Читать книгу The Heart of The Beast: A romantic adult fairytale revealing how the power of love can overcome the hardest heart - Susan Kohler - Страница 9

Chapter Two

“No!” Beauty shrieked.

In that instant, all her attempts to appear calm and unafraid were for naught. She struggled to control her sobs as her legs gave out and she slumped once more to the cold stone floor. She raised her teary eyes with tremendous effort, and for the first time deliberately met the Beast’s gaze head on and held his eyes.

What she saw in his eyes both amazed and strangely saddened her. The eyes of the Beast, eyes that were known far and wide to be merciless and cold, filled with cruel rage and hate were instead bleak, touched with pain, filled with loneliness and hopelessness.

“M’lord, I am not a fool. I knew well the peril I faced coming here. Truly, you can and probably will ravage me anytime you feel the urge, and do anything with me, however vicious and cruel, that fills your dark desire. I know I cannot withstand you or refuse you anything, including my own death. That is the power you hold over me, over all of us in the village. It is your privilege by right of conquest and by sheer strength.” She swallowed a few times, still holding his eyes. “I am only a commoner and a woman, a small woman at that. You may take my body and demand anything you want to from me, but there is still one thing you cannot take from me by force, something I can still give or withhold from you only at my own will.”

“What is that?” She’d barely managed to pique his curiosity but it was just enough to bring the question out.

“The thing you claim never to have felt or known, real affection, mayhap even love.” Beauty paused, choosing her words with care. “You can rape me now, ‘tis true, but if you will release my brother unharmed, I promise I will stay with you willingly tonight and do anything you ask, freely and with affection. If you release my brother unharmed you can do anything you want to me: Rape me, beat me, use me in any odious way you choose, and I will still strive to love you and serve you faithfully in any way I possibly can all through the night.”

“All through the night? What if one night isn’t enough for me?” the Beast asked sourly. “What if all the things I want to do to you, to your body and to your very soul, take more than one night? Is the rest of your brother’s life only worth one night of yours?”

“Truly, I meant to put no limits on what I would do for you, M’lord, or how long I would stay with you,” Beauty told him seemingly calmly. “Tis just that it’s well known that you only use a woman for one night. No woman has ever been known to hold your interest any longer than that. Why should I think to be any different from the others?”

“If I were to free your brother, I would ask much more of you than one night in bed, even with your willingness. I would ask that for as long as I want you to serve me, you would do so. I would ask for the use of your body in my bed and for you to service me in any way I wish during the day, either as my lowest servant or as my whore. If I tire of you, I would put you away from me in whatever manner I wish. I may give you to one of my soldiers as a reward for his good service or I may even decide to kill you,” the Beast glared at her sternly. “In other words, Beauty, to save your brother’s life, you must give yourself to me completely and forever. You must become my chattel just like my horse or my dog. Is your brother worth such a sacrifice?”

“Yea, M’lord. I would agree to anything to save him.” Beauty’s voice trembled.

“And knowing I think of you as a possession, could you still do anything I ask freely and with affection as you said you would? Could you even begin to try to love me?” the Beast challenged her.

“M’lord, I give you my word.” Beauty broke away from his gaze and lowered her eyes, her voice was hardly more than a whisper. “And I meant it. I knew it would not be easy.”

For a long moment, the Beast made no reply. Silently, he studied Beauty with a guarded expression as he considered the situation. Against his will, the spark of interest she had ignited within him began to grow. What was it like, the Beast wondered, to bed a woman without terror in her eyes? Without knowing only her pleading and her tears? To have sex with a lass who wasn’t scared and begging for mercy?

Once he’d been at court and soon learned that even the town whores feared him when he sampled their crude wares. They put on a brave face when they saw his purse, but they plied their trade reluctantly and quickly, disappearing as fact as they could.

How could it feel, he wondered, to have someone stand by his side willingly? To have someone he could go to for comfort and companionship, even someone who would come to him for the same. Someone to spend the long winter evenings relaxing with him. Possibly even to have someone reach out for him with affection. Would it be wonderful? Was it even possible or was this just a woman’s trick? He debated whether he could release the boy without being seen as too weak and soft to rule. He decided that he could.

Without a word, he determined it was worth the boy’s life to find out what a willing, affectionate woman was worth. After all, he could always hang the rascal later if he changed his mind.

Keeping his thoughts and longings to himself, the Beast growled, “How could you promise to love me? Lass, you don’t know anything about me except for all the tales you’ve heard. All those wild stories of my cruelty.”

“Are they true?” Beauty asked softly, hesitantly. “Those reports of your cruelty, could they possibly all be true?”

“Most of them, the worst of them, probably are true. I am a very hard and harsh man,” the Beast answered coldly. “Anyway, it makes no difference, I will take you to my bed tonight and then you will know for yourself. But make no mistake, Lass, I will take you with or without releasing your brother, whether you want me or not. It matters little to me how you feel about it. If I’m the monster you believe me to be, can you still promise me your love?”

“I can and will love you, in a small way, for the saving of my brother’s life but ‘tis true it’s not the same deep, abiding love, filled with passion, that’s said to be found sometimes between a woman and a man. It’s not the romantic love that poets sing songs about. I, myself, do know that sort of love truly exists, as my parents felt it for each other, but I’ve never found it. I can, however, promise to give you my admiration, my deepest loyalty, my lasting respect, and even my real affection.”

Unexpectedly, the Beast hid a grin. “I note you didn’t promise to give me your obedience. I want one more promise from you.”

“What more can I promise you, M’lord?” Beauty asked shyly, still shaking. “The obedience I just now failed to mention?”

“Nay, I can assure your obedience without much effort on my part. Be defiant if you like, for a while. A small woman like you is pitifully easy to bring under control. I’ll even enjoy bending you to my will, if you can manage to make it into enough of a challenge. The last promise I want from you is this: I want you to swear never to see any of your family again, even when I tire of you and send you away or give you over to one of my men as a plaything.” The Beast had no faith at all in her promises and protestations of loyalty so he decided to test her, to push her as far as he could.

Bleak despair washed over her. It took a moment for her to manage to say the words, her voice was trembling and her throat seemed frozen shut.

“Yea, M’lord, I swear it,” she whispered in heartfelt anguish.

“Then, I’ll consider it,” he curtly replied. “Be quiet, wench, and let me think.”

Without realizing why, he felt compelled to goad her into backing out of her oath. To prove she was treacherous like all the others in his life had been, men and women both.

There was only one woman who had stayed beside him throughout his life. She was a young widow who once served as a maid in the castle of the knight he was fostered to. At the time she became his maid, she had just recently lost her young son, along with her husband, to the great plague.

The sad young maid, Gwyneth, had taken to the small boy she helped care for. In him, she saw only the loneliness that mirrored her own grief, not the budding cruelty of the Beast. She had mothered him tenderly when she could, but the knight of the castle and the Beast himself made it difficult. Now she was growing older, without a husband or children of her own.

She had returned with the Beast to his father’s castle when he was a grown knight. The Beast even heard rumours that Gwyneth had for a short time been his father’s mistress, as he had begun to recover from the death of his second wife. The Beast never knew or even cared if the rumours were true.

Still, she stayed with the Beast, following him to this castle. She worked hard, managing his castle and worrying over the man he’d become. Gwyneth was the only one who truly cared for him. She was also the only person who felt comfortable enough around the Beast to nag him, and even that was very rare indeed.

Everyone else had deserted him. They had all proven to be shallow and uncaring. If Beauty were to prove truly as loving and steadfast as she appeared to be, then he feared her instinctively, for she was a threat to everything he was raised to believe in. Still he had to know.

He gestured to her clothes strewn about on the stone floor. “Get dressed.”

“M’lord, whatever you decide, may I go to see my brother? Just to say goodbye since I will never see him again once he’s been hung,” Beauty choked out the last words and paused, swallowing several times and breathing deeply before she could continue. “Or, with hope, once he is freed and my promise to you takes effect.”

Beauty rose quickly and pulled on her shift and the loose dress with shaking fingers.

The Beast pondered for a moment then called for a servant, his eyes never leaving Beauty’s.

To her surprise, the servant who answered his summons was known to Beauty from the past. She was so upset that she couldn’t place his name at that moment but he was an older man, probably in his fifties. He was trim and spry with a handsome face, and he was surprisingly well groomed compared to most of the village people Beauty knew.

The servant was dressed in brown hose, a white shirt and a dark brown doublet with no trim. His simple clothes appeared clean and neat, and he seemed to have bathed quite recently, a rarity indeed. He showed no sign of recognizing Beauty, although she learned later that indeed he had. She also soon remembered that his name was Seth, and that he’d once been the personal servant to the old lord.

“Send for the maid, Gwyneth, to clean this girl up and get her in my bedchamber ready for me,” the Beast growled, ignoring the servant’s start of surprise.

He paused, and Beauty’s knees buckled before the Beast continued, “And get word to the stables to release… ” his voice trailed off and he cocked his brow at Beauty.

“Tom.” Beauty supplied quickly, a stunned smile lighting her face for the first time.

“Tom. He’s tied up in the last stall. He’s to go free,” the Beast ordered, mesmerized against his will at the force of Beauty’s smile.

“M’lord,” the stately servant hesitated, almost scared to believe what he’d heard.

He avoided looking at Beauty, now fully realizing why she was there. Without any words, he knew exactly what bargain she’d made and why. A curious mixture of relief and abhorrence filled him. Not that he judged her harshly for the bargain. Knowing her as he did, he knew she had no choice in the matter. He sighed for the old lord, and wondered how such things had come to pass.

“What is it?” The Beast held Beauty’s gaze, amazed, almost speechless, at the joy in her eyes.

“Both of the lads are named Tom,” the quiet servant pointed out.

“Then set them both free!” the Beast bellowed in a sudden temper. “I’m tired of this business and I have better things to do.”

“M’lord,” Beauty asked timidly, repeating her request, “may I see my brother for a moment before I go with the maid?”

“You will return to fill your promise?” the Beast asked.

“You have my word,” Beauty replied.

“I have never trusted in promises, very few men of my acquaintance are worthy of trust and none of the women,” the Beast snarled.

“Then let me prove myself to be the first,” Beauty said calmly. “Truly, I am yours willingly and I do not seek to escape, but I would like to see my brother safe.”

“Then it’s you who does not trust me or my word,” the Beast’s tempered flared quickly and Beauty realized there was still the very real danger of losing her fight to save Tom.

“I do, M’lord, truly. ‘Tis just a woman’s way to want to reassure herself that her loved ones are all safe, that all is aright with them. Also, I would like a moment to calm my nerves before… ” her voice trailed off.

“You said you’d be willing,” the Beast growled, reaching out and grabbing her by the arms.

“M’lord, I am willing, truly,” Beauty stood in his harsh grasp without flinching. She looked him in the eyes and smiled shyly, “But I never claimed not to be nervous, as is a virgin’s right. Even a virgin who marries for love can be nervous the first night. Please, M’lord?”

“All right, but return shortly,” the Beast told her gruffly. “And remember that I can always hang him later, so warn him and be warned yourself: I will only keep this bargain as long as you keep it and as long as he gives me no more problems as he works.”

“You still want him to work in the stables, M’lord?” Beauty was surprised. “After all this?”

“Why not? He does his job well and I wondered who I would find to replace him.” The Beast was surprised at her question, as though a narrow escape from the gallows should not matter a whit to her or to her brother. “Now go!”

“Yes, M’lord.” She turned and moved quickly to follow the servant. “And thank you, M’lord.”

The Beast watched as she walked away, noting the grace of her stride and the sway of her hips. How long, he wondered? How long will it take for me to prove her to be the liar she has to be? How long before she loses her resolve? The game would be fast and furious but he already knew the outcome; Beauty would soon prove to be as inconstant as everyone else in his life.

As soon as they were out of earshot, the servant asked, “Beauty, how is your lady mother?”

“She is very ill,” Beauty told him gently. “I think it’s mainly from sorrow. She misses my father deeply, and she has lost much.”

“Oft I’ve wanted to leave the castle and see her but I wasn’t sure if it would be wise,” he said with quiet dignity. “Or if I would even be welcome.”

“You are always welcome, Seth, but ‘tis true we have as little to do with the castle inhabitants as possible,” she shrugged sadly. “I never thought I would step foot into the place again.”

The servant looked at her gently and said, “I sent the word to Nate about your brother but I was torn apart by it. I both hoped and feared that you would come, Beauty. I fretted over it all day for I knew of no other way for Tom’s life to be spared, but it breaks my heart to see you come to such a state. I feel as if I’ve failed your father.”

“Seth, my old friend, that’s not true,” Beauty told him gently. Her quiet acceptance of the situation had increased as soon as the Beast was out of sight. “Do you disapprove of me?”

“I disapprove of the situation, lass, never of you,” Seth told her gently. “I will strive to help you in any way I can.”

“Thank you, Seth.” She gasped as a thought hit her. “How is it that you had to ask which Tom should be released? You know my brother well.”

The servant shrugged, “I hoped the Beast would be so blinded by your beauty that he would do just what he did. I took a chance that he would let both lads go. The other poor lad had no one to save him. It worked, did it not?” The servant winked as he held the barn door open for her.

A short time later, after a tearful exchange with her brother, Beauty returned to the great hall and presented herself to the maid, Gwyneth. She soon found herself in the knight’s great bedchamber, a large room that seemed to be barren except for a fireplace, a wardrobe against a wall, a small table, a mirror, a chair and a great big bed. There was a large fur rug on the floor in front of the fireplace.

The bed seemed to Beauty to take up all the room. It was a four-poster, made of rich dark wood and covered with deep intricate carving. There was a deep feather mattress, crisp linen sheets, and great piles of fur coverings for warmth and comfort.

The fireplace was already lit against the evening chill. A large metal tub was brought into the room and placed before the fireplace. Men had been ordered to bring hot water to fill the tub.

The maid had brought a silver platter of food with her, tender meats, bread and ripe fruits. She ordered Beauty to eat as they waited for the tub to be filled. Beauty’s nerves were stretched so tight that her stomach rebelled at the thought of food but she had not eaten since early morn. She was hungry and she knew she would need her strength to get through the night ahead. Flashing a grateful smile at the maid, she picked at the food.

When she’d eaten all she could force down her tight throat, Beauty stood beside the tub, submitting herself to the dubious ministrations of the maid. The maid was a middle-aged woman, maybe forty, dressed in a plain, straight grey dress, with white lace at the neck and cuffs. Her brown hair was lightly streaked with grey, and pulled severely back into a tight bun. There was no welcoming light in her soft brown eyes. She seemed to take Beauty’s presence in the castle as just another distraction, a source of still more chores to be done.

She barely spoke to Beauty, and when she did, not in very civilized tones. She barely let the two men finish pouring boiling water into a large metal tub before she stripped Beauty’s clothes right off her body, ripping them, and silently pointed at the steaming bathtub.

Without a word Beauty stepped into the water, visibly flinching at the scalding heat. She gave control of her body over to the austere servant who bathed her, scrubbing her vigorously and roughly all over. The maid then washed and rinsed her long hair. Beauty stood as the maid dried her with a rough towel. The maid towelled her hair, then brushed it dry. Lastly, she rubbed scented oil over Beauty’s skin, frowning as she noted the calluses on Beauty’s hands.

Finishing her silent inspection, the maid finally spoke to Beauty.

She asked coldly, “Who are you Lass? And why are you here?”

“I’m just a peasant from the village,” Beauty answered softly, shyly. “And I’m here to save my brother’s life.”

“Your brother was one of the lads who was supposed to be hanged?” The maid was surprised, muttering, “Queer business that.”

“How so?” Beauty’s interest was piqued and she forgot her nudity.

“Tis a bit of a mystery how the theft came to the master’s attention. No one actually saw the theft and no one noticed any grain missing, so who told the head guard? ’Twas Gerrin himself told the tale to the master,” the maid puzzled. “Anyway that’s not what I was asking you. Who are you?”

“Just one of the villagers. They call me Beauty,” she replied calmly.

“Tis fitting enough,” the maid chuckled almost against her will. “But it’s not your given name, I’ll wager, and you are not just one of the village maidens.”

“I lived there before tonight,” Beauty asserted, uncertain just what this woman knew about her. “In the village.”

“Sure lass, if that’s what you want me to believe.” The maid paused. “Be ye a virgin?”

“Yea.” The reply was soft and nervous, the truthfulness of the claim written all over Beauty’s face.

“Have courage, lass,” the maid said softly. “Many of the stories you’ve heard about my master are not true. He’s a rough man to be sure, but he’s a good man inside. I believe he has love and mercy locked away somewhere inside him but he doesn’t know it yet.”

“How can a man not know when he holds human emotions deep inside his soul?” Beauty puzzled aloud.

“He was raised not to show any emotion at all, except anger and ferocity. Any trace of humanity was soon thrashed out of him. He needs a strong woman who can show him the secrets of the heart, one who can teach mercy to the Beast. ’Tis a job that will take a great deal of inner strength.” The older woman looked Beauty over carefully and poured her a glass of dark Spanish wine.

Her manner gentled and her tone softened. “You just may be the one.”

“What one?” Beauty refused to see the woman’s point and ignored the proffered glass.

“God’s truth, the woman who can tame the Beast!” The woman smiled softly as Beauty gasped. “It’ll be the hardest thing you’ve ever tried. Take the wine.” She paused until Beauty did so. “You’ll need the courage of a legion of fighting men and the patience of a saint, and all the endurance you can muster. You might be able to do it though. I’ve a feeling.”

“Why would I try to tame the Beast? Right now, I just want to survive the night,” Beauty said softly, sipping the rich wine. “I want to serve the Beast well enough so that he doesn’t regret the bargain we made.”

“Someone has to reach his soul, to find the man within. With courage, you will be the one. Me name’s Gwyneth. Seek me out in the kitchen in the morning if you need aught. And drink at least one more glass of the wine before he comes to you, maybe two, but no more,” the maid told her softly before putting a soft, sheer gown of linen and delicate white lace over Beauty’s head and leading her to the bed. “Two or three glasses may help ye, but any more would truly make things worse.”

The maid waited for Beauty to get into the bed before she stepped out into the hall and ordered the men in to empty the tub. Alone in the huge bed waiting for the Beast to come to and take her, Beauty was more than nervous, she was truly scared. She sipped a second glass of wine as she looked within herself, deep into her heart and soul. She decided that the only way she could keep her promise to the Beast and her own self-respect was to accept the promise she’d made, within her own heart and mind at least, as a marriage vow.

After she spent time with the Beast she knew she would be ruined, far too much in disgrace to ever marry another man anyway. To her, for the sake of her sanity, this had to be a marriage and she would honour it as such even though there was no priest and even though to the Beast it would be a mere dalliance. Her resolve was firm as she came to a kind of peace within her own mind. As the maid had suggested, a third glass of wine helped.

Waiting alone in the huge bed, she clung to the thought of her brother and remembered their hurried conversation earlier in the main barn.

The barn was a large wooden shed, with stalls for more than twenty horses, a hayloft, and piles of deep clean straw and sweet smelling hay. A room off to one side held tack and armour, while off to the other side stood a forge where several blacksmiths constantly laboured over the making of horseshoes, swords and arrowheads, along with other weapons and crude tools.

Both of the condemned men were held deep in the far end of the stables. She found her brother Tom chained to the wall in a stall filled with dirty hay. He and the other Tom, a lanky youth, were both considered too lowly and unworthy to even be taken to the dungeon. Both of the men had soiled their clothes from being tied up all day unable to undo their pants, and the stench in the stall was foul. As soon as they were unchained, the other Tom ran home, leaving Beauty alone with her brother.

Tom was covered with filth. He had been beaten almost beyond Beauty’s recognition. His handsome face was covered with bruises and his dark brown eyes were filled with despair and fear. His dark blonde hair was dirty and matted. Tom loved his sister dearly and once he learned of the bargain, he had pleaded with her to leave him to his fate and save herself but she held fast. She could not bear to see him hung. He wanted her to run but she refused to flee.

“He’d just hang us both! You know there is no escape from the lord,” Beauty sobbed. “Furthermore, I gave him my vow. You know I cannot break it.”

“I know you always honour your word, Beauty, but I don’t want you to end up like Molly!” Tom protested, tears in his eyes. “I cannot leave you to the Beast. It would kill our mother.”

“I can only hope and pray that I don’t meet the same fate as Molly. You know that I have to be the one who stays here, brother. First, because I love you, but also because I have looked at the facts with a cold reason. See it like this: If you are hung, we will not be able to keep from starving, lest I turn into a whore. If I stay with the Beast, you will be able to provide for Nate and mother, and only one of us will be lost. True, he will certainly disgrace and dishonour me, he may even kill me, but as long as the three of you are safe I know I will, in some small way, manage to be content.” Beauty said before adding cautiously, “I do believe however, against all reason, that all will turn out well in the end.”

“Sister!” Tom was shocked. “Could it be that you are attracted to the Beast? Do you have soft feelings for this monster of a man?”

“I confess that he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen, brother, but I am deathly afraid of him. He scares me with his smallest glance. Indeed, he is almost inhuman, with no trace of compassion or mercy in him.” Beauty lowered her gaze. “Nevertheless, I did give him my promise. I will strive to love him and to give him my affection for showing you mercy. I will try to keep my word, in all ways. Tis true, I fear him greatly but I made my choice and I gave my word. I’m glad to be able to save you. Pray for me, please God, pray that it will all be well for me.”

“I’ll pray for you, Beauty.” Tom hugged her tight before he let her go reluctantly, ignoring the tears in her eyes. “And I’ll work to find a way to save you.”

“Do not. Do not even think of it,” Beauty replied firmly. “And please God, Tom, do not attempt any vengeance. ’Twould be the death of us all, Nate and our mother too.” She held his eyes and put all her love into her words. “From this night on, I will be dead to you and our family, and disgraced as well. My only salvation, Tom, is you. As long as you are safe, dear brother, I will find some happiness. Go home now and see to our mother and Nate but remember to return on the morrow to work here.”

“How can I work here knowing what must be happening to you inside the castle?” Tom muttered.

“You have to, else our mother and Nate will surely perish. It might be that your job will even give us a chance to see each other once in a while, even though as of now he commands me to swear never to see any of my family again. It’s a small barn, and mayhap I’ll get to ride with him sometimes,” Beauty whispered, hugging him close. “Go now. Be strong and pray for me that I’m all right.”

The poignant memory of those few precious moments with her brother strengthened her resolve to please the Beast. Beauty waited in his bed, dreading the arrival of the Beast, and yet hoping he’d come soon so that she could find out what fate held in store for her. The wine helped a bit but the waiting was fearful and seemed to last forever. Before long however, she heard his footsteps, sure and heavy, coming up the hall. In that instant, it seemed to Beauty that the wait had not been long enough, that the Beast had come to her all too soon.