Читать книгу Best Of My Love - Susan Mallery, Susan Mallery - Страница 10

CHAPTER THREE

AMBER DUTTON CLOSED her eyes and made a low moaning sound at the back of her throat. “You’re killing me.”

Shelby did her best not to preen. Impressing her customers was one thing, but impressing Amber was harder. Amber had owned Ambrosia Bakery for over ten years. She knew the business inside and out and she’d tasted more than her share of chocolate mousse.

Amber broke off a piece of the dark chocolate shell that held the mousse and put it in her mouth. She let it melt on her tongue before swallowing. “Amazing. You made these, too?”

Shelby nodded. “It’s not that difficult. I’ve been working on the recipe for a while. I thought we could try adding more upscale desserts to the inventory. Maybe start on certain days to see if there’s any interest. With the city’s online connection, we could send out an email to men, suggesting the high-end desserts as a special surprise to take home to the women in their lives.”

“We just have to give out a few samples and we’ll be flooded with interest.” Amber took another bite of the mousse. “This is going straight to my hips and I genuinely don’t care.” She pointed with her spoon. “I thought that bread you did last week was the best new thing, but this is better.”

“I have a lot of ideas.”

“Hiring you that first day was the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”

Amber dug her spoon into the mousse. Shelby smiled as she basked in pride and happiness. She loved the creative side of her job. Back at her small apartment, she had an idea file overflowing with different items she wanted to try. Cupcakes and brownies, mousses and breads. On her days off she often played around with recipes. Finding the exact combination of ingredients, the right presentation and flavors took time. But the work was so fun and fulfilling.

Culinary school had been a revelation for her. She’d discovered that there were other crazy people who dreamed up recipes. She’d loved the technical classes as much as the practical information. She’d wanted to know more and more. Getting her first job had made her giddy. Then her mom had gotten sick and everything had changed.

Being trapped in that house, knowing her father was going to find that vulnerable moment and hurt her, had left her feeling shattered. While the bruises and welts would heal, every day that she was with him had drained her spirit, and she’d worried about that a lot more than the damage he would do to her body. Having Angel and Ford show up when they did had saved her. The invitation to go to Fool’s Gold had come with an introduction to Amber. Working in the bakery had been exactly what she’d needed.

Now she was a part owner and there were so many possibilities. Next on her bucket list was having Aidan agree to her wild plan so she could complete her healing and move on with her life.

Amber finished the mousse and dark chocolate shell, then licked her fingers. “I’m going to have to walk an extra hour on the treadmill to burn off those calories and it was so worth it.”

“You don’t have to do anything to burn off the calories,” Shelby told her. “You always look great.”

Her business partner—a tall, curvy, dark-skinned woman with beautiful eyes and long braids—laughed. “If only that were true. I passed forty nearly two years ago. I’m fighting gravity and a slowing metabolism, but I’m determined to win.” She walked around to the front of the display case. “The blue-and-white cookies are adorable.”

“I thought they’d be a quirky addition for the week.”

Patience had finally given birth to her son two days before. Shelby had decided to make some baby-inspired cookies. There were little ducks and small rattles and a square frosted cookie like a baby block. The latter had taken a lot of time, so it wasn’t a practical addition to their everyday menu, but she’d had fun with it.

“Maybe we could talk to Dellina,” Shelby said. “Show her some samples and see if she wanted to offer the custom cookies to her clients.”

Dellina Ridge was an events planner. She handled everything from weddings to corporate functions. Shelby had been trying to start a business relationship with her since she’d been hired at the bakery. Although Amber wasn’t opposed to the idea, she also wasn’t that enthused. Shelby told herself she could see the other woman’s point. The bakery did really well already. Amber had an established business in the town where she’d grown up. Why do more?

But Shelby couldn’t help wanting to expand things. There were so many possibilities.

“You exhaust me with your enthusiasm,” Amber told her with a laugh. “Even so, I’m starting to see your point about working with Dellina. We could do custom work for her. It would be more time, but we could charge more. My biggest concern is the labor. We’d need extra help and I’m not sure where we’d get it. We don’t need anyone on a daily basis, so this would be by the job. That’s hard to find.”

“You’re right. Let me think about it. There has to be a solution.”

Amber sighed. “To be that young and enthusiastic,” she said with a sigh. “I’m envious. You work on the problem and I’ll go pay our vendors. We’ll meet in a couple of weeks and discuss it all. How does that sound?”

“Perfect.”

Amber took a step toward the back office, then paused. She put her hand on her stomach. “I’m having the weirdest sensations lately. I just don’t feel right.”

Shelby didn’t like that sound of that. “What do you mean?”

“Things are off in my tummy. I keep thinking it’s going to be my time of the month, but it’s not. My hormones are a mess.” She grimaced. “I can’t be going through the change, can I? I’m way too young. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.” She smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. And if I’m not, I’ll eat more of your mousse.”

“It’s in the refrigerator in the back.”

Amber groaned. “I so didn’t need to know that. Now I’m going to be thinking about it all day.”

Shelby watched her go and hoped everything was all right. Probably just a stomach bug, she told herself.

Before she could get serious about worrying more, the door opened and a very pregnant Isabel Hendrix waddled in. Shelby looked at her and did her best not to wince. It wasn’t that Isabel was so very far along as the fact that she was carrying triplets.

Her friend groaned. “Yes, I know. I’m a whale. And one of the really big ones. Which, in case you were wondering, is a blue whale. They can grow to over ninety feet. Unlike the smaller killer whales that tend to top out at thirty feet.”

Shelby stared at her. “How do you know that?”

Isabel grinned. “Very random, huh? And impressive. I mentioned being a whale to Felicia and she gave me a brief lecture on the species.”

Not a surprise, Shelby thought. Felicia was some kind of genius who knew just about everything. She organized all the festivals in town with a precision that left most of the citizens both dizzy and appreciative.

Isabel rested her right hand on her large belly. “You know why I’m here.”

“I do and I have two loaves put aside for you.”

“Thank goodness. I swear I would have started sobbing if you hadn’t.” She shook her head. “There is so something wrong with me.”

“No, there isn’t. You’re pregnant and dealing. Give yourself a break.”

Shelby had never been pregnant, but if Isabel was anything to go by, the cravings were powerful. Her friend had developed a love for pretzel bread that bordered on fanatical. Two months before, the bakery had run out and Isabel had cried piteously. Shelby had felt so badly about the upset that she’d stayed late, baking a batch. When she’d delivered it, Isabel had cried again, this time out of joy.

Talk about powerful weapons, she thought now. If someone learned to control hormones they could rule the world.

“I have the bread on the baking schedule,” she told her friend. “We’ll always have it for you. And if we happen to run out, I have a half-dozen loaves of dough in the freezer.”

Isabel rubbed her belly. “I’m sorry to be such a freak. I can’t seem to help it. You’re very good to me and I owe you. Seriously, if there’s anything you ever need, tell me and I’m there. If I’m busy changing the three or four thousand diapers I’m going to have to deal with every week, I’ll send Ford.”

An impressive offer, Shelby thought, considering Ford was a successful businessman and former navy SEAL. She doubted there was anything he couldn’t accomplish.

“You’re on,” she said. “I will call you first in a crisis.” For a second she thought about asking Isabel if she knew Aidan very well. They’d grown up in the same town and were about the same age. But asking the question probably meant explaining why and she wasn’t ready to share her slightly offbeat plan with anyone else. Not until Aidan had said if he was game or not.

She mentally crossed her fingers that he would see that she was right about both of them. Six months of being friends wasn’t a huge hardship and at the end of the time, they could both be healed. A worthy goal. But would he see it that way?

She had no way of knowing, so rather than dwell on the what-ifs, she got Isabel her bread and told herself she would hear when she would hear. If he told her no, there were other men she could approach. None immediately came to mind, but now that she knew the best way to move on with her life, she wasn’t going to let anything stop her.

* * *

AIDAN DID A second check of the equipment, making sure bindings were secure and edges clean and smooth after the last trek. Taking novices out on their first snowshoeing adventure was both fun and stressful—the former for them, the latter for him. He had a perfect safety record and there was no way he wanted to risk that.

The weather was on his side. The reports were for the temperatures staying well below freezing. The trails he used for beginners had a nice base of snow without a lot of ice. More snow was predicted. After the mostly dry winter last year, extra snowpack was welcome news.

Aidan put the snowshoes back on the rack, then made sure the door leading outside was locked before he returned to the office.

Aidan’s mother had started Mitchell Adventure Tours when her children had been little—mostly to provide some steady income for the family. His father’s volatile personality combined with heavy drinking had meant dangerous outbursts. Not in the way Shelby had endured, he thought. Ceallach didn’t hit his children. Instead he turned his temper toward his other creations. Because he was an artist who worked with glass, a couple of hours of throwing and breaking could destroy months’ worth of commissions. Despite his fame and the amount people paid for his pieces, there were times when money was tight. His mother had filled in the gaps.

At first she’d offered a few walking tours of the city. Other local businesses had pitched in by recommending her to tourists. Eventually she’d started driving small groups around in the family minivan. As Del, his oldest brother, and Aidan had become teens, they’d pitched in.

Although Del was expected to take over the family business, Aidan had been the one to step up. He’d quickly grown the company, broadening the offerings and taking groups camping and fishing in the summer. Winter sports had followed. He’d bought out his mom nearly eight years ago and had added “Adventure” to the name.

Four years ago he’d moved the company to its current location. The new building had a big reception area with lots of wall space for maps, pictures of their excursions and a list of the tours the company offered. He had a private office in back, and there was a large room for the staff. In the back was the equipment storage, along with his repair shop. The equipment he bought was expensive and he believed in keeping it in good shape.

He walked into the office, where Fay Riley was handing over tickets to a group of twentysomethings. College kids, he thought. Here for a day of snowshoeing.

They looked to be in shape, which helped, but they were also going to be a handful. They always were. Unlike his older customers, the college crowd rarely listened. He made a mental note to make sure he brought enough GPS trackers for everyone. No one was getting lost on his watch.

Fay was in her late thirties and a relatively new transplant to Fool’s Gold. She and her husband had ended up settling in the area after their daughter, Kalinda, had been badly burned and started treatment with a burn specialist at the local hospital. Rather than return to their hometown, they’d decided to stay close to her doctor. Fay had started working for Aidan part-time and was now the office manager. She was the perfect combination of organized and mothering. Not only did she manage the schedule, she was great with the summer help he hired every year.

“They’ll be fun,” she said, motioning to the college students studying the pictures on the wall. “You head out first thing in the morning. It’s a six-hour tour. They wanted longer, but I told them to start slow.”

“I’m surprised they listened.”

“I can be persuasive.”

Aidan grinned. “You mean bossy.”

“That, too.”

Fay had told him once that her daughter’s horrible accident had changed her in ways she couldn’t explain. She’d had to learn to be strong. To make demands. To face the unthinkable and do it in a way that kept up Kalinda’s spirits. He supposed that life’s adversities offered a fork in the road, so to speak. Either you learned your lesson and were a better person for it, or you got crushed.

He’d been successful at everything else he’d put his mind to—his current situation wasn’t going to be any different. He didn’t like who he’d become, so he was going to change. Find a better way.

“The blonde is pretty,” Fay added playfully in a low voice. “Last I saw, you were on a blonde kick. Of course, redheads and brunettes are nice, too.”

He didn’t bother glancing at the group. “No, thanks.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Aren’t you feeling well?”

“I’m fine. I’m not going to do that anymore.”

Her expression turned quizzical. “I don’t understand.”

The college students left. Aidan leaned against the counter. “I’m not going to date tourists anymore.”

“You don’t date them. You do them. Or whatever it’s called. Hook up. It’s not a relationship.”

A blunt assessment made all the more uncomfortable by the honesty behind it. “I’m giving up women.”

Fay laughed. The sound was light and happy. She touched his arm. “Oh, honey, I don’t think so. You, give up women? That’s not possible.”

He resisted the need to step back. “I can do it. I want to. I’m changing.”

She laughed again. “Uh-huh. I’d pay money to see that. I give you a week. Maybe two. Then you’ll be seducing the next pretty tourist so fast, you’ll break the sound barrier.” She was still chuckling when she walked into the storeroom.

Aidan knew that Fay liked him a lot. She did a good job of running things, but more than that, she cared about him and trusted him. Last year, he’d been the one to teach Kalinda to ski the few weeks they’d had snow. Because of her burns, she had lots of scar tissue that limited her movements. But she’d managed to figure it out and he’d been right beside her when she’d taken her first run down the mountain.

So he knew that Fay’s teasing came from a place of affection. But it still bothered him that she didn’t think he could manage a little self-control. He wasn’t that much of a dog, was he?

He dismissed the question as soon as he thought it. He could do anything he put his mind to. He was a decent guy who’d lost his way. He could change and he was going to. He knew why he’d gotten where he was, which meant changing it couldn’t be that hard.

Shelby’s offer loomed large, as it had since she’d made it. He had to admit there was a certain logic to her plan. He liked the idea of being friends with a woman. He wasn’t sure how to go about it, but maybe they could figure it out together. Plus he would be helping her and that made him feel good. Maybe if he was a part of her healing, he would make up for past behavior. Like karmic justice.

With Shelby, he could learn to see women as people. Not just objects of desire. He would grow and change. That would be good.

“I’m going out for a while,” he yelled toward the back of the building. “I have my cell.”

“I’ll call if I need you,” Fay told him.

She said something else, but he didn’t hear her. Nor did he bother asking her to repeat it. No doubt she’d made some crack about his inability to change. Well, he was going to prove her wrong. He was going to prove everyone wrong.

He left his truck in its parking spot and walked across town. Midweek in the winter meant fewer tourists. Aidan had to admit he enjoyed the quiet times. Yes, there was less business, but sometimes it was nice when it was just the residents. That would change soon enough. The festivals came regularly, even in winter. And with them came the crowds.

He crossed the street and headed for the bakery. He was going to tell Shelby yes. He would be friends with her for six months and use that time to break his pattern with women. Then he would start over—a different kind of guy. Better. As if he’d grown up with sisters or something.

He walked into the bakery. Shelby stood at the counter. As soon as he saw her, he was struck by how delicate she looked. A headband held her hair off her face while the back was caught up in some kind of nearly invisible hairnet. She wore a silver-and-white-striped apron over jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. She was helping Eddie Carberry pick out cookies.

“Do those have a lot of butter?” the eightysomething woman asked, pointing at a sugar cookie that had been dipped in chocolate. “My doctor told me to watch my cholesterol. I told him I’m too old and he can watch it for me. Now I’m feeling defiant, so I want cookies with butter and later I’ll have a steak.”

Shelby’s mouth twitched, as if she was holding in a smile. “That’s one way to handle it,” she murmured.

“No one can live on salads and nonfat dairy,” Eddie informed her. “Because that’s not living at all. It’s surviving. Life’s too short. Now give me a couple of brownies to go with the cookies.” The old lady, dressed in a bright violet tracksuit with a matching down coat, looked him up and down. “You’re working out more these days.”

He was, but how did she know?

“Gladys and I see you on the treadmill when we’re at the gym for our water aerobics class. You should wear tighter clothes.”

“Ma’am?”

Eddie rolled her eyes. “You know what I’m saying, Aidan. You’ve got the goods. Let’s see them. Share the bounty. Take off your shirt once in a while. Put on tighter shorts.” She sighed heavily. “Young people today. You’re not as bright as my generation. That’s for sure.”

Eddie paid for her treats and left. Aidan stared after her.

“I honest to God don’t know what to say,” he admitted.

Shelby laughed. “I so want to be her when I grow up. Speaking my mind and ogling younger men. It’s fantastic.”

“Not if you’re the younger man.”

“Afraid?”

He grinned. “Terrified.”

She held up a chocolate-dipped cookie. “How’s your cholesterol?”

“Excellent.”

She passed over the cookie.

“Thanks.” He took a bite. “I’m starting to wonder if you’re in league with Eddie. Feeding me all this stuff so I have to work out more.”

“While it’s a great plan, I never would have thought of it.”

“Eddie would.”

She laughed again. “Yes, she would, but I promise I have no ulterior motive for offering you a cookie.” She raised one shoulder. “Okay, maybe I have one reason, but it has nothing to do with Eddie. Did you think about what we talked about?”

He nodded as he finished the cookie.

“A lot?”

He nodded again.

“And?”

She was pretty. He liked how she met his gaze steadily. He didn’t have a type so much as he enjoyed all women, and while under other circumstances he would be tempted, he knew his relationship with Shelby wouldn’t be about sex. It would be about something far more important.

He thought about what she’d told him about her past. How her father had hurt her. He felt the anger rise up inside of him again, along with the need to protect. Not that he could do anything, but he told himself it was good that he still had that much empathy. He wasn’t a total jackass.

He wanted to be different and as far as he could tell, Shelby’s plan offered a way to make that happen.

“I’m in,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

She clapped her hands together. “That’s great. I’m very excited. I was hoping you’d agree. I’ve been thinking about the plan and we need to make sure we agree on terms.”

“Friends for six months.”

She nodded. Her eyes were wide and blue and right now filled with earnest determination.

“We’ll hang out and do things together,” she said. “Get to know each other. Develop trust. I’ll see you as a man who doesn’t threaten me and you’ll see me as a person, not a bed partner.”

“Agree. No sex. Nothing romantic. We’ll hang out and do stuff.”

She squared her shoulders. “Then in six months, we’ll both be better people. Healed. We’ll finish our experiment and go our separate ways.”

“That’s easy for you to say, but I’m not sure you can keep your end of the bargain.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

He grinned. “I’m a great friend. You might get hooked. I’m still friends with guys I knew in grade school. I can’t seem to shake ’em.”

She laughed. “I’m an excellent friend, as well. What if you don’t want to stop being friends with me?”

“That could be a real possibility.”

“All right,” she said slowly. “What if we commit—” She shook her head. “No, you hate that word. What if we dedicate ourselves to our plan for the next six months? Then, if we still want to be friends, we still will be. But regular friends, without a plan for mutual personal growth.”

He couldn’t imagine any man on the planet coming up with something like this, he thought. Which was why women should be ruling the world.

“Sounds like a plan.” He held out his hand.

She leaned across the counter and took it in hers. They shook.

“I don’t work Saturday,” she said. “Are you free?”

He had a couple of tours, but he could trade the afternoon one. “Sure. Say three?”

“Perfect. I’ll come to your place. It’s a date.” She frowned. “Not a date. A...”

“A nondate?”

“An undate?”

He grinned. “A friend date.”

She nodded. “Do you want another cookie?”

“No, thanks. I don’t want to have to work out more and have Eddie think I’m flirting with her.”

“Good point.” She bit her lower lip. “Do you think this is going to work, Aidan?”

He thought about the pain in her eyes when she’d talked about her past. He remembered the accusations the other woman had hurled at him on New Year’s Eve. Shelby had a good job and was part owner in a business he was pretty sure she loved. He knew he enjoyed everything about his company. Each of them had nearly all they could want and yet something was missing. Something big.

“We’re going to make it work,” he told her. “We know the problem and we’ll find a solution. We just have to show up and put in the effort. It’ll happen.”

Her smile returned. “You have a little motivational speaker in you. I didn’t know. I’ll see you Saturday.”

“I’ll be there.”

* * *

AIDAN PULLED INTO the driveway of the house where he’d grown up. The roof had been recently replaced and the paint was new, but otherwise it looked exactly as it always had.

The property was a few miles outside of town, with plenty of land and a workshop for Ceallach out back. A giant workshop, where the gifted artist created his masterpieces. There was even a separate driveway and parking area for his various assistants who came and went. Because glass blowing wasn’t a solitary venture. Someone was needed at nearly every stage.

Aidan remembered being taken to his father’s workshop as a kid. While the power and heat of the furnace had intrigued him, he’d had no real interest in creating anything. His father had despaired of ever having a son to follow in his footsteps. Then Nick was born. From about two or three, he’d been obsessed with what his father did. Even his very first crude creations had shown talent. From that day, Del and Aidan had ceased to exist. At least for their father.

Different from what Shelby had gone through, he thought idly. But still not the happy childhood from TV sitcoms. He and Del had banded together—protecting each other, talking sports instead of art. The twins—the babies of the family—had been like Nick. Talented and interested in their father’s world. And so they’d grown up—five brothers divided into two camps. There had been affection between them, caring, but no real common language.

Aidan got out of his car, but before he could walk up the porch steps, the front door opened and a happy beagle dashed toward him. Sophie yipped in excitement as she raced forward, her long ears flapping as she ran. He crouched down and held open his arms. Sophie slammed into him with all the enthusiasm one delighted dog could contain.

“How’s my girl?” he asked, patting and rubbing her. She squirmed to get closer, then swiped his cheek with her tongue. Her tail slapped his arm as she wiggled and whined.

His mother stepped onto the porch. “She doesn’t do anything moderately,” Elaine Mitchell said with a laugh. “I’ve always admired that about her.”

Aidan climbed the two porch steps to hug his mom. She hung on tight. Sophie circled them both and barked. Elaine stepped back.

“I wasn’t expecting you,” she said, holding open the door. “This is a nice surprise.”

“I was in the neighborhood.”

He followed her into the kitchen and took a seat at the barstool by the island. Elaine collected a filter and tin of coffee, then poured water into the carafe.

She moved with energy, which he liked to see. The previous summer she’d battled breast cancer without telling anyone in the family. After the news had come out, he’d been able to look back and see how she’d been tired, with the strain of her illness showing on her face. Now he did his best to be more observant. While his mother had promised to never keep a secret like that again, Aidan wasn’t sure he believed her. Theirs was a family built on information withheld.

“How’s the business?” she asked after she’d started the coffeemaker.

“Good. I have a couple of snowshoeing trips along with the usual cross-country skiing.” He offered guided tours for those not familiar with the area. Most of his tour guides were college students happy to take a light load in the winter and get paid to ski. In summer he hired the students who wanted to stay in the area over the long break. Either way, it was a win-win.

Sophie crossed to her bed in the corner and scratched the soft fabric several times before settling down. The little beagle had been there for his mom as Elaine had gone through her surgery and treatment. Totally faithful and supportive.

Once again he wondered if he should get a dog. Being responsible for another living creature would go a long way to bolstering his character. Plus a nice, big dog would be fun. He could take him hiking and camping. Fay liked dogs, so having one in the office wouldn’t be a problem. Something to consider, he told himself.

“Your father and I are talking about going away again,” his mother said. “Our vacation last fall was so nice for both of us. We’re looking at taking one of those river cruises in Germany.”

“That would be good,” he said automatically, thinking that being trapped with his father on a boat was his idea of hell. But his mom would have a different view of things. “I’m glad you’re getting away more.”

“Me, too. Now that your father is slowing down with his work, we can think about other things.”

Right. Because every part of their life was defined by Ceallach’s work. That came first and the rest of it could wait its turn.

Stuck, Aidan reminded himself. Here was a prime example of why he never wanted to be in love. His mother was always the one who bent, who surrendered to whatever Ceallach wanted. He remembered being a kid and asking her why she didn’t tell his dad to stop destroying his work. She’d told him it wasn’t that easy—that Ceallach had his demons.

At eight or ten or twelve, Aidan hadn’t cared about demons. He’d cared that he could hear his mother crying because another commission had been destroyed and there wasn’t any money. That she didn’t know how she was going to feed her children.

Whatever the problem, Ceallach was always right, always the important one. Theirs wasn’t a partnership, at least not from his perspective. He’d often wondered why she stayed. No. The real question was why she’d married the man in the first place.

She poured them each a cup of coffee. “You should think about getting away.”

He took the mug and grinned. “Mom, my life is a vacation.”

“Not the business aspect of it.”

“I don’t mind that.”

She studied him. “I guess you never did. You were always smart that way. It’s interesting how you and Del are so different from your brothers.”

“You mean not like Dad?”

“I mean different.” Her voice chided ever so gently. “Speaking of your brothers, have you seen Nick?”

“Sure. A few days ago. Why?”

“I worry about him. But then I worry about all my boys.”

He knew that in her way, she was telling the truth. She’d always been there for her sons, loving them, taking care of them. He’d known that she would listen, would do her best to understand, even if, in the end, she would side with his father.

Like every good mother, she’d always claimed to love her five boys equally. Still, if he was asked to say who was her favorite, he would have to admit it was Ronan. The irony of that truth was the fact that Ronan wasn’t even hers. As he and Del had found out the previous fall, Ronan was their half brother—the result of Ceallach’s affair. Yet when his ex-mistress had abandoned her child, Elaine had taken him in and passed him off as one of her own. Mathias’s twin.

More secrets, he thought, wondering briefly what else he didn’t know about his family. Of course there were things they didn’t know about him. Like how badly he felt about what had happened on New Year’s Eve. And how he was determined to be different. But no matter how he changed, he knew one thing for sure. He would never fall in love. The pleasure was nowhere near worth the pain.