Читать книгу The Brooding Surgeon's Baby Bombshell - Susan Carlisle - Страница 11
ОглавлениеZOE CLUTCHED THE restroom door handle in the conference area of the High Hotel. It had been almost six months since she’d seen Gabe and she was hiding from him. She suspected he was impatiently waiting for her in the hall. Not facing him wasn’t a choice she had. Her entire world had changed in that amount of time. Her mother was worse. And Zoe was pregnant.
Guilt hung on her like a heavy necklace of stones she wore all the time. She should have told Gabe. It wouldn’t have been that hard to contact him. She’d used him to escape her life for a night and now there was a baby to consider. He’d deserved better on a number of levels. When she’d kissed him at her hotel-room door she hadn’t planned on becoming the “drama” he had been adamant about not having in his life.
He knew now. He’d seen her protruding belly when she’d stood. She’d heard his gasp from halfway across the meeting room. There had been no mistaking his shocked expression when she’d glanced back. Would he care if it was his? Did he want to know? Regardless, he deserved to be told he was going to be a father. Even though he’d stated a family wasn’t for him.
She paused before pulling the door open. Hopefully Gabe had already returned to the committee room. At first she had thought the stomach rolling had been a virus. After a few weeks she’d had to admit it might be something else. But couldn’t believe it. She’d been taking the pill. She’d dragged her feet about buying a pregnancy test because she’d just been unable to wrap her mind around the idea she might be expecting. She’d thought of contacting Gabe the moment she’d seen the test was positive, but had immediately found an excuse not to. Each time she’d convinced herself she had to tell him, she’d come up with a reason not to call him. Too tired, working too late, her mother needed her right that minute, and the list went on. The truth was Gabe had said he wasn’t interested in being a father and she felt guilty for her part in involving him.
How would he react when he found out? She’d vowed after each of their committee’s monthly conference calls to call and tell him. As time had gone by, she’d decided he deserved to hear the news face-to-face. Their semiannual in-person meeting was soon and she’d planned to tell him then. What she hadn’t counted on was not seeing him the night before. She’d fully expected to have a chance to tell him in private before their committee meeting. Sadly that hadn’t happened.
Her fingers flexed on the handle. What if Gabe had found someone special since they had been together? The idea disturbed her more than it should have. Any relationship he might have could be hurt when the woman learned of the baby. Just another reason Zoe shouldn’t have put off telling him. She hadn’t intended to hurt him. Ever.
Was he mad? Glad? Would he believe it was his? She’d been such a coward.
Her body had hummed with tension all morning as she’d anticipated telling Gabe. More than once she’d had to remind herself to breathe. Had even had to force herself to eat a bite or two of the croissant she’d gotten off the breakfast buffet. Despite being five months along, morning food still didn’t always agree with her. Her temperamental tummy was made worse by nerves strung so taut they would hit a high note if plucked.
She had glanced at Gabe several times. His gaze had met hers on a number of those. When it had, ripples of pleasurable awareness had zinged through her. She wasn’t sure if it was the flapping of wings in her belly or the baby kicking, but her body had a definite reaction to the sight of him. She was still attracted to him. There had been an uneasiness in his eyes, but a glint of pleasure as well. Had he been glad to see her before she’d stood up, revealing her condition?
Their night together had been memorable. Extremely delightful and erotic. She’d let go like she’d never allowed herself to do before. Her life had been becoming more complicated and she’d just wanted to live a little. Gabe was there, tall, dark and handsome with a Southern drawl, her fantasy come to life...almost.
Her dream man would want to marry and have a family.
Yet despite that one character flaw, she’d wanted Gabe to give her the attention she’d craved. Had been greedy about it. Being with him had made her feel alive, desirable and carefree. She’d taken shameless advantage of their night of passion. The fear it might not come her way again had had her agreeing to things she was normally cautious about.
Not only was Gabe easy on the eyes but intelligent, thoughtful, funny and a great conversationalist. He really listened. She liked him, too much. Now fate had them in its grasp. Like it or not, against all odds, they were having a child together.
Finding the right man had been difficult for her. She refused to settle or compromise. She wanted a man devoted to her, who would feel the same way about their family. More than once her mother had said Zoe was dreaming of someone who didn’t exist. Zoe resisted that idea, knowing her mother was jaded from being an abandoned wife and mother. Still, Zoe believed there could be a happily ever after out there for her. She just had to find the right man.
The one time Zoe had thought she had, she’d ended up devastated. While confident their relationship had been progressing toward marriage, she’d caught Shawn having dinner with another woman. When she’d confronted him, he’d announced they didn’t want the same things out of life. That no man could live up to her expectations. That Zoe had an unrealistic view of life and relationships. To believe a man could be devoted to just one woman was antiquated.
Other men had implied the same thing. She still vowed not to lower her standards, even when she realized her pledge might mean she’d never have the family she’d dreamed of. Gabe’s assertion about not being interested in a wife or family only meant he wasn’t any different than the other men she’d been interested in. They’d all been like her father and left when life had turned inconvenient.
She’d fully accepted Gabe was not Mr. Right when she’d let go of her inhibitions that night, confident in her birth control.
Zoe lightly banged her forehead against the bathroom door, her hand aching from the prolonged tight grip on the handle. She just wanted that one man who would love her forever. If that was being too picky, so be it. As her mother’s condition gradually deteriorated, it was becoming more difficult to date, even if she had a chance. At least now, with a baby on the way, she had one of the two things she’d always wanted.
With a sudden surge of resolution, Zoe gripped the handle even tighter, her knuckles going white. She had to face Gabe. It was time. She ran her free hand over the rise at her middle, unable to keep the smile from forming despite her anxiety. When she had finally accepted she was pregnant, she’d been filled with joy. The only disappointment was that she didn’t have a husband to share her happiness with.
She rolled her shoulders back, forcing them to relax, took a fortifying breath and stepped out into the hallway. As she suspected, Gabe was there. Waiting.
* * *
Gabe gasped when Zoe stood. He felt like he’d just been sucker punched in the gut. His throat constricted as his heart recovered and went into high gear, pounding like a drum against his ribs.
Zoe was pregnant!
It was obvious beneath her pink dress.
For the past two hours she’d been sitting across from him, so involved in their committee’s discussion she hadn’t left the table. At least he’d assumed that was why she hadn’t stood until the midmorning break.
Gabe clamped his mouth shut and swallowed, trying to slow his thundering heart. Tearing his gaze from Zoe’s rounded middle, he glanced wildly about the conference room. Was it his?
Numerous times over the last months he’d thought of her. Of their night together. More than once he’d picked up his phone with the intention of calling her, only to put it down, afraid his intrusion into her life wouldn’t be welcomed, especially after the way she had left the morning after.
He’d hoped to get to the hotel earlier so he could talk to her but his flight hadn’t cooperated. His surgery schedule hadn’t either. Instead of coming in the night before, he’d had to take a morning plane.
After he’d gasped, Zoe had glanced back at him before she’d hurried toward the conference-room exit. Was she running from him again?
Standing, he’d pushed his chair away with so much force he’d had to catch it before he could make his way around the table. He’d been stopped by one of the other committee members but had ended that conversation in short order.
He’d stalked down the hall toward the restrooms, his best guess for where she’d gone.
It could be someone else’s.
His heart did another tap dance. Zoe could have found someone just after they’d been together. He shook his head. His gut told him that wasn’t the case. Maybe it was the way he’d caught her uncertain look before she’d headed from the room.
The unending fascination he still felt for her hadn’t been part of his plan for a one-night stand, but it was there anyway. Now it appeared that night had had bigger repercussions than the memories that haunted him.
Gabe stationed himself across from the women’s restroom. Zoe had to come out sometime.
When the door finally opened, Zoe stepped into the hall and Gabe met her in the middle of it. Despite the large area around them, the space seemed to zoom inward until it was just he and Zoe.
“Is it mine?” His words were low and harsh.
She nodded, before she looked away then back to him. “You don’t have to worry. I can take care of it. I won’t make any demands on you.”
Gabe’s head jerked back in disbelief. “What? Of course I’ll help. This is my child too.”
“It was an accident. I can take care of us.” Her hand brushed her middle. “You don’t need to feel obligated in any way. I just wanted you to know about the baby.” Her voice grew stronger and she tried to step around him.
He blocked her path. “Yes, I can tell how eager you were to tell me. Must have been damned near impossible for you to keep it a secret all these months.” He almost winced at the sarcasm in his voice. “You should have told me. Not blindsided me.”
Zoe put a protective hand on her middle. Her eyes turned sad. “I wanted to. Tried. Sorry.”
At the sound of footsteps, they both glanced up the hall in the direction of the committee room. It was one of the other members coming their direction.
“Please, let’s not make a scene,” Zoe begged.
Gabe took her elbow. He was gentle yet firm. “Come. We need to talk.” He led her to a small alcove some distance down the hall from the restrooms.
Bile rose in his throat as Zoe stepped as far away from him as the space would allow. Just months ago, she’d been so alive in his arms. He took a deep breath in an effort to regain control, perspective.
“This isn’t the time or the place for this.” The desperation in her eyes and tone was unmistakable.
He glared at her. “Would you have ever told me if you hadn’t had to? Did you really think I wouldn’t notice? Did you manage to forget I’ve seen all of you, knew your body down to the smallest detail?”
Heat filled her cheeks. It was plain she remembered as well as he did, perhaps more clearly.
Gabe watched her closely. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her hand went over her middle again. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. I take full responsibility. I just thought you deserved to be told to your face.”
“It seems to me that you could have at least picked up the phone and called.”
“I know I should have, but I just kept making excuses. Then I knew I was going to see you here, but you didn’t come to the dinner last night...”
The tension in his shoulders eased. She must be under a lot of pressure. Could he believe her? “I got stuck in surgery. Look, you’re right. Now isn’t the time for us to talk. We’re expected back in the meeting. When does your plane leave?”
“Just after the meeting.” Zoe glanced at the opening as if anxious to leave.
His voice softened. “You can’t change it?”
“No. I have to get home to see about my mother. Just being gone overnight has become a problem. I’ve got to go.” She shifted toward the opening.
“Okay. We’ll have to figure something out later. But we will talk.” He nodded his head toward the opening. “Why don’t you go back ahead of me? I’ll be along in a minute. I’d rather there be as little talk as possible.”
With a curt nod of apparent agreement, she slipped past him and hurried away.
He was going to be a father. Gabe’s chest had a funny ache in it. Was it joy? Being a father had never been in his plans. He’d always been so careful. Zoe had changed that.
He’d grown up without a father. That had been the deciding factor in his decision to forgo the family route. Yet now that his plans for his life had just been rewritten permanently, he was determined no child of his would grow up not knowing his father. Zoe could protest that he wasn’t obligated all she liked. If she’d thought that feeble opposition would make him walk off as if nothing had ever happened, she’d badly underestimated him.
More annoying still was his body’s reaction to her nearness. She’d been standing so close. Her soft floral scent still lingered in his nostrils. That fragrance would forever be hers. Memories washed over him. Zoe soft and willing in his arms. The sweet, lilting moan she’d made as they’d joined. It was a night he’d replayed over and over in his mind. Yet this wasn’t the outcome he’d planned. But one he would accept. Deal with.
In the last few minutes his world had altered irreversibly. In a few months he would be a father. Next month he would be in a new job. A very visible one. He needed to look professional, be in control of his life. Gabe took a deep breath, gathered his emotions. Life had just grabbed him by the tail.
* * *
Zoe made her way back to the conference room on weak knees. Gabe had been right. They didn’t need to return at the same time, especially after one of the committee members had caught them arguing. Had the woman overheard what they’d been talking about? Yet Gabe’s sensible suggestion that they enter separately troubled her. Was he ashamed of her?
Maybe it was best. They shouldn’t draw attention to themselves, so that they’d have to explain what was going on between them. All she’d planned to do was tell Gabe and now he knew. She didn’t expect anything more from him and had made that plain. They would part ways today and that would be it. He’d have his life, his career, on the West Coast and she and the baby theirs on the East.
Except Gabe had said he wanted to talk. Would he be making demands? She had been surprised by the ferocity in his tone when he’d stated he would be in his child’s life. Where had that come from? Especially after he’d told her he wasn’t interested in a family. It must have been the shock of learning he was going to be a father. That was all it was.
She had just settled her shaking body in the chair when the moderator called the meeting back to order. Gabe slipped into his chair a minute later with an apologetic nod in the chairperson’s direction. Zoe refused to meet his look, the one she felt on her. The rest of the day would be long. Picking up her pen, she doodled on a page of her agenda to keep herself from glancing at him. The few times she dared to look, his thoughtful light blue gaze was fixed on her. She still found him attractive.
At their lunch break, Gabe started her way but was stopped by someone asking him a question. That gave her the chance to grab her meal and hurry back to her place, avoiding interacting with him again.
By midafternoon the meeting was ending. Zoe hadn’t heard much of it. She had been busy berating herself for failing to think through the consequences of not telling Gabe sooner.
“Dr. Marks,” the chairperson said, and the room erupted in clapping.
Zoe’s head jerked up. What had just been said? She gave a half-hearted pat of her hands as she watched Gabe. He smiled, nodding, as he looked around the room.
His gaze met hers briefly before he said, “Thank you. I look forward to becoming the head of transplants at National Hospital.”
The earlier fluttering in her stomach took off like a covey of quail. Gabe would be moving to the East Coast. To the same area as her!
She stared at him in disbelief.
He shrugged.
The rest of the people in the room stood and gathered their belongings. Zoe didn’t move. She’d believed Gabe would be three thousand miles away when he’d talked about being involved with their child. Now he would just be down the road. He might want to see the baby not only during the summer, while taking a few weeks of annual vacation, but regularly. He could even want part-time custody. This situation was spinning out of her control.
By the time she pulled her thoughts together, the room was practically empty. Gabe was still being congratulated by a couple of people when she was ready to go. In a stupor of shock, she snatched up her purse and grabbed the suitcase handle, hurrying out, unable to think clearly. Gabe had upended her envisioned future as a happy single parent.
“Zoe.”
She looked over her shoulder to see him striding toward her, and walked faster.
“Wait up,” he called.
“I need to catch my plane.” She had too much to process. Needed time to think.
Gabe pulled level with her. “But we need to talk.”
“If you wanted to talk so badly, why didn’t you tell me you had accepted a job that had you moving for all intents and purposes into my backyard?”
His mouth gaped in shock as he grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop.
“Maybe because I was too busy trying to recover from the bomb you dropped on me.”
He did have her there. She inhaled and said on the exhalation, “I think we both need some time to consider what we need to do.” His touch made her tremble, triggering memories of his hands all over her that night. How was she supposed to think?
“I already know what I want,” he snapped. “I intend to be as much a part of my child’s life as possible.”
“Does it matter what I want?” Zoe jerked free, took hold of her luggage handle again and started out of the hotel attached to the airport by a tunnel that led under the street.
Gabe matched her stride. “You didn’t think I’d want to know my child, did you?”
“I thought you deserved to know he or she existed, but I never imagined you’d want to be involved as closely as you’re talking about.” She kept increasing her pace, lugging her bag behind her. “You made it perfectly clear you weren’t family material before we went to bed together.”
“Oho, so that’s it. You didn’t think I’d care about being a father. It so happens that now that I am one I intend to be one. You have a problem with that?”
“I don’t know. I might if you keep applying this much pressure all the time,” she hissed.
“If I keep... You’ve had months to adjust to having a child. I only just learned I’m going to be a father.” His frustration was loud and clear.
Guilt assaulted her. “I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t fair, but you can’t expect me to make a life-changing decision for my child while I’m on the way to the airport.”
They continued through the tunnel into the terminal. Gabe remained beside her, larger than life. Why couldn’t he give her some space? She was already tied in emotional knots. She needed to get away, get home and regroup.
Zoe had other things to consider besides Gabe’s newly found parental outrage. Her friend had just sent a text to say that her mom was anxious, constantly searching the apartment and asking for Zoe.
Her thoughts were too scattered. She needed to consider carefully everything she said or agreed to. What happened would affect her and her child forever. “Gabe, I’m not talking about this right now. You’re moving across the country and you need time to get settled into your new job before you agree to shoulder the responsibilities of fatherhood. Responsibilities you need to carefully weigh first. Meanwhile, I need time to handle other issues in my life.”
“Is there someone else involved here?” His question was a demand. “Are you involved with someone?”
“No, nothing like that.” She glanced at Gabe in time to see him visibly relax. What did it matter to him if she had a boyfriend—or a lover, for that matter?
He touched her elbow to steady her when she rocked back as they headed up the escalators to the security area. Heat zipped through her. “You need to hold the handrail.”
“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Pregnancy doesn’t make me feeble-minded.” She’d covered her reaction to him with feistiness she didn’t completely feel as she pulled her arm from his hand.
“Neither does it mean you shouldn’t be careful or unwilling to accept help.”
Zoe’s look met his. Gabe’s didn’t waver. He appeared sincerely concerned. She had to admit it was nice to have someone care about her welfare. So much of her life revolved around helping others, her patients and her mother. Being worried over was a pleasant change. They stepped off the escalator and continued down the concourse. “I promise I’ll be careful.”
She looked ahead. A young woman with a baby strapped to her chest was pushing a rented luggage cart piled high with bags. Standing on the front, holding on, was a boy of about four. Seconds before they passed Zoe, the cart wobbled and the boy fell backward onto the unforgiving floor with a sickening thud. The mother screamed as blood flowed.
Even as the accident registered in Zoe’s mind, Gabe was down on one knee beside the child. The boy’s screeching echoed off the high glass ceiling as the mother pushed Gabe’s shoulder in her effort to reach the boy.
He half turned, catching hold of her as he said in a level, calm manner, “Ma’am, I’m a doctor. Don’t move him. You could make it worse. What’s his name?”
“Bobby. Bobby’s his name,” the woman said between crying huffs.
“Bobby, hush. I’m Dr. Gabe. I’m going to help you.” Gabe continued to speak softly and reassuringly to the boy.
Zoe noticed a diaper bag sitting on top of the woman’s luggage pile. Grabbing it, she opened it and searched until she found a diaper. Laying it as flat as possible on the floor, she carefully slipped it beneath the boy’s head, then held his head steady to stop him from squirming.
Gabe nodded to her then said, “Bobby, I need to see if you’re hurt anywhere else. Your mom’s right here. She can hold your hand, but you must be still.”
The boy’s crying quieted, although tears continued to roll down his face.
A crowd circled them yet Gabe’s full attention remained focused on the child.
The mother moved to the opposite side of the boy, going down on her knees beside Zoe. Taking his small hand, she said, “I’m here, honey.” The baby on her chest started to cry and she patted her on the bottom. “Don’t cry, Bobby. You’re making me and Susie cry too.”
The boy gave her a sad smile. His chest shuddered as he struggled to stop sobbing. The mother’s eyes were wild with fear as she stared expectantly at Gabe.
“Bobby, do you have a dog?” he asked, reaching for and pulling his suitcase to him.
“Uh-huh.” The boy grew quiet and watched Gabe.
Nimbly, Gabe unzipped a side pocket and removed a stethoscope. “What’s his name?”
“Marty.”
“Marty—that’s a good name for a dog. Did you give it to him?”
Zoe shifted closer to the mother. Placing her fingers on the pulse of the boy’s wrist, Zoe checked his heart rate.
“One-ten,” she told Gabe. Thankfully it wasn’t very high.
Zoe looked up to see a security guard hurrying in their direction. When he arrived she said, “I’m a nurse and he’s a doctor.” She nodded in the direction of Gabe. “Call 911. This boy needs to be seen at a hospital.”
Thankfully the man didn’t waste time arguing and spoke into his radio.
Meanwhile Bobby was saying, “No, my mom did. I wanted to name him Purple.”
Gabe grinned. “Purple. That’s an interesting name. Is he a purple dog?” While he spoke to the boy in a low tone, Gabe listened to his heart, checking his pulse and looking into his eyes.
“There’s no such thing as a purple dog,” the boy stated. “It’s my favorite color.”
Gabe chuckled and patted Bobby on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll be playing with Marty soon.” He spoke to the mother. “I think he’ll be fine, but he may have a concussion and need to stay in the hospital overnight for observation.”
Blinking, she swiped away the wetness on one cheek.
“I’ll see that you’re taken care of. Don’t worry,” Gabe assured her.
Seconds later the emergency medical techs arrived. They relieved Zoe and she stood. Her hands were a mess and one of the techs handed her a wet towel to clean them.
Gabe had been tender with Bobby, even able to distract him, which was a talent in itself. He showed promise at being a good father. Caring concern was every bit as evident in his interaction with the boy and mother as it had been during the night they had shared. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to accept him as part of her and the baby’s life. If he was truly serious about it. Her fear was that when reality set in he might change his mind. Right now, he was just being noble.
Gabe was busy giving the EMTs a report about what had happened when Zoe found her bag and headed to the nearest restroom to wash her hands. When she came out, Gabe stood nearby.
She checked her watch and shook her head. “I have to go. It’s almost time for my plane. I have to get home.”
He didn’t look pleased with her putting him off once again. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Okay.” She pulled a card from her purse and handed it to him. “My phone number is on it. ’Bye, Gabe.”
