Читать книгу Fool's Gold Collection Part 2: Only Mine / Only Yours / Only His / Only Us: A Fool's Gold Holiday - Сьюзен Мэллери, Susan Mallery - Страница 19

“THE KEY TO GOOD PARENTING is to keep breathing,” Dr. Silverman told Dakota. “Seriously, if you pass out, you’re no good to anyone.” The pediatrician, a petite blonde in her late thirties, smiled.

Dakota wanted to shriek at her. Did the doctor think this was funny? Nothing about this was funny. It was horrifying and potentially life threatening, but not funny.

As soon as Dr. Silverman had walked into the examining room, Hannah had stopped crying. She’d submitted to the detailed exam with barely a sound and now lay in Dakota’s arms, her hot body limp.

“She’s exhausted,” the doctor said. “That trip wouldn’t be easy on anyone. I’m sure she’s scared and confused. Her life hasn’t been easy. Adding to that are the other problems.”

Dakota braced herself for the worst. “The fever?”

The doctor nodded. “She has an infection in both ears and she has her first tooth coming in. She’s way too small for her age, which isn’t surprising given her circumstances. I don’t love the formula they’ve been using, either.”

She looked at the can of powder Dakota had given her. It was the same one Sister Mary had left with Hannah’s things.

“All right,” the doctor continued. “We’re going to start her on a course of antibiotics. I don’t like to use them for ear infections, but under the circumstances, she needs the jump to get better.”

Dr. Silverman explained how to administer the medicine and told her what to expect with the combination of fever, first tooth and potential digestive upsets. They went over how to slowly transition Hannah to a more easily digested formula, and she offered suggestions on how much to feed her and how often.

“Normally at six months she’d be starting on solid foods, but I want you to hold off on that for at least three weeks. Let’s get her healthy and her weight up a little. Then you can begin the process.” Dr. Silverman explained how to make sure Hannah didn’t get dehydrated.

“Do you have someone to help you?” the doctor asked. “The first few days will be the most difficult.”

“My mom,” Dakota said, trying to absorb all the information. “I have sisters and friends.” Not to mention all the women in town who would step in.

“Good.” The doctor pulled a business card out of her white coat pocket. “I’m on call this weekend. If you need me, the answering service will be able to get in touch with me.”

Dakota took the card and sighed. “Thank you. Is there any way I could convince you to move in with me for the next couple of years?”

Dr. Silverman laughed. “I think my husband would object, but I’ll ask him.”

“I really appreciate all of this.”

The doctor touched the top of Hannah’s head. “From what I can tell, she’s basically healthy. Once we get her ears cleared up and her baby teeth in, your life will calm down. Try to stay relaxed and sleep when you can. Oh, and keep breathing.”

They discussed when Dakota should bring her new daughter in for a follow-up visit, what circumstances would require a phone call to the doctor and what to look for that could be dangerous.

“I think you’re going to be fine,” the doctor told her. “Both of you.”

Dakota nodded. “I understand and I appreciate all the information.” Now if only she could figure out a way to keep it straight in her head.

She carried Hannah back into the waiting room. Finn stood when he saw her and closed the distance between them.

“What did she say?” he asked.

“Hopefully not more than I can remember.” Dakota walked to the receptionist and made her follow-up appointment.

As she and Finn walked to his car, she told him about the visit and what the doctor had said. “I have to get a prescription filled,” she said. “And change her formula, but I’m supposed to do that over time. Otherwise she could get really sick. Right now tummy trouble is the last thing she needs.”

Getting overwhelmed seemed easy enough, she thought. Talk about going from zero to sixty without a whole lot of warning. Everyone was encouraging her, telling her she could do it, but at the end of the day, she was going to be the one left with the baby.

“I’ll take you home,” Finn told her. “Then I’ll go get the prescription filled. One less thing for you to do.”

Dakota finished strapping Hannah into her car seat, then closed the back door and straightened. “You’ve already done so much for me. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“I’ll send you a list.”

The drive back to Dakota’s place didn’t take very long. She kept looking over her shoulder, checking on Hannah. Exhaustion seemed to have set in, and the baby was sleeping.

She told herself that once Hannah started on the medication, everything would be better. At least that was her hope. There were—

“Somebody’s having a party,” Finn said as he pulled into her driveway.

She followed his gaze and saw there were at least a dozen cars parked on the street. She recognized a few of them and had a feeling she knew the owners of the others.

Warmth and relief chased away a good portion of the fear. She really wasn’t alone. How could she have forgotten that?

“It’s not a party,” she told him, then got out of the car. “Not in the way you’re thinking.”

He faced her across the roof of the vehicle. “Then what is it?”

“Come see.”

She collected Hannah from her car seat. The baby barely stirred. Finn grabbed the diaper bag and followed her into the house.

She’d seen all the cars, but was still surprised by the number of people in her living room and kitchen. Her mother was there along with her sisters. Mayor Marsha and Charity, a very pregnant Pia. Liz and the feuding hairdressing sisters, Julia and Bella. Gladys and Alice, and Jenel from the jewelry store. There were women everywhere.

“There she is,” Denise said, hurrying toward them. “Are you all right? How was the trip? How’s your sweet little girl?”

Dakota handed her daughter over to her mother. But that was all she could do. Anything else was impossible. Her throat was too tight, her heart too full.

From where she stood, she could see stacks of presents. The packages were yellow and pink and white, topped with ribbons and bows. There was a high chair in the dining room and stacks of diapers on the chairs. She could see two steaming crockpots on the counter in her kitchen, a large basket of fruit and a bouquet of balloons.

As Denise rocked her new granddaughter in her arms, Nevada and Montana led Dakota into the spare room. Her small computer desk had been pushed to the far wall. Once-white walls had been painted the softest of pinks. New curtains hung at the windows. A thick rug covered the hardwood floor.

A crib sat in the center of the room. The linens were a cheerful yellow and white background with ballerina rabbits. A mobile of bunnies and ducks spun lazily overhead. There was a changing table and a dresser. The closet doors were open and tiny clothes hung on white hangers.

“It’s some special paint,” Nevada said. “There aren’t any fumes, so it’s safe for the baby. Everything else is organic or nontoxic.”

Dakota didn’t know what to say, so it was good that her sisters simply hugged her. She’d seen the town in action before, had been a part of it several times, but she’d never been on the receiving end of Fool’s Gold love. The sense of connection and belonging nearly overwhelmed her.

“I didn’t expect any of this,” Dakota whispered, fighting her happy tears.

“Then our work here is done,” Nevada teased.

Finn walked into the baby’s room. “You people know how to throw a party,” he said. “I’m going to get the prescription filled. I’ll be back as soon as they’re finished.”

She nodded, rather than speak. From her perspective, she’d already spent much of the day crying. If she tried to thank him, she would only resume the waterworks. The man deserved a break.

Dakota allowed her sisters to lead her back to the living room. Her mother still held Hannah, and the baby seemed more relaxed in experienced arms. Several of the women jumped up to make room for her on the sofa. Dakota collapsed onto the cushions. A plate was put in her hands and a glass of something that looked like Diet Coke was placed on the coffee table in front of her.

“Now start at the beginning and tell us everything,” her mother said. “Is Hannah all right? Finn mentioned he had to go out for medicine.”

“She’s going to be all right,” Dakota said poking her fork at the pasta salad on her plate. “It might take a little while for us to get there, but Hannah is going to be just fine.”

AURELIA STOOD on the sidewalk in the warmth of the early evening. Some people were just plain gifted. As she watched, Sasha and Lani stood in the park, fighting. They weren’t just having an argument, they were yelling and waving their arms. At one point, Sasha grabbed Lani by her upper arms, hauled her close and kissed her.

Lani resisted at first. She twisted away, then raised her hand as if she were going to slap Sasha. He held her in place and kissed her again. This time, she surrendered. Her body went limp against his, and her hands drew him closer. From several feet away, it looked as though the young lovers had averted a crisis.

Aurelia knew better. She knew the fight was staged, a little scene for the cameras. “You have to admit they’re really good,” she told Stephen. “Whether or not they make it to the end of the show, they obviously have what it takes to be successful actors.”

Stephen rested his hands on her shoulders. She wasn’t sure why, and thinking about the possible reasons made her head hurt. He was a good guy. He was smart and fun to be with and really caring. Being with him was easy, even though it didn’t show on camera. Every time she and Stephen were filmed together, the situation became awkward.

She couldn’t say what was wrong. Her nature was to accept all the blame, but if that were true, then their time on camera should only be half bad. Instead it was, as Geoff had said the previous morning, truly awful.

“Hello, Aurelia.”

Aurelia turned at the sound of her name and saw her mother walking toward her. Between work and the show, there hadn’t been much time to visit. She’d called regularly, although her mother explained that was hardly the same and not nearly enough.

“Your mother, I presume,” Stephen whispered in her ear.

Before she could agree, he stepped past her and introduced himself. They shook hands. While keeping her mother’s hand in his, Stephen thanked her for insisting Aurelia go on the show.

“Your daughter speaks of you frequently,” he continued. “I can see how much she cares about you.

“No, she doesn’t.” Her mother sniffed, then withdrew her hand and glared at them both. “If she really cared about me, she would stop by to see me more.”

“She’s busy with her job and the show.”

Aurelia stepped between them. She could see where the conversation was going, and while she appreciated Stephen looking out for her, she knew it was time for her to stand up for herself.

“Stephen, could you give us a minute?”

He nodded and moved back.

She led her mother over to a bench. But before she could speak, her mother jumped in.

“I can’t believe how young he is. I’d hoped they were exaggerating, but now I’ve seen him in person. Obviously, they weren’t. It’s humiliating. Do you know what my friends are saying? The people at work? Don’t you care about me at all?” Her mother sighed and shook her head. “You’ve always been selfish, Aurelia. And while we’re on the subject, where’s my check for this month?”

Aurelia stared at the woman who had raised her. It had always been just the two of them, and for so long, that had been enough. She had been brought up to believe that family was everything and that taking care of her mother was her responsibility. She’d told herself that her mother’s bitterness could be excused, if not explained. Now that she thought about it, she wasn’t exactly sure why her mother was so angry all the time.

Stephen didn’t appreciate Finn’s interference and saw it as nothing more than irritation. She knew better. Finn had put his life on hold because he was worried about his brothers. He wanted nothing for himself. Everything he did was for them. It had never been that way with her mother.

In Aurelia’s family, her mother came first. Her mother was the important one. Somehow Aurelia had allowed herself to be manipulated. Part of the blame lay with her mother, but part of it lay with her. She was nearly thirty years old. It was time for her to change the rules.

“Mom, I really appreciate you encouraging me to go on the show. You were right—I haven’t been doing anything to move on to the next stage of my life. I want to get married and have children. Instead, I hide myself at work and I spent all my free time with you.”

“Not recently,” her mother snapped.

“I’m sorry you feel that I haven’t been paying enough attention to you. The time on the show has allowed me to get a little perspective. I’m your daughter, and I will always love you, but I need to have my own life.”

“I see,” her mother said icily. “Let me guess. I no longer matter.”

“You matter very much. I don’t want it to be an either/or. I think I can have a life, and you and I can still be close.” Aurelia sucked in a breath. Now came the hard part. There was a knot in her stomach, a ball of fear and guilt.

“You have a really good job,” she said slowly. “The house is paid for, as is your car.” She should know. She paid off both loans herself. “Obviously, if there’s an emergency, I want to help. But otherwise, you need to be responsible for your own bills.”

Her mother sprang to her feet and glared at her. “Aurelia, this is not how you were raised. I’m the only mother you’ll ever have. When I’m dead and gone, your selfishness will haunt you forever.”

Aurelia watched her walk away. She knew her mother expected her to run after her, but she couldn’t. The relationship they’d had before had been twisted and difficult. If she wanted it to change, she would have to be strong.

Stephen walked over to her and put his arm around her. “How do you feel?”

“Nauseous.” She pressed her hand to her stomach. “We’re not done. She’ll be back. But I feel like I’ve taken the first step and that’s something.”

“It’s great.”

She looked up at him and smiled. “Great is healing some freakish disease. All I did was stand up to my mother.”

“When was the last time you did that?”

“I was probably five.”

“Then it’s a big deal.”

“You’re too nice to me.”

“Not possible.”

They walked through the park, going away from the direction her mother had chosen. Aurelia told herself to ignore the guilt, and that in time, it would fade.

The reality was her mother was more than capable of supporting herself. But for some reason, she wanted to be taken care of.

“Maybe she thinks that having me pay for things proves that I love her,” she said, thinking out loud.

“Or she wants to be able to tell all her friends. That gives her status with them. After all, what do their kids do?”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted. “On my good days, I tell myself to feel sorry for her rather than be angry or resentful.”

“Does it work?”

“Sometimes.”

They stopped by Lake Ciara. The sun had set and the sky was dark. She could see the first stars appearing. As a little girl, she’d wished on the stars, wanting them to make her dreams come true. Back then, most of her dreams had been about a handsome prince who would rescue her.

Now, looking back, she realized the rescue was about escaping her mother. While she’d appreciated having someone to care about her, that relationship had too many rules and strings. Even as a child, she’d felt the need to be loved for herself.

That desire was still there, but she knew it wouldn’t come from the stars. Instead she would have to grow enough as a person to be able to accept that kind of love. Tonight had been a good first step. If her mother returned and tried to suck her back into their old relationship, she would do her best to stand strong.

“You’re looking serious about something,” he said.

“Reminding myself to stay strong.”

He gazed into her eyes. “I really admire you.”

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You’ve had to deal with so much. You’re standing up to the only family you have. You’re on this show.”

While she appreciated the praise, she didn’t feel especially worthy. “I’m nearly thirty years old. It’s long past time for me to take on my mother. Besides, you stood up to your brother. I think you inspired me.”

He shook his head. “It was just the two of you. Changing that relationship isn’t easy.” He grimaced. “I didn’t stand up to my brother, in fact. I ran.”

“That’s different.”

Without warning, he leaned in and kissed her. The feel of his mouth against hers made every part of her weak with longing. She kissed him back, knowing she shouldn’t, telling herself she would stop any second now.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her hard against him. She went willingly, surrendering to a force bigger than her doubts. He was tall and strong and made her feel safe. Stephen always made her think that, as long as he was there, nothing bad could happen.

When his tongue touched her bottom lip, she parted for him. She met him stroke for stroke, feeling the heat grow. His hands moved up and down her back, then dropped to her hips. She surged toward him and felt his erection against her stomach.

The physical proof of where this was going shocked her into pulling away. She stepped back, her breathing ragged, and stared at him.

“Stop,” she gasped, then shook her head and held up a hand. “You have to stop. We have to stop. This is crazy.”

His blue eyes were bright with passion as he reached for her again, but she stepped back.

“I mean it,” she said as forcefully as she could. It was difficult to be stern when all she wanted was to throw herself at him, to be held by him, to make love with him.

“I don’t understand,” he told her. “I thought…” He looked away. “My mistake.”

“No.” She grabbed his arm to keep him in place. “I’m sorry. I’m saying this all wrong. Stephen, this isn’t about you. It’s about me and us and where we are in our lives.” She stared at him, willing him to understand.

“You’re twenty-one years old. You need to finish college and go live your life. You have so many firsts, so many new experiences ahead of you, and I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

He didn’t look the least bit understanding or appreciative of her attempt at self-sacrifice. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re acting like you’re a hundred years older than me. What first do I have in front of me that you don’t have, too? Sure, you’re a couple of years older, but so what? I like being with you. I thought you felt the same.”

He liked being with her? It was hard to focus on what was important and not revel in that information. As for the firsts… “What about falling in love for the first time? You need to do that with someone your own age.”

He stared at her with the expression of a confident male. At that moment there wasn’t nine years between them. They were equals—or maybe he was a little in charge.

“Who have you been in love with?” he asked.

“Um, well, technically I haven’t been in love, but we’re not talking about me.”

“Your point is that you have a whole world that I haven’t experienced. But that’s not true. You told me that even during college you were coming home every weekend. It’s not like you had a great love affair. And since then, you’ve been involved with work and dealing with your mother.”

Aurelia began to regret all the things she’d told Stephen. She hadn’t realized he would use the information to win an argument.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” he asked.

She flushed but managed to keep looking at him. “No. Of course not.” She’d had sex. Once. Back in college. The night had been a disaster. For once, she hadn’t gone home for the weekend. She’d stayed on campus and gone to a party where she’d gotten drunk for the first time in her life. Not to mention the last time.

She remembered going to the party and meeting a guy. He’d been cute and funny and they’d spent a couple of hours talking. Then he’d kissed her and… She’d never been sure what had happened next. Events were blurry. She remembered him touching her everywhere and being naked and that sex had hurt a lot more than she’d thought it would. But there were no details, just vague images.

She’d spent the next three weeks sweating whether or not she was pregnant, and the next few months waiting to see if there was anything else she had to worry about. She’d managed to escape relatively unscathed, but nothing about the encounter had made her want to repeat it. Until now. Until a twenty-one-year-old boy held her and kissed her. Suddenly there were possibilities.

Life was nothing if not unexpected, she thought sadly. She’d finally found someone she could care about, and everything about him was wrong. She supposed it could be worse. He could be married or eighty or gay.

“I know what I want to do with the rest of my life,” she said. She had to do the right thing. “I have an established career and something resembling a life. Yes, I have issues with my mother, but I’m working on them. I’m going to keep working on them. You need to go finish college and find out what you want to do with the rest of your life. You need to find a girl your own age and fall in love and get married and have beautiful babies.”

It was difficult to talk. Her throat tightened, and her eyes began to burn. “You’re really special, Stephen. I want the best for you.”

“This is bullshit. You think I care what other people think? What does age have to do with it? Why can’t you be that girl? As for what I want to do with my life, why can’t I figure that out with you?”

“Because you can’t.”

“There’s an argument.” He grabbed her by the shoulders. “You’re the one that I want.”

“You say that now. But you could change your mind tomorrow.”

“So could you,” he told her. “I should trust you because of your age?”

What she wanted to say was that he could trust her because he knew her. But she knew he would tell her the same applied to him. The part that scared her was that she knew he could be right. Which left her exactly where?

“You scare me,” she admitted in a shaky whisper.

He immediately dropped his hands and took a step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Not that way,” she said quickly. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of what I feel when I’m around you. I’m afraid of what I want.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to see you again privately. We’ll go out on our dates for the show but that’s all. I can’t do anything else.”

“Aurelia, no!”

She turned and walked away. It wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do. She heard him start to come after her, then he seemed to change his mind. It was for the best, she told herself. It didn’t feel like it right now, but eventually she would get over him and move on. He needed to be with someone else. As for what she needed, she’d always been very good at thinking about others first.

FINN HELD the front door open as the last of Dakota’s guests left. When he’d returned with the prescription, the house had still been full of helpful friends. As he watched, they’d shown her the best way to feed the baby. That had been followed by a diapering demonstration and lots of other advice.

Denise, Dakota’s mother, had offered to stay, but her daughter had refused.

“I need to know if I can do this,” Dakota said, sounding brave.

“Call me if you need anything,” her mother said. “I can be here in ten minutes.”

Dakota looked like she was going to change her mind and ask her mother to stay, then shook her head. “We’ll be fine.”

Finn led Denise to the door.

“If things look desperate,” Denise whispered, “you call me.”

“I will,” he promised. Although if things looked desperate, his plan was to stay the night. It might have been a long time since his brothers were babies, but Finn remembered the drill.

He returned to the living room only to find it empty. Making a logical assumption, he went down the short hallway and into the baby’s room.

Hannah lay in her crib. Earlier, Dakota had changed the baby’s clothes. Everyone had agreed that she could wait on the bath. There had already been enough new experiences for one day.

Hannah stared up at the gently turning mobile. She was mesmerized by the rotating bunnies. But even as she stared, her eyes slowly drifted closed.

“I didn’t expect her to be so beautiful,” Dakota whispered as she brushed her daughter’s cheek.

He came up behind her and put his hand on her waist. “In about fifteen years, you’re going to have guys lined up around the block.”

Dakota smiled at him. “Right now I’d settle for getting through the night.”

“She’s on her medicine and seems to be feeling better. Her tummy is full, you know how to change a diaper.”

She stepped away from the crib. He followed her into the living room.

“You’re right,” she said brightly. “I’ve had a crash course in parenting. I’m going to be fine.” She smiled, which didn’t fool him. “You’ve been great. I really appreciate all your help. It’s been such a long day, you must be exhausted.”

She was working the program, he thought. Faking it with the best of them. He could see the terror in her eyes, but she was determined to be brave. At least on the outside.

This was where he told her he was leaving, he reminded himself. What they’d had before had been great. Fun and uncomplicated. Hannah changed everything. Dakota was now a mother. There were new rules, and he wasn’t going to screw with them. Getting out while he could made the most sense.

Except he couldn’t seem to leave. Her pretend bravery touched him. Her willingness to throw herself into a situation for which she was desperately unprepared made him admire her. Add that to the fact that he already liked her, and there was no way he could walk out. Even though it was the smart thing to do.

“I’m staying,” he told her. “You can’t change my mind, so don’t bother trying. You’re stuck with me for the night.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

She sank to the sofa and covered her face with her hands. “Thank God. I was trying to make everyone think I know what I’m doing. I don’t have a clue. I’ve never been so scared in my life. She’s completely dependent on me and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

He sat down next to her and pulled her against him. “Here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to get the baby monitor and put it in the bedroom. Then we’re going to get ready for bed. I’ll be here, so you’re going to sleep as much as you can.”

“I’d like to sleep,” she admitted, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“Then here’s your chance.”

She raised her head. “Thank you for everything. You’re my hero.”

“I’ve never been anyone’s hero before.”

“I doubt that.”

He stood and pulled her to her feet. Together, they walked toward the bedroom.

Inside of him, a voice screamed that this was trouble, but he silenced the words. He wasn’t getting involved. He was staying for one night and then things would go back to the way they’d been before.