Читать книгу Antakarana. Quest in Reality - Татьяна Шуклина - Страница 23

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There are two exits waiting for us in the next room. Runner heads into the light tunnel. Joleo volunteered as his travel companion, whose unexpected courage cannot but arouse admiration. Having appeared at first as an insecure «absent-minded scientist», now he looks almost like a hero. At least, I am imbued with more and more respect for his ability to make responsible decisions in extreme situations, and, most importantly, not to panic. After all, many of us are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I volunteer to accompany Alex in the dark corridor. Partly because I just can’t sit in total darkness, surrounded by panic and fears, but more because I want to stop being inactive and, thus, come to my senses.

After a little time, we run out into a cave with two corridors: light and dark. At this point, we need to split up. Alex takes over the dark tunnel, and I must examine the light one. Before that, Alex puts his hands on my shoulders and intently looks into my eyes:

«I just wanted to tell you…»

Despite the serious situation, I experience a slight tingling sensation in my chest and some strange feeling in my stomach, comparable to a spasm during free flight…

«… the last time I played with you (it feels like it was in a past life), you disappointed me a lot. Don’t let me down this time, we have a whole bunch of blind kittens there. We won’t let them drown in this damn bucket!»

With these words, he turns me around and gives me a slight push towards the tunnel. That’s what Alex is! I am seething with indignation, but at the same time, this rage gives me strength, pushes me forward. What did I actually expect to hear?! Dying slobbering declaration of love or «leave me and live if you have to»? I’m angry with him, but even more angry with myself when I reach the next fork. The hated echo is heard:

«Until the flooding of the cave system remains: four hours and thirty minutes.»

Both passages are light, luckily for me. However, I am desperate. We’re wasting time again! What if I get lost in these caves? Will someone come looking for me? Alex will run to save his blind kittens. Again I feel a fit of anger and without further thought I head to the first grotto. Dead end. Relief. Disappointment. Second grotto. Long, tapering at the end. I have to get on all fours and crawl, so I remind myself of Alice in Wonderland. Now I will look out of the rabbit hole and see the magical alluring freedom… But instead of it – another dark hall. What to do next? I don’t have a flashlight. Reason insists on going back to Alex and exploring the grotto together.

«Losing time, losing time» … this thought knocks in my head. Ignoring the voice of reason, I enter the grotto, find a wall by touch and move along it, carefully examining the surface with my hands. Nothing, just a smooth, damp wall. I walk in a circle, constantly keeping in sight the bright passage from where I just came, in fear that if I look away for a minute, it will disappear. And then I will forever remain in pitch darkness! Once again I approach the light without finding a single tunnel. It was a dead-end grotto.