Читать книгу Surrender In Silk - Сьюзен Мэллери, Susan Mallery - Страница 9

Three days later, she was still being debriefed.

“There was no warning before Nick Havers was shot?”

Jamie stared at her boss. She’d met Winston Danville III briefly, when she’d been accepted as a trainee. The man had white blond hair and icy blue eyes. There was something ominous about him.

He wore a gray suit with a white shirt and navy-and-red-pin-striped tie. He should have looked like an executive. His office was plush, his chair leather, his desk big enough to serve as a runway for small aircraft.

“No, sir,” she said firmly, although inside she was shaking.

He flipped through the file in front of him. “It says here you were the best recruit we’d hired in years. So why’d you act so irresponsibly?”

Jamie glanced to her left. She could see Zach sitting on a chair against the far wall. He’d accompanied her to all her debriefings, except for the one with the agency psychiatrist, and now he was silently observing her conversation with Danville.

Best recruit? Who had told him that? “Sir?”

“Rick Estes got the three of you lost. Well, the two of you. I doubt Havers was lost. Why’d you let Rick take charge if you knew he was wrong?”

Jamie grimaced. “You’re right, sir. I should have said something. He’d never acted like that before. It threw me. I kept track of our course. I was pretty sure about where we were. I’d drawn a map and—”

“You had a map?” Danville asked.

“Yes, sir. We weren’t given one, and that seemed odd. I didn’t think the point was for us to get lost.” Now she wasn’t so sure. “Was it?”

Danville didn’t answer the question. He shuffled a couple of papers on his desk. “According to your file, you’ve never expected special treatment because you’re female. You’ve pulled your weight. Why this sudden shyness around Estes? You sleeping with him?”

Jamie raised her chin slightly and met Danville’s chilly gaze. “Intimate relationships between agency operatives aren’t forbidden, sir. But, no, Rick and I are friends. I let him because—”

She hesitated. Dammit, she hated that she’d messed up, and on her first assignment, too. As for why she’d behaved so foolishly…she wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him the truth. She sneaked another quick glance at Zach. His impassive features didn’t give her much in the way of advice on the situation. She drew in a breath and figured she might as well risk making a fool of herself.

“I hadn’t been sleeping well. Nerves, I guess. I was tired and not a hundred percent. In addition, I couldn’t shake this feeling.”

“What feeling?” Zach asked, speaking for the first time.

His low voice made her shiver. She didn’t know what he was thinking, which was probably a good thing. But oddly, instead of resenting his presence, she drew comfort from him. He was the devil she knew. His brand of justice was swift. He wouldn’t torture her. If he thought she screwed up, he would just let her go.

“I had this prickling at the back of my neck.” She lowered her gaze to her hands and stared at the raw sores encircling each wrist. The ropes had rubbed away her skin. “I felt that something bad was going to happen. That’s why I made a copy of the map. I didn’t want to be unprepared.” She stiffened her shoulders and waited for his laughter.

“Why didn’t you report this feeling of yours?” Zach asked.

She turned to look at him. “What?”

“Obviously something bad did happen. If you’d reported your misgivings, we might have been able to prevent Havers’s death and the kidnapping.”

“By not sending me, you mean,” she said, and returned her attention to Danville. “I know Ernesto came after me because I’m a woman. I put the mission in danger.”

Zach swore.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Danville said. “Oh, I’m sure the fact that you were female pleased him. Ernesto knew that we would be bringing in two recruits. He arranged for the kidnapping, because he knew we’d pay to get you and Rick back and he wanted the money. You two wouldn’t have the training to survive. Not to mention the fact that it wouldn’t look good for the agency. Havers was an experienced field agent. That’s why they killed him.”

She stared at him and blinked. “You mean it wasn’t about me?”

“I told you, Sanders,” Zach said. “You make everything personal. It’s a big mistake. You’re going to have to get over that or you’ll never make it in the field. Ernesto had turned on us. He didn’t think we knew, but we were onto him.”

She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Nothing made sense. She tried to remember Ernesto’s brief visit to the camp. He’d been friendly with everyone. She’d had no idea.

Danville closed the file. “You may keep the hotel room here in town for a couple of days. Report to the agency on the twenty-second to get your next assignment.”

Jamie stared at him, then at Zach. “That’s it? I’m still in?”

Danville smiled. “You’re still in, Ms. Sanders. Congratulations.”

She shook his hand, then hesitated, not sure what to say to Zach. He ignored her, so she left. On her way to the elevator, she ran the brief conversation over in her mind. Danville hadn’t wanted to yell at her. She hadn’t been fired. She’d made it!

The elevator doors opened. As she stepped inside, a voice called, “Hold them, please.”

Her index finger hovered over the Close Door button, but at the last minute, she pressed Open. Zach walked in.

Instead of facing front like a normal person, he leaned against the side wall and stared at her. She glanced at him, then quickly turned her attention to the row of lights above the door. They flashed one after the other as they rode down toward the ground.

Her skin got prickly. She chalked that up to excitement and leftover nerves. Seventy-two hours before, she’d been in the middle of a Central American jungle, held prisoner by the enemy.

The elevator stopped on the twenty-first floor and let in three women. They were all dressed in suits, stockings and high heels. They dismissed her with a quick glance, while Zach became the focus of their attention.

Typical, Jamie thought with a trace of irritation. No one cares what a man wears, but a woman’s clothing is all-important. Well, not for her. She was off duty and she planned to spend it the way she always did—in jeans and a sweatshirt. Zach wore the same casual clothing, but while she looked messy, he looked…wonderful.

She grimaced. His sweatshirt, soft from countless washings, hugged his shoulders and emphasized his narrow waist. Worn jeans had faded to white in the most interesting places, including the seams by his hips and crotch. With his smoldering dark eyes and lean good looks, he was temptation incarnate. Assuming she was in the mood to be tempted.

She swore under her breath. She thought she’d gotten over her crush months ago. Oh, sure, she found the man attractive. Who wouldn’t? But it wasn’t about a man-woman thing. She wanted him to say Good job, Jamie. Well, done. She wanted him to like her.

Quit wishing for the moon, she told herself, even as she recalled the feel of his hand against her cheek when he’d rescued her. Why had he touched her like that?

When the elevator stopped on the ground floor, she quickly stepped into the foyer of the large office building. She hurried to the wide glass doors and stepped out in the crisp fall afternoon. A taxi had pulled up and emptied its passengers. She waved to get the driver’s attention, then jogged across the sidewalk.

“The Hyatt,” she said, as she slid onto the back seat.

“You don’t mind if we share, do you?” Zach asked, appearing at the door.

The driver glanced at her. She shrugged and moved to the far side of the bench seat.

They rode to the hotel in silence. Jamie could feel her tension increase with every mile. She clasped her hands together and stared out the window, refusing to acknowledge his presence or the odd heat in her belly. When they arrived, she handed the driver a twenty, muttered for him to keep the change and tried to make her escape.

It didn’t work. Zach followed her onto the elevator and, when she reached her floor, he stepped out behind her. She turned toward him.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“We have to talk.”

“No, we don’t. You’re not my training instructor anymore. You can’t punish me or humiliate me or tell me I’m not good enough. I made it, sir, despite your attempts to keep me out.”

He stared at her, his dark eyes as unreadable and bottomless as the road to hell. “Who do you think told Danville you were the best recruit we’d hired in years?”

“Wh-what?”

He grabbed her elbow. “Which room?”

“801.”

He steered her down the wide, silent hallway, then waited while she fumbled with the plastic card key.

The corner room was a mini-suite with a king-size bed, a sitting area and a wet bar. She’d been told not to expect this kind of treatment during all her stays in the capital, but this time was special. She’d graduated and survived her assignment. This was her reward.

Once inside, Zach led her to the sofa in the corner. She sat down, still trying to absorb his words. He’d told Danville she was the best recruit? He’d told Danville? No way. It wasn’t possible.

“But you hate me,” she said, glancing up at him.

One corner of his mouth turned up in a decent facsimile of a smile. “Yeah. More and more each day. That’s why I rode you so hard, Sanders. To make you drop out.”

“Well, wasn’t that the reason? You said women make crummy agents.”

“I said women had problems they had to overcome. You only heard what you wanted to hear. You made it personal, Sanders. You always do.”

Moving with the liquid grace she’d always admired, he sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of her. They both had long legs. Her knees were together; his were apart. If she slid to the edge of her seat, her knees would brush against his inner thighs. The intimacy of their positions startled her. Suddenly it was difficult to breathe.

Zach didn’t seem to notice. He leaned closer and grabbed her right hand. He stared at the raw sores on her wrist.

“Hurt?” he asked.

“Yeah. They gave me a medicated cream. It should help me heal pretty quickly, and I probably won’t have a scar.”

His touch was surprisingly gentle…as it had been in the jungle. His fingers brushed against her skin, sending a powerful current humming up her arm. She felt her eyes widen and she glanced down so Zach wouldn’t see.

No, she told herself. She wouldn’t make a fool of herself in front of him. He must never know that she admired and respected him, and that she had spent countless hours of training seminars staring at his butt.

He released her hand, and she nearly whimpered in protest.

“I wasn’t pleased about having a woman in my class,” he said. “I’d had them before. Too much work and trouble. They slept with all the guys and stirred up resentments. Besides, only one had ever passed the obstacle course in the time allowed.”

“I almost didn’t.”

“You worked your butt off for it, Sanders, and I respected that. You know when I knew you were going to make it?”

He respected her? The elation was powerful enough to make her giddy. She kept her gaze firmly on the small square of carpet visible between their feet and struggled for control.

“No, sir,” she said quietly.

“When I came out of the forest on a run one morning and saw you practicing. Sleep is a premium during training, but you gave up some so you could practice. Why do you think I helped you in the gym?”

She looked at his face. “You helped me? On purpose?”

He shrugged. “You had determination. I wanted you to succeed.”

“But you were so hard on me.”

“I was hard on everyone, Sanders. Who do you think granted your appeal on the obstacle course?”

She stared at him. Had she been misreading him the whole time? She thought for a moment, then voiced the question that had troubled her for days. “Did you really request me on the mission?”

“Yes, and I’m glad I did.”

He stood up and in the blink of an eye, the pleasant man she’d been speaking with disappeared. He placed his hands on his hips and glared down at her. “What the hell were you thinking? You let some snot-nose macho kid take charge when you knew he was wrong?”

His quick change in personality left her gasping. “I…I…”

“Well? Explain it. You’re smarter than most of the agents. They’re not going to like you for it, Sanders. So what? Get over it. Do your job. You’re no good to the agency if you’re dead.”

She sprang to her feet. “I made a mistake.”

“You’re not allowed mistakes. Why did you do it?”

“I thought I could keep track of where we were.”

He leaned toward her. “Why did you do it?”

“Because I—” Her eyes began to burn. Dammit, he wasn’t going to make her cry. “Rick’s a friend of mine. I didn’t want to make him feel bad, okay?”

“Not okay.” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

“Never okay. If you know you’re right, be right. Follow your instincts. When the skin on the back of your neck crawls, do something about it. If Rick or any other man is heading in the wrong direction, speak up. Use your brain, your intuition and every other ability you’ve been given. Because if you don’t, you die.”

She swallowed hard. “I was confused. I didn’t know why he was acting like that.”

Zach leaned closer, until she could feel his breath on her face. “He acted like a jerk because I ordered him to. It was a test and you failed.”

She brought her hands up and knocked them against his forearms, pushing his hands off her shoulders. She stepped back because the alternative was to slug him high and hard in the rib cage, just as her track coach had taught her. One part of her mind noted that Zach let her break his hold. She knew he could have taken her easily.

“Bastard,” she said, her voice low and angry. “Who gave you the right to play games with my life?”

“My job. I suspected this would be a weakness for you. You failed the test this time, Sanders, but you’ll never fail it again.”

She was speechless. Betrayal, pain and anger all swirled together. He’d set her up. Worse, he’d used a friend to do it, damn him.

“Get out,” she ordered.

“Not yet. There’s one more piece of business we have to discuss.”

“I have nothing more to say to you.”

“Don’t blame Estes.”

She glared at him. “I don’t blame Rick. I blame you.”

She turned away and walked to the window. From here she had a view of the capitol, but she couldn’t see the historical building or even the traffic snarling below. She couldn’t focus on anything except the fact that Zach had set her up.

She wasn’t mad at Rick. He’d just been following orders. But Zach. She’d hoped for something else from him. She grimaced and stared at the view. Funny how the broken dreams still had the power to hurt her.

“I did it because you can be more,” he said quietly. “You can be the best. Rick will stay with explosives. He’ll be a good man to have on a team, but he’ll never do the thinking.”

“Oh, and I will?”

“Maybe. Go ahead and be mad at me all you want. Just don’t forget what you learned. Next time I might not be there to rescue you.”

“May I remind you, Agent Jones, that I’m the one who saved your sorry hide?”

“I know.”

His voice was gentle. Too gentle. She felt her defenses slipping away. She tried to hold on to her anger, but it faded, leaving her vulnerable.

She didn’t hear him move, but she sensed him come up behind her. She stiffened.

“You have to deal with it,” he said softly. “Now. Or it’ll eat you up inside.”

She closed her eyes. “I’m not going to think about it.”

“That’s what the psychiatrist told me you’d said.”

“So much for confidential patient information.”

“You aren’t a patient. You were being debriefed. Dammit, Jamie, you killed one man and watched another die. You have to talk about it.”

She would have been fine if he hadn’t called her Jamie. “You never said my name before,” she whispered.

“Sorry. Sanders.”

“No, ‘Jamie’ is fine. I—Do we have to talk about it?”

“Yes.”

She swallowed. She didn’t want to even think about it. The horror was too great. Seventy-two hours later, she could still see the man falling to the ground. She could still feel the recoil of the pistol and the way her stomach had clenched and rebelled. She could see Havers’s body lying there.

When she’d spoken with the agency psychiatrist, she’d answered questions about the mission and her part in it. When the elderly man had tried to bring up the killing, Jamie hadn’t wanted to talk about it. She still didn’t.

“It wasn’t what you thought,” Zach said, still standing behind her. “You imagined killing someone, but it was different.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

She’d slammed the door shut on those thoughts, but his words opened it a crack. The first flicker of feeling swept through her, and she shuddered.

“You’re surprised because the killing is easy. It’s the forgetting that’s so hard.”

She turned to face him. He was close enough to touch. Large and looming, but he didn’t frighten her. Not anymore. “How do you know?”

“I’ve been there, Jamie. I want to tell you it gets easier. In a way, it does. But just when you think you won’t have to pay a price again, a death will hit you hard. Then you deal with it all over again.”

She had thought of him as uncaring, mean-spirited, even cruel. But at this moment, he was the kindest man she’d ever known.

“I can’t close my eyes,” she said. “I don’t see him falling anymore. But I can’t sleep. I’m afraid I’ll dream. I’m not sorry he’s dead. I just didn’t think—”

Zach reached up and stroked her face. His fingers brushed away tears. She touched her other cheek, shocked she was crying.

She spun away. “I’m sorry. I never cry.” She blinked hard, but the tears continued to fall.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’m stronger than this.” She tried to control her breathing. It didn’t help. A sob caught her off guard. She clutched the window frame.

“You don’t have to be tough all the time,” he said.

“Yeah, I do. I can’t—” Oh, God, she couldn’t break down in front of Zach. “Please leave,” she murmured.

Instead of leaving, he put his hands on her shoulders. She tried to shrug him off, but he ignored her efforts. He turned her and gathered her close, pulling her into his embrace.

She resisted, hating her weakness, hating herself for wanting to give in and borrow his strength.

“Hush, Jamie,” he said softly. “It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone.”

He knew her better than she knew herself. A sob overtook her, and she sagged against him. His arms came around her. He held her tightly, as if he feared she might be torn away from him. She cried until she was drained and empty.

Gradually she became aware of his body close to hers. Somehow during her outburst, he’d moved them both to the sofa. He was sitting in the corner with her curled up next to him. His arms held her close. She could hear the steady sound of his heart and feel the rise and fall of his chest. He smelled masculine and tempting. Very tempting.

The first trickle of desire was easily explained away. The second was more difficult. Then the trickle turned into a flood and she had to stiffen to keep from reaching out to him. Without thinking, without wanting to, she raised her head to look at him.

His dark eyes brightened with a fire she’d never seen before. A muscle twitched in his cheek.

“Dammit, Jamie, don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“As if I’m some kind of hero. You were right when you said I was a bastard.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, you do. You don’t want this.”

She wasn’t sure what the “this” was, but she was pretty sure she did want it. She’d never felt this way before. Guys had always been friends and amusing companions. She had more in common with them than with women. But she’d never felt the need to—

Slowly, cautiously, knowing he might turn on her at any moment, she raised her hand toward his face. Using just the tips of her fingers, she touched his jaw. It was midafternoon. She could feel the heat of him, and the prickling of stubble.

He grabbed her hand. This time his grip punished. He squeezed her fingers until she thought her bones might crack. But instead of pushing her away, he brought her palm to his mouth and kissed her sensitive skin.

She felt the fire all the way down to her toes. Her breath caught in her throat. Her breasts, which had never been more than a nuisance before, swelled and she began to sense the possibilities. Between her thighs, a different kind of heat formed and grew, leaving her feeling both bold and weak.

Zach bit the soft skin of her palm, then used his tongue to soothe the wound. He released her, then leaned back against the sofa and closed his eyes.

“The first damn day,” he muttered. “I spend six months avoiding this, and the first day you aren’t my responsibility, I blow it.” He swore again.

Blow it? Avoiding it? She stared at him. “You’ve wanted to have sex with me for six months?”

He grabbed her hand again, but this time he brought it to his crotch. She felt the long, hard desire there. Of course, she knew the mechanics of what went on. She’d seen naked men before. In high school, she’d had to walk through the boys’ locker room to get to the weights, and the teenagers often flashed her. But she’d never been impressed or interested. Until now.

Everything clicked into place. They’d both wanted the same thing and they’d both done their best to avoid it.

Zach started to stand up. Without thinking, Jamie shifted until she straddled him. She pressed against him to hold him in place. “Don’t go,” she said. “Please. I—”

She never got to say what she wanted. Just as well, since she wasn’t really sure.

Zach stopped her words with his mouth. He pressed his lips against hers, taking everything she offered and giving back more. When his tongue stroked against her tingling skin, she parted for him. She clung to his shoulders, her legs clamped around his thighs. Her world spun.

Nothing had prepared her for this. His hands were everywhere. Her back, her rear, her stomach, her breasts.

Her breasts. She sucked in a breath as he cupped her curves, then teased the taut peaks. She broke their kiss and arched back to give him more room. Every part of her body cried out for him. When he tugged her to the big bed in the center of the room, she went eagerly.

He made love as he lived—hard, on the edge, with an attention to details that left her weak. He removed her clothes, then traced every inch of her. As his mouth sought, then found, her sensitized nipples, his fingers performed magic between her thighs. She hadn’t known it could be like this.

She hadn’t known his chest would be so broad, or his muscles so supple. They moved and tightened in response to her tentative touch. He moaned low in his throat when she nibbled on his shoulder and tasted his salty skin. He caught his breath as he entered her tight, virgin body.

Later, when he’d shown her what all the fuss was about, when she’d stopped shaking and panting and the room was finally still, he braced his head on his hand and stared at her.

“You didn’t tell me,” he said.

She did her best to look innocent of the charge. “Tell you what?”

“That you were a virgin.”

“I—” She smiled uncomfortably and tried not to notice that they were both naked and the sheet and blankets were tangled around their feet. There hadn’t been any physical proof. Her active life-style had taken care of that years ago. “How did you know?”

His smile was rueful. “You were too surprised by everything.”

“Oh.” She felt herself blushing and she looked away. “I’m sorry if it was horrible.”

“It wasn’t.”

He placed his hand on her bare belly and stroked her skin. From there he moved up to her breasts. He cupped first one, then the other. Within seconds she was trembling and ready. He leaned close and took her nipple in his mouth. He licked the tight point, teasing her to mindlessness. Then he drew his hand down between her damp curls.

“If we make love again, you’ll be sore,” he said.

She parted her legs. “I’ll be okay.”

He smiled. A real smile. One that took her breath away. She realized she knew almost nothing about this man’s life. Not the details, anyway. But she knew him. She knew his soul. Surely that was more important.

She touched his short dark hair. “Maybe I won’t hurt so bad if I’m on top,” she said.

He laughed and hauled her close. As they touched from shoulder to shin, as his erection pressed into her belly, she felt a sense of homecoming. As if this was where she’d always belonged.

“How come you’re still a virgin?” he asked.

“I was a jock in high school and college. Most men don’t find that very sexy. I never got asked out, never went to my prom.”

He kissed her forehead. “I apologize for the stupidity of my gender.”

“It’s okay.”

“I have a cabin in Colorado. It’s not much, but it’s private and the view is spectacular. We could spend the week there.”

For the second time that day, she fought tears. This time she won. She smiled and nodded. “Let’s go.”

Just before dawn of the last day, she woke up alone. Jamie stretched, then reached for Zach, but he wasn’t there. She sat up. The back of her neck prickled uncomfortably, and she sensed something bad was coming. She even knew what it was.

A week ago, if someone had told her it was possible to memorize every inch of a person, to bring him to exquisite pleasure with her hands, mouth and body and still not know him, she would have thought that person was crazy. Now she understood the truth.

She and Zach had spent the past week together. She knew everything about his body and nothing about his mind. He silenced her questions with kisses. They ate together, read together, made love together and yet they were strangers.

She stood up and grabbed a flannel shirt from the bedpost. After slipping it on, she pulled on thick socks, then made her way into the living room. Embers from the fire cast little more than shadows, but she was familiar enough with the room to find her way in the dark. She was well trained enough to hear his breathing in the silence as he sat on the sofa.

She glanced at the window and saw the first hint of light. She wanted to get this over with before the sun came up. She didn’t want him to be able to watch her face. He read her too easily.

“We leave today,” she said. “So just go ahead and say it, Zach. It’s over, isn’t it?”

“It’s not that simple,” he said, his voice low and quiet in the darkness. “You have to choose.”

She hadn’t expected that. She crossed to the small dining set in front of the kitchen and pulled out a chair. The smooth wood was cold on her bare bottom. She shivered. “Between you and my job?”

“No, between your job and the real world. I made my decision a long time ago. I chose this world. I’ll never go back.”

She’d known from the beginning it wasn’t going to work. She’d known when he didn’t let her inside, when he didn’t share his heart, that this was just about sex. Maybe he picked a woman for every week off. Maybe she was the seventeenth one he’d brought to his cabin, just another notch on the bedpost.

“The job isn’t like selling insurance,” he said. “You can’t walk away from what you do. If you stay with the agency, you give it everything you have and there’s nothing left. You don’t get to be like everyone else. You live in the shadows, Jamie. You forget what it’s like to be in the light. You have the chance to be the best. You’ll pay a price for that. I want you to know—”

Her temper flared, and she cut him off. “What a terrific speech, Zach. How many times have you used it before? Shadows and light. Very evocative. But I’m not like your other bimbos. I’m not going to cry and I’m not going to beg. Save the rest of it for someone else. If you want me out of here, I’m gone.”

She rose to her feet. Before she could cross to the bedroom, he stood up and grabbed her forearm. She noticed he was careful to avoid the still-healing burns at her wrist. Damn him.

“This isn’t about me, Sanders,” he said. “It’s about you. You’re going to have to be faster, stronger and better. After a while, there isn’t anything left. I’m talking about an empty life. No family, no home—nothing normal.”

His words washed over her. She ignored them, ignored everything but the pain. She jerked free.

“You’re saying this because I’m a woman, right?” She shook her head. “You’re a hypocrite, Zach. I don’t see you having this conversation with Rick or anyone else.”

“Maybe they don’t have as much to lose.”

“Forget it. You’re asking me to give up everything I’ve ever worked for. Leave me alone,” she said. “I’m out of here.” She went into the bedroom and slammed the door. Ten minutes later, she was packed and heading out the door.

There was only one Jeep, but she didn’t care. She would leave it in town and pay someone to drive it back to him.

He made no move to stop her. She spared him one last glance as she started the engine. He stood in the doorway, wearing nothing but jeans. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, and the most dangerous. As usual, she didn’t know what he was thinking and she told herself she didn’t care.

She put the Jeep into gear and started down the mountain. The beauty that had enticed her the first few days no longer impressed her. She wouldn’t be able to look at a mountain without thinking about Zach.

As the sun crept over the eastern horizon, she told herself at least she hadn’t cried. She would put this incident behind her and pretend it never happened. Then the lie got caught in her throat, and she had to fight back a sob. Who was she trying to kid? Zach had been right—she took things too personally. She wanted to tell herself that in a few days she wouldn’t even remember him, but she had a bad feeling she was never going to forget.