Читать книгу Husband by Choice - Tara Taylor Quinn - Страница 14
ОглавлениеONE OF THE things Meredith Bennet never failed to marvel at in her life with Max was being able to crawl into bed beside him every night. Like magic, she could cuddle up to the warmth of his body, rest her hand atop the springy dark hair on his chest, and sleep without fear.
Without nightmare.
Meredith’s alter ego, Jenna, who’d awoken alone no fewer than four times with cold sweats the night before, was just as happy to be sitting on the antique chintz sofa in Lila’s sitting room, even if it meant giving more of herself than she wanted to give.
If this plan—to put an end to Steve’s presence in her life—was going to work, she had to be flexible. To go with the flow. At least until she’d had enough time to get ready....
And the plan was going to work. One way or another....
She was out of choices. Out of the will to run, to invent yet another life. She’d found the life she was meant to live—the only life she wanted.
She’d found a love that was real and true and as deep as it got and the only way to honor that love, to keep it in its purest form, was to love unconditionally. Selflessly.
There was no way Max would let her confront Steve on her own, and no other way to make the man go away. Max trusted his cop friends. Jenna was dealing with a man who could think like the cops and stay ahead of them at every step.
A man who didn’t respect the jurisdiction of any law but his own.
She knew. She’d seen him in action.
If Max knew that Steve was after her, he’d call the cops and end up getting hurt. Cornered, Steve was the devil himself. He very well might snatch Caleb, hurt an innocent little boy, just to get her to do what he wanted.
Which was why she had to let him know she’d left her family, rather than chance going home again. She’d left her cell phone so he’d find the van, the note she’d left. He’d read that note and think she left Max just like she’d left him. She hoped she was buying time by making him look for her again.
To keep him in the game of finding her.
“Did you go to college?” Lila, sitting in a wing-backed armchair opposite Jenna, asked her. She held her cup of tea with both hands, and looked as though she was settled in for a long chat.
“Yes,” Jenna said. She’d tried the tea. Didn’t like it all that much. The milk made it too heavy. But she’d sip it. Slowly. Because she could tolerate pretty much anything as long as she didn’t focus on it going down.
For now, her cup sat in its delicate china saucer on the walnut claw-footed table beside her.
“What did you study?”
“Various things. How about you, do you have a degree?”
“Yes.”
She’d been at the Stand a little over twenty-four hours and it hadn’t taken her that long to realize that no one knew much about the managing director. After Lila’s visit to her room the night before, she’d done a bit of quiet asking around.
“What did you do before coming to The Lemonade Stand?”
Lila’s gaze was pointed as Jenna’s question lay between them. Jenna expected a prevarication. Just as she wasn’t being completely honest with her. Such a contrast to the day she’d had, sharing lunch with women who told their stories openly. Dams bursting and releasing the hell of terror they’d experienced in one form or another.
“I was a school teacher,” Lila said conversationally.
From school teaching to managing a shelter for battered women?
“Do you miss it?”
“No.”
Because Lila was satisfied with the life she was leading? Fulfilled by it?
Meredith Bennet knew about living a fulfilling life. And so Jenna knew. But that wasn’t for her to dwell on. Not on that or anything else that would take away focus and strength from the task at hand.
She’d been called to Lila’s suite for a chat. So she chatted. “You didn’t like teaching?”
“Yes. I liked it very much. But it was time for a change.”
Lila’s gaze wasn’t piercing anymore. It was...assessing. And warm. In a motherly sort of way.
Jenna took a sip of tea. Admired the rose silk flower arrangement on a side table.
“What about you?” Lila asked. “Do you have a career?”
“I’m a speech pathologist.”
Lila’s brows rose and she asked, “What’s your specialty?”
“Pediatrics.”
“Are you willing to donate some time while you’re here?”
A slippery slope if ever there was one. They wouldn’t find a license for Jenna McDonald. But, if she could have even a small piece of her real life back, just enough to remind her how great it had been, to keep her strong while she prepared to face down the evil spirit in her life....
If she could help others while she was protecting Max and Caleb....
Lila’s stare was intense. It was as if the woman could read her mind. And her mind was the one thing no one got close to unless she invited them in. Max and Caleb were her only guests. Ever.
She’d fought too hard, for too long, regaining control of her mind from Steve, to give it up again.
“I’m willing to help out anyplace I can.” Innocuous words. She’d see where they took her.
“I’m assuming you have certification? A state license to practice?”
“Yes.” Under her married name. The only legal name she’d had since she left Steve Smith seven years before.
“Can I have a copy of it?”
A vision of Devon Wright’s effusive smile as he’d said goodbye to her the day before flashed across her mind. A picture of little Olivia, the three-year-old who was having surgery in another couple of weeks and would need help learning to swallow again. She’d spent six weeks with the little girl already, earning her trust, preparing her....
Jenna had a job to do. Meredith had a life to live.
But she couldn’t live it until Jenna did her job. And only if Jenna was successful....
She’d been at this crossroads before. Three other times. And each and every time she’d given up not only the life, but the goals. The joy. She’d allowed Steve to take away more than just her freedom. He’d taken away vital parts of her....
“Your secrets are safe here.” Lila’s soft tone was like a buzzer in the cacophony rumbling through her mind.
“It’s not my secrets I’m concerned about.”
“You are safe here.”
She wasn’t concerned about herself, either. But knew better than to say so out loud. At least in this atmosphere.
She wasn’t here to recover from domestic violence. She had a mate who treated her with decency and respect. Who was fully a partner and companion.
She’d sought the life she wanted and obtained it, just as she had every right to do. She’d stood up, pressed forward. She’d dared to reach for her dreams.
She’d succeeded.
Steve hadn’t gotten the message.
She’d looked fear in the eye and her ex-husband was looking right back at her.
So she was going to stare him down. And the first one who looked away would lose.
This was it. Her stare down.
She wasn’t turning her back again until Steve was out of her life for good.
Because there was no way in hell Steve’s evil was going to touch Max or Caleb. At least not on a daily basis. Not as a way of life....
“You don’t have to take this journey alone.”
Jenna’s gaze focused outwardly again. Lila was watching her, and judging by her compassionate, almost knowing expression, she’d been doing so for quite some time.
The older woman had asked for her certification. For Meredith Bennet’s certification. And unlike the other personas she’d left behind each time Steve had resurfaced in her life, Meredith was not going to fade away.
Meredith had a husband. And a son. Both of whom she loved more than she loved herself. She couldn’t turn her back on them. Even if she never saw them again.
And that was something else she couldn’t think about. Because in order for them to be safe, Max had to believe that she’d left him. He had to move on. She had to let him.
And if she succeeded? If she lived to see herself free of Steve? Was it right or fair for her to hope that somehow Max would be available to take up where they left off?
“I can show you my certification.” She had a scanned copy on the tablet she kept in her purse. “But if I do so, I put someone I love at risk.”
“How so?”
Something told her Lila was different. More than a counselor. Or a paid helper. More than a crusader for the cause.
And maybe Meredith had grown soft. Maybe Jenna’s skin wasn’t as hard as it needed to be.
“Jenna McDonald is not my real name, but it is the only name anyone here can know me by.”
“And if someone here knows you by your legal name, who would be hurt?”
Jenna couldn’t think of a thing to say.
Lila sipped tea. Jenna wanted out. It was past Caleb’s bedtime.
Not a Lemonade Stand thought.
“Okay.” The older woman’s voice broke the silence again. Broke through the emptiness inside of Jenna. “Block the name out. Show me the certification and I can put you to work immediately. We have a seven-year-old boy whose speech has become practically paralyzed with stutters....”
“You can look up my license number and know who I am.”
“I didn’t say give me a copy, I said show it to me.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“You want it now?” Jenna reached for her purse.
“Yes.”
She pulled out her tablet. Turned it on.
The certification was legible, but small. Holding the tablet with her thumb over her identifying information, she carried it over to show Lila.
The woman lifted her glasses. Read.
“Thank you.”
Jenna returned the tablet to her purse.
“When you’re ready, you bring me the rest of that and whatever I see there will remain between you and me. You have my word on it.”
“It’s not you, Lila, I just...”
Holding up her hand, Lila stood. “When you’re ready,” she said. “Just remember that I am here. That’s all I ask. When you need me, you do whatever you have to do to find me.” The woman repeated what she’d said the night before.
Jenna nodded, more because it was expected of her than because she could foresee any circumstance where she might do as the woman asked.
“And when you have something to say, there is space, right here, between you and me, to put the truth, no questions asked.”
Emotion rose inside of her, tightening her throat. Jenna picked up her tie-dyed cloth bag and slipped away.
