’d better get our shopping in. Come for coffee tomorrow and you can tell me about the meeting then.’

‘What good’s that?’ Dilys, instead of taking her bags from Clancy, planted her fists on her hips. Then her face brightened as she looked over Clancy’s shoulder. ‘Aaron! Come and tell Clancy about the village meeting.’

Clancy turned to see Aaron bearing down on them, Nelson with his ears back and tail wagging. Aaron glanced at Clancy.

‘Do you want to come to the meeting?’ he asked in much the way he might have said: ‘Do you want to eat worms?’ Stubble darkened his jaw as if he hadn’t shaved for a couple of days.

‘No,’ answered Clancy obligingly, though nettled at his tone, which she assumed sprang from the fact that the meeting would take place in his parents’ home. It was as if someone had arranged for her to be permanently in the wrong. Will began an affair with Renée; Clancy was asked to leave IsVid. Alice did a runner on her wedding day? Clancy should be kept at arm’s length.

Dilys seemed unaware of the undercurrents. ‘We need the internet. We need to be able to order groceries to come to our houses, and do our banking without having to go into Hunny.’ She clapped Clancy on the shoulder. ‘This girl, she knows all about it. She should tell everyone.’

Aaron looked anywhere but at Clancy. ‘Um … you could always give the information to me to be shared with the meeting.’

It was so obvious he hoped Clancy would go for that option that she nodded. ‘OK. As it happens, I have a little understanding of the problem of connectivity in rural areas because I once worked with a rural charity client.’ She drew a breath and delivered a rapid stream of facts about the need for affordable, fast broadband for working from home, networking, advertising, education and socialising. ‘Unfortunately, the commercial reality is that big providers are not necessarily interested in small communities,’ she ended. ‘Good luck.’

Then she deposited Dilys and Ernie’s shopping on their respective doorsteps; returned for her own bags, offered the three still standing in the lane a goodbye smile and sailed indoors.

It was after a couple of hours of hanging curtains that Clancy realised she was short of curtain hooks. Knowing she’d bought plenty, she trotted out to check her car boot. Sure enough, two packs had found their way into a corner and she had to move to the offside of the vehicle and stretch in to reclaim them.

She’d just straightened up when a white van rounded the bend and came flying up the lane, forcing her to leap out of its way. She dropped the packs in the dust in her fright. As she retrieved them, muttering under her breath, she heard the sound of the van halting and a door opening and closing.

‘Sorry,’ came a male voice. ‘I took the bend too quickly.’

Clancy met the man’s awkward gaze with a sense of shock.

‘Clancy,’ he murmured, when she remained speechless, ‘I thought it was you.’

His hair was lighter and straighter than Aaron’s and his face less animated but Clancy knew him too. She looked into his eyes – also lighter than Aaron’s – and was shocked. He looked so weary, and more like five years older than his brother than two years younger. ‘Hello, Lee. I’m glad to see you.’ She would have been gladder to see him with the boyish grin he used to wear.

His smile looked to be an effort. ‘But perhaps not at such speed? I’m late for a thing at my parents’ house but I didn’t mean to mow you down.’

‘Don’t worry, you missed.’

An awkward pause, Clancy absorbing the fact that she’d said she was glad to see Lee but he hadn’t returned the compliment. In fact, he was regarding her in the way a child might regard a spoonful of medicine – unpleasant but unavoidable.

She decided to try a gentle tackle on the elephant in the lane. ‘I hope me being around doesn’t bring back bad memories. I just … needed somewhere to go.’

He looked struck as he digested this. ‘I suppose I did the same.’ Then he patted her shoulder awkwardly, returned to his vehicle and drove away.

She returned to the Roundhouse thinking sombrely that life just beat some people up. She’d continue to fight against becoming one of them.

The summer sky had taken on a navy blue hue between box hedges and chalk cottages when Aaron arrived, unannounced, at Clancy’s door, Nelson sporting a doggy grin, at his side.

‘Got a minute to chat?’ Aaron asked, by way of greeting.

Conscious that he owned half the building she was living in and so, presumably, didn’t really need to ask, she decided to be civilised and invite him in for coffee. ‘Good meeting?’ she asked politely, as she took down mugs. They’d been Alice’s and were plain white with Royal Doulton on the bottom. Alice was nothing if not aspirational.

Aaron had helped himself to a seat at the kitchen table, dark eyes on her as she tried to remember how to work her new coffee machine. ‘I suppose so,’ he answered. ‘The usual stuff: the school in Thornham closed in the eighties – that always gets an airing – so we need young couples to stay in the village and increase the population. We should have a village hall but no one knows how to come up with the money. Kaz at the B&B wants more tourism and is worried about the future of the business. Obviously, wanting Roundhouse Row to be as full as possible, I agreed with her, not least because the B&B is in our literature as somewhere our guests might get a meal, but some villagers huffed and puffed about not wanting Nelson’s Bar “overrun with tourists”.’

‘Three holiday rentals and one B&B won’t attract enough tourists to “overrun” will they?’ In view of her current occupation, Clancy felt an affinity with Kaz and Oli. Kaz had seemed very nice if – understandably, it seemed – a little preoccupied with business.

‘Unlikely,’ Aaron agreed drily. ‘And those same people want the B&B there when they fancy lunch on the lawn or somewhere local for friends and relatives to stay. Ernie says the B&B needs a bigger bar so more than five people can get in at a time – nobody disagreed with that one. And, as you knew she would, Dilys took the position that Nelson’s Bar needs the internet and Ernie boomed out that the internet’s full of viruses and crooks.’

The coffee machine hissed and began to emit the unmistakeable coffee-is-nigh fragrance. Clancy gave him the first cup – with a splash in a saucer for Nelson – and popped in a coffee pod for the second. ‘The B&B seems a big part of the village.’

He gave a short laugh. ‘It would certainly be a worry if it came under threat. I had a chat with Kaz and Oli afterwards, trying to remember all the points about rural communities that you’d fired at me. Anyway,’ he went on, before she could ask more, ‘I’ve come to apologise. And explain.’ He’d propped his chin on his fist.

‘Go on then,’ she said, intrigued. The second coffee ready, she scooped it up and joined him at the table.

He ran a fingertip moodily around the rim of his mug. ‘I’m not impressed with myself. I deliberately made you feel unwelcome to go to the meeting.’

‘I got that.’

He closed his eyes for a moment. ‘Which makes it worse. I’m sure it felt personal but, really, it wasn’t.’

‘It was because of Lee,’ she supplied.

The dark eyes flicked open, looking wary. ‘Yes. You probably think I’m way exceeding my protectiveness but—’

‘I’ve seen him,’ she put in, remembering the fragility in Lee’s eyes. ‘He stopped to say hello.’ She told Aaron about the meeting, adding, ‘I couldn’t get over the change in him. He looks a genuinely troubled soul. I have to admit that at first I was stung that you so obviously wanted to keep me away from De Silva House and impatient if Lee was still rotting inside about what Alice did, but he looks so … beaten.’

Aaron’s shoulders relaxed a notch. ‘Thank you for saying that but it proves how misguided I was to try and protect him, when he chose to meet the issue head-on.’ He inhaled the steam of his coffee before taking an appreciative swig. ‘I’m guilty of excessive big-brotherliness – but I don’t think you have siblings, do you?’

‘I’m an only child,’ Clancy agreed slowly, ‘but did you know that because our mothers are identical twins, the DNA profiles of Alice and me are more like half-sisters than cousins?’

He lowered his coffee cup, looking struck. ‘Maybe Lee told me that once. Does it make a difference?’

‘I think so. I feel closer to her than my few cousins on Dad’s side, which allows me a glimmer of insight into why your family closes ranks around Lee.’ Clancy still had to push aside a pinprick of hurt though. ‘It’s more about Lee than it is about me.’

‘Yeah.’ But he was frowning again. ‘But you’re just as entitled to a safe haven.’

‘Oh.’ The pinprick of hurt blossomed suddenly into warmth. ‘Thank you.’ Feeling in charity with him, she broke out a packet of chocolate Hobnobs, which led to more coffee making as neither of them really had enough of the first cup left to allow dunking. Nelson jumped up hopefully when he heard the packet rustle but lay down again with a sigh when none of the bounty came his way.

Clancy resumed her seat and tried a less contentious subject. ‘I saw Genevieve at the B&B. It sounds as if her insurance company are playing ball OK. She’s moving into the B&B soon, isn’t she?’

He shrugged. ‘Think so.’ He dunked a Hobnob and popped it into his mouth whole. After he’d chewed and swallowed he added, ‘She ended things between us.’

‘Oh!’ Clancy paused. So much for less contentious subjects. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Thanks,’ he said moodily. ‘I think we were moving through the relationship at different speeds, but there’s something about being dumped, isn’t there?’

‘Yes.’ Her stomach gave the familiar lurch when she thought of Will. Will and Renée. ‘And when it’s a nice person who does the dumping, you wonder what that says about you.’

His gaze flew to her face and he cursed under his breath. ‘Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to—’

‘It’s OK.’ She buried her face in her coffee mug. Moving away from everything she knew had provided lots of distractions. Will had moved on in a brutally permanent way and so must she.

Aaron selected another Hobnob. ‘Actually, Genevieve quoted you. Something about women not being defined by men.’

‘I did say that, but I was talking about myself, not her.’ She began to add something about his love life being none of her business, but then stuttered to a halt when the memory of their kiss in the garden flashed into her mind. That had been a tiny bit of his love life, and it had certainly been her business. Did he ever think of that when he was at De Silva House? Ever look at the nook just beyond the garden arbour …? ‘I hope nothing I said influenced her decision,’ she ended.

Something flickered in his eyes, as if he were reading her mind. After a pause, he said, ‘I don’t think so. I was feeling that Genevieve was trying to manoeuvre me into asking her to move in. I didn’t want that – or not yet, anyway. When you came up with the B&B information, it got me out of that situation and apparently I let my relief show.’

Clancy’s face heated up. ‘If I interfered, it was totally unwittingly—’

He waved her words aside. ‘I’m not blaming you. Gen began demanding answers and I handled it badly. I was honest, I suppose, but not particularly gentle. She asked me if I loved her and I sort of became paralysed. So she ended things. I hate that me not wanting to commit definitely – or indefinitely – caused her pain but I can’t force feelings I don’t have.’ He dunked another biscuit.

Clancy froze. His words had jolted her heart into an uncomfortable rhythm. ‘You feel bad because you can’t care for her as much as she wants you to?’ she clarified.

‘Basically.’ He popped the biscuit into his mouth.

She felt clammy. ‘Why should you share your home with someone if you don’t want to?’

He nodded as he swallowed. ‘That’s it. I live alone because I like it that way.’

A sigh slipped out from somewhere deep within her heart. ‘That must be how Will felt too. Have you got someone else?’ She was probably getting all up in his business even voicing the question but he was being pretty open with her.

His hand froze over the biscuit packet, his black eyebrows up in his hairline. ‘No! I haven’t cheated.’

‘That’s a significant difference.’ Now Aaron had provided the key to the puzzle she felt compelled to share what it unlocked. ‘Will does love someone else. Her name’s Renée. He’s loved her for years but she married a friend of his so he presumed it was hopeless. Then she came back into his life as an employee of an IsVid client. She was single again and his old feelings flooded back.’ She stopped to ease the tightness in her throat with a gulp of coffee. ‘He didn’t know how to tell me … so he kept quiet. I thought it was from malice but what if he couldn’t tell me out of affection? I found out about Renée in a particularly horrible way, but he couldn’t help how he felt about her and he couldn’t help how he felt about me.’ She suddenly realised that Aaron had abandoned the biscuits in favour of holding her hand.

‘That’s crappy for you,’ he said feelingly.

‘For him too,’ she acknowledged for the first time. She’d punished Will for something he couldn’t help; was punishing him still.

Aaron seemed at a loss for an answer. When they’d sat in silence for several minutes, she got a hold of herself and introduced a new subject, one unlikely to lead to as much heart-searching as the last. ‘Do you know a couple of teenagers called Harry and Rory?’ Her voice came out reedy and she battled to make it sound normal as she explained how she’d met them. ‘They had me really worried when they didn’t come straight back up to the clifftop.’

Aaron grinned ruefully, accepting her change of topic. ‘Harry Drew’s my second cousin’s son. He’s a live wire all right. I expect they hid out on Secret Beach to give you a scare.’

She screwed up her forehead. ‘The beach at the foot of Zig-zag Path? I ran back to look and I couldn’t see them.’ She remembered the minutes of worry that she’d have to take action when it felt as if a wrong choice could mean the difference between life and death.

‘That’s Zig-zag Beach,’ Aaron said. ‘If you go off The Leap, which most of us have tried at some time, between where you land and Zig-zag Beach there’s a tiny cove that disappears at high tide. We call it Secret Beach. You can swim to Secret Beach from Zig-zag Beach if you don’t want to go off The Leap – which is about as high as those boards the Olympic divers go off, so not recommended for poor swimmers or anyone of a nervous disposition.’

Glad to focus on a nice safe emotion like indignation, Clancy withdrew her hand from his large, warm one. ‘The little gits! I was running backwards and forwards like an idiot.’

‘Yes, they’re pranksters. They have too much time on their hands.’

They chatted about the village for a little longer, then Aaron rose, clicking his fingers and interrupting Nelson’s snooze on the sofa, which he’d crept onto when no one was looking.

She accompanied them to the door. ‘It’s a shame everyone focuses on the negatives of this village. No village hall, no pub, nothing for youngsters. But it’s beautiful! You have the sea on your doorstep, the salt marshes either side, flint and chalk cottages, pretty gardens and a real community. My stress levels dropped the moment I drove into Nelson’s Bar. Although that wasn’t hard at the time,’ she added fairly.

He smiled down as he opened the front door and the sea breeze romped in to blow his hair forward over his face. ‘You should be the village’s PR officer.’

‘PR came into everything at IsVid. Except writing terms and conditions or privacy policies.’ She sighed, wondering how everyone was getting on without her. Without her. Her heart flinched.

Hoping it didn’t show, she stooped to ruffle Nelson’s fur. ‘I was thinking today that I’ve never had a dog.’

Aaron moved out into the porch. ‘I don’t suppose you’d like to practise on Nelson tomorrow? Mum has him if I’m working somewhere I can’t take him, which is much of the time. With Aunt Norma being on that walking frame it might be awkward though. He tends to get up on his hind legs to greet people and might bowl her over.’

‘I could,’ Clancy said impulsively, liking the idea of a bit of a dog-share. ‘The garden here’s secure, isn’t it?’

‘It is. Are you sure? I was half-joking, really.’ He looked from Nelson to Clancy and back again.

She was gathering enthusiasm for the idea though, envisaging walking around the leafy lanes with the big dog beside her and having something – someone? – to talk to in the Roundhouse. ‘Of course! At least, let’s try it. Bring him tomorrow and see if he settles. What kind of dog is he, anyway?’

Aaron regarded his pooch gravely and Nelson flattened his ears and grinned. ‘He looks like a wolf, stands on hind legs like a meerkat and plays on his back like a bear cub. He’s just a Nelson.’ After they’d made arrangements for the next day, Aaron stepped out into the dusky evening and left. Clancy stayed at the door, watching.

She felt a sudden prickle run over her skin. She wasn’t watching the way Aaron’s body moved so easily under his clothes, was she?

No, she told herself, stepping back indoors. She was admiring the grace of her new borrow-dog loping at his side.

Obviously.