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Teenage Kicks

Eight months before leaving

I hate my curly hair. I hate my red hair. I hate my curly, red hair. I hate that Jody Wright and his mates call me Curly Hurley at every opportunity. I walk out of the village-hall youth club away from them, my head held high. I should be used to it by now, but it still hurts.

‘Hey, it’s Erin, isn’t it?’

I stop dead in my tracks as in front of me Niall Marshall is sitting in his car, smoking a cigarette, the driver’s window is wound down and a plume of smoke floats out. He looks pretty cool. I throw a glance over to the passenger seat. His mate, Shane Wright, is sitting with him. They are listening to some drum-and-base music. Shane flicks his cigarette out of the window and nods in acknowledgement of me.

I realise Niall is waiting for an answer. I must try to play it cool. Niall Marshall is a bit of a catch in the quiet backwaters of Rossway. Nearly all the girls in my year have a crush on him. I swallow hard and, resting my hand on my hip, I stick it out to one side and place one foot slightly in front of the other.

‘Yeah, that’s right,’ I say.

‘You not staying at the youth club, then?’ he asks.

I shake my head. ‘It’s boring.’

‘Full of kids, right?’ Niall looks over at Shane and they both laugh.

‘There’s nothing else to do in this village,’ I say, as justification for being there.

‘Is that right?’ muses Niall. He leans over and mumbles something to Shane that I can’t make out. I’m not sure whether I should stay where I am or carry on home. Back to where life is even duller. I can’t wait to leave school and get out of this place.

I feel a bit of an idiot standing there and the pose is making my leg hurt.

Shane gets out of the car, saying his goodbyes to Niall. He holds the door open and gestures for me to come over.

‘Aren’t you going to get in, then?’ asks Niall.

‘Am I?’

‘Come on, I’ll take you for a ride. It won’t be boring, I promise.’

I look back at the youth club door, the sounds of some club mix blares out. I look beyond Niall’s car at the road leading to the flat, where I live with my mum and dad. There’s no contest.

I’m sitting beside Niall. I want to squeal with delight and excitement, but I keep it in. He’s two years older than me and the coolest thing since I don’t know what. He flicks the control on his iPod, which is plugged into his stereo and ‘Teenage Kicks’ by The Undertones blasts out from the speakers. I grin to myself and, as I fasten my seat belt, Niall blips the throttle and does whatever you do with the pedals to make the wheels spin for a few seconds, before we lurch forward and Niall floors it. We speed down the High Street. I’m with Niall Marshall! Woohoo!

We drive around the village for a while. As usual, it’s pretty quiet. There’s not much going on in Rossway. There never is.

‘So, where do you want to go?’ he asks.

‘I thought you were going to take me somewhere exciting,’ I say. To be truthful, I don’t mind where we go. If I’m with Niall, I really don’t care. I wonder briefly what Roisin would say if she knew I was out with her older brother. I don’t know if she would be happy. Anyway, she’s with Jody and his crowd. I don’t know why I feel any loyalty towards her, it’s not as if she ever sticks up for me when they start taking the mickey.

‘I know, let’s go out to The Spit,’ says Niall. ‘We can get burger and chips from the takeaway and eat it there.’ The Spit looks out onto the Irish Sea, jutting out from the coastline for about half a mile.

I smile at him. ‘That sounds great,’ I say, even though I’m not really hungry. Mum always makes sure I have some tea at the café before they close at the end of the day. I had a burger tonight, but I’m sure a burger with Niall will taste better than one from the café.

It’s peaceful out at The Spit. We come to a stop in the car park and look out across the dark water, the clouds cross the path of the moon, allowing snatches of light to peak out for only a minute or two.

I eat my burger and I was right. It does taste better.

‘Why were you leaving the youth club early?’ Niall asks.

‘I was actually a bit bored,’ I reply.

‘I think everyone grows out of it after a while. You’re what, sixteen now?’ says Niall through a mouthful of burger.

‘That’s right.’ I feel grown up that I’m sixteen, it sounds so much better than being the fifteen I was a month ago. I like being one of the oldest in the school year.

‘I can’t wait to get away from here,’ says Niall as he screws up the burger wrapper and drops it into the brown-paper takeaway bag. ‘Only one more year in the sixth form and then I’m off to university.’

‘Where are you going?’ I ask, ignoring the little flicker of disappointment that he will only be about for another year.

‘Dublin. If I get my grades, that is,’ he says. ‘I’m going to study law.’

‘Wow! You want to be a lawyer? You must be clever.’

Niall laughs. ‘A little. My mam’s got high hopes for me. She wants me to go into company law – where the money is.’

He imitates his mother’s voice and I laugh.

‘But what about you? Is that what you want to do?’ I ask.

‘I want to represent people who can’t afford a proper solicitor. I want to make a stand for the underdog. Mam doesn’t get that at all. She’s all right, really,’ he says with a smile. ‘She says she just wants what’s best for me. She’s a bit of a control freak at times.’

‘Sounds like my dad. It’s his way or no way. My dad isn’t ambitious for me, though. He’d be happy for me to work in the café when I leave school.’

‘Do you want to?’

‘No way. It’s bad enough having to work in there at the weekends and during school holidays. When I leave school I want to go to college and do a beautician’s course.’

‘What like, make-up and leg wax, that sort of thing?’

‘Yes. I want to have my own salon one day. Be my own boss.’

‘And will your dad let you?’

‘He doesn’t think I’ll stick at it. I’d like to live with my sister, Fiona.’ I fold up the last bit of burger in the wrapper. ‘She lives in London with her husband.’

‘How old is she?’

‘Twenty-four. We get on really well despite the big age gap. I’d be lost without her sometimes.’

‘I’ve only got Roisin,’ says Niall. He pulls a face, which makes me laugh again. ‘I know she’s your friend and all that, but as a sister she’s a feckin’ pain at times. She’s another control freak. I think she must get it from Mam. My poor dad is going to be spending even more time hiding from them at work once I leave home. He says he going to get a huge man-shed in the garden and take up model train-making.’

A small silence settles between us as we contemplate our families.

‘Let’s make a pact,’ he says suddenly. He turns in his seat to look at me. ‘We promise each other we’ll follow our dreams and not let our parents stand in the way. You promise you’ll go to college and become a beautician and I promise I’ll qualify as a solicitor and defend criminal cases. Is it a deal?’

He holds out his hand. I put mine in his. Just touching him makes me feel like a child at Christmas who has opened the best present ever. ‘It’s a deal,’ I manage to say, trying to stay calm and cool.

Niall leans over and kisses me briefly on the mouth. Oh, my God! I’ve had my Christmas and birthday presents all in one go.

We sit for a little longer looking up at the stars, talking about what the future holds for us. What we’re going to call our businesses. We fantasise about the sort of clients we will have. I will work on a cruise ship and travel to faraway places like the Caribbean and Mediterranean. Niall will defend high-profile celebrities and businessmen so he can make enough money to work for free, defending those who can’t afford a solicitor. He sees it as a modern-day Robin Hood sort of figure.

We promise again we’ll follow our dreams.

*

Seven months before leaving

‘When exactly were you going to tell me?’ demands Roisin.

‘Tell you what?’ I try to act all innocent.

We’re sitting next to each other at registration. I know exactly what she means. She means me and Niall becoming a proper item. Proper boyfriend and girlfriend. I hadn’t told her before as I didn’t want her to tell the others. Jody Wright will no doubt find something funny about it.

‘Come on, Erin. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m on about.’

Fortunately, Miss Martin, our form teacher, begins to call the register and I avoid answering Roisin. It gives me time to come up with a reasonable excuse.

As soon as registration is over and Miss Martin tells us to read in silence until the bell goes for first period, Roisin is hissing in my ear.

‘So?’ she demands. ‘When were you going to tell me you were going out with my brother? Why did you keep it a secret? I thought I was your best friend. Best friends are supposed to tell each other everything.’

I resist the urge to say what else best friends are supposed to do, like stick up for each other. Instead I say, ‘I was going to tell you eventually, but I was waiting until it was all official. We’ve only been out a few times.’ I hope she doesn’t press me to define ‘a few times’. I’ve actually seen Niall eight times in the last three weeks. Last night, he said we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I think Shane, Jody Wright’s brother, knows as he saw us together last night. He seems cool about it, though. He just said hello and carried on talking to Niall about what he was doing to his car. I suppose it is inevitable now that word will get around. After all, Rossway is only a small village.

I ask Roisin how she found out.

‘You didn’t come to the youth club again last night, so I went round to your house to see why.’

I gulp. ‘Did you speak to my mum? What did you say?’

‘Yes, I did, as a matter of fact. She said she thought you were at the youth club. That’s where you told her you were going.’ Roisin’s eyes narrow. ‘Your dad called out, wanting to know what you were up to.’

This time I can’t gulp. There’s a golf-ball-sized lump in my throat. I don’t want my dad to know I’ve been lying about what I’ve been doing. Roisin continues, a small look of amusement on her face. She knows what my dad is like.

‘Don’t worry, I didn’t give you away. I just said I remembered I was supposed to be meeting you there.’

‘Thank you.’ I look up over my book as I sense Miss Martin’s eyes trained upon us. We wait a few minutes before we start up again, making sure Miss Martin is preoccupied with trying to get the new interactive whiteboard working for her next class.

‘When I was walking back to the youth club, I saw Shane. He stopped to give me a lift. He said he’d seen you with Niall.’

‘Ah, Shane,’ I say. He would have just said it in conversation, I know. He’s not like his brother, Jody. I like Shane.

‘I had to act like I knew, of course,’ says Roisin.

‘I’m sorry. Like I said, I was going to tell you.’

The bell goes for first period and as I pack my book away in my bag, I feel a nudge on the shoulder. I turn round and Jody Wright is grinning, from his seat in the row behind.

‘Hey, Roisin,’ he says. ‘I saw your brother in the shop this morning.’ Roisin and Joe exchange a smirk. ‘He was buying carrots.’

I groan inwardly. I know what this is all about. Hastily I zip my bag shut and stand up, my chair bashes into the table behind me. It doesn’t distract Jody.

‘Carrots?’ questions Roisin.

‘Yeah, a whole load of them. He said they were for his bunny.’ He nudges me in the back again as I try to squeeze between Roisin and the tables. ‘You like carrots, don’t you, Bunny?’

‘Get lost,’ I say as I manage to execute my escape. I hear them laughing as I leave.

Niall tells me to take no notice of them. He’s had a word with Roisin and Shane. He’s sure the message will get through. He says he doesn’t care what they say anyway, that Jody’s a prick. I agree on that point. I say I agree on the not-caring point too, but really I do care. I wish Jody would let up. I don’t know why he and his cronies find me so bloody amusing.

We drive out to The Spit that night. It’s dark and cold. Niall has brought a blanket with him. We climb into the back seat and huddle together under the cover. We kiss each other. Up until now we haven’t actually had sex. We haven’t done anything yet. In fact, I haven’t done anything with anyone. However, all that changes in the next hour. It’s a bit of a fumble, not least because there’s no room and we can’t really see what we’re doing. Had I known, I might have worn my skirt.

Niall told me he loved me tonight. I’m not stupid enough to fall for that: only having sex with him because he loves me, although that did help. No, I wanted to do it with him. I love him and he loves me, it seems right – the next stage of our relationship. Afterwards, he holds me and tells me he loves me. I know he means it. So do I.

I feel different when I go into school the next day. Grown up. I see Niall at school and when we pass each other in the corridor he pulls me out of the line. I see the other girls look, with a sense of envy. They wish Niall Marshall had eyes for them. He asks me if I’m okay after last night. Of course I’m okay. I’m in love. He kisses me and tells me he loves me before running down the corridor to catch up with his class. I float in the other direction. I feel grown up. I feel loved.