Читать книгу Laugh or You’ll Cry: My life as a mum with MS and a son with autism - Sue Askins - Страница 6

July 2001. Julian is taking the boys – Josh, 11; Harvey, 8 – to see Tomb Raider at the cinema.

‘Sorry,’ I mumble. ‘I’m not really interested in that.’

Amazingly, off they go, a boys’ outing (they’ll be picking up some tips for the PlayStation game, no doubt), leaving me at home alone for two whole hours, maybe even stretching to three if they stop for a burger on the way home. In which case, I might’ve written a whole page.

I’ve decided to try to tell a story – my story, our story. I don’t feel like a proper author. It’s a therapy, a hobby perhaps. I’m a bit nervous now. Shy. What do I type first? I trust you will bear with me as I tell a simplified version of the last few years; I am just a mum, not a professional writing a thesis.

Perhaps it’s time for a tea break. No, let’s crack on. But where do I start? Maybe by telling you who I am.

 I am 39.

 A hassled mum.

 Red haired (with a touch of grey).

 Family orientated.

 Forthright.

 Sparrow legs.

 Loyal.

 The opposite of lazy.

 Retired.

 Kind (hopefully).

 Artistic.

To help me remember, I’ve found my old diaries. They mention Josh a lot, not surprisingly, as he was my first baby. It’s interesting to reread some of the entries 20 years later, seeing possible underlying messages.

But I’ll go back even further to a ‘pre-children’ era, when autism was just a word I’d heard from Rain Man, and MS was something that happened to other people. I can deal with all those issues later.

I’ll see what evolves on the computer screen. In fact, I think I hear a car. Yes, they’re back. I’ve wasted those precious hours on waffling, two cups of tea, three trips to the loo, a quick nap. I can see this is going to be a long process.

I retired at 35 after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I can hear you groan at this point. Who wants to read a story of doom and gloom? It’s not a morose tale, though, so please don’t be put off! I don’t feel sorry for myself. So as long as you understand that I wouldn’t usually bang on about my problems then I can begin without any worries.

Without MS, I doubt I would’ve had time to sit and write. I don’t feel it’s an important issue to talk about normally – after all, thousands of people have MS; and many have nastier conditions to live with – but I can’t deny its presence in my life.

It is a strange disease, which can appear and then disappear for many years. I was lucky, even though I suffered silently for a very long time. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, which left me free to carry on with my life, get married, have children and live normally in total ignorance, and I’m grateful. Whether Julian thinks along the same lines, I don’t know – only he could answer that – but I’d like to think it would’ve made no difference to our lives together. Who can say what they would or wouldn’t do, if we had the future mapped out beforehand?

We first met at art college when I was 16; he’s one year older than me. I vaguely remember this boy who was on my course, but so were 40 other people. Our paths never really crossed until two years later while studying for our Fine Art degrees. We started going out together in 1982, and have been a couple ever since.