Читать книгу Midnight in the Harem - Люси Монро, Susanna Carr, Люси Монро - Страница 15

ZAHIR waited for Angele to take the words back, or at the very least, enumerate these said conditions. But she simply stared off into space, breathing shallowly.

“This is unexpected,” he said finally when it became apparent she had nothing else to add.

In fact, he was so stunned his usually facile brain had the speed of cold honey in processing her immediate capitulation.

“Disappointed?”

Oddly he was. And not a little bit wary as well.

“I am aware you love me,” he said, feeling his way in a blind negotiation he had not expected in any form at this stage. “I still believed your pride too wounded to make our reconciliation an easy one.”

She laughed humorlessly. “You believe I’m agreeing to marry you because I love you?”

“Why else?” The prospect she had suddenly decided to submit to duty was not the comfortable thought it should be.

“We didn’t use condoms that night.”

His brow wrinkled as he tried to catch her point.

“So?”

“So.” She rolled her eyes and waved at her stomach as if that was answer enough.

His brain had no trouble catching up this time and the implication stole all the air from his lungs.

“Surely you were on the pill, or some other form of birth control. You planned the night well ahead of time.” He’d been certain of that during their night together and even more convinced after seeing her letters to the kings and polished press release she’d left behind.

“Yes, I planned it. No, I didn’t go on the pill as part of my preparations.” Self-loathing laced her voice. “I should have … I realize that now.”

“Why the hell not?” he demanded, his voice raised in a way he never allowed.

“I don’t know. It wasn’t rational. I know that, but I thought … one night. I was a virgin, disgustingly naive. I wouldn’t get pregnant.” She frowned. “I thought you’d use condoms.”

He ignored the last statement and concentrated on the ones that came before it. “You are too smart for that.”

She glared at him and then seemed to deflate. “Yes, I am. There’s no excuse. I really just thought … I don’t know. I’ve tried to understand why I didn’t say anything when you didn’t use a condom, but my excuses are feeble and stupid. Even to me.”

“You expected me to use condoms?” He couldn’t dismiss the claim a second time.

Her brow furrowed as if she didn’t understand his question. “Well, yes.”

“Why?”

“Why not? We weren’t lovers. For all intents and purposes, what we had was a one-night stand.”

“What we had was a premature wedding night,” he practically shouted and then took a deep breath in shock at himself.

She waved her hand in dismissal, apparently unmoved by his loss of cool. “Call it what you like, but I expected you to use condoms and when you didn’t … Well, that first time, I was just so lost to the moment and afterward, I thought the damage was already done.”

“Damage is right.”

That brought the glare back, but there was something else in her expression, something he couldn’t quite name. “What is your problem? You’re getting your way.”

“You think this is me getting my way? My first child has been conceived without the benefit of a wedding ceremony. I have spent my entire life protecting my family from scandal and now it will visit itself on my child. He or she will forever carry the stigma.”

“Please. This isn’t the Middle Ages.”

“If this child is my heir, his throne could be called into question.” He cursed, using more than one language and feeling like that still was not enough to express his fury at the current development.

“Do a DNA test.”

He drew himself up and scowled. “I do not doubt his paternity.”

“I know that.” She rolled her eyes. “I meant so there could be no question of the baby’s parentage to others. Anyway, it might be a girl.”

“Yes, because the men in my family are so good at fathering female offspring.” They hadn’t done so in five generations that he knew of, not in his direct lineage anyway.

She turned an interesting shade of green and started taking more rapid shallow breaths.

“Are you well?” What the hell was he asking? She was pregnant. Of course she was not well.

“Morning sickness,” she gasped between breaths.

“It is nowhere near morning.”

“The baby doesn’t seem to care.”

“This is not acceptable.”

She cringed, her expression filling with too many emotions to name. “You don’t want the baby?”

“Of course, I want this child. How could you ask such a thing?”

“Well, you’re acting like it’s the end of the world, or something.”

“Are you that naive?”

“I am not naive. Not anymore.”

“I disagree. You have not considered the complications this pregnancy will cause. It will be all over the press. After a lifetime of protecting my privacy and behaving with circumspection, I will make a bigger tabloid splash than your father and my brother combined.”

“You don’t want me to have this child? You think I should terminate my pregnancy?”

“Have you lost your mind?” How had she gone from what he had said to something so reprehensible? “Do not ever suggest such a thing to me again.”

“I wasn’t suggesting it. I’m not the one having a temperamental fit.”

The accusation snapped the last thread of his control.

“Did you do this on purpose?” he leaned forward and asked, memories of Elsa’s betrayals freshly branded in his brain. “Was this your way of getting back at me for my relationship with Elsa?”

“Now, who’s making insane accusations?”

“Women scorned have been known to do worse.”

“You never scorned me, you arrogant ass!” Then she swallowed convulsively and scrabbled for the button that would open the sunroof.

He reached up and pressed it when she seemed unable to make the stretch. “When you were eighteen, and I refused your kiss.”

“That was five years ago.”

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”

She took several deep breaths before saying, “I can’t believe this.”

“Join my world.”

“Oh, get over yourself.”

Fresh air came in through the opening in the roof and Angele leaned back in her seat, seemingly breathing easier. Good.

He mentally ran through a list of things needed doing. Consulting an eminent obstetrician was top of the list. “You are not taking this seriously, what this pregnancy means.”

“Oh, I’m taking it seriously all right. I know exactly what it means.”

“Oh?” She certainly had not shown proper understanding so far.

“Yes.” She shot daggers with her usually doe-soft eyes. “It means I’m agreeing to a marriage I don’t want.”

“Why?”

“Why what?” she asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“Why agree to the marriage?” “Because I’m not a stone-cold bitch.” “I never said you were.”

“My mother told me something a few years ago. It was after I found out about my father’s infidelities. I apologized to her for having to live in the States where I could know relative anonymity, instead of her home country of Brazil where she was better known. She’d done it to protect me.”

“I am aware.”

“Well, she told me I had nothing to apologize for, that from the moment a baby is conceived, his or her needs must come first.”

“You are willing to marry me for the sake of our child.”

“Under certain conditions, yes.” The limo pulled to a stop.

She looked at him with that same sick expression she’d had before opening the sunroof. “We’re not at the restaurant. We’re hours too early for dinner.”

She swallowed convulsively on the word dinner.

“No, we are at your apartment building. I originally had planned to give you time to get ready for our date.”

“More like, you intended to seduce me before dinner and hoped to cement the romantic proposal over dessert.” The words should have been mocking, but she merely sounded resigned.

“You think you know me.” She was wrong. On the proposal over dessert part.

He’d planned to woo her in person for two weeks before popping the question, so to speak.

“What?” she asked. “It would have been a good plan, if unsuccessful.”

“You do not think I could seduce you?”

“I’m positive you could. Even feeling like my stomach is a jumping board for little green men right now, but I still wouldn’t have said yes to your proposal.”

“But you will now, because of the pregnancy.”

“Neither of us has a choice. This baby deserves better than to be shunted to the side as the unacknowledged offspring to a future king.”

“I would never refuse to acknowledge my child.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, in fact, I do not.”

“Never mind. This arguing is making me even more nauseated than usual.”

The sickly pallor to her skin lent truth to her claim. He mentally shook himself. Now was not the time for recriminations. What was done, was done.

He had been right earlier; she clearly needed taking care of.

“Then we will not argue.”

“Thank you.” She sighed again, letting her eyes close as she seemed to concentrate on her breathing.

When the driver opened the door, Zahir wasted no time exiting and then leaning back inside to help Angele alight from the car. Once she’d cleared the vehicle, he bent and lifted her into his arms.

She gasped. “What are you doing?”

Flashbulbs went off and he knew this picture would show up in the media sooner than later.

“I am caring for you. You clearly need looking after.”

“The papers are going to have a field day with speculation accompanying those shots.”

“They’ll have more than enough juicy tidbits of truth to publish over the next weeks.”

“We’re not going public with the …” She looked around and closed her mouth.

He carried her toward the building allowing his bodyguard to go inside first and the rest of the detail to bring up their rear. “These things have a way of making it to the light. Better to announce the happy event than scramble to respond when some tabloid does.”

She let her head fall onto his shoulder. “I don’t want to.”

“We will talk about it later,” he said in his newly formed determination not to cause her stress with further disagreements.

Angele sat at the bistro-style table in her kitchen and watched with bemusement as Zahir efficiently prepared a pot of peppermint tea.

“You are awfully comfortable in the kitchen for a Crown Prince,” she observed, happy to focus on anything but recent revelations.

She’d done a lot of facing reality and growing up over the past weeks. Realizing she was pregnant at all, but much less with the probable heir to the Zohrian throne, was all the catalyst she’d needed to shed the last of her naiveté. She’d been shocked by her own joy, even in the face of all this pregnancy would mean.

Like she’d told Zahir, the baby came first, but more than that, she already loved her child and always would.

Angele would do what needed doing to make sure her child’s life was all it should be, but that didn’t mean she wanted to talk about it right then. She was just starting to feel something other than nauseated.

Zahir shrugged as he finished pouring the boiling water through the infuser into the teapot. “According to my mother, the inability to do something as basic as make a cup of tea is the mark of laziness rather than wealth.”

“I’m sure Lou-Belia would agree with her.”

“Your mother is an imminently sensible woman.”

“You think it sensible to stay with a man who chose infidelity over argument in the attempt to convince her to have another child?” she asked, curiosity rather than bitterness in her voice.

Between discovering she was pregnant and accepting the inevitable consequences that would have for her life, Angele had come to terms with a lot of things. Her present required all her energy; she didn’t have any left over to dwell on her family’s past.

Zahir carried the teapot and two mugs to the small wrought-iron table. “Life is what it is.”

“I think I’m finally learning what that really means.”

“She chose what she considered the lesser of two evils.” Zahir’s tone said he knew what that felt like.

In his position, she would be surprised if he didn’t. Nevertheless, Angele warned, “It’s not a choice I would make.”

“You cannot doubt that things are completely over between Elsa and me.”

“No, but there are other Elsas in this world.”

“I have no interest in them.” “I hope that’s true.”

“You doubt my word?” Zahir’s shock was almost comical.

She poured the tea, adding a scant teaspoon of sugar to hers. “Not exactly.” “Then what, exactly?” “The future. I doubt the future.” “Well, don’t.”

She wanted to laugh, but simply shook her head. “If only it were that easy.” “It can be.”

“Certain safeguards would make it easier.” “The conditions.” “Yes, my conditions.”

“For you to marry me, despite the fact you carry my child.” He stirred not one, but three teaspoons of sugar into his tea.

She’d always found his sweet tooth endearing, something she knew about him that few people noticed. Because he didn’t eat desserts. But he did drink cocoa and put lots of sugar in his coffee and tea. Seeing evidence of that sweet tooth now brought a measure of comfort, a reminder that not everything had changed.

He was still the same man she’d fallen in love with from afar, the same man she’d planned for most of her adult life to marry.

“Yes.”

“I’m not going to like them, am I?” “No.” There was no point in sugarcoating it—no matter how much he might like sweet things, but she wasn’t going to feel guilty for trying for some semblance of assurance for her future, either.

She might not be that naive, year on from university woman who believed she could have a one-night stand with the man she loved and come out of it relatively unscathed, but she still had to have some level of hope for her future. His agreement to her conditions would give her that.

He sat back, his mug in one hand, his eyes fixed on her with that patented intensity of his. “I am all ears.”

She took a deep breath and went for broke. “I want a prenup that guarantees me the right to raise our children in the United States in the event you take a lover.”

She waited for the explosion, but none came. He simply sat, sipping his tea in silence and looking completely unperturbed.

“Nothing to say?”

“I assume there is more since you said conditions plural, not condition in the singular.”

“Yes.” Was he really as sanguine as he appeared? “I mean it.”

“I assumed you did.”

“You aren’t angry.”

“Considering your past, such a condition is hardly a shock.”

“But …” He would never countenance his children being raised outside of Zohra. She finally stuttered as much out loud.

“Naturally not, but since it won’t happen, I fail to see why I should become upset over your need for the reassurance on that score.”

He was right, it was a reassurance. He might not maintain fidelity for her sake. However, she was wholly convinced that he would for the good of their children and the sake of the throne he protected so carefully.

Feeling light-headed with relief he’d accepted the first and she would have thought the hardest hurdle to overcome, she said, “I am glad you are not offended.”

“I would be, if I believed your request was based on a lack of trust in me personally.”

“You don’t?”

“It’s obvious that your past has a great deal of bearing on this, as I have said.”

“And you do not think your ongoing relationship with Elsa figures into it all?”

“That was before we were formally engaged.”

“You said you considered us as good as.”

“In one respect that is true, just as in the same respect, a part of me already considers the throne of Zohra mine. However, it will not in actuality be until my father abdicates in my favor or sees his final days on earth.”

“So, you did make a distinction.” She was more thankful to hear that than she would ever admit to him.

“Do you not know me even that well?” he asked, sounding like he was finally feeling the offense she’d expected him to take earlier.

“I thought I did and then I got those pictures.”

He winced. “Point taken.”

“I realize now, I was hopelessly naive in my expectations, but those photos devastated me,” she admitted.

She had no trouble reading his expression for once, it was pure dismay. “You believed I would be celibate once the contract was signed?”

“Yes.” She felt foolish for that belief now. It had been a teen girl’s fantasy she’d never reconsidered in the light of adulthood. At least, not until she’d been forced to. “You see, I was.”

“When I signed that contract, I was a twenty-four-year-old man. You were a thirteen-year-old girl.”

“Are you saying it would not bother you if I had taken a lover since becoming an adult?”

He opened his mouth and then shut it again, no words emerging.

“Smart choice.”

He frowned. “My initial response does not paint me in a favorable light.”

“No doubt.”

“Your other conditions,” he prompted, clearly not wishing to dwell on his unpalatable double standard. “There are only two more.” “They are?”

“Your heir is allowed to have a childhood.”

“I had a childhood.”

“Until you were seven, yes I got that.”

“I was not an unhappy child.”

She was convinced that a man of Zahir’s strength would have bloomed under any conditions, but she refused to allow her own children to face the same exact sort of childhood he’d been raised with. “This is not a negotiable point.”

“You do realize that saying something like that to me is like waving the red flag to the bull?”

“I didn’t—now I do.”

“You wish to rephrase it?”

“No.”

His brow rose in clear surprise.

“I am willing to marry you despite major personal misgivings for the sake of our unborn child. There is no point in doing so if being raised amidst the royal family of Zohra will be a source of unacceptable sacrifice and potential unhappiness for him.”

“I told you, I was not unhappy.”

“And I’m telling you, that heir to the throne, or a youngest daughter, it doesn’t matter to me. My children will have the chance at a true childhood.”

“As defined by you?”

“Ultimately, yes, but I am open to discussion on issues of importance to you.” “I will enjoy the challenge.” “Of course you will.” “Your final condition?”

This should be an easy one for him to accept, considering his own circumstances. “None of our children will have their marriages arranged for them.”

“I acknowledge you are not as pleased with our arrangement as you were in the past, but that is no reason to dismiss centuries of tradition.” A full measure of offense laced his voice and drew his spine ramrod straight.

“It’s a tradition that should have disappeared with the Dark Ages.”

“I disagree.” If anything, his tone became more clipped. “The practice of arranging marriages is still common in the Middle East, parts of Asia and Eastern Europe. Just because you were raised in a different culture does not mean one is superior to the other.”

“Your brothers are both happier because their marriages came about because of love rather than a contract.”

“And my parents fell deeply in love after marrying because their parents arranged it.”

“The risk of it not working out is too big.”

“Love is no guarantee of happiness.” He sighed. “Surely your parents’ own marriage is enough to prove that to you, but if not—merely consider the divorce rate of your adopted country.”

“I’m really surprised this is such a sticking point for you.” This was the one condition she had believed he would accept without argument. “I would have thought that your own present circumstance enough to convince you.”

“You were wrong.” He said nothing more, simply staring at her with a bone-deep determination that she had no doubt carried sway at any table of negotiation.

But she couldn’t back down about this. Zahir would never have been forced into marriage with her if not for that stupid contract. He would never have shown any interest in her and she would never have demanded that night in his bed.

The guilt she felt for doing so now was a big enough burden to carry. She couldn’t bear to think of her own children having to submit to those kinds of circumstances.

She took a fortifying sip of tea, but he spoke before she got a chance to further her case. “I will offer this compromise.”

She looked at him expectantly, waiting to hear what his supreme skills at negotiations would come up with.

“We will not force our children into an agreement.”

“That’s hardly a compromise. No one forced, or even cajoled you, for that matter. You signed that stupid contract out of duty and a sense of personal obligation.”

“And I am not the one regretting that choice.”

“You would be if Elsa hadn’t slept around. You’d be wishing you could marry her right now.”

“And if I had married her, even if she had been sexually faithful, I would have tied myself to a callous gold digger.” He sounded like he considered that salvation from a fate worse than death. “The contract has been nothing but a boon in my life.”

“That’s why you looked at Amir with such envy at his wedding.”

The shock on Zahir’s features lasted less than two seconds, but it was enough for Angele to know he had not believed anyone had realized he harbored those feelings. “I expect to enjoy a relationship as fulfilling with you.”

“I thought you made it a practice never to tell an outright falsehood.”

“Eventually,” he added, as if the word were pulled from him with rusty pliers.

She almost smiled. He was so intent on doing his duty, he would even create a hope for the future that had no basis in their current reality.

“But you do not believe love has any place in an agreement such as ours.”

“We are getting off topic.”

“Yes, we are. No arranged marriages for our children.”

“I will agree not to press an arrangement on our children, but will not refuse to exercise my authority in conducting a negotiation on their behalf should they wish for me to do so.”

She had a feeling that was as good as she was going to get on this point. “You absolutely promise to abide by the spirit, not simply the outlined terms on this point?”

“You are not a competing business or political interest. Believe it, or not, I do know the difference when it comes to family.” Which was not a yes, but might actually be something even better.

It was acknowledgment that she, and their children, fell in a different category than other entities in his life. She might not have his love, but she would have a unique place in his life.

That would have to be enough.