Читать книгу Scandalous Sins: Unwrapping His Convenient Fiancée / The Sheikh's Pregnant Prisoner / Snowbound with His Innocent Temptation - Кэтти Уильямс, Tara Pammi, Cathy Williams - Страница 12

CHAPTER FOUR

CAM DROVE VIOLET back to her flat half an hour later. He was still getting his head around what she’d told him earlier. He’d had trouble containing his rage at what had happened to her. The frustrated anger at the way she had been treated gnawed at him. He had the deepest respect for women and felt sickened to his gut that there were men out there who would act so unconscionably. For all these years since, Violet had lived with the shame of being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people. It saddened him to think she blamed herself. Still blamed herself. No wonder she had no dating life to speak of. Why would she want to fraternise with men if she didn’t know if she could trust them?

He didn’t trust himself around her. Not that he would ever do anything she didn’t want, but still. The attraction that had flared up between them was something he was doing his best to ignore. It was all very well pretending to be engaged for a couple of weeks. Kissing and holding hands and stuff was fine to add a little authenticity. More than fine. But taking it any further?

Not a good idea.

A dumb idea.

An idea that had unfortunately taken root in his brain and was winding its tentacles throughout his body like a rampant vine. He had only to look at Violet and those tentacles of lust coiled and tightened in his groin.

But how could he act on it? Even if it was what she wanted? It wouldn’t be fair to her to get her hopes up that he could offer her anything more than a casual relationship. He hated hurting people. If he broke Violet’s heart he would never forgive himself. Her family would never forgive him either.

Engaged via social media.

What a nightmare. How had he got himself into such a complicated mess?

Cam walked Violet to the door of her flat but when they got there it was slightly ajar. She stopped dead, cannoning back against his body standing just behind her. ‘Oh, no...’ Her voice came out as a shocked gasp.

Cam put his hands on her shoulders. ‘What’s wrong?’ And then he saw what she had seen. The lock had been jemmied open, the woodwork around it splintered. ‘Don’t touch anything,’ he said, moving her out of the way. ‘I’ll call the police.’

* * *

Within a few minutes the police arrived and investigated the scene. The police told Cam and Violet that several flats in the area had been targeted that night in the hunt for drugs and cash. Once they were allowed inside, Cam held Violet’s hand as she inspected the mess. And it was a mess. Clothes, shoes, books, kitchen items and even food thrown around and ground into the carpet as if the intruders were intent on causing as much mayhem as possible.

Cam could sense Violet’s distress even though she was putting on a brave face. Her bottom lip was quivering and her brown eyes were moving from one scattered item to the next as if wondering how on earth she would ever restore order to the place. He was wondering that himself. ‘I... I’ve got to call Amy and Stef,’ she said in a distracted tone, fumbling for her phone in her purse and almost dropping it when she found it.

Cam would have led her to the sofa to sit down but it had been slashed with a sharp object, presumably one of the kitchen knives the police had since bagged and taken away for fingerprinting. He shuddered at the thought of what might have happened if Violet had been alone inside the flat when the intruders broke in. Who knew what this new class of criminals were capable of these days? It didn’t bear thinking about. He picked up an overturned chair instead and set it down, making sure it was clean first. ‘Here, sweetie. Come and sit down and I’ll call the girls for you.’

Violet’s expression was a mixture of residual fear and gratitude. ‘Would you? I’m not sure I can think straight, let alone talk to anyone just now.’

Cam spoke to both of Violet’s flatmates, telling them what had happened and that everything was under control now as he was organising an emergency locksmith to repair the lock. ‘And don’t worry about Violet,’ he added. ‘I’m taking her back to my place.’

Of course he would have to take her home with him. There was no question about it. He couldn’t leave her in the trashed flat to lie awake all night in terror of being invaded again. Or worse. It was the right thing to do to take her home with him. What friend wouldn’t offer a bed for a night or two? He wasn’t one for sleepovers. He liked his space too much. But this was Violet. A friend from way back.

It was a pity his body wasn’t so clear on the friend factor, but still. His hormones would have to get control of themselves.

While the locksmith was working on the lock, one of Violet’s elderly neighbours shuffled along the corridor to speak to her. ‘Are you all right, Violet?’ the wizened old man said. ‘I didn’t hear a thing. The sleeping pills the doctor gave me knock me out for most of the night.’

Violet gave the old man a reassuring smile. ‘I’m fine, Mr Yates. I’m glad you weren’t disturbed. How’s your chest feeling? Is your bronchitis better?’

Cam thought it typical of Violet to be more concerned about her elderly neighbour than herself. The old man gave her a sheepish look. ‘The doc reckons I should give up smoking but at my age what other pleasures are there?’ He turned his rheumy gaze to Cam. ‘And who might you be, young man?’

‘I’m Violet’s—’

‘Friend,’ Violet said before Cam could finish his sentence.

Mr Yates’s bushy brows waggled. ‘Boyfriend?’

‘Fiancé, actually,’ Cam said with a ridiculous sense of pride he couldn’t account for or explain. He knew it was beneath him to be beating his chest in front of an elderly man like some sort of Tarzan figure but he couldn’t help it. Boyfriend sounded so...juvenile, and lover, well, that was even worse. Violet wasn’t the sort of girl to take a lover.

Mr Yates smiled a nicotine-stained smile. ‘Congratulations. You’ve got a keeper there in Violet. She’s the nicest of the girls who live here. Never could understand why she hasn’t been snapped up well before now. You’re a lucky man.’

‘I know.’

Once the locksmith had finished and Mr Yates had shuffled back to his flat, Cam led Violet back out to his car with a small collection of her belongings to see her through for a few days. Not that she could bring much as most of it had been thrown about the flat. The thought of putting on clothes that some stranger had touched would be horrifying for her. It was horrifying to him.

He glanced at her once they were on their way. She was sitting with a hunched posture, her fingers plucking at her evening bag, her face white and pinched. ‘How are you doing?’

‘I don’t know how to thank you...’ She gave a little hiccupping sound as if she was fighting back a sob. ‘You’ve been so amazing tonight. I really don’t know what I would’ve done without you.’

Cam reached for her hand and placed it on top of his thigh. ‘That’s what friends—or rather, fake fiancés—are for.’ His attempt at humour didn’t quite hit the mark. Her teeth sank into her lower lip so hard he was worried she would puncture the skin. She looked so tiny and vulnerable it made his chest sting. It made him think of how she must have been after that wretched party—alone, terrified, shocked, with no one she felt she could turn to. If only he had known. If only he had been there that night, he could have done something to protect her. Violet was the sort of girl who made him want to rush off for a white horse and a suit of armour. Her trust in him made him feel...conflicted, truth be told.

He wanted to protect her, sure, but he wanted her, period. Which was a whole lot of capital T trouble he could do without right now. Bringing her home with him was the right thing to do. Of course it was. Sure, he could have set her up in a hotel but he sensed she needed company. Her parents were too far away in Scotland to get to her in a hurry, so too were her brother and sisters, who lived in various parts of the country.

Cam was on knight duty so it was up to him to hold her hand.

As long as that’s all you hold.

* * *

Violet had held off tears only because Cam had done everything that needed to be done. He’d taken charge in a way that made her feel supported and safe. The horror of finding all her possessions strewn around the flat had been such a shock. She felt so violated. Someone—more than one someone, it seemed—had broken in and rifled through her and her roommates’ things. They had seen her photo with the girls at Stef’s last birthday celebration stuck on the kitchen door, which meant she might one day pass them in the street and they would know who she was but she would have no idea who they were. It was like being back on the university campus after that party. She didn’t know who the enemy was. They had touched her clothing, her underwear. Invaded her private sanctuary and now it was defiled, just as her body had been defiled all those years ago.

Cam kept glancing at her and gently squeezing and stroking her hand. It was enormously comforting. Violet could see the concern, and the anger he was doing his best to suppress on her behalf. Was he thinking of what might have happened if she’d been in that flat alone? She was thinking about it and it was terrifying. How fortunate that he had walked her to the door. But then, of course he would do that. It was the type of man he was. Strong, capable, with old-fashioned values that resonated with hers.

His offer to have her stay with him at his house was perfectly reasonable given their friendship and yet...she wondered if he was entirely comfortable with it. Would it make it harder for him to keep things platonic between them?

Once they were back at his house, Cam carried her small bag of belongings—those she could stomach enough to bring with her—to one of the spare bedrooms. But at least her embroidery basket had been left intact. She was halfway through making a baby blanket for Lily’s unborn baby and couldn’t bear the thought of anyone destroying that.

‘I’m only a door away over there.’ Cam pointed to the master bedroom on the other side of the wide hallway. ‘I’ll leave my door open in case you need me during the night.’

I need you now.

‘Thanks...for everything.’

He gave her one of those lopsided smiles of his that made her heart contract. ‘You’re welcome.’

Violet shifted her weight. ‘Do you mind if I have a hot drink? I’m not sure I’m going to be able to sleep. Maybe a hot milk or something will help.’

‘Of course.’

Violet followed him back down to the spacious kitchen and perched on one of the breakfast-bar stools while he went about preparing a hot chocolate for both of them. It was a strange feeling to be alone with him in his house, knowing she would be sleeping in one of his beds. Not his bed. He’d made that inordinately clear. But the possibility he could change his mind made her feel a thrill of excitement like someone had injected champagne bubbles into her bloodstream. She couldn’t stop looking at his hands, couldn’t stop imagining how they would feel touching her, stroking her. He had broad hands with long fingers with neat square nails. Capable hands. Careful hands. Hands that healed instead of hurt. Every time he touched her she felt her body glow with warmth. It was like she was coming out of cold storage. His touch awakened the sensuality that had been frozen by fear all those years ago.

He slid the hot chocolate towards her with a spoon and the sugar bowl. ‘There you go.’

Violet took a restorative sip and observed him while he stirred his chocolate. He still had a two-fold crease between his eyes as if his mind was still back at her flat thinking up a whole lot of nasty scenarios, similar to the ones she was trying her best not to think about. ‘I’ll only stay tonight,’ she said into the silence. ‘Once the girls and I tidy up, I’ll go back.’

His frown wasn’t letting up any. ‘Is that such a good idea? What if you get broken into again? The security there is crap. You don’t even have a security chain on the door. Your landlord should be ashamed of himself.’

‘It’s actually a woman.’

‘Same goes.’

Violet cradled her drink between her hands, looking at him over the rim of her cup when she took another sip. He had abandoned his drink as if his mind was too preoccupied. There were lines of tension running down either side of his mouth. ‘I know this must be awkward for you...having me here...’ she said. ‘You know, after our conversation earlier about...only kissing.’

His gaze went to her mouth as if he couldn’t help himself. ‘It’s not awkward.’ His voice came out so husky it sounded like it had been dragged along a rough surface.

‘I could go to a hotel or stay with a—’

‘No.’ The word was delivered with such implacability it made Violet blink. ‘You’ll stay here as long as you need to.’

How about for the rest of my life? Violet took another sip of her chocolate before setting the mug down. She had to stop this ridiculous habit of imagining a future with him. She was being a silly romantic fool, conjuring up a happy ending because she was almost thirty and Cam was the first man to treat her the way she’d always longed to be treated. It was her hormones...or something. ‘I guess it kind of makes sense, me being here, since we’re supposed to be engaged.’

‘Yes, well, there’s that, of course.’

Violet slipped off the stool and took her mug over to the sink, rinsing it first before putting it in the dishwasher. She turned and found Cam looking at her with a frowning expression. ‘I’m...erm...going to bed now,’ she said. ‘Thanks again for everything.’

He gave her a semblance of a smile that softened the frown a smidgen. ‘No problem. Hope you can get some sleep.’

Violet was about to turn for the door when, on an impulse she couldn’t explain let alone stop, she stepped up to where Cam was standing and, rising on tiptoe, pressed a soft kiss to his stubble-roughened cheek. His hands went to her hips as if he too couldn’t stop himself, drawing her that little bit closer so her body was flush against his. His eyes searched hers for a long moment before dipping to her mouth. ‘We really shouldn’t be doing this, Violet. It only makes things more—’

‘More what?’ Violet said, pressing herself closer, feeling the hardened ridge of him against her belly. ‘Exciting?’

His hands tightened on her hips but, instead of drawing her closer, he put her from him, dropping his hold as if her body was scorching hot. His frown was severe but she got the feeling it was directed more at himself than at her.

‘You’re upset after the break-in,’ he said. ‘Your emotions are shot to pieces. It would be wrong of me to take advantage of you when you’re feeling so vulnerable.’

Take advantage! Take advantage! Violet knew he was being the sensible and considerate man she knew him to be, but the fledging flirt in her felt hurt by his rejection. Why shouldn’t they have a fling? It was the perfect chance for her to let go of her past and explore her sensuality without shame, without fear, with a man she not only trusted but admired and cared about. Why couldn’t he see how much she needed him to help wipe away the past? ‘I’m sorry for misreading the signals. Of course you wouldn’t want to sleep with me. No one wants to sleep with me unless I’m coma-drunk. Why am I so hopeless at this?’

Cam took her by the shoulders this time, locking his gaze on hers. ‘You’re not hopeless at anything, sweetheart. You’re a beautiful and talented young woman who deserves to be happy. I’m trying for damage control here. If we take this further, it will blur the boundaries. For both of us.’

Violet planted her hands on his chest, feeling the thud-pitty-thud-pitty-thud of his heart beneath her palm. The battle was played out on his features: the push of pulsating desire and the pull away of his sense of duty. Push. Pull. Push. Pull. It was mirrored in the rhythm of a muscle flicking in his jaw. ‘But you want me...don’t you?’ she said.

He brought her up against his body, pelvis to pelvis, his eyes holding hers. ‘I want you, but—’

‘Let’s leave the “but” out of it,’ Violet said. ‘If I were anyone else, you’d have a fling with me, wouldn’t you?’

He let out a short breath. ‘You’re not a fling type of girl so—’

‘But what if I was? What if I wanted to have a fling with you because I’m so darn tired of being the girl without a date, the girl who hasn’t had proper consensual sex? I’m sick of being that girl, Cam. I’m turning thirty in January. I want to find the courage to embrace my sexuality and who better with than you? Someone I trust and feel safe with.’

It was clear she had created a dilemma for him. His expression was a picture of conflict. His hands tightened on the tops of her shoulders, as if torn between wanting to bring her closer and pushing her away. ‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he said. ‘That’s the last thing I want.’

‘How will you hurt me?’ Violet asked. ‘I’m not asking you to commit to anything permanent. I know that’s not what you want and I’m fine with that.’ Not exactly true, but still. ‘We can have a fling for as long as our pretend engagement lasts. It will make it appear more authentic.’

He cupped her face with the broad span of his hand while his thumb stroked back and forth on her cheek. ‘Looks like you’ve thought all of this through.’

‘I have and it’s what I want. It’s what you want too, isn’t it?’

His frown hadn’t gone away but was pulling his brow into deep vertical lines between his eyes. ‘What about your family?’

‘What about them?’ Violet said. ‘They already think we’re...together. Why shouldn’t we therefore actually be together?’

‘There’s something a little off with your logic but I’m not sure what it is.’

‘What’s logical about lust?’

His frown was back. ‘Is that all this is?’

‘Of course.’ Violet suspected she might have answered a little too quickly. ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you.’

His eyes did that back and forth thing that made her feel as if he was looking for the truth behind the screen of her gaze. ‘The thing is...good sex can make people fall in love with each other.’

Violet cocked her head. ‘So, I’m presuming you’ve had plenty of good sex. Have you ever fallen in love?’

‘No, but that doesn’t—’

‘Then what makes you think you will this time?’

He blinked as if he was confused about her line of argument. ‘I’m not worried about me falling in love, I’m worried about you.’

Violet raised her brows. ‘What makes you think you’ll be immune to falling in love?’

He opened and closed his mouth, seemingly lost for an answer. ‘Sex for me is a physical thing. I never allow my emotions to become involved.’

‘Sounds like heaps of fun, just getting it on with someone’s body without connecting with them on any other level.’

His brows snapped together and he dropped his hands from her hips. ‘Damn it. It’s not like that. At least I know their names and make sure they’ve given full and proper consent and are conscious.’

Violet wasn’t going to apologise for her straight talking. In her opinion he was short-changing himself if he stuck to relationships that were based on mutual lust and nothing else. What about sharing someone’s life with them? What about growing old together? What about being fully present in a relationship that made you grow as a person?

All the things she wished for but hadn’t so far been able to find.

‘You remind me of Fraser before he met Zoe. He was always saying he’d never fall in love. Look what happened to him. A chance meeting with Zoe and now he’s married with twins and he couldn’t be happier.’

Cam blew out a frustrated-sounding breath. ‘It’s different for your brother. He’s had the great example your parents have set. He’s had that since he was a baby—all of you have. I had a completely different example, one I wouldn’t wish on a partner and certainly not on any children.’

Violet studied his tense expression, his even more rigidly set body and the way his eyes glittered with bitterness. And the way he had put some distance between their bodies as if he didn’t trust himself not to reach for her. ‘What exactly happened between your parents that you’re so against marriage?’

It was a moment or two before he spoke. ‘They only got married because my mother got pregnant with me. They were pressured into it by both of their families, although to be fair my mother was in love with my father, but unfortunately he didn’t feel the same. It was a disaster from the word go. The earliest memories I have are of my parents fighting. They’re the only memories I have, really.’

‘But that doesn’t mean you’d conduct a relationship like that,’ Violet said. ‘You’re not that type of person.’

He gave a short laugh that had a note of cynicism to it. ‘Thanks for the character reference but it won’t be needed. I’m fine with how my life is now. I don’t have to check in with anyone. I’m free to do what I want, when I want, with whomever I want.’

‘As long as they’re not married to your richest client or are your best friend’s kid sister,’ Violet said with a pointed look.

He pressed his lips together as if checking a retort. ‘Violet...’

‘It’s fine.’ Violet turned away with an airy wave of one hand. ‘I get the message. You don’t want to complicate things by sleeping with me. I’m not going to beg. I’ll find someone else. After our engagement is over, of course.’

It was a great exit line.

And it would have been even better if she hadn’t stumbled over the rug on her way out.