Читать книгу The Summer Of Sunshine And Margot - Susan Mallery, Susan Mallery - Страница 13

Chapter Five

Telling herself that everyone was scared on the first day of class wasn’t really helping. Sunshine alternated between wanting to throw up and simply turning her car around and heading back to Declan’s house. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t college material. No one had expectations that she was going to make anything of her life and no one would be surprised if she chickened out now.

All incredibly depressing thoughts that did nothing for her self-confidence, but certainly put her current circumstances in perspective. Was she really going to give up before she’d even started? Was she so pathetic she couldn’t face a beginner math class?

“I’m doing this,” she muttered to herself as she pulled into the sprawling parking lot at Pasadena City College. “I’m going to be just fine.”

That decided, Sunshine grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, then locked her car and started purposefully for her class.

She’d looked at a map online and had a basic idea of where to go. She joined throngs of other students making their way toward the various buildings. Some were by themselves, but several traveled in groups. She eyed the other women, checking out what they’d decided to wear on the cool, gloomy morning.

She was relieved to see her jeans, sweater and boots fit in just fine. At thirty-one she was older than nearly everyone she saw but at least she wasn’t wearing something inappropriate.

She found her building, then made her way to the classroom. She braced herself for she wasn’t sure what, then went inside.

There were a lot of desks in rows and nearly half of the desks were occupied. She picked one in the second to the back row and slid into the seat. After pulling out a notebook and a pen, she wasn’t sure what to do. Everyone around her was either talking to their neighbor or on their phones. She got out hers and pretended to read an email, all the while fighting nerves.

At exactly nine-thirty, a petite, gray-haired woman walked into the classroom. She wore black pants and a flowy blouse that she’d tucked in. She set her briefcase on the teacher’s desk, then looked at the class.

“Settle down. I’m Professor Rejefski,” she said, her voice clear and strong. “This is Math 131. You’re in this class because you completed the prerequisite or you tested into the class.”

Sunshine had no idea if she was supposed to be writing any of this down. She glanced around and saw most of the students were still on their phones, which seemed really rude.

The professor waited a couple of seconds before saying, “If you need to use your cell phone during class, you will step outside. If I catch you using your cell phone during class, you will be required to leave for the rest of the session. If that happens more than twice in the semester, you will be dropped from my class. I honestly don’t care how close we are to the end of the semester or what your grade is or how much you need to pass this class. Do I make myself clear?”

Nearly all the students immediately slid their phones into their backpacks or pockets. One girl kept on texting. The professor moved in front of her and waited until the student looked up.

“Enough is enough. We’re not going to get along,” she said, her voice pleasant. “You should take someone else’s class.”

The girl’s eyes widened. She looked maybe eighteen, although Sunshine would have guessed younger. “But I need this class at this time.”

“If I see your cell phone again, you’re out. Am I clear?”

The girl nodded and put her phone into her handbag.

Professor Rejefski returned to the front of the classroom. “We have a lot of material to cover. If you want to pass this course, you’ll need to keep up. Do your homework and come to class prepared. I have no problem answering questions but if you aren’t getting the material, either use the math lab or attend the TA sessions. The times and locations are posted online. This is not high school, people. This is college. You are adults and I will treat you like adults. I don’t want to hear about your personal problems, I don’t want excuses and if you’re just here because your parents are making you, then I suggest you take this class with someone else.”

“What a bitch.”

The low voice came from somewhere to Sunshine’s left. She didn’t dare look and see who had spoken—she was too busy fighting nausea. She hadn’t expected to be coddled, but this class was sounding more like boot camp than higher education.

“The college has a strict policy on plagiarism and cheating. I’m sure this won’t be a surprise, but if you are caught cheating you will be expelled. There are no exceptions. On the day of our tests, you will each bring a blank blue book to class. I will take them from you in exchange for one that I have brought.” She smiled. “You will be expected to show your work on every problem. There will be pop quizzes. Please make sure you have blank Scantrons, Form 100, with you at all times.”

She paced back and forth in front of the class. “What else? I will randomly collect the homework. If you have completed the homework, you will receive bonus points. At the end of the semester, if you are within ten points of a higher grade, bonus points will be added to your total points and could push you up to the higher grade. Any questions?”

No one raised a hand.

“Excellent,” Professor Rejefski said. “Then let’s get started.”

Two and a half hours later, when the class finally ended, Sunshine felt as if she’d run a mental marathon. She was exhausted and her head was spinning. They’d covered most of the first chapter. While she understood factors and the order of operations, she was a little shaky on word problems. She’d made a note to find out when the TA sessions were, whatever those were. She was going to have to go to all of those. And maybe the math lab. Hiring a tutor wasn’t out of the question.

She glanced at the test schedule the professor had handed out and then slipped it into her backpack along with her notes. She told herself that all she had to do was get to her car and drive home. She could be overwhelmed there. In private. Having a breakdown in the classroom was not a good idea.

She settled her backpack over her shoulder and walked to the classroom door. A tall, lanky guy moved next to her.

“Hey,” he said with a nod. “I’m Justin.”

“Sunshine.”

“Hey.”

She offered him a tight smile as they walked outside.

“So I haven’t seen you around here.” He half moved in front of her. “Are you new?”

While she heard the words, it took her a second for them to actually sink in. Someone was talking to her. She needed to respond. Her freak-out about the class wasn’t exactly visible to anyone but her.

“Hi. Yes. Today’s my first day on campus.”

“I thought so. I would have noticed you before. You’re hot.”

What? “Okay. Thanks.” She went to step past him. Justin blocked her effort.

“I’m having a pool party at my house this afternoon. Just friends and beer. We’ll barbecue burgers and stuff. You should definitely be there.”

The statement was so at odds with her sense of being completely out of her element that she could only stare at him.

“Excuse me?”

He flashed her a smile. “You’ll have fun. I promise.”

She shifted her backpack to her other shoulder, then actually turned her attention on Justin. He was good-looking, in a very young, teenage kind of way. He’d yet to fill out and he had the eager air of a happy puppy.

“How old are you?” she asked bluntly.

He grinned. “Old enough.”

She waited.

His grin faded. “Twenty-three.”

She waited some more.

“Eighteen.”

“That’s what I thought. Thanks, Justin, but no.”

She moved around him and headed for her car. Puppy Justin chose not to follow, which was heartening. Now if only she could get rid of her sense of impending doom. Telling herself she could do it, she could figure out college, wasn’t working any kind of magic. She was scared and apprehensive and not the least bit confident about her abilities.

“Change is always hard,” she murmured to herself as she drove out of the parking lot. “I have to do this. I have to.”

It was the only way for her to be more. If she didn’t want to believe herself, she had Justin as an illustration. She wanted to be more than the girl with boobs and an ass. She wanted to be proud of herself. It all started with this math class and by God, she was going to get through it.

Or so she hoped.

Bianca had left a note on Margot’s door requesting they start at ten in the morning. Despite her late night, Margot was up at six, and showered and dressed by six-thirty. She waited until seven to go down to breakfast where, as promised, a small buffet had been set up in the dining room.

Alec was already there, eating his breakfast and reading the paper. An actual paper—not a digital version—which made sense, given what he did for a living. He looked up when she entered.

“Good morning.”

She nodded. “Morning.”

And that was it. He returned his attention to his paper, she collected her breakfast and took it upstairs. When she finished, she returned her dishes to the kitchen before going over her lesson plan for the first few days. Mostly she and Bianca would get to know each other. It was very likely that she would have to modify her lesson plans as she figured out how Bianca liked to learn and what she most liked to do.

Promptly at ten, Bianca appeared in the lounge. She wore yoga pants and a sweatshirt. Her dark blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wasn’t wearing any makeup, yet she still looked so beautiful as to be otherworldly.

“Good morning,” Margot said, standing. “I’m excited to get started. How are you feeling?”

“Nervous mostly. I’m not sure why I’m doing this. It’s really a ridiculous thing, when you think about it. How can you possibly help me?”

First-day jitters weren’t uncommon. Margot smiled reassuringly. “Of course you can always change your mind. Let’s try this for a few days and see how it goes. If it’s not working, then I’ll completely understand.”

Bianca tilted her head. “You’re not going to try to talk me into staying the course?”

“Not my style.”

She relaxed visibly. “Good.” She pointed to the window. “It’s foggy out. Let’s go walk in the garden. We can pretend we’re in London and we’re spies on a mission for Winston Churchill.”

Margot’s first thought was that if they were spying for Churchill, they wouldn’t be in London. They’d be behind enemy lines somewhere in France or Germany, but she sensed saying that would spoil the moment.

“Let me grab a jacket and we’ll head out.”

The fog was thick and damp and they could only see a few feet in front of them. Margot knew that on her own she would get lost in a matter of seconds, which might be what Bianca intended. But rather than try to remember which way they’d come, Margot told herself to relax and enjoy the experience. Even if she did get lost, eventually the fog would lift and she would find her way back to the house.

Bianca linked arms with her. “The fog always makes me think of Rod,” she said with a laugh. “He never liked it. Said it made him sad, which was always funny to me. The man is from Scotland.”

“Rod?”

“Rod Stewart. I met him when I was very young.” She thought for a second. “Maybe nineteen or twenty. I was in Saint-Tropez and there was a party. Back then there was always a party. We had a wild week together. He was just so charming.”

Margot wasn’t sure if the story was informational or meant to impress. They were walking along a stone path lined with plants, bushes and trees. The fog seemed thicker and the dampness seeped into her jeans and through her jacket.

“Let’s talk about what we’re going to do together,” she said.

Bianca immediately stiffened and pulled away. “If we must.”

Margot stopped and looked at her. “I’m not here to make you uncomfortable or put you in a situation where you feel foolish. My job is to help you in any way I can. I want this to be enjoyable and informative. Would it help if I told you how I work?”

Bianca’s gaze was wary at best. Margot half expected her to bolt.

“It might,” Bianca said. “Tell me.”

“Maybe we should go inside where it’s not so cold.”

Bianca surprised her by linking arms again. “I know somewhere better.”

They continued walking, then turned onto another path. Up ahead Margot saw a structure. As they got closer, she realized it was a greenhouse filled with exotic flowers. They went in through a glass door.

The first thing she noticed was the fragrance. It was powerful but not overwhelming, as if the scents from the thousands of flowers somehow blended into a beautiful singular perfume. The temperature was comfortable, maybe seventy or seventy-five degrees.

“Over here,” Bianca said, leading the way to a seating area in the middle of the greenhouse. Wicker furniture formed a circle. Overstuffed cushions offered comfortable surfaces. There was a low coffee table and a bistro table and chairs.

“What is this place?” she asked. “It’s wonderful.”

“Isn’t it? Alec hired the most amazing landscape architect a few years back. The greenhouse had always been here, but it wasn’t used for anything. Now there are all these flowers. I love to come here to read or think. Especially when it’s foggy. It’s like we have our own special place, away from the rest of the world.”

Margot had to agree. She had the thought that she would love to bring a sleeping bag and spend the night in the greenhouse. With the flowers and the night sky, it would be quite the experience.

She returned her attention to the job at hand. Once she and Bianca were seated, she leaned forward, deliberately relaxing her body language.

“I thought we’d begin by talking about Cardigania. The history of its customs as well as what the culture is like today. Their basic industries, areas of growth, demographics. That sort of thing. I’d like for us to brainstorm different events you think you’ll be attending with Wesley. We can talk about what you might wear and who you’d meet. During those sessions we’ll come up with things for you to talk about and I’ll help you become familiar with phrases and strategize ways to incorporate their various customs. None of this is formal. We can switch from topic to topic organically. I do have a workbook I’d like you to consider using. It’s more structured and we can go through it together.”

Bianca wrinkled her nose. “I hate being flawed. Real life is messy. I prefer pictures where everything can be airbrushed.”

“You hardly need airbrushing. You’re luminous in person. I’m not sure a photograph can capture that.”

Bianca’s eyes filled with tears. “What a lovely thing to say.” She blinked. “Still, there are flaws. I have to do this for Wesley. The Cardiganian ambassador to China was recalled for having an affair. That’s so ordinary a thing to do. I’m not sure I could ever be that ordinary. Wesley says I’ll be fine, but what if I’m not? I don’t want to cost him his career.”

Margot had learned that nearly everyone was apprehensive when she started working with them. “Would you be comfortable taking out my appendix?”

“What? You can’t ask me that! It’s a ridiculous question.”

“Why?”

“I’m not a doctor.”

“You’re right. Knowing how to perform surgery is something a person has to learn. It’s a skill—not intuitive. No one is born knowing how to do something like that.” She smiled. “That’s all this is. Learning a new skill. I wouldn’t know the first thing about acting, but for you, it’s easy. You wouldn’t have to wonder if you could do it, you’d jump right into the role. You have your process and you’re confident in your abilities. My job is to make you confident when it comes to dealing with Wesley’s lifestyle. Whether you’re meeting a factory worker or a prime minister, there are ways to be appropriate and genuine while still being yourself.”

Margot shrugged. “A lot of it is just plain silly. Like the way to set a table for a formal dinner. There are rules that sometimes make no sense. We’ll study them so you’ll know how to navigate state dinners. None of this is hard. It’s time consuming and requires some learning, but only because you haven’t had the experiences before.”

Bianca relaxed. “Like taking out an appendix.”

“Exactly. Now how did you meet Wesley?”

Bianca leaned back in her chair and sighed. “It was just one of those things. I had a meeting downtown. I never go there, but that day I had to. When I was finished, I walked back to the parking garage and on the way, I passed a dog park.” Her smile turned impish. “I do love dogs so I went in to pet a few. This cute Boston terrier came running up to me. He was so friendly and handsome.”

“You don’t have a dog of your own?”

“Oh, I’ve never had a pet. I wouldn’t be a good pet parent. I did all right with Alec, but only until he was a teenager. Then he went to live with his grandparents. It was the best thing for him.” Her tone turned wistful.

Margot wondered if Bianca had wanted her son to go, or if she’d been given a choice.

“Was the handsome dog Wesley’s?” she asked.

“It was. His name is Bruno and while I was loving on him, Wesley came over and introduced himself to me. We took one look at each other and just knew.”

“Love at first sight.”

“It was. For both of us.”

“Do you experience that a lot?”

“Sometimes.” Her smile returned. “The best loves are the ones where you know right away, don’t you think? But it’s never been like this before. Never so powerful or strong.” She laughed. “I haven’t tried to change myself for anyone else.” Her laughter faded. “Alec always wanted me to be different. He never said anything, but I could tell. Especially as he got older. I disappointed him.”

Margot thought about Bianca sleeping with Alec’s best friend when they were both still at boarding school. Not exactly a topic she was going to bring up.

“Why do you think you disappoint him?” she asked instead.

“It’s just who I am.” Bianca sprang to her feet and spun in a circle. “I didn’t eat breakfast and I’m starving. Let’s go raid the kitchen. Then you can tell me all about the special Cardiganian sheep.”

Before Margot could respond, Bianca was gone, running out the door and into the garden. The fog had mostly lifted by now so she could see her until Bianca turned the corner and was lost from view.