Читать книгу Marrying The Virgin Nanny / The Nanny And Me - Teresa Southwick - Страница 11

Maggie’s large, comfortable room in the Garrett penthouse was more like what she imagined a luxury hotel suite would look like, including its own bath. The walk-in closet was big enough to live in and the oak dresser, armoire, headboard and nightstands all matched. No garage sale or flea market stuff here. Brass lamps stood on either side of the king-size bed, which was covered in a beautiful Laura Ashley floral-print comforter. Accent pillows in shades of light pink and rose were piled high. A flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall in the sitting area complete with sofa, recliner and reading lamps.

Hands down, it was the most beautiful space she’d ever had in her life. But all of it paled in comparison to what she’d found on the dresser after settling Brady for the night.

She stared at the black-velvet jewelry box. It was not a very large box and she’d heard that good things come in small packages. Another in a list of gifts from Jason.

For the last four weeks he’d been doing thoughtful things like this. Flowers. Candy. A generous bonus in her paycheck. All of that was wonderful, but didn’t make her heart pound like it was now. She’d have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to know he was wooing her. Not in a romantic way. More of a loyalty retention, boss-employee appreciation sort of way.

But romantic things came in small packages, too. Hand shaking, she reached out and picked it up. In her whole life no one had ever offered her a small black-velvet jewelry box. She’d dreamed and fantasized about Jeff giving her an engagement ring—something that would fit in an elegant container like this. She hadn’t thought it could, but her heart pounded even harder.

Even as she ran her index finger over the soft, curved lid, she had an uneasy feeling. Flowers were a sweet gesture. Candy was candy. And a bonus for exemplary work was not out of the ordinary. But this was…She wasn’t sure what it was.

“Open it, you nit,” she chided herself. Lifting the lid, she gasped when two large diamond-stud earrings winked and sparkled. “Oh, my—”

They were quite possibly the most beautiful things she’d ever seen. And she had to give them back. Right away. Before the idea of trying them on took hold.

If Jason’s routine held true to form, this time of night with his son settled in sleep, he could be found working in his study. The door was ajar, with light trickling onto the plush hall carpet. She raised her hand to knock and took a deep breath before tapping lightly.

“Come in.”

She pushed the door wide and met his gaze. “May I speak with you?”

“Of course,” he said, pushing his glasses to the top of his head.

He’d changed out of his suit into jeans and a white cotton shirt, with sleeves rolled to just above his wrists. The missing power tie did nothing to diminish his power and one look tied her insides up in knots. That was so not how she wanted to feel for this conversation.

She walked in and set the jeweler’s box on his desk. “I spent time in the convent, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid and naive.”

He glanced down, then met her gaze. “I’m not sure what I did to make you believe I think that, but nothing could be further from the truth.”

“You’re trying to bribe me into changing my mind about staying as Brady’s nanny.”

“Bribe isn’t an especially flattering word.” He closed his laptop. “I prefer the word incentive.”

She put her hands on her hips and lifted her chin toward the velvet box. “So you don’t deny that’s a shameless attempt to convince me to extend my contract?”

“No.”

That took the wind out of her sails. “Oh.”

“It was the latest in a string of attempts—flowers, candy and a very generous bonus.” One dark eyebrow lifted. “All of which you accepted graciously.”

“This is different.”

“How so?”

Good question. It was personal? Not personal enough? “It just is,” she said stubbornly. “I can’t accept diamonds. It feels wrong.”

“What if I told you they’re cheap imitations?”

“Are they?”

“No.”

“Then it’s too expensive, extravagant and any other ex word you can think of,” she said.

“Not for me.” He smiled, but there was no warmth in it.

“Look, Jason, don’t think I’m not grateful that you appreciate my work with Brady—”

“It doesn’t look like work when you’re with him.”

Doesn’t feel like it, either, she thought. No way would she tell him that and have him use it against her. “He’s a sweet-heart. But I can’t stay any longer.”

“Why?” There was an angry edge to his voice. “Look, Maggie, I’m not hitting on you.”

“I didn’t think that.” Not really, even though a tiny part of her had hoped.

“Are you afraid I will if you stay? Did someone do that to you?”

“No.” If only it had been that ugly. Self-righteous anger would have helped her get over her hurt.

“Then tell me why I can’t alter the terms of this agreement and hire you permanently at an incredibly generous salary.”

“Because money isn’t everything. It doesn’t buy happiness.”

“It buys a hell of a lot of security.”

“It doesn’t buy an insurance policy against heartbreak.”

“What are you talking about?”

The dark, angry expression on his face chipped away her resolve that her past was no one else’s business. Maybe she did owe him an explanation.

She gripped the back of the chair in front of his desk until her knuckles turned white. “When I turned eighteen, I had to leave Good Shepherd because I aged out of the system.”

“Aged out?”

“Too old for state funding.”

“That stinks.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Fortunately I’d graduated from high school and I was determined to go to college. I had some scholarship money but still needed to work. My experience helping at the home came in handy. I got my first nanny job, which included room and board. I lived with a family and took care of the three minor children.”

“Minors? That implies there was an adult child as well.”

“The oldest son—Jeff Warren—This is the family I told you about.” A vision of brown hair and blue eyes flashed through her mind. He was handsome, smart and sweet. And he broke her heart. “He had a bachelor’s degree and was working on his master’s.”

“And he hit on you?”

“It wasn’t like that. We dated.”

“And then he hit on you?”

“You have to let that go.”

She almost smiled at his tenacity. If she had any stars left in her eyes, she might believe Jason was jealous. But Jeff had taken all the twinkle out of her and left the hard reality in its place.

“What then?”

“We dated. The family liked me and approved of the relationship. We were engaged to be engaged.”

“So it was all good?”

“Until Jeff’s father got a promotion and was offered the opportunity to build a mega resort in Macau.”

He frowned. “I guess he didn’t want to commute?”

“No.” She laughed and tried to keep the bitterness out of it, although without complete success. “Jeff’s parents decided to move the family and gave him the option of finishing school here. He agonized over what to do, but eventually came to the conclusion that a classroom was no substitute for life experience. He moved with the family and we agreed that calls and e-mails would keep us connected. His parents said I was like a daughter to them and promised to keep in touch, too. It wasn’t ideal, but we’d formed a bond and I finally had a family.”

“But no happy ending?” He removed his glasses from the top of his head and tossed them on the desk. “Otherwise this wouldn’t feel like a cautionary tale.”

She didn’t bother with a short affirmative answer. “He communicated at first, but it lessened over time and finally just stopped. When I called, he admitted that he’d met someone and was engaged.”

“Son of a…”

Sadness welled up in her. It wasn’t as acute, but still had the power to wound. “His parents eventually stopped communication, which was only natural under the circumstances. But natural didn’t make it any easier to come to terms with. I gave them my loyalty, my heart, and I lost everything.”

“That’s a tough break, Maggie, but—”

“Don’t tell me it will be different here. You have to do what’s best for your family, and I’m not part of it.”

“You’re what’s best for this family,” he said.

“For now. But what if that changes? And don’t tell me it won’t. I know better.” She rounded the chair and sat, gazing intently at him. “After I left the convent, Ginger placed me with a couple who’d just had a baby. Mom was on maternity leave and I helped out, staying on when she returned to work. That baby had me from day one and I gave everything I had because they said the situation was permanent. With my help she could have it all—a career and a baby.”

“Don’t tell me,” he said. “No happy ending here, either.”

“After six months she said it was too hard to be away from her child. She was missing too much and wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. So I lost everything again.” It shamed her that the memory still brought tears to her eyes. “How could I even be mad? Having a mom is the ideal situation.”

A hard look darkened his eyes. “Not if Mom didn’t want you in the first place. Not if your own mother doesn’t care enough to stick around.”

“Is that personal experience talking?”

He shrugged, which neither confirmed nor denied, yet the expression on his face was anything but neutral. It made her curious about him and that was dangerous, another in a long list of reasons why she was right to stick to her time limit.

“It may not seem like a big deal to you, but I never want to go through that again. I’ve found that my time limit works for me. And Ginger has structured a marketing campaign around my skills and restrictions. I’m an expert at assisting inexperienced parents through the transition and adjustment of a new baby.”

“What about my situation?” he asked angrily.

“Ginger has an impressive employee list. Many of them prefer long-term assignments—”

“That’s not good enough.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry you got hurt in the past. That happens when you wear your heart on your sleeve.”

“Not anymore,” she protested.

“That’s where you’re wrong. You still care. Maybe too much, but you can’t help that. It’s one of your most impressive qualifications. But now your caring has a short shelf life to keep you from getting hurt.”

“I’m glad you understand.” She stood. “I have a week left on my contract and then I’m leaving.”

He stood, too, and towered over her. “Fair warning, Maggie. I’ll find a way. Everyone has their price. If you put enough zeros on a check, it takes the sting out of life. However you want to say it, anyone can be convinced.”

At the door, she chanced a look at him and felt a pull on her heart. “Not me.”

Not with money. However, if he showed the slightest interest in her she wasn’t sure the bravado would hold up. She’d walked into his office looking for a fight. Now she realized the reaction was out of proportion to his generous gesture. It was earrings. Big, expensive diamond earrings, but impersonal jewelry nonetheless.

The only reason she could come up with for her meltdown was that she’d half expected to see a ring in the black velvet box. It was stupid and naive, both of which she’d denied being, but that didn’t change the truth.

She’d felt the sting of rejection once before, when she learned of Jeff’s engagement. When she’d seen the earrings, it was even worse. She’d felt a lot like a mistress who was being appeased. And she’d been disappointed.

This was a sign as big as any on the Las Vegas Strip that she would be lucky if another week here with Jason Garrett didn’t cost her as much, or more, than she’d lost in the past.

Maggie had finished packing her clean clothes and had the dirty ones in a laundry bag stashed by the half-opened door. On the tufted-silk bench at the foot of the bed she’d put out a pair of jeans and sweater for when she left in the morning. Ginger had a replacement coming. Jason had met and approved her, however ill-tempered and reluctant his attitude.

Now all she had to do was say goodbye to father and son.

Tears burned the backs of her eyes and her heart squeezed painfully at the thought of leaving. She caught her blurred reflection in the mirror over the dresser. It was going to hurt terribly when she walked out the door for the last time. A sob caught in her throat just before she heard a soft knock on her door.

Jason pushed it wide and stood there. With his tie loosened and the white shirt wrinkled from a long day at the office, he was incredibly appealing. For the last six weeks, it had grown increasingly difficult to keep from saying, “Hi, honey, how was your day?”

Quickly she turned her back to him, hiding the powerful reaction. Oh, God, not now. It was so not the time for her resolve to weaken. Leaving was the right thing for her.

“I’m sorry,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady. “Brady’s already asleep. He was just worn out.”

“It’s all right. I wanted to talk to you anyway.”

Too much to hope he wouldn’t make one last push to change her mind. A man like him wouldn’t be as successful as he was without a dynamic personality, a stubborn streak as wide as the Grand Canyon. Probably it worked for him with women, too. And she might even have changed her mind if her acute response to him just now hadn’t convinced her she’d be safer away from him and Brady.

The thought of that sweet little boy punched a hole in the dam of her feelings and the tears she’d barely managed to hold back trickled out.

“There’s nothing left to say, Jason.” This time her voice broke.

“Are you crying?” He moved close and put his hands on her arms.

“No.”

“If I haven’t said it already, I will now. You’re a lousy liar.”

“It’s not full-on crying. Just a tear or two.” She sniffled and tried to step away.

His grip tightened and he turned her, pulling her into his arms and against his broad chest. Wrapped in his comforting embrace was probably the safest she’d ever felt in her life. How could that be when the things he made her feel were big and scary? The emotions swimming inside made her want to both run and stay.

He rubbed a hand up and down her back. “Don’t cry, Maggie. Everything will be fine.”

“I know. It’s just—” A giant knot of emotion cut off her words.

“You’re sad.”

She nodded against his chest.

“You want to stay.”

She nodded again.

“So don’t go.”

She shook her head, then permitted herself one last moment to savor the sweet, solid feel of him before stepping away. “I have to. Everything is all arranged.”

“It can be unarranged. I’ll call Ginger and cancel your replacement.”

Brushing the moisture from her cheeks, she blew out a long breath. “Then what?”

“We go back to business as usual.”

“And what happens two months from now if you change your mind? You find Ms. Right and don’t need a nanny and kick me to the curb.” She looked at him, the fiercely determined expression in his eyes. “What about me? That sounds incredibly selfish, but I—”

“I’ll have a contract drawn up for any length of time you want. If my situation changes, I’ll pay it out, no questions asked. I’ll even add a rider for a bonus, proportional to time employed versus the amount of time left on the contract.”

She realized he didn’t get the emotional toll this was taking on her. “You think money can solve any problem?”

Without hesitation he said, “Yes.”

“You’re wrong, Jason. Money isn’t the solution to everything.”

“It doesn’t necessarily buy happiness, but it can buy a way out of problems. And that may be as close to happy as a person can get.”

“Money doesn’t keep your heart from breaking,” she protested.

“Do you love Brady?” He nudged her chin up with his knuckle, forcing her gaze to his. “Don’t lie to me, Maggie. I’ll know if you do. You’re exceptionally bad at it.”

“I guess I missed Deception 101 when I was in the convent.”

“You’re stalling. Do you love my son?”

Judging by the way her heart was breaking, the answer to that question was easy. “Yes.”

“Then don’t go. Stay and help him grow into the best person he can be.”

She shook her head. “My mind is made up. There’s nothing you can say to change it.”

“There must be.” A muscle in his jaw moved as his dark eyes turned almost black with frustration. “What if I asked you to marry me?”

She stared at him for several moments, not realizing she’d been holding her breath until she dragged air into her lungs. “That’s a joke, and I’m not even going to dignify it with a response.”

“Why not? I’m dead serious.”

“Oh, please.”

He rested his hands on lean hips, a challenging stance, as he met her gaze. There was a glitter in his eyes, as if he’d hit on the right button. “Marriage is a serious contract. It would protect your rights, something you never had in the past.”

Her heart was pounding, yet it felt like all the blood had drained from her head. She couldn’t think straight. He must be kidding, toying with her. And yet he looked completely determined.

“Marriage?” She held out her hands, a helpless gesture. “I don’t even know how to respond to that.”

“You need to come up with an answer, Maggie, because I still need one.” They stared at each other and tension rolled off him in waves. “How much will it take? When you showed up, I couldn’t help thinking I’d hit the jackpot. Nothing you’ve done has changed my opinion. I want to keep you. Name your price. How much will it take to convince you that I’ve never been more serious in my life? You’re the answer to my prayers.”

Prayer. She remembered another motherless child at Good Shepherd Home who prayed for a mother. That home was the only permanent one Maggie had ever known and it was still a haven for children. But not much longer unless Sister Margaret’s prayers were getting results. She’d told Lyssa that God gives you what you need at the appropriate time.

The home needed money. A lot of it.

“Answer me, Maggie. What will it cost for you to marry me?”

She said the first thing that popped into her mind. “A million dollars.”

“Done,” he said without hesitation.