Читать книгу Little Cat - Tamara Faith Berger - Страница 9

MAN NO. 2

My friend knew that I hadn’t been with anyone in a while. He told me about this girl at the bar where he worked who’d been coming in for about a year. He said she always came alone, and she almost always left with someone different. He said she was really good-looking. My friend told me he thought that she’d just broken up with someone, because she’d hadn’t come in for a couple months and now she was back, a few nights a week, sitting alone. She hadn’t let anyone take her home yet, my friend said, but I bet if you came you’d get her.

The night I decided to go, I was feeling pretty good. I remember the second I walked into the club I saw my friend and her talking already. He saw me right away too. He pointed to me and she turned around and smiled. She was really good-looking. Her hair was long and dark and kind of wild at the bottom. Her breasts were large. She was wearing a short skirt, bare legs. Her legs were uncrossed. We didn’t talk so much right away. I felt like I couldn’t really speak to her. We just sat beside each other and drank. I saw her hands were gripping her wineglass and rubbing up and down the stem. I moved in a bit closer to her so that our arms were touching. She didn’t pull away.

Then my friend started giving us a bunch of drinks on the house. We began talking, I don’t even remember about what, and I let my hand go under the bar. My fingers started touching the top of her thigh. She was letting me, I mean she relaxed into it, and I could feel that feeling of knowing in us both. I wasn’t used to that kind of knowing in a girl. And she was smiling, pretending like it wasn’t even happening, which was turning me on more. I began rubbing her thigh, feeling up the crack of her legs pressing together.

When I got up to her panties she turned to me and her eyes were glassy.

‘I’m going home now. You want to come with?’

We were drunk. I grabbed her hand and we left the bar fast together. I’d forgotten to say goodbye to my friend. While we were sitting in the cab on the way to her place, I started feeling up in the exact same place on her thighs. This time she spread her legs open a bit for me. I slid my hand under the bottom of her skirt. My fingers dug into her thighs. Her relaxation was tightness now, it was amazing, it was like she knew how to play with that line. I felt this heat coming from her pussy. Her panties were wet. She was squirming for me.

When we got to her building, she led me up two flights of stairs. I watched the parts of her ass move together and apart under her skirt. She knew that I was looking at her ass, so she pushed it out more and started laughing.

She didn’t turn on the lights in her apartment. She just let me in and shut the door behind us. We passed through a living room area with a couch and a TV and I followed close behind down a hallway to her bedroom. I kept looking at her ass, so round in her skirt. I was happy for the street light outside that came through her bedroom window at the end of the hallway. The light outlined her ass, it made her so fucking sexy.

She walked over to the window and pressed her hands up against it. I got behind her and pushed myself against her ass. She was still kind of laughing. I reached around and squeezed her big breasts through her shirt. She started pushing back and circling her ass into me. I put my chin on her shoulder, my lips to her neck. She smelled like wine. I kept opening my mouth on her skin. I looked down at my hands on her tits. I was pinching her big nipples through her shirt, which was blousy and flowered and thin.

Then she squirmed out of my grip and turned her body around toward me. Her tits were thrusting into my hands. I started to feel up under her shirt and her bra but she held down my arms.

‘Wait,’ she said.

She stood a few inches away from me and leaned her head back into the window. The glare from the street light was stronger here and it made a halo of greenish light all around her. She lifted up her arms slowly and took off her blouse. Her breasts looked so huge. I’d actually never seen breasts so big on such a short girl. Her nipples were hard under her white bra. It looked like a sports bra, which wasn’t too sexy, but the shape of her nipples, rectangular, made me not care. Then she unzipped her skirt and walked out of it. She was standing there so close to me in her sports bra and panties. I really wanted to fuck her. She unbuttoned my shirt and took it off. She unhooked her bra. There was pounding in my ears. I couldn’t stop thinking: I’m seeing her naked tits right in front of me and she wants me to.

Then she walked behind me and rubbed her breasts into my back. I let out tight breaths. She lay her hands on my shoulders, slid them down and around my chest. She started pinching my nipples. She kept doing it, pinching harder, until my breath got faster. She was putting her mouth and her tongue all over my back. Her lower body was grinding against me.

My whole body went hot for a second, like I was going to come right then. I turned around quick, I needed to fuck her, her chest rising, her nipples purple and hard. I looked toward her bed. It was a double bed low to the ground, heaped with sheets and plaid blankets. She crossed her arms over her tits like she was amused. She watched me take off my pants and my underwear. She was staring at my hard cock.

I opened my arms to her and tried to kiss her but she jerked away. So I grabbed her. She started squealing. I bent her body in two and I gripped her hard by the waist. Her head was near the floor and she was bracing her hands on the edge of the bed. Her hair was splayed out like a broom. The cheeks of her ass were opening up.

We were moving in and out with each other in the rhythm of fucking. Then for one second the girl stopped. I don’t know from where but she handed me this condom.

‘Put it on,’ she said.

My cock was pointing right at her asshole, not her pussy. My hands felt like they weren’t working right, my fingers were filled with jelly. The girl’s panties were still on, they were stuck in her ass crack because she was so wet. I started putting on the condom and she was moaning, I thought I heard her say do it do it. She was wiggling her ass and pumping her knees. I wanted to fuck her ass. She reached up to pull her panties off.

The girl was grinding her naked ass toward the head of my cock. I steadied her. I pushed my cock near the entrance of her hole and she pumped her ass up so I slid into the bottom of her pussy. Fuck, it was hot. She started grunting really deep. Her back looked like a slide. I reached around her waist and started feeling for her clit. It sounded like she was praying; saying yes, saying please, saying god. I just kept gripping her hips, going in and out fast. Sweat was running down my face.

Then she let go of her hold on the bed with one hand. She stuck her fingers in her mouth and started sucking. I thought she was trying to stop herself from screaming. She was pumping her whole body back and forth under the street light. I slammed her into my hips, I saw her ass shake. I was watching my prick going in and out of her but I couldn’t, I couldn’t, if I looked I was going to come. I just kept thrusting into that place, my balls were buzzing, fuck I was gonna come, I wanted to tell her how much I liked her right then, this dirty hot girl, I was fucking so hard, I was going to come way too fast, her ass was squeezing, still moving. I bit my lip. I was bolting my weight through the cave of her, coming …

We both fell forward onto her bed. I thought she was cursing. I didn’t know if she came or not. When I pushed up off her, I was breathing hard. She was writhing, still pumping, moaning fuck fuck fuck.

I was kneeling on the floor beside her bed. It smelled like food, like scrambled eggs or something. I thought it was the sheets. She pushed up off her stomach and turned around. Then she climbed on me and started showering my neck with these soft kitten kisses. I felt like an animal. My stomach churned.

‘Look,’ she whispered, holding my shoulders. ‘I want to talk for a while. Stay. Will you stay?’

‘Okay.’ I stared up at the ceiling. There was a long silence where I knew that she knew that I didn’t really want to.

The girl motioned me back up beside her. She pulled up the huge heap of covers at the foot of the bed. I got in and we lay down on our backs as she covered us with a bunch of the smelly sheets and also a plaid woollen blanket. She grabbed my hand tightly and laid it on her stomach. We were lying close enough together that her breast was touching my side.

‘Look … Look, I just … ’

She started to speak a few times like that, but nothing would come out. I lay there and stared at the ceiling. I noticed a hook for a painting coming out of the wall. She was trying and trying to speak but she kept swallowing her words.

‘Just tell me,’ I finally said. ‘It’s okay.’

‘Okay. Okay. I had this friend, he did it to me once … ’

‘What, like I just did?’

‘No, no. Not like that.’

‘Like what?’

‘I wanted to feel like that again … ’

‘Like what? Tell me.’

‘Do you really want to know?’

‘Yeah. I’m right here.’

I was stroking the back of her hand and playing with her fingers. Then I turned on my side and put my thigh over hers. She had gotten so worked up about something that she was shivering, even under all the covers.

‘I like being tied up,’ she said quickly. ‘He tied me up.’

‘How?’

‘How did the guy tie me up?’

‘Sure.’

‘I was looking at some pictures of girls like that. I found this magazine, it was pictures of these girls hanging from the wall by hooks, from the ceiling by hooks, with their ankles up and their wrists knotted together. Girls with ropes between their legs, I mean, rope tied in knots all over their naked bodies and then the biggest knot was between their legs. Their knees were bent underneath them. Their elbows were stuck together. Those girls’ eyes were open, they couldn’t move, they were being watched! Someone was taking these pictures!’

‘Yeah, I’ve seen those kinds of things.’

‘So I bought myself some rope, because, I guess, I wanted to see, you know … ’

‘By yourself?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why by yourself? I thought it was with a guy.’

‘Wait. I just wanted to try it first and see how it was. Listen: it didn’t stay that way, being alone.’

‘Okay.’

‘I was lying on the floor in front of the mirror in my bedroom, actually just right over there, and I tied one of my wrists to my ankles and I put the rope – this miniature brown hairy ball of twine that people probably bought for their little cats – I put it underneath me. I mean, I put it under my ass. And I had to touch myself, it was the feeling, that fraying twine on my skin, how I couldn’t move normally. I was locked like that with that texture all over me … ’

‘Yeah?’

‘I wrapped my whole chest. I did it so my tits pushed nearly back to my chin. I pulled up the twine up between my legs … My back was arching, these sounds were coming out of my lips and I held the ends of the rope down on either side of me and I started thrusting my chest in the air, feeling the rope go up into my pussy and my breasts fucking jiggling and I couldn’t move my legs, all right?’

‘Yeah?’

‘And he walked in on me!’

‘Who?’

‘The guy I was seeing.’

‘Who was it?’

‘I’m not going to tell you his name … ’

‘That’s not what I meant.’

‘I was in love in with him.’

‘Oh.’

‘And he started yelling at me: What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? I saw his face. He looked like he was going to hit me.’

‘He did?’

‘My eyes squeezed shut.’

‘He hit you?’

‘He was so mad at me.’

‘I could never hit a woman. Never. Absolutely fucking never. I don’t care what she was doing.’

‘I felt his breath over me, these rapid huffs. And I thought for sure he was gonna hit me and I just stayed there, god, I couldn’t move away. I was trying to stop from even breathing … But when I opened my eyes, I just opened them in a blurry slit, I saw that he was in my underwear drawer looking for something. Then he came back to me, down at my legs, he was crouching right at me, where the biggest knot was. He had my camera, my clit was pulsing so fast … ’

‘So he didn’t hit you. Thank god.’

‘He took pictures of me. He took all these pictures while freaking out and sweating and unwinding the rope and throwing it twisted all over my body!’ She was shaking. Her arms were strangled so tight around her chest that her tits came up near her chin. She ripped the plaid blanket off herself.

‘I hated him right then. I told him: Fucking tie me tie me tie me back up! I tried to relax my eyes, look him straight in his face, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t.’

‘He sounds like a violent asshole! I’m not surprised. Why were you in love with him?’

‘No, you don’t understand. I crunched my teeth together until tears came down my cheeks … I wanted that feeling, I wanted that strangling … And it was like he finally heard me, like he was finally paying attention to me the way that I wanted. It was amazing, I swear, he started doing it. He was taking the rope from my stomach and winding at my ankles. He lifted my legs up and wrapped my thighs tight. He coiled my stomach with the rope and it burned. Then he yanked up my wrists and slapped my face.’

‘Holy fuck. Who raised this guy?’

‘He was the kind of guy who never said what he meant.’

‘But he’d hit you before, hadn’t he?’

‘No … No, he only did that once, the last time. Fuck, I don’t want to tell you any more.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you hate him. It’s clear. And I get it. But, I mean, you don’t know how I felt … ’

‘Why do girls like you always go for the guys who treat you like shit?’

‘I couldn’t help it.’

‘Because you were “in love” with him, right?’

‘Please. Stop.’

‘Why are you shaking?’

‘I didn’t tell you what he did with the pictures.’

‘Let me guess. He blackmailed you.’

‘Blindfolded.’

‘Brilliant!’

‘I started to hallucinate. It was like the space under my eyes got white. It was like being outside, like a river was rushing close by and I felt something squirming up against my back, as if I was lying in the gunk of the earth. The ropes were still burning my gut but I felt something cold and curling, like it was trying to get up under me. Like it wanted food. Like a million tiny snakes were moving toward my thighs. It got sharp there, underneath me, like their mouths were open, like all their tiny teeth were starting to bite me and it was all focused at my cunt. They wanted the skin and juice of me. I was arching my back, trying to shake the pain off my skin, but I was squeezing my thighs, squeezing inside, trying to not let them go in, but I kept getting wetter and wetter, they were slipping inside me, the million tiny snakes … I was going to come. I was on the verge of the biggest come of my life. ‘

‘And what happened?’

‘I heard stomping downstairs. It broke me. I mean, I couldn’t see. And there were people downstairs banging at my door! A bunch of them pounding up the flight of stairs, my front door was fucking open and I heard them running down my hallway and there I was, I was blindfolded, tied up, flat on the floor, squeezing my thighs – god, I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t help it!’

‘Hey, you’re okay now. You’ve already said the worst.’

‘No no no! I haven’t! He was laughing, they were all laughing at me like that. There were at least four guys in my room. I heard him coming over to me. He was whispering to the other ones, watching me there. I was cold everywhere, I wanted it to stop.’

‘Why didn’t you just say that?’

‘Because I was too in it. Can’t you see that I was in it?’

‘In what? I don’t fucking understand.’

‘The guy stroked my hair. I thought it was his fingers. I couldn’t see. He pressed into my cheeks, my lips, my whole face, and he said,I brought them back for you. Here she is.’

‘That’s creepy. Didn’t you think that was creepy?’

‘The men were breathing around me. I couldn’t help it. My body was leaking open through the spaces in the rope. I knew they were all looking at me. My pussy was growing between my crushed legs … Men’s breathing rushed at me, it was stuffy and sweaty, filling up the room. They were crouching around me, I could feel them coming in for me, and they started touching me, their heads and hands leaning in. They first started pinching my tits. They said, Look, she’s moving her hips! I knew that they were all going to do it to me. They kept pinching me and laughing, Look, she wants it. And I felt a cock press between my thighs. I knew it wasn’t his. And he told the rest of them, Hold her legs up in the air! I got stretched from underneath. It was like I had wings coming out from my pussy or something. My whole stomach started throbbing through the rope. I knew those men saw everything about me right then … ’

‘Wait. Wait. You really liked it?’

‘I felt like the one I loved, I mean, he was there too, he was directing it with all those others. I was opened for him. I didn’t know if he was turned on or turned off. I didn’t know if he liked me like that or hated me: tied, wet and eyeless, in front of those guys … I wanted to know how far it would go in front of him.’

‘Man … ’

‘They were holding my legs up in the air. Cocks poked underneath me, guys grunted, Look, she loves it, look at her go, her hips are so wild, look at her now! I was getting fucked and this cock dropped into my mouth and I sucked and they kept on, they kept on, pressing my ass and pressing my cunt and one of their bodies slid underneath me and one went on top and they both drove up me and I felt them inside me. I didn’t know which part was in and which part was out. I was the centre for all of them fucking. Over and over each time it felt better, each time it got worse. I knew this was it. Getting fucked by so many, being seen, being known … ’

‘You really liked it. That’s incredible.’

‘Yeah. And then, I mean, I was ready for it to stop. I remember how I opened more to try to stop it, and it felt like my heart was rushing too hard. My stomach started bubbling. I thought I was going to shit or piss. Something started filling the backs of my eyes, my ass was my cunt and my cunt was my ass. It was like I was tied to a stick in the ground. I was tied to a stick as they punched holes in this earth!’

‘God, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s okay. Look, I’m sorry. Let’s get up.’

‘No. You don’t get it. It just makes me see that sex is always like this!’

‘But you said you loved that guy!’

‘I did!’

‘Come on, don’t cry. Please.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Why did you stay there? Why didn’t you leave?’

‘Have you ever loved someone who didn’t love you back?’

‘No. I don’t know, maybe I have … ’

‘Talking about him makes me … ’

‘Look, let’s stop talking about it. Let’s get up. I should go now.’

‘It doesn’t matter who fucks me! You or him or all of them! I know that guys think they fuck me, but guys who think they fuck me think they know what they’re doing when they don’t, they really don’t! The morning beside them always stinks. It’s that stink of men in their sleep and all I want to do is get out of their bed.’

‘But … ’

‘I don’t want to see myself in the morning. Looking down between my legs. I know there’s stuff dripping out from me, even in the morning, my cunt is still wet. I don’t know why my cunt is still wet! I mean, I know what’s happened in the middle of the night, I know what happened with all those men. But my body awake, in the morning, it’s like it’s bloated from the feelings. I am heavy and wet and my body wants to fuck again. It’s never enough! It’s like my cunt has taken in all the thoughts I didn’t speak. It’s like it has drowned all my need in itself! Don’t you see what I am saying?’

‘No. No. I have to go … ’

‘The only thing I feel after sex is: this is how I have to fuck.’

‘I’ve got to go. I’ve really got to go now.’

‘No! No, you can’t go. Don’t go now! One more time. Please. Come on.’

‘I don’t know, after that story, I mean, I can’t.’

‘Please.’ Why do girls always say please?

The girl was licking her thumb. Both of us were sweating, a cold kind of sweat. She started rubbing her lips in circular motions on my cheek. Her saliva was burning. She was making my face wet like hers.

Then she wrapped her thighs around me. She took both my hands and put them on her breasts. Please, she moaned again, really sexy this time, like there was something in her throat. She was making me feel like I was being let out of a cage. My fingers were twisting her nipples, my mouth was on her neck. I felt how her hips were churning like a motor, it was making me hard. She was using her wet fingers to rub between her thighs.

Fuck me, she mouthed.

And then she pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. Her ass was toward my face. She looked like an animal. I saw her ass and pussy spreading. This blaze went ripping through my groin.

‘C’mon, fuck, fuck, please!’

Her voice was matching the jerks of her rear. I could see all those guys doing it to her. I didn’t want to be like them. I could see how she still wanted that shit that she loved. I wanted to fuck it out of her. That man was an abuser. An abusive fucking beast! I got up behind her. I was kneading her ass cheeks. She was moaning like something inside her was going to crack, she was moaning like she knew what I was thinking.