Читать книгу Remain Silent - Susie Steiner - Страница 15

He flushes, reminded of the adultery in his thoughts about Bridget.

Things have happened very quickly with Juliet because they were both so enthusiastic about the trappings of coupledom: the moving in together, the holidays, weekend walks, cushion choosing, casserole making, box set watching, less and less hot sex having; the whole insulation from loneliness a project in itself. This hunkering down, which in many respects is a closing off of the wider world, a narrowing of their circle down to two, but a sure-fire dependable two. Closing the curtains on the world’s diverse riches – riches like Bridget and her snarky sense of humour and lively expression. While wanting to hunker very badly, Davy can feel the loss of his interactions – solo interactions – with the world at large. The way he used to say yes to every invitation in case he met someone, the way he would force himself to go to a thing alone, a force of will when every fibre of his being wanted to watch telly with a ready meal. He has been all too ready to give up the strains of moving through the world alone, but cannot help noticing the way he feels blunted by the seclusion he and Juliet are gathering about them like a thick wool blanket.

Not all his interests are contained behind the drawn living-room curtains, with the telly on and the heating a smidgen too high, comfy though it is. It is also boring.

No, he tells himself, Bridget can’t be right for him because Juliet is The One, and Juliet has put her salt and pepper mills in the dental surgery starkness of his Sapley rental. And once you’ve pooled salt and pepper mills, there really is no going back. Also, Juliet has been soaking up the neglect and disappointment the job creates: the way investigations kick off at no notice, holidays postponed. She has greeted these disappointments with barely suppressed aggression. This complex interplay between them cannot (should not) be compared to the breezy clean sheet with someone where no guilt or recrimination has built up at all (aka Bridget).