Читать книгу Absolute Truths - Susan Howatch - Страница 13

I telephoned my spiritual director. In 1956 Jon had yet to become the recluse who refused to have a telephone in his home.

‘It occurred to me,’ I said, ‘that there’s a sound moral argument for destroying the letter. For the good of the family – and to save Charley distress –’

‘This is a very bad line,’ said Jon. ‘Could you say all that again? I don’t think I can possibly have heard you correctly.’

A long silence followed before I said: ‘I’m in such a state I can’t think straight. What on earth am I going to say to Charley?’

‘Believe me, I do understand how hard it will be for you to master all your ambivalent feelings.’

‘What ambivalent feelings?’

A second silence ensued. At last I said: ‘I don’t feel ambivalent towards Charley. He’s my reward now for responding to that back-breaking call from God to bring him up. I’m devoted to Charley. I’m proud of him.’

‘Then trust him to work out what he owes and to whom.’

‘But how much of the truth should I tell him?’

Jon said nothing.

‘Must I tell the whole truth?’ I said. The absolute truth?’

‘I’m sure you know at heart what the answers to all those questions are, Charles.’

I put down the receiver.