Читать книгу Always The One - Tara Randel - Страница 12

“I DON’T LIKE the looks of this,” Derrick Matthews said to his three brothers as they huddled around the beach bonfire, waiting for their mother’s news. He hunched deeper into the fleece jacket worn over a T-shirt and jeans as a brisk wind whipped over the water. As the sun sank into the horizon, a damp chill settled in. The stacked logs snapped and crackled, pieces of ash rising in the air before being swept away.

“She’s been cagey, even more than usual,” Dante replied as he eyed the crowd. “Which is saying a lot.”

“You don’t think…” Dylan trailed off at the nods sent in his direction.

“Oh, yeah,” Derrick confirmed. “They’re going to make it official.”

He and his brothers stared into the burning flames. Their mother was going to marry a man with a sketchy past and if they valued their relationship with her, there wasn’t a thing they could do about it.

“It’s not like we didn’t expect this,” Deke reasoned.

Derrick leaned back in the beach chair, his gaze traveling to his mother, Jasmine, who was currently surrounded by a circle of friends. “Still, this is Mom we’re talking about.”

He couldn’t deny she looked happy. Happier than he’d ever seen her in the years since their father had died. Shouldn’t that count for something?

As the conversation faded, Deke and Dante, his two youngest brothers, rose and wandered over to their girlfriends. Derrick watched, the envy he’d tried to ignore all weekend making a repeat appearance. He was happy for his brothers, too, wasn’t he?

“You okay with Mom doing this?” he asked Dylan, the second brother in the Matthews line. All the brothers were dark-haired, with varied shades of blue eyes, concerned about the woman who had raised them.

“Not particularly, but it’s what she wants.”

“And you’re tired of arguing with her?” Derrick asked, amused by his brother’s failed attempt to rein in their mother.

“She’s stubborn,” Dylan muttered.

“I tried to talk to her, but she ended up lecturing me, so I gave up.”

“She lectured you?”

“What can I say? I was deep into a case and she caught me off guard.”

“Like she manages to do with all of us,” Dylan said.

“You know you could investigate. We threatened Stanhope we’d do it.”

Dylan looked at Derrick like he’d lost his mind. “Not if I prize my future.”

Derrick chuckled. “Exactly.”

“So I’ll let it go. For tonight.”

The Cypress Pointe crowd had gathered for the special occasion, which was all the insight their mother would allow. Neighbors, townsfolk, kids and teens swarmed the beach located not far from the city park. The sand ran up to the grassy area, which then led to sidewalks, picnic benches and a large gazebo used for town, or private, events. Everyone brought a dish to share. There were drinks galore, plenty of riveting conversation and the occasional firecracker set off farther up the beach. It reminded Derrick of his youth, even if he hadn’t grown up in this particular Florida location, but the antics were still the same.

“So when’s your big day?” Derrick asked, referring to Dylan’s upcoming wedding.

“This summer.”

“You’re going to brave the Florida heat?”

“It’s what Kady wants.”

Right. Dylan’s fiancée. The first of the brothers to make it to the altar.

Dylan and Kady had met during a DEA investigation in this sleepy little tourist town. Since then, Jasmine Matthews had moved to Cypress Pointe to be near one of her sons because the rest were scattered. What they hadn’t expected was for her to fall for a man and remarry.

Derrick and his brothers were law enforcement, following in their police commissioner father’s footsteps, or had been, anyway. Dylan had met Kady during an undercover stint in town, but was still on the job. Former criminal forensics, Deke had gone off to the Georgia mountains to get a line on the man in their mother’s life and had fallen in love with Grace. He now worked as an outdoor guide for her family’s adventure vacation business. And Dante, the youngest, had left his position as a detective with a local PD. His girlfriend, Eloise, had been promoted to sergeant, but Dante had decided to open a specialty mechanic shop to work on classic cars, located on the other coast of Florida.

They were happy with their decisions, in love and bugging the socks off him.

“Good luck with that,” Derrick grumbled.

“Don’t need luck. Just two words that’ll make me happy.”

I do. Yeah, he got it.

“You’re still my best man?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Even though he’d like to. He didn’t need a reminder of the love he’d once had and lost, but he wouldn’t tell Dylan no. They were close, all the brothers were, and Derrick would do his part, even if it about killed him.

He must have frowned because Dylan said, “It’s been a long time.”

Like he’d ever forget. “Feels like a hundred years.”

“Think it’s time to move on?”

He barked out a harsh laugh. “Move on to what?”

“Happiness.”

Derrick didn’t hide his annoyance. “Happiness is overrated.”

“Says the guy who won’t give any nice woman he dates a chance.”

Okay, that was true. He’d been accused of being a serial dater albeit it wasn’t the case. He purposely let his brothers believe he was out enjoying the wild, single life when he was still hung up on Hannah. It was better for them to think he couldn’t commit, instead of witnessing their pity if they knew otherwise.

“I don’t need your opinion on how to live my life.”

Dylan raised a dark eyebrow. “Aren’t you the first one to stick your nose in our business? You made sure to give me unsolicited advice when Kady and I started dating. And if I remember correctly, you managed to butt into Deke’s and Dante’s love lives, as well.”

“I’m the oldest brother. It’s my job to put in my two cents.”

“Even when it’s unsolicited?”

Derrick lifted a shoulder. “Blame it on the cop in me.”

“More like you want to be in control.”

“Can’t help myself. I’ve got Mom’s genes.”

Dylan snorted. “On that we can agree.”

Derrick dug the toes of his boots into the sifting sand. Said in a quiet voice, “I was the first one to fall in love. The first one to talk about getting married. Now look at me. I work too much, don’t ever commit, as you endlessly remind me, and have to put a smile on my face to make our mother happy.”

“Don’t beat yourself up. You tried to find her.”

“A lot of good that did.”

“You can’t blame yourself.”

Derrick shot him a sharp look. “Really? Who else?”

Dylan wisely kept his mouth shut.

“She’s out there, Dyl. Somewhere, she’s out there.”

Hannah Rawlings had been his first love. His only love. The one who got away.

He glanced at his brother. “I was sure I had a good lead two years ago.”

Dylan sighed. “You’ve searched for years. Never made any headway. Let her go. Give yourself a chance to grieve and then start embracing life. Get serious with a woman.”

It wasn’t like the idea had never occurred to Derrick. There had been a woman once, but in the end, the memory of Hannah had overshadowed the budding relationship. Still, he’d ignored the idea of moving on. Until now.

Recently he’d been rethinking his goals. Wondered what they’d look like without Hannah at the forefront. There was more to life and he was missing out by searching for a woman who didn’t want to be found.

“For once I’m inclined to go along with that.”

Astonishment flashed across Dylan’s face but was quickly gone. “Wise choice.”

Was it? He closed his eyes. Shouts of laughter and conversation surrounded him. He’d come to Cypress Pointe this weekend at Jasmine’s summons—yes, he still jumped when his mother called—as did all his siblings. But this time was different. His mother was about to announce her engagement to a man he and his brothers had suspected of harboring a secret past. Turned out they’d been right, he had a shady history, mistakes he’d made after losing his wife and his way, errors he was currently atoning for by paying back the families he’d swindled more than a decade ago. Nevertheless, there could be more to him than they’d uncovered and even though Dylan still talked about investigating, Derrick had convinced him to drop it. The kicker? Derrick kinda liked James Stanhope. He too was intimately acquainted with regrets of the past. Sometimes it was okay to let it go.

Could he do that with Hannah?

A woman’s bubbly laughter floated his way and memories bombarded him.

Bicycling to the beach under a blazing summer sun. Hannah’s riotous auburn curls shining, her hazel eyes filled with teasing merriment. They’d exchanged class rings junior year and she’d been excited to wear the necklace that held his ring around her neck. Every year they’d celebrated their birthdays on the same day. He’d always said she was the best birthday present he’d ever received.

They’d started hanging out when they were eight or nine, became an item at thirteen and planned to run off and get married the day after their eighteenth birthdays. Except when he showed up that special morning to whisk her away, she was gone. Her entire family vanishing into thin air.

If Hannah could, or wanted to, wouldn’t she have contacted him by now?

That was the part that tripped Derrick up, because bottom line, the real reason he’d never found her might be because she didn’t want to be found by him.

“What’s changed?” Dylan asked, drawing Derrick back to the conversation.

“I guess seeing my brothers have fulfilling lives. Even Mom. After years of being a widow, she found love again.” He turned to his brother. “I want that.”

“Then go for it.”

Easier said than done. He’d only ever loved one woman in his thirty-five years on earth. Didn’t know if he had it in him to try with another.

As if given a silent cue, the crowd started moving toward the gingerbread-decorated gazebo outlined in twinkling lights located just off the beach. Derrick and Dylan got up and followed the others. His mother and James stood in the center of the structure, his arm around her waist, his mother smiling into James’s eyes. Yep. Didn’t have to be a crack FBI special agent to realize it was time for the big announcement.

Rather than hang around his brothers and their girlfriends, he lingered in the back of the crowd, staying in the shadows. The wind whipped through again. It was a cold January evening, even for Florida standards. They’d gotten together to usher in the new year, but when their mother asked them to stay a few extra days, they knew Jasmine Matthews was up to something.

“Thank you for coming tonight, all our family and friends.” Jasmine’s eyes glowed with a barely contained joy. As Derrick glanced at the couples around him, he noticed a similar theme.

The envy kicked up again.

“As you know, James and I were lucky to find each other. And we’ve been even more fortunate to have your support.”

A snort escaped Derrick.

When he and his brothers had confronted James last autumn, they’d gotten two big surprises. One, James admitted his past as a con artist but confessed he’d been on the straight and narrow for a very long time. His mother ordered Derrick and his brothers to back off and they had. He kept waiting for one of his brothers to come up with a plan to break up the couple, but so far nothing had come to pass. At least nothing they were telling him since he’d landed on Team James.

And second, they were going to gain a sister. James’ daughter Serena had become good friends with his mother. Which was a plus because that helped keep Jasmine from worrying about his private life. So if Mom and James got married, there would be one more sibling in the family. And even Serena had found her great love with Logan Masterson, the PI hired to dig up information on Stanhope.

It was like the universe was conspiring against him.

Weird, the thought of having a sister after a lifetime of brothers. But again, his mother was ecstatic and Serena was pretty okay, so he’d show up at his mother’s wedding and smile, even though he and his brothers would never shake their suspicions of the man she intended to marry.

“I’m sure it won’t come as a news flash that we’re getting hitched,” she told the crowd.

Cheers and claps echoed in the night.

“So, mark your calendars for the second weekend in February.” She grinned. “The sooner the better.”

Voices rose in celebration. His mother’s gaze caught his and with a small lift of her chin, she motioned him over. He skirted the outer rim of the crowd to find his brothers already behind the gazebo with their mother.

“I have a request,” she said as the four circled her. Derrick could have sworn he heard Dante groan.

She looked each of the grown men in the eyes. “I love you boys too much to decide who will give me away at my wedding. So I’ll leave the decision up to you.”

“Are you sure?” Derrick asked.

She cupped his cheek with her warm hand. “I’m sure.”

After winking at him, she strolled away.

Reaching into the front pocket of his jeans, Derrick withdrew a worn coin. He ran his thumb over the warm metal, the raised edges smooth after years of being handled.

“Okay, guys. What do you say we decide who gives Mom away in the Matthews’ family tradition?”

Dante rolled his eyes. “I hate this tradition.”

“Poor loser?” Derrick asked.

“No, so far I’ve been fortunate, but the anticipation is agony.”

Dylan slapped Derrick on the back. “What do you say we let those two go first.”

“Works for me.”

“Heads,” Dante called.

Deke shrugged.

With a flip of his thumb, the coin sailed into the air then landed in Derrick’s palm. He looked at it for a long time, stretching out the suspense, a grin curving his lips.

“Oh, for the love of…” Dante griped.

“No worries, little bro. Heads.”

Dante blew out a breath and turned on his heel.

“Escaping so soon?” Deke called after him.

“I’m going back to Eloise where it’s safe.”

Deke turned back to the bearer of the coin. “Heads.”

“You sure?” Derrick asked.

“Let’s keep the good luck rolling.”

Once again, Derrick made a show of letting the coin twist in the air. The wind picked it up, but after it came down, he winked at his brother. “Safe.”

“Good,” Deke replied, then narrowed his eyes. “By the way, I’m onto you.”

Derrick’s hand flew to his chest, and he projected an air of innocence. “Me?”

Shaking his head, Deke walked away but not before Derrick glimpsed a small smile.

“That just leaves us,” Derrick said to Dylan.

“Why bother? The coin is double-sided.”

“How do you know? You’ve never seen it.”

Dylan sent him a really? glance. “My point, exactly. You wield that coin to do your bidding.”

“Harsh.”

“The truth.”

“Then let me buck the system and call tails,” Derrick said.

“Magnanimous of you.”

With a chuckle, Derrick sent the coin into the air. It hovered. Dropped. Derrick eyed the metal and said, “Guess I had to lose some time.”

“Let me see,” Dylan said, reaching for the coin. Derrick snatched his hand away.

“Nope. Doesn’t work that way.”

“So you really lost?”

“You doubt me?”

“You’ve been known to cheat.”

Once again, Derrick went for hurt. “I’m wounded.”

Dylan crossed his arms over his chest. “Yet you haven’t confessed.”

Derrick shrugged.

“Fine. You win.” Dylan took a few steps back, then turned to leave. A couple of minutes later Jasmine reappeared.

“How did it turn out?”

“We decided I’d have the honor of walking you down the aisle.” He puffed out his chest. “I am the oldest, after all.”

“And this decision didn’t have anything to do with you manipulating the coin toss?”

His eyes went wide. “How…”

“You boys think you’re a step ahead of me.” She rolled her eyes. “That will be the day.”

Barking out a laugh, Derrick hugged the woman who had loved him since birth, the woman he’d be pleased to give away in marriage.

She pulled back, her eyes bright as she searched his face. “You’re okay with this?”

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” he said.

“With the upcoming weddings and happily-ever-afters, I don’t want you to feel left out.”

His chest squeezed tight. He knew his mother was referring to Hannah. “I’m okay, Mom.”

She tilted her head. “Really?”

“Yes,” he lied.

While she continued to read him, he led her in the direction of the beach. “Yes, I’ve always been in love with her. And yes, I’ll continue to love her. But by her silence, Hannah’s made it clear she doesn’t feel the same way. I’ve tried to find her. Failed.” He ran a shaky hand over his closely cropped hair. “Maybe Dylan is right. It’s time to move on.”

A bright sheen brightened his mother’s eyes in the bonfire light. “I know how much this hurts.”

It did. Every day. But it didn’t change reality.

He swallowed hard. Forced himself to believe the words he was about to say. “I’m ready. Probably should have been years ago.”

“You never gave up hope.”

“Sometimes hope isn’t enough.”

At those words, his mother tightly hugged him. Then she stepped back and wiped her cheeks. “I’m happy about your decision. And that you’ll be here for the wedding.”

“I have vacation time coming. And believe it or not, I’m happy you found James.” He lifted his chin in the direction of her fiancé. “Go enjoy your night.”

“You promise you’ll be okay?”

“Promise.”

She frowned. “I worry about you. You talk a good game…”

“Go.”

At his directive, she made her way back to James, the smile from earlier returning to her lips.

He glanced around the crowd, catching glimpses of his brothers and their girlfriends. He was the odd man out here. He’d head back to DC early, get some paperwork done and take off on his unwelcome vacation. It was going to be a long six weeks, but what choice did he have? Sit around his apartment and mope? The idea of a solo trip didn’t appeal, but he realized that maybe he was better off alone in the long run. In life.

On that sobering thought, Derrick made his way to the water’s edge to escape the pervading good cheer. The surf rolled in at a steady pace as he approached. The scent of burning wood and wet sand should have relaxed him, but as he stared out over the dark horizon, his mind traveled elsewhere.

Usually he kept himself so busy at work that he didn’t have time to dwell on the past. The pace in DC was hectic, and in his position as a special agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation, he took every case he could. But coming here to Florida brought back memories he’d tried to block over the years. Even as they faded to black-and-white.

He and Hannah had come up with the idea to get married while they were at the beach, shortly after high school graduation. Hannah had been talking about college and how she didn’t want them to be separated and before he knew it, they’d hatched a plan. It had been a night much like this, filled with promise and joy, but they’d been alone instead of in a crowd like the folks gathered here to celebrate with his mother. Seemed like it had always been him and Hannah against the world. He’d liked it that way. Didn’t need anyone else and neither did she.

Excitement had gleamed in her eyes. She’d thrown herself into his arms for a kiss that sealed the deal. Two months until their birthdays and then they’d make things official.

Until fate decided otherwise.

He let out a sigh as he heard someone approach. He looked over his shoulder and spotted Dylan walking his way.

“You going to be able to make it back in time for Mom’s wedding?” his brother asked.

“Looks like I’ll have to now.”

“Because you cheated.”

He canted his head. “Like that’s a shocker.”

Dylan chuckled. “You can get time off?”

“Turns out I’ve accrued a month and a half worth of vacation time my superior is hounding me to take. He hates paperwork and wants me to lighten his load by going, in his words, anywhere.”

“Have you made plans?”

“I was thinking about hitting the road.” Dante had restored and modified a classic ’67 Challenger for Derrick. The same car that was a piece of junk when he’d arrived in Hannah’s driveway the day he’d discovered her gone…

He’d jumped out of the car. Run up the brick path to the front door and rung the bell. Could barely keep still from the excitement coursing through him. After a few minutes of silence, he’d pressed the button again. And again. He’d moved to the large picture window and cupped his hands around his eyes to peer into the dark recesses of the house before stepping from the porch to walk around the house. No one out back. Stumped, he noticed the next-door neighbor watering her flowers.

“Hey, Mrs. Gaines. Have you seen Hannah around?”

The older woman frowned. “Heard noises last night. Couldn’t sleep, so I looked out the window to see who was making the ruckus. The family got in the car and took off.”

That couldn’t be right. “In the middle of the night?”

“There were some official-looking men telling them to hurry. Hannah and her mother were crying but they were pushed in the car and left.”

Gone? Just like that?

“But…”

The neighbor shrugged. “Can’t tell you any more than that.”

Derrick jerked when his brother spoke.

“I asked where you’re headed.”

He shook off the memories, including how his actions, and his father’s, in retrospect probably set events in motion. Maybe if it had been a normal breakup—still not a great scenario—he would have had closure. But his nature, to find answers, kept him hooked.

“No destination in mind. Just get in the car and drive.”

“Need a wingman? For part of the trip?”

“Nah. I’m good.” He gazed over the water. “You’re right, Dylan. It’s time to let go. Maybe on this trip I can finally get rid of baggage from the past.”

Dylan clamped his shoulder. “It’s a good idea.”

Derrick thought so, even if his heart cracked a little bit deeper.

MONDAY MORNING HE was back in his office, finishing the last of his stack of paperwork. His superior, Ron Collins, popped into Derrick’s office.

“I thought you were leaving today.”

“I am. Just wanted to clear my desk before taking off.”

“You do have plans, right?” Ron asked, hope in his eyes.

Derrick laughed. “Yes. I’ll be gone until next month. My mother is getting married in February and after that, I’m all yours again.”

“Look, I know I sound like a broken record, but it was either remind you about your accrued vacation time or you lose it.”

“It’s fine. I needed the push.”

Ron nodded at the computer screen. “You tied up the museum case?”

“Yep.” He rifled through the papers on his desk to find the printed report. “Here you go.”

“Nice job.”

“Thanks.”

“And Derrick?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Enjoy your time off.”

Derrick allowed a small smile. “Will do.”

Once he’d finished the last report, he gathered his mail from the corner of his desk. He tossed a few envelopes aside until he came upon a bulky 3 x 5 package. His name was scrawled across the front in a flowery script. Definitely not official. The return address came from Nevada. He didn’t recall knowing anyone from there. Curious, he ripped the package open and peered inside. No paper. He tipped it upside down and out tumbled a small red gem, about the size to fit an expensive women’s ring. When the late morning sunlight from his office window reflected off the gem, his breath caught in his throat.

He took a pen from the holder and pushed the cut stone closer. Leaned down to inspect it better. A flash of memory jolted him and he sat back in the chair—multiple stones scattered on Hannah’s father’s desk. Hannah asking him not to tell anyone what he saw.

Could this be a signal from Hannah?

He grabbed the envelope and scanned the return address again. Dark Clay, Nevada.

He swiveled in his chair and typed the name into the computer. Found the location about twenty miles outside Carson City near Lake Tahoe.

His heart started pumping wildly. Finally. After all these years. A connection. Was this Hannah’s way of contacting him? And why now?

Did it matter?

No.

He picked up his phone and booked the next available flight to Reno-Tahoe International.

SOMEONE WAS WATCHING Hannah Rawlings. Or, Anna Rawley, as she was currently known. She was sure of it.

She’d been on the run long enough to recognize when the little hairs on the back of her neck were warning her, not acting up because of the biting wind. She walked around the playground of Ponderosa Day School, avoiding patches of ice as she pulled her wool coat more snugly around her. It had rained just after the morning bell and since then the temperature had dipped close to freezing. The sun barely peeked out from the cloud cover. Shivering, she watched her students, but her eyes flitted around the schoolyard. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Tuesday. But still, she couldn’t shake the strange feeling.

“Miss Rawley, Tommy threw snow at me.”

She glanced down to find William staring up at her. She controlled her exasperation. What was it with boys, always tussling and one-upping each other? She crouched down to his level, her heart squeezing at his mournful expression.

Teaching ten-year-old children required a patience level and skill she never thought she’d need.

“What happened?”

“You know the pile of snow in the corner? Chuck was kicking it with his boots and then Tommy scooped it up and made snowballs.”

“I thought you boys were playing a game?”

He nodded, his blue eyes solemn behind glasses. “We were. It was my turn with the ball, but Tommy took it from me and then started throwing snow at me.”

As usual, Tommy made his own rules.

“I’ll talk to him.”

William’s face lit up. “You’re the best.” He turned and ran back to a group of boys.

“Hardly,” she muttered under her breath. Not when she wondered every day why she was getting dressed to go to school and teach a class full of rambunctious fourth graders. Not exactly her grand plan, but then, nothing had turned out the way she’d dreamed.

But once she arrived, the kids reminded her why she loved being around them. Their optimism and energy filled her with a sense of hope she hung on to daily.

Rising, she stuffed her gloved hands in her coat pockets and watched the boys work out their problems just before the bell rang. The students hurried to line up. Taking one last look around the schoolyard, Hannah searched for the source of her uneasiness. No adults hung around the fence. The cars in the parking lot belonged to teachers or support staff. Even the cars along the street were a normal part of the landscape.

Okay, so she was overreacting. Wouldn’t be the first time.

The next couple of hours dragged on as Hannah finished her day. The black slacks and white sweater she’d dressed in that morning did little to keep her warm. Despite the heated classroom, she couldn’t seem to stop shivering. She was exhausted by the time the kids had been released and she was free to leave. As she took her keys in her right hand, she remembered her earlier prickliness and clutched the pocket-size container of pepper spray attached to the ring. With the other hand she gripped her leather tote bag, ready to head home to check on her mother and then relax with a strong cup of tea. She made her goodbyes to her colleagues and walked to the parking lot.

A frigid late-afternoon wind whistled around her. Pine trees swayed, the needles rustling, cones dropping to the icy ground with a thud. Clouds hadn’t left the sky since she’d been outside earlier. Patches of crusty snow lingered along the curb from the storm a few days earlier. She shrugged deeper into her coat, wishing she’d remembered a hat. In the five years she’d lived here, she’d never gotten used to winter in Nevada.

Her car came into view. Hannah scanned the lot, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Silly, really. No one had bothered her in a long time. Still, the years of drills were seared into her muscle memory, most of them unnecessary. Heaving out a laugh, she reined in her imagination.

In her haste to cross the lot, her boots slid on an ice patch but she righted herself before wiping out. Carefully navigating her steps, she finally made it to her car. Relieved, she pressed the button to unlock the door. Her hand had just settled on the silver handle when she heard rapid footsteps on the asphalt behind her. She tensed. Continued to open the door.

Almost there.

She tossed the tote inside just as she heard, “Hannah.”

Shock enveloped her. No one had called her that name in over fifteen years.

A presence drew up beside her. Panicked now, she turned, lifted the canister in her hand and aimed at the deepest blue eyes she’d ever seen…a color she’d never forgotten.