Читать книгу A Forever Family: Their Miracle Child - Susan Carlisle - Страница 14

MITCHELL WALKED DOWN to the water’s edge in the warm night air. He wanted to clear his head before he tried to sleep. This was not how he had seen Jade and Amber’s visit playing out. He had pictured a fun-loving, easygoing woman, a kindred spirit of sorts. A Californian beach babe who might like to hang out, enjoy a few drinks at a bar, hit the surf and maybe even enjoy a casual hook-up.

Instead, he had found a woman whose commitment ran so much deeper than that. She had changed everything about her life for her niece. In Mitchell’s eyes it wasn’t necessary and he doubted he would be able to do the same, but he couldn’t help but admire how far she would go to provide the upbringing she believed her niece needed.

The rebel girl was now more at home having a cup of tea and an early night on her own. And she would give her life to protect Amber but he found it such a waste for her to hide behind the image of someone else. He had seen the real woman beside the pool and it had sent his body into overdrive.

She was pretending to be so much less than she was. Looking out over the moonlit water, Mitchell wondered how someone could be so completely selfless. Someone so young and beautiful who would have so many options yet she had obviously turned her back on them all for Amber.

He wanted to know more about her yet he had to prevent this conundrum of a woman from getting under his skin. He didn’t want to be involved with a woman that genuine. It would be a disaster for everyone. The idea of being tied to one woman and having a family would never work for him. Or would it? he wondered as he picked up a pebble and cast it into the moonlit ocean. It had felt so good to be in the room with Jade, putting Amber to bed. It had seemed so natural and as if they had done it before … and could do it a thousand times and never tire of it.

But there was doubt weighing heavily in his mind. An uncertainty that he could stay the course. A hesitation in his heart that he could not be relied on in a forever situation. His greatest misgiving would be his ability to last the distance and not break the hearts of those who loved him.

Until now that had never been tested. Until now he had never wanted to really get to know a woman beyond a one-night stand or contemplate being a part of a woman’s life.

The feelings that he was experiencing were all new to him. Mitchell was at an unexpected crossroad with no clue how he intended on navigating his future.

He stood in silence alone on the beach more confused than he had ever been.

Jade crossed to the scrub room and slipped on a disposable gown over the white nursing uniform she had pulled from her suitcase and pressed that morning. Morning had come quickly after another good night’s sleep. Amber’s day had been so filled with fun and adventure with her grandparents and then her early birthday dinner that she had been exhausted and had slept through the night, allowing Jade to do the same.

Jade’s shift began at two in the afternoon and she would finish at ten that night. Arthur had offered to drive her but Jade had insisted on catching the tram as the temp agency had advised, since their home was not far from the tram stop on Jetty Road. She really didn’t want to impose and it gave her a chance to see more of the city on her walk.

She reached out with her foot to the pedal to turn on the tap and noticed a woman in her late twenties, with a worried expression and dressed in a gown and slippers, drying her hands. Jade gave her an encouraging smile.

‘I hope to be going home soon. It’s my third day,’ the woman said softly, returning a meek smile. ‘I so wish I was taking Jasper with me but that will be a while, they say. How long do prem babies usually stay in hospital?’

‘It’s hard to say because all babies are different,’ Jade began to explain. ‘It depends on how your baby’s progressing. Babies who are smaller and those born earlier sometimes have some medical problems other than just being tiny and so tend to stay longer on the unit. But a premature baby who is otherwise well usually stays in the neonatal unit until around the date he or she was due to be born. If your baby does very well, is eating and gaining weight, then he or she might even be able go home even sooner. How early was Jasper?’

‘Ten weeks early. He’s on a ventilator because he has a lung problem that I don’t really understand,’ she returned quietly. ‘Hy-mem … something disease. The doctor tried to explain it to me but I didn’t really understand. And I didn’t want to ask too many questions. I thought he might think I’m being pushy, wanting to know everything medical when I’m not a doctor or even think I’m stupid for not understanding.’

Jade knew from her training and years of neonatal nursing that mothers of premature babies and their families all faced uncertainty and this caused raised levels of anxiety. Visiting their baby in Neonatal Intensive Care was a stressful situation that most knew little or nothing about.

‘It’s important that you never think of yourself as being difficult. Any questions you might have are valid,’ Jade explained, as she turned off the tap with her elbow. She was aware that the exchange of information allowed the nurses to gauge the stress within the family and most particularly the mother’s ability to cope. ‘Parents need to feel a part of the decisions being made for their baby, and you can’t do that if you don’t understand what is happening.’

‘Really? He won’t mind if I keep asking questions, and he won’t think they’re silly things I’m asking? It’s just that you’re here every day and it’s all so new to me.’

‘I promise you that the doctors and the nursing staff would never think of any questions as silly. More than likely the doctor assumed that you knew what he was saying if you didn’t ask any questions, and I guarantee he would have been more than happy to explain it to you. You’re a mother of a newborn in intensive care and you have every right and need to know what is happening throughout his treatment. Please, never hesitate to ask any of us whatever you want to know.’

The young woman sighed and seemed to lift in confidence a little.

‘I just don’t know what the disease is and why Jasper has it?’

‘Hyaline membrane disease is also called infant respiratory distress syndrome and is suffered by almost half of premature babies under thirty weeks,’ Jade offered instinctively as the woman’s body language showed she was relaxing. ‘It means that every time Jasper breathes in he has to expand his lungs completely. Healthy lungs don’t collapse to an airless state, but because of his prematurity Jasper’s lungs are deflating totally. It makes breathing very hard work for him.’

The woman dropped the dampened paper towel into the bin and tentatively approached Jade, looking for reassurance. ‘So it’s common, then?’

‘Many premature babies have issues with breathing as a result of their early arrival, and even if they aren’t as premature as Jasper they can still have this problem. But your baby is in very good hands here. If you have any questions about Jasper and the doctor isn’t available, just ask any of the nurses.’

‘I haven’t seen you here before. You’re American. Have you moved to Adelaide to live?’

‘No, I’m on a working holiday. Today is my first shift and I will be here for the next three weeks. So let me know if you have any other questions. I’ll be here tonight till late.’

‘Thanks so much. I have to express some milk and grab something to eat. The nurse told me that I have to keep up my calories to make sure I can produce enough for Jasper.’

Jade nodded. ‘Yes, you do. You have to get sleep and rest and eat well for both you and Jasper. One of the most important things you and your partner can do for your baby is look after yourselves. Get sleep, eat healthy meals, and take a break from it all. It’s exhausting having a baby in the neonatal unit, particularly after a difficult or emergency birth. It’s natural to want to put your baby first but you must be good to yourself, too.’

She watched as the woman put a half-smile on her tired face then left the washroom to head back to the ward, hopefully secure in the knowledge that she could ask anything she needed to know without any judgement from the medical staff. Ultimately, she would be her baby’s only constant in the multiple care-giving system of neonatal intensive care and she needed to feel confident in that role.

Jade had already been given her patient roster at handover. It wasn’t a busy time in the nursery and she only had two infants to monitor. Checking the first infant’s chart, she noted that Costa was due for a gavage feed. She crossed slowly to another nurse already on duty. As she drew closer, she noticed she was quite young. She had a friendly face with a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Her hair was a mass of copper curls kept out of her eyes with a pearly clasp on the top of her head. She wasn’t particularly tall, perhaps two or three inches shorter than Jade, and this added to her overall young appearance. She imagined that Amber might look similar when she was older.

‘Hi, I’m Jade.’

‘I’m Mandy. You’re from the agency too, then?’

‘Yes, first shift and staying for about three weeks, part time, though.’

‘Welcome on board.’ Then, distracted by something or someone in the glass-walled scrub room, she paused and then lowered her voice. ‘Scrumptious, isn’t he?’

Jade noticed a huge smile spread across the young nurse’s face but had no idea why.

‘If I wasn’t engaged …’ Mandy began in a wistful tone, before tilting her head to one side in the direction of the door ‘… I’d offer him breakfast in bed.’

‘Who?’ Jade cut in.

‘Mitchell Forrester, the dishy doctor just scrubbing in.’

Jade froze. Mitchell worked at the hospital? He hadn’t mentioned it the night before. She felt her stomach jump and her heart race. Why hadn’t he told her? She was suddenly quite confused as she’d thought they were getting on well and if he wanted it to remain that way he certainly should have volunteered that information the previous night.

Perhaps he didn’t like the idea of them working together. She couldn’t be sure but there were so many things about which she wasn’t sure. Including her feelings for the man scrubbing in. She could see exactly why the nurse spoke that way. Mitchell was very handsome and more than likely up for some fun with the right woman, but it wasn’t her. She was not in the market for a one-night stand and up until now her resolve to stay single had not been tested.

‘I suppose,’ Jade replied coldly, not wanting to let on that she had any connection to Mitchell or the fact there was a tiny part of her that agreed.

‘It doesn’t hurt to have some eye candy in the workplace. I mean, it’s a nice distraction from the round-the-clock care we provide for premmies. I think it’s the universe rewarding us!’

Jade could not join her enthusiasm. She wanted to be anywhere else but near Mitchell. He was resurrecting needs she had put to rest the moment Amber had arrived in her life. She didn’t want or need a distraction from her role. She didn’t dare let her eyes rest on him for long. His raw masculinity was reminding her that she was a woman with desires that hadn’t been met in a very long time.

‘I guess, from what I’ve heard, the parents can rest assured their babies are in the very best hands. And in Mitchell Forrester’s hands is where I’m sure every second nurse in the hospital would like to be,’ she added with a laugh.

‘Well, there’s no accounting for taste,’ Jade answered woodenly, making it clear she had no intention of joining the recruitment line for his harem. Then she noticed that a theatre nurse spoke to him briefly and he turned and left the scrub room with her.

She was relieved that he wasn’t coming in. It gave her a little longer without him there.

Her attention quickly returned to baby Costa. She began the gavage feed that was due by aspirating the contents of his tiny stomach to assess the quantity of still undigested food, along with the colour and appearance. Satisfied that everything was within normal limits, Jade slowly returned the contents to ensure that valuable electrolytes were not lost. Then, attaching the syringe with the milk, she held it above the baby to allow gravity to control the feed, and began the thirty-minute process.

‘I’m Soula, Costa’s mum,’ came a young female voice as Jade was about twenty minutes into the feed.

Jade raised her eyes only momentarily from her tiny patient to acknowledge the young woman dressed in her gown and slippers.

‘Hello, Soula. I’m Jade, and I’ll be looking after Costa this afternoon. He’s certainly a handsome young man.’

‘He looks like his father,’ Soula returned with a nervous smile. ‘The same thick black hair. His yia-yia, Maria, adores him as he reminds her of Yanni … he’s my husband and her eldest son. She had five boys but I think maybe one or two will be more than enough for us.’

Jade monitored the feed as she listened to the young mother talk about the close-knit Greek family.

After the feed was complete, Jade instilled a tiny amount of sterile water to clear the tubing of residual milk before she capped the tube and settled Costa. Suddenly Soula’s voice became unsteady. Jade turned to see the young woman’s eyes welling with tears.

‘If anything happens to Costa I don’t know what I’ll do. I love him so much already.’ Soula broke down and began sobbing. ‘I loved him before he was born.’

Jade closed the incubator door and asked Soula to sit down. It was less than twenty-four hours since she had given birth and she was emotionally and physically drained. Jade gently touched Soula’s arm as she spoke. ‘Since Costa arrived he has had the best medical care. He might be tiny but he’s a strong little boy and putting up a big fight. The injection you were given before delivery has stripped the mucous lining of Costa’s lungs enough to allow a head box and avoid a ventilator. He’s doing very well.’

‘Yes, but Dr Forrester said he’s still critical.’

‘Soula, every baby here in Neonatal ICU is critical, for different medical reasons. Some are tiny, some have complications but we are all doing our very best to ensure they move to the nursery as soon as they are ready. If Dr Forrester gave you a less than rosy picture, it’s because he is being sensibly cautious. It’s important that you understand what challenges Costa is facing now and those he will face in coming weeks, and Dr Forrester is telling you everything. That is far better than not knowing what lies ahead.’ Jade paused. ‘But as he’s only just arrived, and after reading Costa’s notes, it appears that he is doing very well. We will feed him your milk as soon as it comes in and that will help enormously with his immunity.’

‘His father just wants to know that Costa is okay,’ she said, mopping her tears. ‘I promised Yanni that I’d call as soon as I’d visited this morning. He’s up in Roxby in the mines. He works two weeks on and two weeks off and he’d arranged to be here for the birth but Costa arrived eight weeks early. They’re trying to arrange a flight down here today for Yanni and he’s desperate for any news of his son.’ Her words arrived at an increasing speed because of her nerves.

‘I can imagine he would be,’ Jade told her, empathy in her soft voice. ‘It must be such a worry for him, being so far away. As you can probably tell by my accent I’m not from here, so I have no idea where Roxby is located. Is it a big mining town?’

Jade decided to engage Soula in a conversation about the man she clearly adored. It was something tangible and positive and would help the young woman to perhaps focus on something to pull her anxiety down to a manageable level. Jade was fully aware that Soula might within a day or so have to deal with symptoms associated with the postpartum blues, such as mood swings, sleep disturbances and tearfulness, and this would add to her already anxious state. She was glad that Yanni would be arriving soon to support his wife. They would be able to face Costa’s hurdles together.

‘Roxby is a mining town up north. I’ve never been there but …’ Soula began to slow her words and take breaths. ‘When we were trying to get pregnant, Yanni said I should make a trip up there with him because the town has one of the highest birth rates in the whole of Australia.’ Soula was trying to appear a little braver than she really felt but her shaky sigh betrayed the anxiety still very close to the surface.

‘Really,’ Jade replied evenly. ‘They might have to bring more televisions into the town if it becomes a problem.’

Soula smiled, a meek smile but still a smile. Happy that the new mother was comfortable, keeping her baby company, Jade headed over to see how her other little patient was progressing. It was time to check his vital signs.

‘Looks like you’ve settled in very well.’ The voice like molten chocolate came from close behind her and resonated through every part of her body. ‘Even have our new mothers swap tears for smiles. I’m impressed, Nurse Grant.’

Jade tugged at her lower lip with her teeth. She didn’t want or need to hear that voice. It was inevitable, she admitted silently, as he was her boss and she had seen him scrubbing in earlier, but it was not welcome. Mitchell Forrester was causing her body and mind to react in ways she had forgotten she had ever felt. She swallowed before she turned to him but it wasn’t enough to steady her racing heart when she came face to face with him again. It was ridiculous. Only the day before she had been so angry with him, then had agreed to a truce, and now she found it hard to be near him for very different reasons.

She didn’t trust herself.

‘I like to see parents smile,’ she managed as she struggled to level her rapid breathing. ‘But I can’t stop to chat, I’m super-busy, just about to check Jasper’s vitals. I just finished Costa’s feed. His mother is quite anxious but he appears to be doing well. He’s feeding, vitals are stable and her husband is expected to arrive soon, which I hope will alleviate her distress to some degree. She needs his support. Oh, and you forgot to tell me last night that we’d be working together. Any reason for that?’

‘Thought it might be a pleasant surprise,’ he replied with a smile. He wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t told her. Perhaps because he was still trying to figure out in his head how he felt about the working arrangement. And how he felt about her.

Jade couldn’t believe how he looked so good even in his scrubs. And how nervous he made her feel and how the words were spilling from her lips at lightning speed. It was as if she were a first-year nursing student suddenly and not the confident neonatal nurse with years of experience under her belt and on her résumé. How she wished he had retained the unkempt look of old. Resistance would have been so easy if he looked like a castaway but now he was causing an awareness of needs and desires she had pushed from her mind for so long. She was not about to join the bevy of nurses at the Eastern Memorial who found his charm irresistible.

‘So do we operate any differently from over in the US?’ Mitchell asked as he observed her taking baby Johnson’s temperature.

Jade reminded herself that if she wanted to keep him at arm’s length she had to remain aloof and professional at all times. ‘Not that I’ve noticed. Maybe a few different terms like obs when I would say vitals but it’s not going to be a struggle for me to adapt.’

Mitchell smiled. He thought she would fit in very well. Too well, in fact, he thought as he walked away. He didn’t want to become accustomed to having her around.

Jade kept her focus on the baby as she finished recording his vitals and then, satisfied he was progressing well, she closed the incubator door. She was relieved Mitchell was assisting with another small patient that had just arrived in NICU.

The afternoon turned to evening, with Jade liking her temporary new workplace. The other nurses were lovely, a little infatuated with Mitchell but other than that Jade enjoyed working with them. Those who didn’t want to sleep with him couldn’t praise him enough, and Jade had to agree that he was brilliant with the patients and ensured that the parents felt a part of decision-making around their newborn.

She had overheard his conversations with anxious mothers and fathers during her shift and his bedside manner reduced their unfounded fears and allowed them to understand the real hurdles ahead. He answered their questions honestly but with enough compassion not to add to their heightened anxiety. Jade witnessed his skills as a neonatologist and she knew that she would feel safe if she were a parent and he was the attending doctor diagnosing and arranging a treatment plan for a tiny infant.

The shift came to an end at ten in the evening, and Jade knew that Amber would be tucked into bed and sound asleep. She had called during her late lunch break and spoken to her niece and discovered to her delight that she was enjoying her time splashing in a wading pool. Maureen assured Jade that Amber was wearing sunscreen and inflatable arm bands and that she and Arthur wouldn’t take their eyes from her for a second. During the second call, Jade had found out that Amber had dried off from the pool and was busy making cupcakes. It had been a weight off Jade’s mind to hear her so happy. She had been safely inside the house and Jade knew that Maureen was very responsible so she had nothing to worry about. Maureen was nothing like her elder son, not likely to run off with Amber on an adventure of any sort.

It was late and dark so Jade was going to get a cab home from the city. She had caught the tram in but, despite the glorious warm evening air, the walk to the tram stop along the dark city road didn’t hold much appeal.

‘Need a lift?’

Jade knew it was Mitchell without turning her head. Her heart annoyingly skipped a beat and confirmed it. She felt like a teenager the way her body was reacting.

Or overreacting, as she told herself.

‘I’m catching a cab, it’s a bit late for the tram.’

He walked closer and made Jade very aware of his presence. The cologne on his clothes was faint but still enough to stir her senses.

‘I’ll give you a lift. I live in the same road, remember, so it’s not going out of the way.’

Jade drew a deep breath and in silence she turned around to face the most intense blue eyes. She knew it would be rude to decline his offer but the alarm bells in her head were louder than the ambulance siren as it pulled into the nearby A and E bay.

‘You’re sure?’ she asked, hoping against all hope that in the moments since he’d asked he had suddenly remembered somewhere he had to be on the other side of the city. Or that there was a single young nurse in need of his attention. Anything really that would allow her to squirm her way out of sharing the trip home.

‘Very sure,’ he insisted. ‘I’m in the doctors’ car park at the side of the building.’

With reservations and a deep breath, Jade followed her handsome chauffeur into the dimly lit car park. She could see a few cars but had no idea which one belonged to Mitchell. There were a four-wheel-drive, three late-model BMWs, a couple of hatchbacks and a motorbike. She felt pretty sure it was the four-wheel drive as it had roof racks that she assumed would be utilised for his surfboards. The hatchbacks would be a squeeze for his six-foot-two frame, but he might have gone the sophisticated route of the imported sedan.

At this time of the night Jade’s concern about her mode of transport was close to zero. She just wanted to get home and put her feet up. And do it without being too close to Mitchell.

‘Here,’ he said as he held out a motorbike helmet and took her bag from her shoulder. ‘This one’s for you, and I’ll take the bag for safekeeping.’

‘You can’t be serious.’

‘Deadly,’ he said, raising one dark eyebrow over a twinkling eye.

Her rising anxiety levels began pumping adrenalin around her tired body. ‘I’m honestly not comfortable with the whole bike thing. I think I’ll catch a cab.’ She felt a tension headache coming on.

‘And make me ride home alone?’ he asked her with a stare so intense it refused to be ignored. ‘Come on, keep me company. It’s only a twenty-minute trip.’

Jade felt her heart begin to stampede. But this reaction wasn’t purely the fear of the bike. It was the man. If only she hadn’t looked at him when he’d looked at her that way. It was almost impossible to remain distant but she had to. She couldn’t risk getting close to him. She definitely couldn’t let him get under her skin.

‘It’s not a tough decision,’ he said. ‘I can assure you that in all the time I’ve been riding bikes I haven’t killed, maimed or lost a single passenger.’

‘That’s supposed to make me feel better?’ Jade asked tartly, taking a step backwards to reclaim some distance between them.

‘Come on, lassie, take the boy up on his offer and be off with the pair of you,’ said a paediatric consultant Jade recognised from NCIU. Her accent was thick and Jade felt certain it was Irish. She was putting her bag in the back seat of one of the BMW sedans that Jade wished with all of her being was Mitchell’s mode of transport. Not for the prestige attached to the vehicle, it was the doors and roof that she wanted. And the console between them.

‘You’re a wise woman, Maggie O’Donnell, to be sure, to be sure,’ Mitchell, said mimicking her accent.

Maggie sharply turned her attention to Mitchell. ‘Any more from you, Dr Forrester, and I’ll convince the poor girl not to take the ride and I won’t be talking to you again, to be sure, to be sure!’

Mitchell smiled as he watched Maggie shake her head of neat grey curls. ‘It’s been a long day and I’m in need of a cuppa and some kip so you two can do what you please. I’m away.’ With that she reversed from the car park and drove off into the dark, leaving Jade alone with Mitchell again. And a problem.

Why couldn’t he just drive a regular car like all the other doctors?

Dread filled her thoughts. It wasn’t safe.

For two reasons.

It was a motorbike and they could have an accident. They could be sideswiped, hit a pothole or skid in the rain. It wasn’t raining, she admitted to herself, but it still was a bad idea.

And secondly, if she were crazy enough to accept a lift, a bike would force her to wrap her arms around Mitchell just to stop her falling off. There was no way she wanted to be that close to him and feel the warmth of his body close to hers.

‘It’s a straight run down North Terrace then ANZAC Highway to Glenelg,’ he said. As if he read her mind he continued, ‘It’s not raining, the highway’s just been resurfaced so there’s no potholes along the way and not much traffic so there’s negligible risk of being knocked off the bike.’

‘I just don’t feel good about it.’

‘Have you ever been on a motorbike before?’

Jade nodded reluctantly. She had been on so many motorbike rides that she’d lost count. She’d loved to ride around the winding roads to Malibu on the Pacific Coast Highway. Whether she had been the rider or the passenger, she’d loved the feeling when she’d headed out along the beach road, the faster the better as the fresh ocean breeze had hit her face under the helmet.

‘Yes, a few times but—’

‘And you’re here to tell the tale so that makes two of us. So I say let’s get going.’

Jade felt she’d be a hypocrite if she refused and walked back to the cab rank when she knew she had ridden a bike in far more dangerous situations than a quick trip home.

Grudgingly, she accepted the helmet and that simple act elicited a huge smile from Mitchell. He knew that underneath Miss Prim was a woman who wanted to let go and lie naked in the sun. He would just have to take small steps to draw out the real Jade and make her feel comfortable to be herself. He wondered how long she had been hiding beneath the maiden aunt façade. Had it been since Amber was born or something more recent? It would be a challenging few weeks but he would do his best to make Amber’s aunt fun to be around for Amber.

It wasn’t for him, he told himself. He wanted Jade to lighten up and be fun for her niece, that was all.

He slipped on his helmet, put her bag in the storage compartment of the seat and then climbed on the bike and started the engine.

Jade stood frozen to the spot. Her helmet was securely on her head but her mind was fighting her decision.

Mitchell lifted his visor and reached his hand out to her. His eyes told her a story that she didn’t want to hear. He was handsome, intelligent and fun. And she was losing the struggle to refuse his invitation.

She relented and, accepting his hand, climbed on the back of the bike.

His warm scent was all around her, and she prayed that once they hit the road the breeze would make it dissipate, along with the feelings he was stirring in her body. Her hands limply held on to the sides of his body until his strong hands suddenly pulled her hands across his waist in a tighter grip. Her body was pulled against his as they hit the road. Together.