Читать книгу His Expectant Neighbor - Susan Meier - Страница 11

Gwen didn’t know why she hid her stash of shortbread cookies on the top shelf of her last cabinet behind the old dishes she never used. She didn’t live with anyone, so no one would find her precious treat. And she knew where the darned cookies were. It wasn’t as if she prevented herself from discovering them. She wasn’t fooling anybody or accomplishing anything, only delaying the inevitable.

Thinking that her purpose must be to give herself time to change her mind about eating a hundred buttery calories for every cookie, she dragged a chair to the cupboards and climbed onto the seat. Then she took a minute to catch her breath because she was huffing and puffing from the slight exertion. Twenty pounds didn’t seem like a lot, but when gained in seven months and distributed entirely to her middle, those twenty pounds had really thrown a monkey wrench into physical activity—not to mention her shape and mobility.

Since she wasn’t concealing the cookies from intruders and since she obviously wasn’t deterring herself, she declared herself officially too clumsy to continue this little game at the same moment that someone knocked on her front door.

She groaned. Now she remembered why she hid these things. It was to keep them out of sight of visitors who would take one look at her bulging tummy and one look at the cookies and recognize she had absolutely no will-power.

“I’m coming,” she called, when her guest knocked again. She lumbered off the chair and walked to her front door, realizing that in the city she might have worried about being so casual with unexpected visitors. But here in Storkville, Nebraska, she never gave callers a second thought. She hadn’t met anyone who wasn’t pleasant, and most people went out of their way to be kind and considerate…except for Ben Crowe, she thought with an involuntary sigh. When she had met the Sioux rancher she’d immediately thought he was the most handsome man in Cedar County, with his nearly black eyes and short, shiny black hair. But as they negotiated the deal for his cottage, it didn’t take her long to realize he was also the most bossy, irritating chauvinist she’d come across in a long, long time. Every time she had contact with him his gruffness managed to confirm that opinion, but his behavior the day before had etched it in stone.

When she opened the door and saw Nathan, her bad mood disappeared. “Hey, Nathan!” she said, stooping down so they were eye level.

“Hi, Mrs. Parker,” he said, his gaze dropping shyly.

“None of that Mrs. Parker stuff,” Gwen said, then ruffled his smooth dark hair. “Didn’t I tell you yesterday to call me Gwen?”

He nodded.

“Okay, then,” she said, and attempted to rise, but couldn’t. “Drat!”

“What’s the matter?” Nathan asked, alarmed. “Nothing,” Gwen said. “I just need something to hold on to.”

“Here,” Nathan said, catching her arm. “I’ll help.”

Gwen knew Nathan’s enthusiastic heart was in the right place, but she also knew his slight body could not support her weight. Still, not wanting to insult him, she allowed him to hold her left arm while she actually levered herself up by angling her right hand on the door frame.

“That’s better,” she said, then blew her breath out on a long sigh. “So how come you’re here?”

He shrugged. “I don’t got nowhere else to go. I got no parents. And you said yesterday I could visit anytime I wanted.”

“That’s right,” Gwen said, directing Nathan to follow her into the kitchen, though she had the distinct impression she was being conned. She’d spent an entire afternoon with this kid yesterday and his grammar was perfectly fine. Now suddenly he was talking like a five-year-old.

“I live with foster parents on the reservation,” he continued, as he sat on one of the captain’s chairs by her round kitchen table. His dark hair was bright and shiny, but his dark eyes were dull with concern, as if he was afraid she didn’t believe him. “They’re nice, but they’re old, and they don’t like to play.”

He’d told her as much the day before, but today there was an odd quality to his voice, almost a quiver. If he was duping her, it was only because he wanted company.

Come to think of it, so did she. She was lonely. He was lonely. There was no harm in letting him hang around for a while. In fact, she decided to share her cookies with him and made her way over to the cupboard.

“Do your foster parents know where you are?” she asked as she climbed on the chair again.

He nodded. “I called from Ben’s.”

Ben’s. Great. Did everything in this town revolve around Ben Crowe? “What did they say?”

“They said that I could come over as long as I didn’t annoy you. And Ben said he’d pick me up later to take me back to the reservation.”

That stopped her. She could see the surly rancher letting his little friend use the phone. She could even see him letting this boy follow on his heels because that might feed his ego. But to volunteer to go out of his way to take him back to the reservation? That made him seem almost—well, nice. “He did?”

“Yeah,” Nathan said.

Hearing the obvious affection in Nathan’s voice, Gwen turned around and looked down at him. “You really like that guy, don’t you?”

“He’s my friend.”

The simple statement told Gwen many things, not the least of which was that Nathan didn’t consider himself to have too many friends. Again, her opinion of Ben Crowe rose several notches.

Not wanting to go any further with this conversation, she put her attention on opening her cupboard door, but when she reached for the cookies, she felt off balance and stopped mid-stretch.

“What are you doing?” Nathan asked, sounding as if he felt she was crazy.

She cleared her throat. “Getting cookies.”

“All right!” he said, apparently pleased at the prospect of a snack. In two shakes, he was beside her chair. “Let me do this.”

“Nathan, you’re shorter than I am. If I can’t reach them, you can’t reach them,” she protested, but before the words were completely out of her mouth, Nathan had hoisted himself onto the countertop. He swiveled around, shifted to his feet and had her cookies in his hand before she could make another sound.

“Here,” he said, giving the cookies to her and jumping to the floor.

It wasn’t the neatest way to go about it, and it certainly wasn’t the most sanitary thing in the world to have someone stand on your countertop, but it worked.

“Thanks,” she said, carefully getting off the chair. And it wasn’t entirely safe for her to be climbing chairs anymore, either. Or carrying heavy packages, she conceded in her thoughts, though she still didn’t like Ben’s attitude when he stopped to help her the day before, because she wasn’t an invalid. But she also had to admit that it had been good having Nathan here yesterday when she needed somebody to bend and stretch.

As she thought the last, an idea formed. She wasn’t an invalid who couldn’t do things for herself, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt to have another person around the house to help her. At the same time, Nathan needed company, and he also was a nice little boy who could use a break from life.

“Nathan, how would you like to earn twenty dollars a week?”

His eyes widened comically and he gasped. “What?”

Proud of herself for coming up with such a good plan, Gwen smiled and sat at the table across from Nathan. “You saw how easily you got those cookies for me?”

He nodded.

“That showed me that I could really use some help around here. So, I’d be willing to pay you twenty dollars a week, if you would come over every day after school and just hang around in case I need something from a cupboard.”

Big-eyed, Nathan said nothing, only licked his lips. Then he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as if dismayed.

Baffled, Gwen wondered why he would hesitate to take her money, then she realized she might have insulted him. Or made him feel like a charity case. She hadn’t been in Storkville long, but she knew the Sioux were a proud, strong people.

“I really need the help,” she said, because she truly did. If his stay with her the day before hadn’t proved it, her inability to reach those darned cookies had. She could lower everything to be within reaching distance, but what if she fell? When she chose to rent Ben Crowe’s cottage on the edge of his property, she had gotten all the privacy she craved for both the baby and to be able to do her illustrations peacefully at home, but she had also isolated herself. With Nathan arriving every afternoon at three, she would at least know someone would find her if something happened.

More convinced than ever that she needed this child’s assistance, Gwen said, “Please?”

He sighed.

“Pretty please?” she said, knowing he was weakening.

Nathan shook his head as if deliberating, though she couldn’t think of a reason he would be reluctant to accept her offer. But suddenly he grinned broadly and tossed his hands in defeat. “Okay,” he said, sounding unsure but committed.

Gwen said, “Great!” Each ate two cookies, then Gwen sent Nathan on his first assignment. “There’s a freezer in the basement,” she said. “Would you please go down there and take out a package of hamburger?”

Nodding energetically, Nathan bounced off his chair and ran to her basement.

Gwen’s chest puffed out with pride. Not only had she solved a problem for a sweet little boy, but she now had company for dinner. Unfortunately, because she felt she had to find some work for them to do to make Nathan feel his position was legitimate, she and Nathan got involved in organizing her closet and before she knew it it was after six o’clock. She wouldn’t have glanced at the clock even then, except for the second time that day someone was knocking on her door.

“That’s probably Ben,” Nathan said authoritatively as he helped her maneuver herself out of the jumbled mess of clothes, shoes and boxes.

“Already?” Gwen said, dispirited. All afternoon she’d been looking forward to having company for dinner, and because she’d lost track of time she wouldn’t have any. The disappointment that settled over her was acute and severe. Which caused her to realize she was much lonelier than she was letting everyone—even herself—believe and convinced her that she had made a very wise choice in hiring Nathan to be with her every afternoon.

But that didn’t get her someone to share dinner with tonight.

“I told him I would call him when I wanted to go home, but he must have thought I forgot,” Nathan said, following Gwen down the steps to her front door.

Expecting to see Ben, Gwen’s mouth nonetheless fell open in surprise when she opened the door and he stood before her. Not because it was him, but because he looked absolutely magnificent. Dressed in a dark suit, complete with white shirt and raspberry-colored tie, Ben took her breath away. His short, neatly styled black hair accented a face that was all clean angles and smooth planes. His dark eyes pierced her with his usual no-nonsense stare. His munificent mouth never smiled.

“Hi,” she said, then mentally chastised herself for the quiver in her voice. Yes, the man was attractive, but she was twenty-eight, not a schoolgirl. And he wasn’t her type. After her disastrous marriage, Gwen had vowed to shift her choice of men from cool and demanding, to sweet and mellow. This guy was not mellow.

“Hi,” he said distantly, his tone relaxing Gwen somewhat. Having reminded herself of what she wanted in a husband, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she didn’t have to worry about her attraction to this grumpy man. She wouldn’t marry another difficult man on a lost bet.

“I’m here for Nathan.”

“Actually, he’s not ready yet,” Gwen said, an idea forming in her head. “I promised him supper.” She flashed Ben a winning smile. Her attraction to him no longer a consideration, she had no compunction about pulling out all the stops to retain her companionship for dinner. Besides, if she looked at this logically, all she was doing was being nice to her neighbor, her landlord. Certainly that couldn’t hurt. “It’s only hamburgers, but there’s plenty if you’d like to join us.”

She put her hand on Nathan’s slender shoulder at the same time Nathan looked up at Ben and grinned. “Please,” he said sweetly, and Gwen almost laughed. They couldn’t have done that better if they’d rehearsed it.

From the expression on Ben’s face Gwen could tell that he’d been all set to refuse her as he had the night before, until he looked down at Nathan’s smile. The kid was good. Very good. No adult with an ounce of compassion could look at that angelic face and refuse him anything.

“All right,” Ben said, but he sighed.

Gwen decided she couldn’t even give him two minutes to debate this or he would change his mind. “Come on, Nathan, let’s get the hamburgers on the grill.”

“You can’t grill. It’s getting dark,” Ben protested, but Gwen turned and smiled charmingly.

“It won’t be dark for another hour, but the grill is on the deck and the deck has a light. If it gets dark, we’ll turn it on.” She smiled again. “Would you like a short-bread cookie while you wait?”

That seemed to confuse him. “Before dinner?” he asked incredulously.

Her smile became a grin. “I’m pregnant. I eat what I want, when I want. It’s the only perk.”

Though she thought he might have criticized her for that, Ben Crowe actually laughed, and a strange bubble of delight rose in Gwen’s stomach. She told herself to ignore it, but it was hard not to be proud of yourself when you made such a surly man laugh. When he joined them in the kitchen and quietly, almost formally asked if he could assist with the dinner preparations, making him laugh again started to feel like a goal.

So she faced him and gave him her most genuine smile. “Do you like lettuce and tomato on your hamburger?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Well, there’s a tomato in the refrigerator and a head of lettuce. You could wash those,” she said, then shifted her tone until it was serious, almost melodramatic. “But you would have to take off your jacket. Maybe even your tie.”

It was the first time in her life Gwen had ever seen a man blush, and though she found his embarrassment endearing, it also puzzled her. Either he didn’t know how to handle someone teasing him, or he was so unfamiliar with cooking that he didn’t realize he needed to remove his coat.

“But Nathan and I can do that,” she said quickly, hoping to make up for embarrassing him so he wouldn’t get uncomfortable and change his mind about staying.

He shook his head and shrugged out of the black suit coat. “I’ll do it,” he said firmly.

Gwen decided to let the subject drop and went out to the deck to check on the hamburgers. “How’s it going out here?” she asked Nathan.

Spatula in hand, he grinned up at her. “Really good.”

Seeing how happy he was, Gwen ruffled his hair. “We should make a standing arrangement that you’ll eat dinner with me every day so that I’ll have help with the dishes.”

Nathan nodded.

Gwen felt her bubble of excitement again, then Ben appeared at the sliding glass door leading to the deck. With his jacket gone and the sleeves of his white shirt rolled to his elbows, he added a dimension to his good looks that Gwen had all but forgotten existed. Sex appeal. Her merry bubble of excitement instantly transformed into a shiver of awareness.

“You cold?” Nathan asked.

Ben only continued to look at her, and she dropped the oven mitt she had just used to open the grill lid.

This was not good.

“Should I turn them over?” Nathan asked, still trying to get her attention.

But Gwen was lost. It occurred to her that maybe Ben Crowe wasn’t as angry and intense as she thought. No one else in the town had a problem with him. Everybody else let him keep to himself without question or qualm. Yet she nitpicked at everything he did. With him standing on the other side of her sliding glass doors, holding a plate of sliced tomatoes, staring at her as if he couldn’t get himself to stop, Gwen suddenly knew why they didn’t seem to get along and she squeezed her eyes shut.

He found her as attractive as she found him.

And he was fighting it every bit as hard as she was fighting it.

If it hadn’t been for Nathan, dinner might have been eaten in complete silence. Luckily, neither Gwen nor Ben had trouble talking to Nathan. Luckily, Nathan didn’t seem to notice that the adults were so uncomfortable with each other they were using him to pass the salt so they didn’t have to speak directly to each other.

Being a gentleman, Ben helped with the dishes. The gesture reinforced that Ben Crowe was a very good man, but, unfortunately, it also reaffirmed the sexual attraction Gwen felt sizzling between them. She couldn’t stop noticing that he wasn’t merely a handsome man, he was a well-built man. She’d never seen him in a dress shirt and trousers, only a work shirt, vest and jeans. As he walked around her kitchen, putting away dishes and storing leftover food, his lighter weight apparel showed off his broad shoulders and his back which tapered into a trim waist. When Gwen realized that, she recognized her eyes were moving toward territory that was definitely off limits, and she refused to let herself even glance in his direction anymore.

When he shipped Nathan upstairs to get his jacket, Gwen also deduced that Ben had offered to help with the dishes so they would be too busy to be awkward around each other. Without the distraction of Nathan or the dishes, a thick silence stretched between them. Both tried to talk, neither could think of anything to say, and the peeks they stole at each other were so obvious and so telling, Gwen wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

She nearly breathed a sigh of relief when Nathan jogged down the steps. “I’m ready,” he called, darting toward the door.

Obviously grateful, Ben followed him, and, relieved to have them going, Gwen followed Ben. But when the energetic nine-year-old slipped beneath Ben’s arm and out the door, suddenly Ben and Gwen found themselves face-to-face and alone again.

“Thank you for staying,” Gwen said, and made the mistake of looking up into his eyes. Lord, he had gorgeous eyes. Nearly black and as bright as stars, they looked down at her, pinning her into immobility.

“I appreciated dinner,” he said quietly. “And also appreciated your being so good to Nathan.”

“He’s a wonderful boy,” she agreed softly.

Ben’s gaze fell to her mouth, then returned to her eyes, and Gwen watched him swallow hard. For a fleeting second she feared that he would kiss her, then realized she wished that he would. What would it feel like to have that beautiful mouth pressed to hers?

Ben cleared his throat. “I’ve sort of taken him under my wing, so if he gives you trouble, call me.”

Gwen shook her head. “He’s no trouble,” she said. But you are, she thought, then realized that wasn’t true. This man couldn’t hurt her if she didn’t let him. If she got control of these odd, runaway feelings right now, there would be no problem between them. She took a step back, away from him, clearly telling him she didn’t want to be kissed.

He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “Thank you for dinner,” he said, being formal again. “Make sure your door is locked,” he added before he walked outside. He closed her door with a secure tug, and then the only sound Gwen heard was silence.

She listened to the engine of his truck start, listened as the noise spiraled into nothing as he drove away, then squeezed her eyes shut and groaned. What the hell was happening to her? How could she have been so stupid as to stare in his eyes like a lovesick puppy?

For heaven’s sake, how could she even be looking at another man when she wasn’t over the last one yet?

Besides, she was pregnant. She was fat. She didn’t even really walk anymore, she waddled. Just like with the cookies, the only person she was fooling was herself if she thought a gorgeous man like Ben Crowe would find her attractive in this condition!

Ben couldn’t have disagreed more. Driving Nathan home that night he realized that the thing that struck him about her was how happy she was. She seemed to blossom around Nathan, which proved she would be a wonderful mother. But even before Nathan entered the picture Ben had noticed that Gwen…well, glowed. Yesterday it was so obvious he couldn’t miss it. And tonight she virtually radiated light and energy.

He would have berated himself for staring at her all evening like some lovesick teenager, except when he saw her staring at him through the sliding glass doors, he realized she found him attractive, too. At first that had been nothing but good for his ego, then Ben reminded himself of his thoughts from the day before. Being attracted to an already pregnant woman wasn’t something to play around with.

The next morning, bundled in denim and shielding his eyes from the sun with a Stetson as he rode the fence to spend some time outdoors—since he’d wasted the previous day in offices with lawyers, accountants and brokers—Ben decided that Gwen’s pregnancy was the bottom line to everything. Since he hadn’t been overwhelmingly attracted to a woman like this in years, and the biggest difference between Gwen and all the other women he met was her pregnancy, he figured that silly glow of hers was the real culprit, not an actual attraction.

He even felt fortified enough to knock on her door and walk right into her house that evening when he arrived to pick up Nathan. But when he saw her lying on the sofa, looking exhausted—completely without glow—and still thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world, he knew he was going to have to rethink this whole deal.

“What’s up?” he asked, sitting on the edge of the sofa beside her tummy, so he could get a better look at her face.

“I’m fine,” she said, obviously exasperated. “I told you before, I’m pregnant, not sick.”

“Where’s Nathan?”

“He’s making dinner.”

“He is?” Ben asked, his voice resonating with fear at the combination of a nine-year-old, boiling water and fire.

“Relax,” she said. “It’s only cold cereal from a box, but at this point that’s all I have the energy to eat. He told me he can get something at home with his foster parents.”

“I’ll see that he gets dinner,” Ben said, then rose from the couch. “And you’re eating something more than cold cereal.”

“Cold cereal is fine.”

He snorted a laugh. “Not hardly. Have you ever read one of those labels? You’re eating sugarcoated sugar.”

The words were barely out of Ben’s mouth before Gwen gasped as if in pain. He fell to the sofa again. “What’s wrong?” he asked urgently.

She gritted her teeth from the discomfort, but said, “It’s nothing.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Ben said, rising from the couch. “Nathan, give me a hand here. I’m taking Mrs. Parker to the doctor.”

With surprising strength, Gwen caught his hand and tugged him down to the sofa again. “You are not taking me to the doctor.”

Leaning over so that he nearly pressed his nose to her nose, he disagreed. “Guess again.”

“The baby is moving. That’s all. Sometimes when he does it I get heartburn. Other times, like now, it just hurts like the dickens. It all depends on what he sits on.”

She said the words quietly, softly, and very, very slowly and with every puff of breath that came from her mouth he realized how close they were. If he thought he’d been on the verge of kissing her the night before, he was in even worse shape tonight. First, she looked tired and alone. That right there deserved a kiss. Add her natural beauty to that and Ben found himself losing the battle.

“I still think I should take you to the doctor,” he whispered, his voice shivery and hoarse because he realized he was bending closer and closer, so near her mouth now that his lips were almost touching hers.

He’d never felt so drawn to kiss anyone. Not because she was attractive, not because he was attracted to her, but because it felt right. She wasn’t merely beautiful, she was sweet, and he wanted to taste some of that sweetness. He could feel himself being pulled toward her, confirmation, almost, that this was something he couldn’t control.

But in the last second before their mouths would have touched, she said, “No.”