Читать книгу St. Faustina Prayer Book for the Conversion of Sinners - Susan Tassone - Страница 11

I. What Is Conversion?

“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent, and believe in the gospel.”

— Mark 1:15

In one of his first interviews after being elected pontiff, Pope Francis was asked to describe himself. “I am a sinner,” he said.

Four words that shocked the world but shouldn’t have.

Every pope has been a sinner.

Every human being — except Jesus and His mother, Mary — has been a sinner.

So a prayer book focusing on “the conversion of sinners” isn’t just about “them”: the big-time, notorious sinners. It’s about us: the little-time, often slow-to-correct-our-faults, sinners.

Members of both categories need our prayers. And we need the prayers of others.

It wouldn’t be hard to come up with a list of the horrible and harmful activities of the big-time sinners. Abortionists, pornographers, sex traffickers, child abusers, dictators, and on and on. But what about the little-time sinners? Really now. Aren’t they, aren’t we, doing pretty much okay?

Not according to St. Bernard of Clairvaux, who told his community: “There are more people converted from mortal sin to grace than there are religious converted from good to better.”

Yes, he was speaking about members of religious communities, but certainly the same could be said of those who consider themselves religious: those who take their Catholicism seriously and live good and holy lives.

Lives that, St. Bernard was saying, could be better … and holier.

That’s what conversion is. For some, it’s getting out of the pornography business. For others, it’s moving away from those favorite little vices that, over the years, have held us back from the person God is calling us to be.

As you may know, the word “convert” comes from the Latin meaning to turn (vertere) together with (con or cum). We’re facing one way, we’re heading down a path in this direction, but — with someone else — we turn in a new, and better, direction. We head down a new, and better, path. Or, more accurately, we do that with Someone else. We turn with the One who continually calls us to conversion because we continually need it.

Here’s another way to look at it. You’ve probably heard the expression “a heart of stone.” Mortal sin piled on mortal sin over years and years has turned the big-time sinner’s heart to stone.

But what’s the small-time sinner’s heart like? Perhaps like a lump of modeling clay that’s been left out and untouched for too long. It’s hard and brittle. It crumbles easily and can’t be formed, or transformed, into anything.

What is conversion? A modern dictionary says it’s this: “to change (something) into a different form or so that it can be used in a different way.”

To change a heart. To change a mind. To change a soul. A heart that loves more. A mind that longs for greater knowledge of, and intimacy, with its Creator. A soul that seeks holiness by, day after day, seeking God’s will and striving to live it.

What Does Conversion Require?

Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts.… Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you.

— James 4:8, 10

What does conversion require? The short answer is: God and you.

You can’t do it without Him. And He won’t do it without you. (You always have free will.)

But that short answer doesn’t mean it’s a simple answer.

Conversion requires prayer … and prayer requires conversion. It isn’t a “one-and-done” proposition. It’s a daily process. More than that, it can be multiple decisions and actions within one day. Day after day till death. Why? Because it’s answering God’s constant call for us to change our mind and our heart: a lifetime of His inviting you and me to become a saint.

How do we do that? First, to use a common and contemporary expression, “Ya gotta want it!” There are no “accidental saints.”

There’s no doubt, St. Faustina had that deep, deep desire.

She told Our Lord: “You know that from my earliest years I have wanted to become a great saint; that is to say, I have wanted to love You with a love so great that there would be no soul who has hitherto loved You so” (1372).

The comforting, and disturbing, truth is that we have everything St. Faustina had in order for us to become saints too. God offers the grace to do just that. We have “only” to take Him up on His offer and use His freely given gift.

You and I can become a saint. And there’s a bonus! In the same way, we can avoid purgatory too.

There’s no magical formula, but there is a mystical one: we can seek the grace of conversion through prayer — and, through prayer, we can better and better live that grace. But as we all know, prayer can be far from easy. It demands time and effort. And a deeper conversion, a stronger conversion, often means more time. More effort. It calls for an increasing surrender to God and an abandonment of selfishness, which is the core of sin and an impediment to prayer.

“Impossible!” you might say. But apparently not. Others have done it. The Church has a whole canon — a list — of those she has declared saints, and there are countless other souls in heaven whose names we don’t know and won’t know until we join them there.

But no saint started out as a saint. Each person converted his or her life, day by day. Many, if not most, began that journey with “baby steps.” That’s more good news because we can do the same. And that’s all God asks. For today.

Step, step, misstep. Step, step, fall. Step, step … step.

Over time, with effort and grace, our steps become surer, our stride becomes longer, and our endurance increases.

And as we grow closer to God, the closer still we want to be. We become better aware of our imperfections — those nagging missteps and falls — and we want to eliminate them. Saints weren’t being falsely modest when they declared themselves to be sinners. Sometimes big-time sinners. And yet, again with time and effort, with the grace of God and the choices they made, they grew in holiness. But as they did so, they came to realize that they needed to become even more deeply converted if they wanted to better do God’s will for them — and to better answer His call, His invitation, to follow the unique and incredible path He was using to lead them home to Him for all eternity.

Conforming to God’s Ways

It wasn’t just through deepening prayer that St. Faustina sought the will of God, but also through living in conformity to God’s ways. If our prayers are converting us, then we may well be surprised to realize that, as with St. Faustina’s prayers, they’re starting to bear spiritual fruit, including:

• Greater acts of generosity

• Mercy

• Patience

• Humble service

• Faith

• Having a devotion to Our Lady, following her example and putting ourselves under the mantle of her protection (by praying the Rosary)

• Frequenting the sacraments (Mass and Reconciliation)

• Living a Christian life in conformity with the Gospel

• Doing works of charity

• Forgiving our enemies

How Does St. Faustina View Conversion?

Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer, and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.

— Ephesians 6:18

St. Faustina’s main mission was helping Jesus save sinners, helping the dying, and releasing souls in purgatory. Her compassion for sinners was her life, as she made atonement for them and incessantly pleaded for God to show His mercy on them.

She had no doubt He would. “And fear nothing, dear soul, whoever you are,” she wrote. “The greater the sinner, the greater his right to Your mercy, O Lord. O incomprehensible Goodness! God is the first to stoop to the sinner” (598).

Clearly, St. Faustina understood that conversion applies to everyone, no matter how low we may go, no matter what heights our souls may attain. There’s always room for improvement because there’s always room for more grace, for deeper conversion, and for growing closer to perfection itself: that is, for closer to God.

An Eternal Life-Changing Prayer for Others

“Today Jesus said to me, I desire that you know more profoundly the love that burns in My Heart for souls, and you will understand this when you meditate upon My Passion. Call upon My mercy on behalf of sinners; I desire their salvation. When you say this prayer, with a contrite heart and with faith on behalf of some sinner, I will give him the grace of conversion. This is the prayer:

‘O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You.’” (187)

Coupled with our own growth is the conversion of others. Just as Jesus allowed St. Faustina to do, He lets us play a role in helping others to turn with Him, to walk with Him. Sometimes this is through our prayers and sacrifices, and sometimes through that spiritual fruit that isn’t meant for us alone but to be shared, in so many ways, with others.

What were the first steps for St. Faustina?

Prayer. If we don’t pray, then we can’t say we’re on the way to being converted — or perhaps, more accurately, on the path of conversion. We can’t claim we’re falling deeper in love with God. And, it may well be, until we begin and manage to take a few steps, we can’t imagine we would want to deepen that relationship — or have a clue of what joy that deepening would bring.

Prayer is the language of this conversion, this conversation with our Creator. It’s one way we respond to His courting us. Conversion is falling in love with God.

What Does Purgatory Have to Do with Conversion?

“Not my will, but thine, be done.”

— Luke 22:42

What’s the chief way to avoid purgatory? Doing the will of God in all things in the present moment. What’s conversion? Striving to get better at doing his will.

That theme runs throughout St. Faustina’s diary:

My sanctity and perfection consist in the close union of my will with the will of God. God never violates our free will. It is up to us whether we want to receive God’s grace or not. It is up to us whether we will cooperate with it or waste it. (1107)

O Jesus, I want to live in the present moment, to live as if this were the last day of my life. I want to use every moment scrupulously for the greater glory of God, to use every circumstance for the benefit of my soul. I want to look upon everything, from the point of view that nothing happens without the will of God. (1183)

The hearts of the holy souls in purgatory beat in perfect harmony with the will of God. The holy souls want us to convert and become holy here on earth.

Let our prayer be that of Our Lord and Our Lady: “Thy will be done.” Conforming ourselves to the plan of God will give us the grace to avoid purgatory.

We are required to do penance for our sins to make satisfaction in this world. What are these means of satisfaction? Devotion to the Mother of God; charity toward the living and deceased; mortification and faithfulness to our state in life; reception of the sacraments; confidence in the divine mercy of God; and death in union with Jesus.

We are invited to be one with the holy souls in their love, their eager expiation, and their union with God. One with them in purifying our hearts from imperfections, in atoning for our sins, in learning something new of the incomprehensible holiness of God. Becoming one with those who rest in the blissful vision of God.