Читать книгу Modern Romance June 2016 Books 5-8 - Мишель Смарт, Tara Pammi - Страница 23

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

‘BONJOUR, MADEMOISELLE.’

Josie was back in the kitchen as Anya passed by, but this time from the direction of Roman’s room.

It had been bliss to wake in his bed, even if Roman hadn’t been in it.

‘Bonjour, Josie,’ Anya called, and then remembered that Josie’s granddaughter had been sick and, in terrible French, enquired about her.

She was doing much better, as far as Anya could make out.

‘Bon!’ Anya smiled.

She headed to the balcony and Roman put his paper down. Neither had to enquire how the other had slept.

It had been bliss.

She poured a hot chocolate and ate some berries.

‘The cast list goes up at ten,’ Anya said.

‘You’ll be on it.’

‘I’m not so sure.’

The nerves were starting to come back, though that was to be expected given that tonight was opening night.

‘Do you want—?’ Roman started, but his question was interrupted by a loud scream from Josie and he jumped up and moved quickly to see what the problem was.

And then Anya saw Roman smile as a hysterical Josie spoke to him excitedly.

He turned and explained the problem to a bemused Anya. ‘Josie had seen me on the balcony and then opened the elevator...’

Daniil was walking in, with Libby beside him, holding little Nadia and laughing.

‘Roman mustn’t have mentioned that he had an identical twin,’ Libby said. ‘The doorman opened the elevator and we came straight up.’

‘I had the same thing happen at your place,’ Roman said, but Libby’s eyes had drifted to Anya, who sat in her robe and had obviously come from Roman’s bed.

‘Caught!’ Anya said.

‘We’d already guessed!’ Libby grinned. ‘Anya, we just had to come and see Roman after he called last night, and—I’m going to be terribly rude—is there any chance...?’

‘You want tickets for tonight?’ Anya smiled. ‘Of course. Sev and Naomi are flying in too and I have left tickets for Rachel at the box office. We should call Nikolai...’

‘He’ll be on his yacht in the middle of nowhere,’ Daniil said.

Roman wasn’t so sure. He looked at his brother, who had come all these miles just to speak with him face to face.

‘I understand now,’ Daniil said, and they embraced. ‘I’m sorry,’ Daniil admitted, ashamed at insisting that Roman speak in English.

‘No need,’ Roman said.

Anya didn’t want to go to work.

It was so wonderful to catch up, she wanted to sit and laugh and reminisce, but she really could not be late this morning.

‘Get ready,’ Roman said when he saw the time.

She went back to her pretty bedroom and put on her dance clothes and then a taupe linen wrap dress and flat shoes. She checked her bag and then went back out onto the balcony to say goodbye.

Libby smiled when she saw her. ‘Are you off?’

‘I have to rehearse and then check the cast list...’ She closed her eyes as she recalled how terrified she’d been yesterday.

How terrified she was now.

It seemed such a long time ago but now nerves were starting to flood back and they were fierce because she had friends coming to see her and it would be the ultimate let down and embarrassment if she was cut.

‘There’s a chance it won’t be me that you see perform as Firebird tonight,’ she admitted, and her cheeks went red as she did.

She glanced over at Roman but he just rolled his eyes as if she was mad to even think she was about to be cut.

Anya explained further to Libby. ‘I’ve had a difficult time at rehearsals and yesterday was terrible.’ Her jaw gritted as Roman gave an exaggerated yawn.

‘Well, if you want to catch up once the cast list is up, just say,’ Libby offered, because, though she hadn’t reached Anya’s heights, she knew all about being cut and knew that Anya might want to regroup well away from the theatre and even away from Roman and Daniil.

‘It might give these two a chance to catch up.’

Anya hesitated. She liked to be alone on the day of a performance but she recalled Roman’s words, that whatever she had been doing these past couple of weeks hadn’t been working.

Usually she would go back to her hotel room and take a nap, or rather pretend to relax and mentally prepare for tonight’s performance.

Maybe it was time to try something different.

‘Whatever happens, I finish at one,’ Anya said. ‘Perhaps we could meet and...’ She gave a small tense shrug. ‘I can’t do a big lunch on the day of a performance.’

‘Of course not,’ Libby said. ‘How about we look at the shops?’

It sounded like something to look forward to and Anya nodded.

She went to head out and there was Josie, still flustered at having Daniil arrive, and she was coming out of the gym with a broom.

The door didn’t close behind her and Anya glanced in.

It wasn’t a gym.

And even if he had never told her, Anya knew then that she was loved.

In her time away, mirrors had been put in and there was a barre where she could rehearse.

She wanted to go and thank him, but this morning was for Roman and his twin so she headed for the theatre.

* * *

Anya walked quickly and as she went through the square she forgot that this was where she had seen him kiss Celeste as the nerves danced and fluttered in her throat and chest.

She took her place at the barre and the morning was long.

For everyone.

All anyone wanted was the cast list to be put up.

And finally it was.

She tried to walk slowly and not show her fear.

‘Firebird, Tatania.’

Even seeing it written, she still could not quite believe she had made it. A part of her had thought, after two weeks of terrible rehearsals, that she might be dropped.

Mika was there, relieved to see that he was still Ivan the Prince after yesterday’s rehearsal disaster.

It really was a cutthroat world and things changed in an instant.

Perhaps that was why she loved it so much, Anya thought.

She watched as Mika walked off and if they were to dance well tonight then there was something that needed to be said.

‘Hey.’ She knocked on his dressing-room door and he called for her to enter.

‘Mika, I need you to make me look good, just as much as you need me. Don’t you ever speak like that to me again.’

She didn’t wait for his response; instead she went to try on her costume.

Her costume had been let out but as she tried it on she felt it pull at the bust, and the costume manager said nothing but her jaw gritted as she would be spending the afternoon letting it out a couple of millimetres more.

Anya left the theatre for a few precious hours. It was a hive of activity—costumes were being steamed and delivered to dressing-rooms, wigs were being prepared and, though she would usually go back to the hotel and rest, she smiled as she headed off to meet Libby.

‘Well!’ Libby said when she saw Anya’s smile. ‘I don’t need to ask!’

‘I am very relieved,’ Anya admitted. ‘I really wasn’t sure if I would be Firebird tonight. Things are tense back there and the costume manager is not speaking to me.’ Anya rolled her eyes. ‘I’ve put on a little weight.’

‘Well, you look amazing for it,’ Libby said. ‘I need to find a dress to wear tonight.’

And there was no place nicer to shop than Paris. Libby found something for the performance in a very dark shade of crimson that looked fabulous with her blond hair and Anya held Nadia while Libby went to try it on.

She wanted a baby.

Never had she fully admitted it to herself, but holding Nadia, so precious and tiny, Anya felt tears sting at the back of her eyes.

She stood up, refusing to give in to them. She knew that she would look mad sitting in the middle of a luxury boutique crying her eyes out.

Instead she examined the clothes and held up a dress that was nothing like she would ever choose normally. It was a halter-neck and the colours of a peacock’s tail in full display, and beside it were shoes that were a little high for Anya, but not too high.

‘What do you think?’ Libby asked as she came out of the dressing-room.

‘You look wonderful,’ Anya told her. ‘You certainly don’t look as if you’ve just had a baby.’

‘Well, ballet has helped with that...’ Libby started, but then changed topic in mid-sentence when she saw the dress that Anya was holding. ‘Anya, you have to try that on.’

‘I don’t like halter-necks...’ Anya said, but then she decided that she might as well see what it looked like on.

And with the shoes too.

She examined herself in the mirrors. The dress showed her back and every last inch of her slender arms but she liked it and she remembered Roman had told her to stop covering herself up.

And why did she?

Yes, she was very slim but she looked after her body and was proud of it.

‘Oh, Anya!’ Libby’s jaw dropped when Anya stepped out. ‘I’ve never seen you in anything other than grey or beige—you look amazing.’

‘Taupe,’ Anya corrected. ‘I don’t wear beige.’

But she did love the dress.

So much so that she decided to wear it home. It was summery outside and she felt summery on the inside today now that she was free from her anger about Celeste.

She wasn’t angry any more. If anything, she thought of Roman’s wife fondly, because Roman had never known a home till then.

As she and Libby walked through the square where Anya had seen Roman and Celeste kissing, she thought about a woman who’d had the courage to ask for what she’d wanted.

And the universe had sent her Roman!

Anya shocked Libby by suddenly laughing out loud.

‘I was just thinking of...’ she smiled as she said it now ‘...Roman and his wife.’

‘So,’ Libby asked, because she simply couldn’t resist, ‘how long have you and Roman been seeing each other?’

‘A few weeks...’ Anya said, and then Libby nudged her and Anya laughed again and told the truth.

‘He had my heart a very long time ago.’

There were two surprises waiting for them when they got back.

Sev and Naomi were out on the balcony and Rachel had arrived.

‘Rachel!’ Anya kissed her on the cheeks. ‘I was hoping to see you. I left your tickets at the box office—’ And then she broke off when she saw that Rachel was wearing a wedding ring.

Three surprises.

‘What’s this?’ Anya asked, and then frowned as yet another surprise arrived and she saw that Nikolai was here.

And wearing a wedding ring too.

‘You two!’ Anya said. ‘But I didn’t even know you were seeing each other.’

‘Well, you can talk,’ Rachel said.

‘But when did this happen?’

‘A couple of weeks ago.’ Rachel gleefully showed off her ring. ‘We’re going to be living in Belgravia and...’ she turned and smiled at Sev and Naomi ‘...we’re coming to see you in New York at the new year.’

‘I knew,’ Roman said.

‘How?’ Rachel frowned.

‘Nikolai did not want to speak of who he was dating and I saw Rachel sitting, waiting, on the dock when we got off his yacht.’

‘And you didn’t tell me?’ Anya said.

‘I don’t tell you everything, Anya.’ And he watched as her eyes narrowed at the tease—there were things she didn’t yet know.

It was a wonderful catch up of friends.

Yes, friends.

As they chatted about Nikolai and Rachel’s secret wedding, Anya watched Libby pass little Nadia to Daniil, who held his daughter both easily and tenderly.

She wanted this for Roman.

And it hurt to know that it was something she could not give him.

‘I have to go,’ she said at four.

It had been a lovely day but she needed to get into the right head space to perform as the firebird tonight.

‘Merde,’ Libby said.

‘Doesn’t merde mean shit in French?’ Sev asked.

Anya laughed. ‘It is a superstition that it would be bad luck to wish a dancer good luck before a performance.’

And then the nicest thing happened.

‘Oh,’ Rachel said, ‘before you go, Anya, I’ve got something for you.’

Anya took the present and opened it with a frown and then smiled as she took out a slender glass case. Inside it was a white feather.

‘It’s from both my wedding dress and my favourite costume...’

‘Which she stole,’ Libby said.

Anya opened the clasp and took out the feather.

‘It reminds me of you when you dance...’ Rachel said.

‘Thank you so much,’ Anya said. It really was a thoughtful gift. ‘I shall have it in my dressing-room.’

‘Here,’ Libby said, and there was another present, a little porcelain thing with long dangly legs that Anya recognised from the gym at Daniil’s. And, though she was sure it wasn’t the same one, she knew that this gift was something precious to Libby and Daniil and that too would sit on her dressing table.

Naomi stood then. ‘I had no idea how superstitious you lot were about opening night but we brought you these...’

It was a massive bag of peanut-butter cups and perhaps the sweetest of gifts. They had seen her sneaking food and had simply accepted her.

Anya hugged her.

Naomi didn’t know the dance world and gave a blink of surprise at the delight with which Anya received the gift.

‘I will keep the foil from tonight forever.’

‘Oh, she will,’ Roman said, and then he looked at Anya. ‘Do you want me to walk you to the theatre?’

‘Thank you.’

They didn’t speak much as they walked and Anya apologised for that. ‘I need to focus now on tonight.’’

‘Whatever suits you,’ he said. ‘And that dress does.’

Anya smiled. ‘It was nice, shopping with Libby.’

They walked through warm Paris streets and through the square and, yes, she had forgiven him for marrying Celeste.

Roman was right. She could not have had this career and their intensity back then. It had been too consuming and also Roman was right that they would have been as poor as mice and he would never have accepted being kept by her.

But there was another reason she was quiet.

Anya knew she could not dance well tonight with the weight of what she knew she had to reveal.

They were at the stage door and she remembered their first kiss long ago by a stage door back home and so did he.

‘You were right,’ she said.

‘I know,’ he replied, and then smiled. ‘About what?’

‘Roman, I am not a prodigy. I have seen dancers younger than me rise faster. I had to work and be selfish and absorbed to get here. I didn’t fail that audition because of you. I have not been chosen for many parts since that day. Two years ago, when I made Lilac Fairy, it was by chance. Some of the critics said I was a rather large Lilac Fairy and so I regrouped. When I understudied as Firebird, I was more selfish than ever. I trained harder, I put all I had into sculpting my body for the part in case the time came when I could perform it. When Daniil and Libby saw me that first night as Firebird, it was no accident that I performed well. I had waited for my moment and planned for it, but there were consequences to that choice.’

The perfectionist must now tell the person who mattered the most to her that, no, she was not perfect.

And it had to be now because she could not dance with the weight of it, not even for one more night.

‘I can’t have children, Roman.’

He looked deep into her eyes.

‘Because of my eating I have stopped menstruating. It is my own fault. I’m so sorry.’

‘Why are you saying sorry to me?’

‘Because I believe that you love me.’

Still he did not answer.

‘And,’ Anya said, ‘if you do then it affects you.’

‘Anya—’

‘No,’ she interrupted him. ‘I don’t want your knee-jerk reaction. I don’t want you to tell me it does not matter when we both know that it does. I know that one day you will resent me for it.’

‘No.’

‘Oh, but you shall. When I don’t eat or I practise too hard, you will remind me of the cost of that choice. I cannot bear the thought of you blaming me.’

‘Never.’

‘Please, don’t.’ She put up her hand to his face and she remembered the first time she’d done that and he had flinched but he did not now. Theirs was a very precious love and she would tell the truth. ‘You do care and so do I. You said yourself that Daniil has everything you ever wanted.’

‘I wasn’t talking about Nadia,’ Roman said. ‘I meant that he was happy that he had a family he adored. He still would have, even if it was just him and Libby. Anya, I admire how you have pushed yourself, how you have given up so much for nights like tonight. And I respect it too. It’s up to you whether or not you believe me.’

And she told him another truth. ‘Every time I dance, I dance for you.’

But then Roman, the man who had always had her heart, told her again that it was time for something to be different.

‘Anya, tonight go out there and dance for yourself.’

‘For me?’

‘Yes, for you. You have worked for this, you deserve the reward.’

He gave her a kiss, a long slow one that really ought to lead to the bedroom, but he let her go and then at the sound of footsteps Anya watched as his jaw tightened.

‘Privyet.’ Mika said hi as he walked past them.

It was time to go in.

‘I’ll be watching,’ Roman said.

It was nice to know.

Only as she headed in through the stage door did Anya realise she hadn’t told Roman that she and Mika weren’t and never had been an item.

Oh, poor Roman, having to watch them perform tonight, Anya thought, and then, for the second time that day, found herself laughing out loud.

‘Anya!’

There were calls of greeting and also a sense of relief because Anya had arrived, and she was usually here by now.

She waved back and went into her dressing-room, breathed and centred herself, had a shower and preparations began.

She took out her feather and the little pink thing with dangly legs and placed them on her dressing table.

And she took out a peanut-butter cup, which would be her treat and energy booster during the interval.

Her peacock-swirl dress had been hung up and she would wear it later tonight, Anya decided.

Then she thought of Roman and was starting to believe not just in his love but that they could make it.

She took out the little trinkets that told of their love and she knew more about him now.

The earrings were now a pair.

Every time she had danced it had been for him.

But Roman was right. Tonight she would dance for herself.

Her friends, good friends, were in the audience to support her and so too was the love of her life.

And he knew the truth now.

Now she could dance for herself, and claim for herself the reward for the hard work it had taken to get to this point.

She applied the finishing touches to her make-up and secured her headpiece.

The costume manager came in for one final check.

Anya looked at her reflection.

She was shaking with nerves as she made her way through the maze of corridors to the stage. She stood there, battling nausea, but today it would not abate and she called for a bucket.

No one was surprised. This was backstage after all and nerves were the motivator.

‘Better?’ Mika checked, after Anya had rinsed her mouth and the make-up lady had come and touched up her lipstick.

‘Better.’ Anya nodded and they shared a small smile.

Soon he would hold her, Mika thought longingly as he took up his bow and arrow and went onto the stage.

Anya took a few steps back to position herself for her leap onto the stage.

* * *

Roman sat as the performance started.

Out came Ivan the Prince into the enchanted garden.

And Roman waited.

They all did.

Friends who had been through so much waited for this moment and she did not let them down.

As she streaked onto the stage Roman knew the agony behind such gracious, beautiful movements and he respected it.

Just as she would have supported him had he been a boxer.

No, Anya might not have liked it but she would not have held him back and he would do the same for her now.

She was enchanting.

And if she could forgive him about Celeste, Roman thought, then he could sit through this because there was serious chemistry on stage.

Anya flirted, no, he corrected himself, Firebird flirted.

And Mika, no, no, Ivan the Prince courted and embraced her and traced her arms, her legs, her spine, with eyes that loved her.

How Mika loved her and as Anya turned she was perfection in his arms and he lifted her high with skilful hands that held her thigh.

Roman cricked his neck.

He was proud, so proud but also relieved when the interval arrived and drinks were very gratefully received.

‘I couldn’t have done it,’ Libby admitted as the women stood and chatted. ‘I’ve always been jealous and wondered whether, if I had pushed myself harder, I could have made it as far as Anya.’ She shook her head. ‘I couldn’t have. Anya is absolutely brilliant and Mika’s on fire tonight.’

‘He’s so hot,’ Rachel said.

‘He really is,’ Naomi agreed.

Daniil gestured with his head to Roman and they pulled slightly aside from the group.

‘Are you planning something for Anya?’

They were each other’s mirror. They might be a mirror that had broken many years ago but mirrors could break and still they reflected.

‘I have a ring,’ Roman said. ‘I actually had it made at the same time as Nadia’s cross. I was just waiting for the right time.’

It was the right time, he was sure.

And it was the right time to be back in his brother’s life.

They were back. Roman had never been confirmed the elder, but that was their natural order and he could not have stood to have Daniil looking out for him.

Or Anya.

‘Show me.’

‘No,’ Roman said. ‘Because then they’ll all come over.’

They went outside and stood beneath the Firebird sign and lights, and Roman took the box out of his pocket. Daniil looked at the red stone.

‘When I went to have Nadia’s cross made I saw this stone. It was pale green then.’

Daniil thought of Anya, all those years ago, peering at him as his cheek was repaired.

Anya had belonged to his brother even then.

It was not pale green now.

It was a deep red.

The stone was Alexandrite.

Discovered in Russia, it was the most elusive and exquisite of stones. It changed colour and was known as Emerald by Day, Ruby by Night.

As was Anya—ice by day, Firebird tonight.

‘Are you nervous about asking her?’ Daniil asked.

‘Nyet.’ Roman shook his head.

‘Liar...’

‘I’m not.’

He wasn’t.

They headed back inside and Daniil turned and saw Roman bend his head to the side a couple of times as they took the seat.

‘You are nervous,’ Daniil insisted.

‘Not about that. I can’t stand Mika...’ Roman admitted. ‘I thought they were just pretty boys in tights.’

Daniil grinned as he realised the cause of his brother’s tension as they waited for the second act to start.

* * *

Anya was tense too.

She had to be to perform.

She bit into the chocolate treat and sucked in air, and then rolled the foil into a tiny ball.

She was worried about the cleaners throwing it away so it went into the tiny glass case with the feather.

She took a small drink and then touched up her lipstick and headed out.

The orchestra teased and Anya closed her eyes and waited for her time to go on.

The second act was somehow even more amazing. Anya gave it everything that she had.

As she danced she wondered if it were possible to live a dancer’s life with Roman by her side. As Ivan lifted her she felt as if she was touching the sky—perhaps she could have it all.

As the egg cracked open Anya felt as if her heart had opened too.

And now she understood why she should dance for herself.

Roman hadn’t been working his way back to her, he had worked his way to a better self.

And finally he was here.

* * *

The applause was deafening.

And she smiled as she heard him call out to her, ‘Bravo, beautiful woman!’

Her eyes searched for him in the darkness but it was then that everything went black. She stood there, momentarily blinded, and closed her eyes.

Then she opened them again, but everything was still black and Anya realised that she was about to faint.

Ivan the prince caught her.

But Roman could only see that Mika swept her into his arms.

The crowd gasped as Tatania dramatically collapsed and was carried from the stage.

The curtain hurriedly came down and a few moments later an announcement was made that Tatania was fine and had suffered a simple faint after giving her all for the audience.

Roman was already backstage by the time the announcement was made and it was more than a simple faint because she lay pale and retching.

The medics were not taking a chance with their star and an ambulance had already been called.

Mika was holding her head and fanning her face and Roman wanted to rip his stupid feather cap off, but he just knelt down and checked for himself how she was.

‘I just need to go home and rest,’ Anya said.

His was home.

She had fainted after a performance before but tonight she was bundled into an ambulance with an oxygen mask over her face and there was a teeny stand-off between Mika and Roman about who went with her.

‘I’ve got this,’ Roman said, and climbed into the back.

Had he, though? Anya thought.

Surely now he would chastise her—would tell her that she needed to take better care of herself, that it had to stop.

‘It’s okay, baby,’ he said, and he took her hand.

They were wheeled into the emergency department and the staff were excited that she had arrived. There were oohs and ahhs over her beautiful costume as Roman dealt with it. He removed her shoes, ballet tights, bandages and make-up, and not once did he tell her off.

The senior doctor came in and they ran some tests and Roman translated.

‘What is he saying?’ Anya asked.

‘They are concerned about the wild chanterelles that you ate last night.’

‘You poisoned me,’ Anya accused.

‘As I pointed out to the doctor, I ate ten times the amount you did and I am fine.’

‘Well, you couldn’t even catch flu if you tried,’ Anya said as the doctor left, ‘whereas I have a delicate constitution.’

And Roman smiled.

For that was them.

They knew their dance.

Roman’s phone rang and it was Daniil. He said they were all on their way to the hospital and asked how Anya was.

‘She will be okay,’ Roman said. ‘Hold on for a moment...’ He went out and asked the doctor if Anya could have hot chocolate and the doctor agreed.

He told his twin of the best café in Paris for hot chocolate and asked him to stop and fetch some for Anya on his way.

Then he went back in to her. ‘You look better.’

Roman took down the side of the gurney and she made room with her legs for him to sit on the edge, and still he was not cross.

‘There is some colour coming back to your face,’ he said.

Panic had hit him as he’d raced backstage, but there in the midst of the pandemonium he’d been glad that he’d been beside her, because with or without him this would still have happened.

She would never have to deal with anything alone again, and for so long she had.

The weight of her mother’s expectations, the pressure, the demands of her profession, and he wondered about his decision to leave.

He was still sure that he had been right to do so.

But she no longer had to face the world alone.

And when she was at her very worst he made it her best.

‘I’ve spoiled everything,’ Anya said. ‘We were all going to go out...’

‘We might still,’ Roman said, ‘just without you.’

And his small smile told her he was joking.

‘Or we might just have a little after party here.’

‘Some party.’ Anya took in a breath. ‘I honestly don’t know what happened, I felt fine when I was dancing...’

‘You were amazing.’

‘I think maybe it was just the stress of rehearsals, or maybe...’

And she closed her eyes because she would not change a part of yesterday. It hadn’t been the conversation or staying up late or making love that had caused this. She had been tense and teary all week, and yesterday had actually helped things.

‘Well, I can’t wait any longer,’ Roman said.

‘Sorry?’ Anya frowned.

‘I’ve waited for many years to say this, and I don’t want to wait another night.’

He went into his pocket and took out a jewellery box and a faded envelope.

She went for the envelope first and inside it was a letter. She let out several small cries as she read it.

Dearest Anya,

I never wanted to be a burden to you. I know I never said it but I love you.

I have loved you all my life and I still love you in death.

Roman

There were no hearts or kisses, for that was not Roman’s way.

‘You were never a burden.’ And then she found out he would have looked after her even in death.

‘I made my will out to leave everything to you. Had I died, Dario or one of my comrades would have seen you got this letter and, if possible, the earring that I carried with me wherever I went.’

And she looked at him as she found out not just that he loved her but that he knew the depth of their love.

‘You were by my heart when I jumped out of planes, and you were there with me through war, and when I thought I might die you were with me too.’

He would not have died without her knowing, and that meant more than the world to Anya. She had not been left behind.

‘Why didn’t you tell me this last night?’

‘Last night was to clear the air.’

‘And what about at the stage door?’ Anya said. ‘You should have told me then before I went on.’

‘You did not require my love to dance as you did,’ Roman said. ‘You did that by yourself, for yourself...’

And she understood him some more.

With the drip in the back of her hand and her fingers suddenly shaking, it was Roman who opened the box.

‘It’s time for us to make it official, Anya. You are my family, always.

‘Tomorrow, in sunlight, the stone will be the colour of your eyes. Tonight it is the colour of fire.’

He did not ask her to marry him.

He did not need to ask, he just slid the ring onto her finger and kissed it.

‘All the years we wasted,’ Anya said with a sob in her voice.

‘No. These haven’t been wasted years...’

They hadn’t been, she realised.

Roman was so proud and so determined in all that he did and he had made his way back to her, and to his twin, only when he had been ready. He had returned proud to reclaim the life he’d had to leave behind.

‘What about babies?’

‘Anya, I love you. If that’s what you want, we can look at other ways.’

‘What do you want?’

He had never considered that he might become a father until he had held Nadia.

Then he’d looked at Anya and had never really considered her a mother.

Until now.

Others thought Anya icy, yet he knew her passion and love.

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Maybe, one day, we could look at adoption. We could go back to Russia...’ His voice came the closest it ever had to breaking, because he had never thought he might go back, and certainly never to an orphanage. ‘We can work it out.’

They could now.

A nurse popped her head around the curtain and it would seem they had visitors.

‘I can tell them to wait,’ Roman said. ‘Or to go home.’

‘I’d like to see them,’ Anya said.

She wanted to show them her ring!

And they all spilled in, the men in suits and beautiful, especially Daniil because he was carrying a tray of hot chocolate, and the women were dressed for an evening at the ballet and looked stunning too.

And she could have felt drab, given that she was wearing a hospital gown, but she felt the most beautiful woman in the world as she showed them her ring.

She watched as the twins shook hands and the other men offered congratulations and the women squealed.

‘You must come to New York for new year, all of you,’ Sev said, and this time Roman didn’t roll his eyes.

And Anya would go too. She would because they accepted her. There was no punishment or silent judgment of her predicament tonight.

They seemed to love her as she was.

Their engagement was toasted in hot chocolate that Daniil had bought for everyone.

It was the best after party Anya had ever known.

The medic came back with some equipment and asked everyone to wait outside, but Roman remained.

‘He can stay,’ Anya said.

The doctor’s Russian and English was about as good as Anya’s French and so he spoke through Roman.

‘He asks how long you have been feeling dizzy,’ Roman said.

‘Since I ate the mushrooms,’ Anya said, and then smiled. ‘Just when I came off the stage. I felt sick before but I always do...’ She thought of all the work that had gone into the production and all the people who would be disappointed if she couldn’t perform. ‘Tell him that I have to perform. There are two more nights and a matinée...’

‘Let’s just find out how you are,’ Roman said. ‘He’s asking when you last had a period.’

She lay back on the pillow and decided that perhaps a translator might have been a better idea because she was about to be told off, and in front of Roman.

‘A year...’ Anya said, and then gave a small shake of her head as she tried to think. ‘Maybe closer to eighteen months. And you can tell the doctor that I don’t need a lecture,’ she snapped.

Translation was awful. She didn’t understand why Roman took twice as long to say her brief words and why he asked questions as the doctor spoke, without translating for her.

She understood why Roman had needed that time to learn English.

It was very disempowering.

‘Could you tell me what he’s saying?’ Anya interrupted Roman in mid-question.

‘He says that your electrolytes are fantastic, your iron levels are good, you are supremely fit but that maybe a small lecture might be in order.’

Roman spoke to the doctor again, telling him that Anya did push herself but her diet had been better of late and that no one could do what she did day after day, night after night without being incredibly fit.

And Anya lay there rolling her eyes. It was her consultation and she had not a clue what was being said.

Then she looked at Roman, who had gone very quiet and the hand over hers had tightened.

‘What did he say?’ Anya asked, and as Roman turned to look at her his face had gone pale and she had the sudden feeling that something was terribly wrong.

‘Am I dying?’

‘No, Anya.’ He started to smile at her drama, but instead he cleared his throat before speaking. ‘He said, while he appreciates how fit you are, you are going to need to watch your nutrition for the duration of the pregnancy...’

And the world again seemed to shift, just as it had when she had been on the stage, but it did not go dark. It was as if stars had come out in the sky.

‘I can’t be pregnant. I haven’t...’

What was the point of trying to speak? Roman was asking the doctor questions for her and then answering them as if he knew exactly what she would have asked.

He did.

‘You must have ovulated and, instead of getting a period, you fell pregnant,’ Roman said. ‘He wants to do an ultrasound...’

A nurse rearranged the sheet and Anya lay there with her head spinning and wondering if she dared hope, because even a positive pregnancy test might be wrong.

Except it wasn’t.

And they looked at the tiny black circle on the screen and it was her baby and there was a flicker, the beating of a tiny heart.

‘He says it is in a nice position,’ Roman said, and then he listened as the doctor spoke and was silent for a moment.

‘What did he just say?’ Anya asked.

‘That you are six weeks pregnant and that in a few weeks’ time you shall have a more detailed ultrasound, but for now all is fine.’

‘I can’t be six weeks,’ Anya said.

‘Anya.’ He looked at her. ‘It’s fine, don’t get upset. I know you never expected me to reappear.’

He turned to the doctor and asked a question.

‘He said that explains your nausea and dizziness. You can still dance and rehearse...’

But that was not her concern right now.

‘Roman,’ Anya said, ‘tell him that I cannot be six weeks pregnant. You only came back four weeks ago.’

Roman spoke with the doctor again.

‘He says that conception would have been four weeks ago. On a usual cycle, it is calculated from the date of your last period.’

Anya lay back stunned and silent and nodded her thanks as the doctor and nurse left them alone.

‘He says you can dance tomorrow night and in the future. You are an athlete...’ Then he smiled. ‘A pregnant firebird, though?’

‘Maybe not for long,’ Anya said, and she looked at the ring that belonged on her finger and she told him the truth. ‘There’s been no one since you.’

‘Anya, I know about you and Mika...’

She remembered him gritting his jaw at the stage entrance and the hell it must have been for him, watching them dance while thinking that she and Mika were an item, and she knew now just how much Roman loved her.

‘No,’ Anya said. ‘That is just a rumour. I mean it. When I couldn’t have you, I gave all I had to my dance.’

And soon they would let the world in. He would tell his twin that he was going to be a father and men who had come so far would congratulate him on the wonderful news, but for now he spoke with the love of his life.

‘I will spend the rest of my life making up for the lost years,’ Roman said.

‘Not lost,’ Anya told him. ‘Found.’