Читать книгу Everything Fails - T Van Santana - Страница 7

Plum said: “So I’ve been feelin’ it bad for someone.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, only half-listening while counting my split ends.

“Yeah,” Plum said. “Do you wanna know who it is?”

“Who is it?”

“Wendy,” they said.

“Wendy like my Wendy?”

“She’s not your Wendy,” Plum said. “She’s a free agent.”

“It’s a figure of speech, Plum.”

“Well it’s a shitty one.”

I sighed. “You mean the Wendy that I went out with two years ago? That Wendy?”

“Yep.”

“Oh,” I said. “Whatever.”

“So, are you guys cool?” Plum asked.

I guess, I thought, but wasn’t sure. “I guess,” I said. “But I’m not sure.”

“Well would you try anyway?’

“Try what?”

“Try to talk to her …”

“About what?”

Plum let out an exasperated sigh and popped up.

“What the fuck?” I asked.

“Are you serious with this shit?” Plum asked. “I want you to ask her out for me.”

“Jeez, Plumkin, all you had to do was ask.”

Plum handed me a small piece of folded paper.

I looked at it. “What the fuck is that?”

“It’s a love note.”

“What is this, eighteen ninety-six?”

“Just take it! It’s romantic, goddam it.”

“Yeah, okay.” I took the note, looked at from a few angles, then shoved it in my leather jacket. “Did you get my smokes?”

Plum nodded and handed them over.

I handed over the bits. “Yeah, the store near me still won’t sell to me. Fuckin’ stern motherfuckers got to ‘em.”

“Wendy’s dad is a stern, isn’t he?”

I nodded and lit a smoke. “Betchyour ass he is. He’s, like, the longhorn stern motherfucker.” I held up three fingers. “Three zones, one dude.”

Plum looked sobered by the thought. “I’d say that’s a stern motherfucker.”

“Fuckin’ a.”

Plum shook it off. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

I smirked. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Last period. You. Wendy. Get me the info.”

“Yeah, yeah. I got it.”

Plum put a little swing in their step as they walked off, high on the idea that Wendy’s love would be forthcoming.

Of course, that’s not exactly how it went. But you probably knew that.

So after soccer or football or whatever in fuck you want to call it, I found Wendy, sweaty and cheery.

“Hey doll!” She gave me a little wave.

“Hey,” I said. “Good practice?”

“Yeah, it’s all right. What’s shakin’?”

“Oh, not much. I just thought I’d skip the last block and hoof it to a park. Wanna go?”

“Shit yeah,” Wendy said. “Let’s do it, bitch.”

“Cool.” I lit up a smoke.

Her eyes got interested. “Got one for Mama?”

“Sure do.”

I pulled out another, lit her up.

“Sweet. Let’s bolt.”

“Yes, please.”

We walked to the guard station. The automatics could have held us in, but parents had a shit fit over their kids being held on grounds by automated security, so they’d hired Hank. “The human factor,” they’d called it. So delinks like us called ‘im Hank the Human Factor, or Hank the Human, or Hanky, or the Hume. Shit like that. Problem was, of course, the human factor. Wendy was great with the human factor.

She batted her eyes at the Hume. “Hey, Hank.”

Hank straightened his back and tie. “Uh, hello there, Miss Wendy. You’re looking lovely this morning.”

“Why thank you, Hank. Say, could you do me a favor?”

Hank swallowed hard. “Uh, if I can, Miss Wendy, I will.”

“Great. See we forgot something we need for a class project. It’s due tomorrow. So, we have to go get it. Like, now.”

Hank’s skeptical. He’s not a fucking idiot. But he is the human factor in a perfectly automated security system. And he’s got a lot of pressure on him—what with the parents, and Wendy’s big eyes blinkin’ at ‘im, and Wendy’s dad, the sternest of stern motherfuckers.

“Uh, Miss Wendy …”

“Yes, Hank?”

“I dunno if the Marshal would care for me letting his daughter, um …”

“Really? Do you think we should call him?” Wendy asked. “We could tell him about this and all of our talks, right? Ask him what he thinks?”

Hank’s face went pale, and he disabled the gate. “I, no, I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I trust you, Wendy.”

“Miss Wendy, you mean?”

“Right, right. Miss Wendy. Of course.”

Wendy blew him a kiss. “Thanks, Hanky Panky.”

Hank made very little eye contact with me, nor I with him. I just walked on by, and he just let me.

“I kind of want to fuck him,” Wendy said to me.

“Gross! Really?”

She laughed and didn’t say. “Wanna go to Von Brandt?”

I nodded. “Cool.”

Von Brandt was a park. We were forever fucking hanging around in parks. Why? Free. Open to the public. Poorly supervised. That kind of thing.

We cut through a res zone on the way.

I looked around. “Doesn’t your mom live around here?”

“Bitch.” That’s all Wendy said. I wasn’t sure if she meant me or her mom, but either way, she didn’t want to talk about it.

We reached the park, and it’s like the fucking Summerland. The feeling’s hard to articulate. But I felt it, rich and free and expansive, and I saw Wendy felt it too.

“I so fucking hate school,” Wendy said.

“Yeah. Me too.” And, boy, did I.

We found a secluded area with a park bench. Wendy threw her canteen down and stripped off her cleats and socks.

“Fuck, those smell!” she said, waving her hand. “Sorry, sweetie.”

I honestly didn’t give a shit. “It’s cool.”

Wendy sat on the tabletop and flexed her short little toes. She patted a spot next to her. You know, like you would for a dog. And like a good little doggie, I hopped right up there next to her.

“So. What have you been up to?” She smiled, lowered her head, and said, “No good?”

Truth was, my life was pretty fucking boring. But I didn’t want to say that. Can’t be boring with Wendy. So I said, “Well, you know me.”

She scratched at my arm lightly. “Yeah, I do, kitten. You’re a bad one.”

Wendy sucked on her cigarette, making the coal hot at the end, and her lips tight around the base of it.

“How about you?” I asked.

Wendy shrugged, blew the smoke out through her nose, said, “Nothin’ fun. Dad’s had me on house arrest.”

“Like, literally?”

She flicked some ash. “May as well be, right? Bull that he is.”

It’s true, I supposed. “That’s true. I mean, I guess.”

I let her relax for a minute and did the same, while trying to get around to asking her about Plum.

Wendy leaned her head back and grabbed her neck, cigarette pointing to the sky. “Aw, my neck.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Fuck yeah,” she said. “Rub it for me?”

“Sure.” I scooted in closer.

I got the familiar smell of her. Even under all the smoke, I could still pick out the notes all Wendy.

“So you know my friend Plum, right?”

“Big lips?”

“I guess.”

“Long legs?”

“Yeah,” I said. “You know, we hang out on the quad all the fuckin’ time?”

“Yeah, I think I know who you mean. We have art together.”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Oh, that feels so good,” Wendy said, letting smoke crawl over and down her lips. “Don’t stop.”

I didn’t.

Wendy’s eyes went wide at the edges, narrow in the middles. “What are you sniffin’ for, sweets?”

I felt the blush response. I didn’t really want to blush, but I guess my body did, so I did. “Uh, well, it’s fucking Plum …”

Wendy smiled, curious and interested. “You’re fucking Plum, huh? I’d pay to see that.”

“No, no! Not me and Plum …”

“Aw. Too bad.”

I wasn’t sure if she’s fucking around or not, so I just went ahead with the damn note. “They said to give you this.”

Wendy looked at it, then at me. “What the fuck is that?”

“It’s a note.”

“What’s a note?”

“You know, like a love note.”

Wendy’s face lit up. “Get the fuck outta here! Like a love letter?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Somethin’ like that. But, you know, written on shittier paper and folded all weird.”

Wendy didn’t care. She snatched it from my hand and started trying to open it. “How do you open this motherfucker?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea. I got the impression Plum didn’t want me to read it, so I didn’t.” Truth was, I couldn’t figure out how to unfold it in such a way as I could refold it. So I’d said fuck it.

Wendy got it, unfolded it, and started to read. She held it, the paper flapping in the breeze, the smoke between her fingers still burning, some strands of hair whipping across her face. She’d intermittently brush the hair away, take a puff, and straighten out the paper.

I sat patiently as I could, smoking. I finally asked, “Anything good?”

“It’s sweet,” she said, still reading.

I nodded. “Yeah, well Plum’s a sweet one.”

“What does auric mean?” Wendy asked.

“Well it can mean a few different things, but Plum probably intends for it to mean golden.”

Wendy nodded, kept reading.

“Pull … um … this word.” Wendy dipped the paper and pointed to the word.

“Pulchritude. Means beauty.”

Wendy’s brow furrowed. “Why didn’t they just say beauty, then?”

I shrugged. “Plum’s dramatic.”

Wendy eyes stayed on me for a moment, then she resumed reading.

I flicked away my smoke, sat with my arms folded and legs stretched out. I tried to enjoy the sun on my face.

The rustle of the paper drew my attention back.

“I can’t refold this thing …”

“It’s your note now. Fold it however you want.”

“True.” Wendy folded it in half, then quarters, then eighths, then shoved it in her leather jacket. “Whatever.”

I smiled, noticed her cig’s burned down. “Wanna another smoke?”

“You know it.”

I popped one out for her. She wrapped her lips around it, her hands on my hands. “Light me up.” It waggled in her mouth as she said it.

I did as she asked.

She took her time to form a good cherry, then pulled it out of my reach. She made it glow bright, then blew smoke all over me.

I bathed in the sensual pleasure from her smoke, then lit my own.

“So?” I asked.

“So, what?”

“So what about Plum’s letter?”

“I told you … it’s sweet.”

I nodded. “Yeah, okay. Whatever. It’s just that Plum’s looking for a report here.”

Wendy cocked her head. “That the only reason you brought me out to the park?”

I felt a stir.

Wendy pulled her jersey up and off.

I watched it sail through the air.

“Well, I, uh … Plum wants to know if …”

Wendy flicked away her smoke, dropped down from the tabletop to the bench and slid up close to me. “I mean, Plum’s sweet, but I can’t do anything with that.”

My throat went tight and hot. I felt the heat swell all over me and couldn’t see anything except Wendy in the sun.

Wendy put her hair around mine, her face very close to me. “I mean, what do you think?”

I swallowed. “Think about what?”

“Plum?” Wendy put her hands on either side of my face. “I mean, what do you think I should do?”

My pulse picked up and threatened my loyalty to Plum. I dropped my cigarette.

“Well, I … uh … I think you should do what you want.”

Wendy’s breath was hot on mine, her lips brushing my cheek very near my lips when she talked. “Anything I want?”

“Anything you want,” I said, softly.

“Even if it’s bad?”

“What could be so bad?”

She let her lips touch mine, but just a little. “Oh, I can think of some things that are pretty bad.”

I just sat there, our hair pushed together creating a little tent for our faces, our lips touching, barely.

“Wanna see?” Wendy asked.

Of course I did. But Plum … “I dunno. I mean, Plum …”

“Forget about Plum. Plum’s sweet, but Plum’s not here. It’s just me and you here.”

“Yeah …”

“So, do you wanna see?”

“Yeah. I do. Badly.”

She smiled. “Good. Lemme show you.”

I moved in, pulled by her gravity, my mouth leading the rest of me straight into her puffed lips, ready to receive. Wendy put her lips on mine and that was that. I was hooked.

We took some breath with our foreheads resting together.

“What the fuck am I gonna tell Plum,” I said, not really asking.

“Tell them that it just happened. You know. You did what they asked, but then it just happened.”

“How did it just happen?” Plum asked. And not nicely.

“Shit, Plum, I dunno. She just kept taking more clothes off and …”

“Shut up!” Plum covered their ears. “I can’t hear any more!”

I couldn’t help but smile. I was happy as shit. Not that I’d hurt Plum, but that Wendy and I were together again.

“I trusted you!”

“Yes, I suppose that’s true, but you also picked me.”

A deadly sort of calm came over Plum. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I mean, you asked me to do this.”

“So? You’re my best friend.”

Probably true. Plum wasn’t my best friend, but I was theirs.

“Yeah, okay, whatever,” I said, “be that as it may, but still, you picked me to talk to her. I had no interest in Wendy whatsoever.”

Plum’s eyes grew dark. “So, you’re saying this is my fault? That I did this?”

“Well, not that you did it, per se, but you had a hand in the events as they unfolded …”

Plum broke my nose. Like, fucking punched me in the nose, broke it, blood gushed everywhere. It was fucking nasty.

Then they just walked away.

Shit only got worse.

They started something of a hate campaign, enlisting random strangers to tempt my blade with comments from the corners of the halls.

I confronted Plum.

“What the fuck, Plum? When is this shit going to stop?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Plum said. “How about when you’re dead?”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. Deal with it. Now get out of my face, before I cut you.”

A blur, and I’m at the park again. Chemmed up.

“Where is that dirty motherfucker?” I yelled. “I’m gonna fuck ‘em up.”

Tijn tried to calm me down. “Listen,” he said, “maybe you should just chill out. You know, sit under a tree or somethin’.”

“Fuck that,” I said.

“I think I saw them over by the tables,” Kilroy said.

Tij looked at Kilroy, then asked, “What the fuck are you doin’? Can’t you tell they’re fuckin’ blitzed?”

Kilroy shrugged.

“Good,” I said. “Then I’m on my way to take a big fucking bite of Plum.”

I stormed toward the tables.

“Fuck, wait,” Tij said to me, then to Kilroy, “Thanks a lot, asshole.”

I reached the tables and my chemical-infused eyes took in a motley cast that I knew from shit gatherings like this one. “Where the fuck’s Plum?” I shouted.

They all stopped talking and looked at me, then around at one another.

This dude, Bosse, said, “Why don’t you take it easy, okay? Come on over and have a drink and sit down.”

I knew Bosse from school. He’d taken my sister’s virginity, which I wasn’t supposed to know, but I did. I think I knew it then. Pretty sure.

“Fuck that.” I skulked around the edge of the group, looking between and among people, trying to find fucking Plum.

“What’s the big deal?” this dude Argos asked.

“Plum’s sniffin’ after my girl, is what’s the what.”

“Who’s your girl?”

“Channah.”

“Channah?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

“No.”

“Yeah,” I said. “Channah. I saw Plum talking to her. Wait … where the fuck did she go …”

“I think she’s down by the lake with Trix,” Argos said. He’s being friendly, and I could feel it.

“All right,” I said. “That’s good. I’ll go down there when I’m done.”

I tried to bat the chems from my eyes and shake them from my limbs. No luck.

“I thought you were with Wendy,” Argos said.

“It’s complicated.”

“Hey, why don’t you sit down for a minute and rest. You’re looking kind of cooked.”

“Fuck off.”

Argos withdrew the hand he’d extended and sipped his drink.

“Where’s my fucking gun?” I asked.

“Wait, you have a gun?” Argos asked. “Here?”

“Well, yeah. In my car. Wherever in fuck I parked it …”

“Hey, they’re sayin’ they have a gun …” Argos shouted to the group.

I saw Tijn was there, too, talking to Bosse. I knew they were buds from way back. Tij looked sufficiently hopeless that he would be able to wrangle me and had given in to his very strong fucking need to socialize at all costs.

“Fuck you, Tij,” I shouted because I felt abandoned and left by that rat motherfucker.

Tij shrugged and shook his head.

“Just calm down, Honey,” Bosse said.

“Fuck off with that honey shit, Bosse,” I said.

Bosse’s one of those motherfuckers who had a nickname for everyone. Honey was his nickname for me. He’d thought it up at the pool one summer and gotten stuck on it. It’s fucking annoying.

Argos put his hand lightly on my shoulder. “Please, just take it easy, okay? No one is upset with you. You’ll feel better if you calm down.”

I swatted his hand away. “I’ll feel better when I’ve pitted that Plum.” I was running out of fruit metaphors, but I wasn’t above reusing them.

“Who is Plum?” Argos asked.

“You don’t fucking know Plum?”

Argos shook his head no.

“Yeah you do,” Bosse chimed in. “Plum lives over by Ford, who’s the bass player in Doron’s band.”

“Doron who fucked my sister, Doron?” Argos asked.

“I guess,” Bosse said. “Did they fuck?”

“Yes, they fucked,” Argos said. “What an asshole.”

“And dirty motherfucking assholes flock together,” I said. “Plum. Ford. Whoever fucked your sister. They’re all alike, man.”

“Yeah,” Argos said. “I guess.”

“So help me find this motherfucker, and we’ll get some justice.”

I watched as Argos’ rage gave way to the wake of better judgment.

“I don’t know. I mean, talking shit about someone is one thing. Shooting someone is something else.”

“Fuck that. Don’t be an asshole.”

“What? Why am I an asshole?”

“If you’re not helping me deal out sweet justice to these fucks, then you’re one of them,” I said not really believing anything of the sort. But I was trying to put the pressure on so he’d help me find Plum so I could shoot them.

“I still think you should take it easy.”

“Aw, fuck you, then.” I pushed Argos.

His drink spilled some on his cutesy little plaid shorts.

“Hey, now!” he said. “You don’t want to get hooked up with me.”

I smacked the bottom of the cup and sent drink spraying everywhere, including all over him.

There’s a lot of laughter from the peanut gallery.

I saw that rage from earlier show back on his face, and he took a step toward me, arms back at his sides, like he was gonna rend me once he reached me.

“Yeah,” I said. “C’mon motherfucker! Let’s do this!”

Bosse stepped between us. I hadn’t even noticed him walk over.

“Listen, Honey. I’m not asking you now, I’m telling you to sit the fuck down and relax. Before you hurt yourself.”

I took a swing at him, but my fist fell short of his head by about an inch and a half.

He blinked then took a sip of whatever in fuck he was drinking. “Don’t do that again,” he said. “I like you. A lot. And I don’t want to see you get hurt. But I’m not gonna let you hurt me or anyone else.”

“They’re not gonna hurt shit on me,” Argos shouted from behind Bosse.

Argos was taller than me, but Bosse was almost a foot taller still, so I could only hear Argos after Bosse stepped in.

I ignored Bosse’s warning and swung again.

He just put his hand on my sternum, which interrupted my swing and kept me away from him.

I felt my enthusiasm for fighting these dudes wane and slumped down to the ground. My legs just came from under me.

“Good,” Bosse said. “Just chill out. You’ll feel better. And besides, fucking Plum’s gone. They left, like, thirty minutes ago.”

“It’s not fair,” I said.

“Who said it was?”