Читать книгу Outrageously Yours - Susanna Carr - Страница 11
ОглавлениеJASON FOUND CLAIRE on the other side of the bonfire in line to get a drink. Her eyes widened when she saw him striding to her and her spine stiffened. She immediately stepped out of line and headed to where the cars were parked but he caught up with her.
“Why did you walk away after the dance?” Jason asked. He looked over his shoulder but no one was around. The light from the bonfire didn’t quite reach them, and they were cocooned in the shadows.
“The song was over. Why are you following me?”
Because he couldn’t stop himself. He was always aware of where Claire was, who she was with and what she was doing. Until tonight he’d thought it was because he’d assigned himself to watch over her, but now he wasn’t so sure his motives had been that noble.
“Everything was going great,” he said. “Dustin’s eyes bugged out and he’s probably going to make a move on you.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Getting Dustin’s attention is not part of my goal.”
“You want to create a persona. I thought we were doing that. Did you change your mind?”
“If you must know...” Claire rolled back her shoulders and looked him straight in the eye. “I don’t like being center stage.”
“Everyone wants to be in the spotlight,” Jason argued. “They want to be seen and heard. It’s human nature.”
“Not everybody. I do better behind the scenes,” she said softly.
Was she trying to convince him or herself? Did she think she didn’t belong in the spotlight because she found it easier to stay offstage? “You were able to put yourself out there when you got Max’s attention,” he pointed out.
“That was an unusual circumstance,” she admitted. “I can’t do it easily in the real world. It’s different when you’re online. You can create an image and no one has to know that it’s fake. No one sees the work you did to cultivate the image.”
“The whole point of this project is to put the spotlight on you so you can show what you are made of. What you are capable of doing. If that’s not going to happen, what are you going to do?”
She glanced over to where the cars were parked. The need to escape vibrated from her. “I think we should put more work into this idea.”
Jason wanted to roll his eyes. “What is it with you and work?”
She gave a shrug and looked at her boots. “Hard work has been my saving grace.”
“It’s like you want to hide behind your charts and calendars. We don’t have time for that.” He wasn’t sure why he was the one concerned about the schedule. It was usually Claire’s role to keep pointing at the clock.
“I’m feeling the time crunch.” She patted her hand against her heart. “Believe me.”
“Then what is it?” He wanted to fling his arms out in exasperation. “There is no work or thought behind acting wild and wasted. You just have to do something crazy and stupid. Everyone will take a picture and share it. People will remember what you have done this week, and that is what Max will hear about. What are you waiting for?”
Her expression was blank but tension rippled from her body.
“What did I say?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “I just realized that we’re going to need a new plan.”
Jason gritted his teeth and held back a growl of frustration. “Haven’t you been listening? You shouldn’t have a plan. You just—”
“No, seriously, Jason.” She started to wring her hands. “I can’t act like that.”
He stared at her hands and wondered where the panic was coming from. He had never seen her like this. Claire worried a lot but she didn’t give in to the panic. The worrying was her way of dealing with possible outcomes and working through it before it happened. “Why not?”
She pressed her lips together. “What if I don’t get this job?” she blurted out. “What if I’m sticking my neck out and making a fool of myself? How can I recover from that?”
Jason narrowed his eyes with suspicion. He didn’t think that was the real reason she was balking at his suggestions. “That’s not going to happen.”
“I’ve never gone all out pursuing a goal. I’m all about consistent and small steps. Even then, I’m holding back a little.”
“Why would you do that?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she muttered. “Maybe it’s my way of not getting too excited or too hopeful if it all falls apart.”
“But you have to go all out if you want to pass this test and get your dream job.”
Claire covered her face her hands for a moment. “I am so out of my comfort zone.”
Jason exhaled sharply. Why did she have to make everything so difficult? “Claire, haven’t you ever done something incredibly stupid that everyone found out and talked about it? They’re not talking about it now.”
“That’s because I haven’t done anything like that.” She frowned when he scoffed at her answer. She set her hands on her hips and glared at him. “Have you heard any rumors about me?”
He tried to come up with one but he couldn’t remember hearing any stories about Claire. He had heard plenty about his sister, but Kim had been proud of her antics.
“Well?” she asked with a defiant thrust of her chin.
“I just assumed you were good at covering your tracks.”
“I don’t make my mistakes public and I don’t bring attention to myself. That’s just how I was raised. The importance of image is ingrained within me and I can’t change my basic nature in just one night.”
He splayed his arms out. “Why not?”
His question flustered her. She fidgeted, shifting from one foot to the next. He watched, fascinated, as her mouth opened and closed but no words came out. She wanted to say something but couldn’t quite find the courage to say it.
“Oh, this should be interesting.” He rocked back on his feet. “Got any deep dark secrets I should know about? Or have the statutes of limitations not run out yet?”
“This idea isn’t going to work.” She crossed her arms. “I don’t know why I didn’t realize it sooner. We should quit while we’re ahead.”
“Quit?” He was stunned. Claire Miller didn’t give up. She kept at a project, trying different things and not stopping until she got results. And now she was going to abandon her idea because it made her uncomfortable? “Since when has that word been in your vocabulary?”
“I can recognize when something isn’t going to work. There is no way I can make anyone think I’m an adventurous or spontaneous woman.”
“Yes, you can.” He may have had a different answer earlier today but he was used to seeing her passionate nature focused on business. He wanted to see her tap in to her sensual side.
She couldn’t look at him. “You don’t have to say that, Jason. Don’t worry, I’m letting you off the hook. We’re even.”
Jason hesitated. That was what he wanted, wasn’t it? If she wasn’t pursuing this crazy goal, he wouldn’t have to protect her. This had turned out easier than he had expected. Now was the time to say thanks and walk away. So why wasn’t he?
“It’s not like you to give up,” he said.
She flinched. “I was crazy to think I had a real chance at this job. Those kinds of careers are meant for other people. Not for me.”
“There’s something I’ve always admired about you, Claire,” he said gently. “You are the most tenacious person I know. I wish I was more like you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Say what?”
“I wish I had your discipline and your willpower,” he confessed. “I don’t know what you call it...your commitment? Your stubbornness?”
“Thanks, but you live a charmed life. You don’t need discipline to get by.”
He wasn’t so sure about that. “And if anyone can create a new image in just a few days, it’s you.”
Her expression softened and her blue eyes seemed bigger. “I appreciate the support, Jason, but those qualities you just listed are standing in the way of me being a wild party girl.”
Jason wanted to argue but there was some truth in her words.
“I can try to push out of my comfort zone,” Claire continued, “but it’s not going to be enough. I could do something outrageous and everyone at this party will explain it away because I am the serious one. Or worse, they won’t notice.”
But they had noticed—when he was with her. “Then I’ll do it for you.”
She blinked hard. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Jason was just as astonished that he had made the offer. But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. “There’s something that Dustin said to me tonight. His opinion of you changed because I was with you.”
She looked around him and stared at the people circling the bonfire as if she was trying to find Dustin. “Changed how?”
“He thought you were more like the women I usually date. Is it because you dressed differently? Is it because you danced with me?” He gave a shrug. “I can’t say, but my reputation is transferring onto you.”
“There has to be something more than that.”
“We’ll figure it out as we go along. Yeah, yeah.” Jason held his hands up in surrender. “I know, the very idea makes you have an anxiety attack. But this means you don’t have to act wild and crazy. I can do it for you.”
“I don’t understand,” she said. “How is that going to work?”
“Simple. I will act drunk with love for you.”
* * *
CLAIRE STARED AT Jason’s mouth. His lips were settled into a grim line. She couldn’t have heard that correctly. She was daydreaming again. That had to be the only explanation.
“You’re suggesting something like when a movie star wears a borrowed designer dress on the red carpet,” she said as if she was in a trance. “It lifts the status of the designer and it helps the star maintain her brand.”
“I guess,” Jason said. “What do you think? This will work.”
The only difference between her analogy and their predicament was that her association with Jason would not help him. Their friends and acquaintances would question it until they figured out the truth. “You think that if you act crazy in love with me—”
He winced. “Let’s go with infatuation.” He shook his head once he said the word out loud. “Uh...in lust?”
Her pulse skipped a beat as she imagined what life would be like if Jason Strong was overcome with lust for her. “And if you are in lust with me, how does that help my reinvention?”
“I can make you the center of attention. I will get the right people to talk about you and make the gossip catch like wildfire. Everyone will wonder how you have me under your spell.”
“You can get people to notice me just by showing me some attention?”
He dipped his head and hunched his shoulders. Even in the shadows she could see the ruddy color staining his face. “I didn’t mean that.”
She knew he was uncomfortable with how conceited it sounded, but it was true. “Let’s call you the influencer. When you recommend something or use a product, it influences your wide circle of friends to do so the same.”
Jason dragged his hands down his face. “Here you go again with your social media terminology.”
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed about your influence. You don’t realize how much power you have because you’ve always been the leader of the pack.”
“I didn’t ask for the role. It was given to me. It doesn’t make sense,” he said in a grumble. “You’ve accomplished so much by yourself and no one sees it. They won’t notice you unless I notice you. Where’s the logic in that?”
“It’s okay, Jason.” She reached out and placed her hand on his arm. “I haven’t made a point of promoting myself so people aren’t going to notice me without the help of an influencer.”
“It’s still unfair.”
She had learned early that life wasn’t meant to be fair. After growing up with sisters who never struggled at school, it was disheartening how much she had studied and didn’t get the same results. They could do math in their heads, ace a test without cracking a book and received grades she could only dream about.
“So, what do you think about my idea?” Jason asked.
What did she think about Jason Strong wooing her? Seducing her? Her heart fluttered against her chest. She would be living out her fantasy. For a whole week! Claire tried to keep a thoughtful expression as excitement pulsed inside her. Who cared if it was pretend?
She couldn’t appear too eager as she accepted his idea. There had to be a problem with this plan but for once she wasn’t going to weigh the pros and cons. She was willing to take the risk. She wanted to know what it was like to be with Jason.
Claire understood that if he truly was in lust with her it wouldn’t last. She wasn’t the kind of woman who could keep his attention. In fact, no woman was. But this way she could enjoy the experience and there wouldn’t be any long-term awkwardness once their “fling” fizzled out.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked cautiously. “Won’t it hurt your status? When two brands that don’t match up get together, it’s always a disaster and then both brands are doing damage control.”
“It’s the easiest and quickest way to change your image,” he decided.
“What about your professional reputation?” she asked. “People might look at you differently if you act like a sofa-jumping man in love.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “No, it won’t affect it at all.” He paused. “Any other excuses you can come up with?”
“They aren’t excuses!”
He dipped his head and captured her gaze with his. She couldn’t glance away.
“Yes or no, Claire?” There was no twinkle in his eyes. It was rare to see him this serious. “I should warn you, there are some rules.”
She clenched her jaw. “You tell me this now?” She didn’t like having surprises sprung on her and Jason knew that.
“First, you have to follow my lead.”
Her shoulders slumped. “I should have known there was going to be a catch.”
He had a determined look that she found mesmerizing.
“When I do something to support this crazy scheme, don’t question it and don’t fight it. Just trust me.”
“Just like that?” Part of her wanted to follow him wherever he led. She wanted to see where he would take her. But she had to be in control of her surroundings. She couldn’t give up that control just because Jason asked for it.
“And the second rule...” He paused as if he wasn’t sure if he should continue. “If I’m going to publicly pretend to fall for you, the least you can do is let me catch you.”
Her mouth parted in surprise. He was worried she might reject him? Where had he gotten that idea? Had she hid her desire for him so well that he thought she found him repulsive?
“Do you agree?” He frowned when she didn’t respond. “Yes or no, Claire.”
“Yes.” The word dragged out of her throat.
He gave a sharp nod. She couldn’t tell if he was satisfied, relieved or resigned. “I’m going to kiss you now.”
She took an automatic step back. “Why?”
“Rule number one,” he reminded her as he cupped her face with his big hands.
“I’m just trying to figure out why you think this is the right time.” She was beginning to babble. “If we had used a spreadsheet, we could have staged a proper buildup and—”
He claimed her mouth with his. Claire gasped, her breath hitching in her throat as heat washed over her. This was no brushing of the lips or a gentle exploration. It was a hard and demanding kiss, as if he couldn’t wait another moment.
His touch broke the barriers she had carefully built. Claire returned the kiss with a hunger she hadn’t realized she had. The heat billowed inside her as she swiped the tip of her tongue into his mouth. His fingers tightened against her jaw as he captured her tongue and drew it in sharply. Claire felt the pull deep in her core and moaned with delight.
She wanted to be closer, to melt into Jason. She clutched the back of his head with her hands and greedily returned his kiss. Her skin felt tight and tingly as she ached for his hands to explore her body.
Claire had no idea how long the kiss had lasted when Jason pulled away slowly. She stared at him, gulping for air, not sure what to do or say. He looked as amazed as she felt. He dropped his hands as if her skin burned him.
Claire swallowed hard and reluctantly lowered her hands. She kept her gaze on his reddened lips. She couldn’t look him in the eye. She didn’t want him to see how much that kiss affected her. “I have to go.”
“You’re walking away?” There was an edge to his voice. “Again?”
“If I stay then we will have to continue this charade, and we don’t have a strategy in place,” she said hoarsely. If she stayed then she would cling to Jason and drag his clothes off. “Now is the time for me to leave.”
“Let me walk you to your car.” He bunched his hands at his sides and she knew he wasn’t going to touch her again. “And we will figure out our story along the way.”
* * *
MINUTES LATER, Claire walked into her apartment, wondering how she was going to get through the week when Jason could kiss like that. She flipped on the lights, closed the door and leaned on it. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to get addicted to his touch.
Her cell phone rang. Was it Jason? Her pulse galloped as she retrieved it from her purse. She felt a mix of relief and disappointment when she recognized her best friend’s number. Claire answered it quickly. “Kim?”
“I just got a picture of you and my big brother kissing,” her best friend said in a rush. “Tell me that it was edited.”
Claire covered her face with her hand. Someone must have captured them kissing at the party—and the photo had gotten around fast. Her friend lived across the state managing the Mountain Creek vineyards. “Where did you get a picture?”
“Oh, please. I still keep in touch with people in Woodinville.” Kim paused. “So it’s real?”
“Uh...yeah.”
“You and Jason?” Kim’s voice rose to a screech. “What is going on? When did this happen?”
Claire sighed. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“You always say that,” she said with a groan. “But this looks like a hot and steamy lip-lock. I swear he’s about to toss you over his shoulder and take you to the nearest bed.”
Claire’s legs wobbled as she imagined Jason doing just that.
“Wait...are you alone?” Kim misinterpreted Claire’s silence. She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Is he with you?”
If she was alone with Jason after that kiss, she would not have answered the phone. “No, nothing like that,” Claire said with a sigh. “He’s helping me with a project.”
“Don’t give me that crap. I know you’ve always harbored a secret crush on Jason. You weren’t obvious about it, but I could always tell what you were thinking.”
“I’m serious, he’s helping me out,” Claire insisted as she walked to her sofa.
“And Jason has had a soft spot for you since the day he met you,” Kim continued. “Sure, he ignored us all through high school but he did watch over us. I thought that was a phase, but when he needed help with the wine bar’s marketing, he didn’t go with the big advertising companies or hire a public relations firm. He decided his PR person was going to be you, and he didn’t consider anyone else.”
“I didn’t know that.” Claire slowly sat down. She had always assumed it was Kim who had pushed for Mountain Creek to hire her.
“But you’re familiar with Jason’s bad relationships. He doesn’t date indiscriminately anymore—and I’m using the word date as a euphemism—but he still doesn’t get serious with women. He only hooks up with the ones who just want a good time.”
“I know.” But didn’t anyone think that she wanted a good time? That she could have a strictly physical relationship? Some might call her a little uptight, but that didn’t mean she required every part of her life to be serious.
“You’re familiar with all this and you’re hooking up with him? Honestly, Claire, how dumb are you to get involved with him?”
Claire closed her eyes and gripped the phone tightly.
Kim gasped. “I’m sorry, Claire! I didn’t mean that you were dumb! You know I wouldn’t mean that!”
“It’s okay, Kim.” Her voice was steady.
“No, it’s not okay! You hate that word. I have no idea why I said it.”
“I’m not sensitive about it anymore,” she assured her friend. The word didn’t cause her pain. Maybe a pinch but that was all. “I know I’m not smart. I’ve taken enough tests to prove it.”
“That’s not true.” Kim’s tone was firm. “Those tests don’t tell the whole story.”
She still remembered the battery of tests she’d had to take as a teen at the neuropsychologist’s office. It had been exhausting, as if the tests had sucked out everything from her brain. It wasn’t at all like the standardized tests she had struggled with at school.
But what she remembered the most was the outrage her parents had displayed when they were given the results. Not only had it turned out that she had several learning disabilities, but she had also scored below average on the IQ test. Her parents refused to believe it.
“It takes smarts to overcome those obstacles,” Kim insisted. “It takes smarts to make something out of yourself. To be a business owner.”
“To hide my low IQ score,” Claire added. Her parents had insisted that the family hide the results. They didn’t tell the school, doctors and relatives about anything, even the learning disabilities. Claire had agreed. She didn’t want anyone to know that she was flawed and defective. Different.
Her parents had believed the tests were wrong and went to another expert and then another until they finally decided to abandon the pursuit for answers. They hadn’t liked what they had heard. In their opinion, Claire just needed to apply herself and work harder.
“They are your parents and I’m sure you love them, but they were wrong in how they handled the situation,” Kim said in a grumble.
“They thought it reflected badly on them.” That something was wrong with them and it had transferred to their child. They couldn’t have that. Her parents were considered geniuses in their field. Their computer programming careers and their identities were based entirely on their intelligence.
