Читать книгу When A Hero Comes Along - Teresa Southwick, Teresa Southwick - Страница 8

It wasn’t every day a man had the chance to come back from the dead.

More to the point, Marine Captain Joe Morgan had come back from hell. He knew what it felt like to face off with a cold-eyed terrorist who hated his guts and was determined to kill him. He knew what he’d done to keep from being killed and that secret would go with him to his grave, where it belonged.

Now he had to face Kate Carpenter, although she probably hated his guts, too. She had good reason, but he still had to see her. And his baby boy. He had to explain.

And here he was on her doorstep.

He lifted a hand to knock, then curved his fingers into a fist. Maybe he should have called first, he thought, running his fingers through his hair. He wasn’t one for putting things off. Mostly. Sooner or later they had to see each other. Although he’d been standing here for five minutes without knocking. Glancing around the apartment complex, he didn’t see anyone moving around.

The pathways through the rock-and-shrub landscaping were well-lit. He’d specifically timed this meeting for nineteen-thirty hours, seven-thirty at night, because it was early enough not to be too late, and late enough that he figured she’d be home. And with any luck not so late that she’d shut the door in his face.

But if he stood here much longer, anyone watching would wonder if he was up to no good. He probably was no good, enough to show up here anyway.

He ran a hand through his hair again, then pressed the doorbell, but he heard nothing and wondered if that was due to thick walls or a broken doorbell. Or was he broken? War was a noisy business; it took all kinds of tolls. Maybe his hearing had suffered.

But he’d passed his flight physical and could hardly wait to get back to the business of flying for his half of Southwestern Helicopter Service. The fact that his bastard of a brother owned the other half wasn’t something he could think about now.

Inside the apartment a shadow passed the window and he heard light footsteps on the other side of the door. If Kate was as smart as he thought, she’d be peeking through the peephole. Assuming she could reach it. It had been fourteen months, but he hadn’t forgotten how small and slender she was. He was six feet tall, yet she’d fitted perfectly against him, and the thought made him ache deep down inside.

Several moments passed and he realized his heart was racing. Between Afghanistan and Kate Carpenter, his ticker was getting a pretty good workout. But any second now the suspense would be over.

Any second.

Now.

He waited, but nothing happened. Was she standing there? Did she see him? What if she didn’t open the door? Could he really blame her?

He really should have called first.

“Kate?” He knocked lightly on the door. “It’s Joe. Morgan,” he added. In case she didn’t remember him.

He didn’t think that was likely. Not after the letter and what she’d said in it. But he knew from personal experience that women could turn the right memories off when they wanted to do wrong.

Inside, a chain scraped just before the dead bolt clicked and Kate opened the door. She didn’t say anything, just stared up at him, eyes wide, full lips parted slightly in shock. That was something he recognized. Shock was protection for mind and body—a time-out until the two were strong enough to handle trauma. He’d never actually thought of himself as a trauma. Not consciously. But now he realized he hadn’t called because he was afraid she would hang up on him. Refuse to see or talk to him.

Now that she was close enough for him to feel the warmth of her skin, he knew how badly he’d needed to see and talk to her. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Her eyes were huge and his memories hadn’t done them justice. At first glance he’d call them brown. But a closer look showed flecks of gold, reminding him that when she looked into the sun her eyes turned almost green. She was still small, and with clothes on it was hard to tell, but he would swear she was curvier than the last time he’d held her—made love to her.

Brown hair hung in shiny layers to her shoulders, and was still the same as when he’d run his fingers through it and kissed her until her breath was a sigh of surrender. Then her eyes had turned green and the sun had had nothing to do with it. But she wasn’t smiling now and he longed to see the dimples he knew would magically appear when the corners of her mouth turned up.

“Kate?”

She gasped, as if his voice brought her out of shock. “Joe,” she whispered. “I—I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“Surprise.” He shrugged, then hooked his thumbs in the pockets of his worn jeans and leaned against the doorjamb.

“What are you doing here?”

That wasn’t what he’d expected, yet it provided his first clue that he’d had a script of this meeting. In his head there had been smiles, dimples, hugs and—if he was really lucky—maybe a tear or two—followed by a heartfelt declaration of how glad she was that he’d come home.

“I wanted to see you.”

“Why?”

He wanted to think this was shock talking, but he knew better. She’d been hurt when he’d abruptly told her they were over. She hadn’t understood that it was for the best and he hadn’t explained why he felt that way.

“I got the letter,” he said.

“I wasn’t sure.” Her chin lifted. “You didn’t write back.”

“There’s a reason for that—”

“It doesn’t matter.” Her full lips pressed tightly together for a moment. “You made it clear that I was nothing more than a fling. We had fun. Just an affair.”

A hot and steamy affair, he thought. Instant attraction that had burst into flame. They couldn’t get enough of each other. But she was right. He had made it clear they were over, unfortunately, his memories were not. And one of his most vivid was of the last time he’d seen her, when she’d been wearing nothing more than a sheet and a pair of dimples. Then he’d dumped her and the dimples had disappeared.

“I remember what I said.”

“Then you remember you told me not to bother waiting. That I shouldn’t expect—”

“About expecting…” he said.

She looked down for a moment, then met his gaze. “I—I only wrote because I thought you had a right to know—”

This is where the whole right and wrong thing tweaked his tail rotor. “How soon did you know?”

Something like guilt flickered in her eyes. “What is it you’re asking?”

“Whether you were going to tell me at all.”

“I did have some conflict about that,” she admitted. “I—”

“Can we discuss this inside?” He glanced at the apartment doors on either side of hers. “Let me go out on a limb here and point out that you probably don’t want the neighbors eavesdropping on this conversation.”

She caught her lip between her teeth and her expression told him she was seriously thinking about turning him down. Then she stepped back and pulled the door wide. “Okay. Come in.”

Before she could change her mind, he walked inside. From where he stood he could see a kitchen and dining area with a French door that led to a small patio. The walls were painted light gold with white crown molding and six-paneled doors. Neutral beige carpet. But the painting of wine bottles and the decorative wrought-iron plate rack personified Kate. It was cute and charming and colorful.

He turned and looked down at her. In her snug jeans and a scoop-necked T-shirt that hugged every curve, she almost made him forget that he wanted to know why she’d waited so long to tell him she was pregnant. If he’d found out sooner, would it have changed things? That’s something he would never know.

“About the letter,” he said.

“We hardly knew each other, Joe. You made it clear you didn’t want to be tied down. And why would you believe I wasn’t trying to trap you?”

“Before I get blamed for something, shouldn’t I get a chance to screw up first?”

“And didn’t I have a right to know that you only wanted sex? Somehow I missed the signs.” Her eyes flashed a color that was new to him. “For the record, I don’t blame you. No one held a gun to my head.”

That’s for sure. She’d been warm and willing in his arms. And he’d wanted her more every time he saw her. Even after all this time, he still wanted her. “I was there. I’m back now.” Maybe he was the one blaming her when she hadn’t screwed up.

But he’d been fooled once and that was enough. Maybe the experience had fine-tuned his cheater meter, because he believed her. “He’s my son, too.”

In a split second, the expression on her face went from woman scorned to mother lion. “Since when? You made it clear that you didn’t want to participate when you didn’t write back.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t write back because I couldn’t.”

“Oh? Your arms were broken?” She sighed and shook her head. “That was a cheap shot. Look, Joe, the fact is I don’t want or need anything from you. I felt obligated to let you know about the baby. You didn’t—couldn’t write back. End of story.”

“Not so fast. I’m here now.” He’d have been here sooner if not for mission debriefing, medical clearance and military retirement paperwork. And this conversation wasn’t one he’d wanted to have over the phone. Or in front of her neighbors. Or, apparently, sitting down on the sofa. He met her accusing gaze. “There is an explanation. And I’d like you to hear me out.”

“Okay.” She folded her arms over her breasts and stared him straight in the eye.

“The letter arrived just as I was getting ready for a mission and I was going to answer it when I got back.”

“I see.”

“The thing is—it took me some time to get back.”

“What?” There was a wary look in her eyes. “Why?”

“My helicopter was shot down and the Taliban extended their hospitality for a while.”

And that was all she needed to know, all he would tell her.

Her eyes went from dark brown back to warm cocoa as she put her hand on his arm. “Joe—”

The touch of her fingers felt too good and he backed up a step. “I got in a little while ago and came straight from McCarran.”

That was important for her to know.

“I don’t know what to say,” she said.

“Tell me about my son.”

A smile curved up the corners of her mouth. “He’s perfect, the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“What’s his—what did you name him?”

She walked over to the end table beside the sofa and picked up a framed photo, then handed it to him. “J.T.”

As Joe stared at the chubby-faced infant in the picture something inside him went tight and his heart skipped. The baby’s eyes were big, blue like his own, but he had his mother’s dimples. “What does J.T. stand for?”

She hesitated a moment, then said, “Joseph Turner—that was my grandfather’s name.”

He slid his gaze to hers and grinned. “Has a nice ring.”

“I thought so.” She shrugged.

“He’s about four months old?”

She nodded and his gaze lowered to Kate’s now-flat abdomen. He wondered what she’d looked like pregnant. “Can I see him?”

“He’s asleep,” she said quickly, protectively.

“I just want to see him.”

She thought about that for too long and frowned while she was at it. Finally, she nodded. “This way.”

He followed her into the baby’s room. A night-light kept it from being too dark and he could see the crib, some kind of box overflowing with toys and a changing table. There were stuffed animals everywhere. Slowly, he walked over and stared down at the child, peacefully sleeping on his back. His small mouth pursed and worked in a sucking movement, then a little sigh escaped. His chest had felt tight many times before, but this was a sensation he’d never before experienced.

Joe reached out a finger and touched one tiny fist. He had to clear the lump in his throat before he could state the obvious, “He’s so little.”

A tender expression softened her face. “You should have seen him when he was born.”

But he hadn’t, although that wasn’t her fault. For six months he hadn’t even known there was going to be a baby and that was her fault. He hadn’t been there while his child grew inside her, or when she went into labor and gave birth. She’d robbed him of the beginning and an enemy on the other side of the world had stolen the rest. What if an attack of conscience hadn’t forced her to let him know? In his experience women kept a lot of things to themselves and none of it was in his best interest.

He met her gaze. “We need to talk.”

“Agreed. But not here and not tonight. Call me tomorrow?”

Sounded like an evasive maneuver to him. To fly choppers in a war theater, Joe had trained to run and dive to stay alive. But good training went hand in hand with tactics. Surprise was the best strategy.

“All right,” he said. “You’ll hear from me tomorrow.”

Near Mercy Medical’s emergency entrance Kate Carpenter stood about twenty yards from the square concrete slab with the big red X in the center of a circle marked with a blue H. This was where the medical evacuation helicopters landed. One was on its way with a fifty-eight-year-old male. Possible heart attack. The patient was from Pahrump. Because her mother lived there, she knew it was an hour from Las Vegas on a winding two-lane road. Medical intervention would have taken too long if he’d been brought in by regular ambulance.

Mercy Medical Center E.R. nurses alternated meeting the medevac chopper and today was Kate’s turn. The emergency-room doctor had already seen the EKG strip and was keeping in touch with the situation via radio and the readings from the heart monitor hooked up to the patient. This was a level-three trauma center, and it was where she’d met Joe Morgan for the first time. Talk about trauma.

She still couldn’t believe he’d shown up last night without warning. Not that a warning would have helped her on the inside, but her outside would have looked a lot better. At least she could have put on lip gloss and mascara. A woman shouldn’t have to meet the man from her past without benefit of cosmetics.

She’d half expected to see him when the calendar said his twelve months overseas were over. But one day had turned into another and time had passed without any word from Joe. Finally, she’d figured he was one of those guys who was nothing more than a sperm donor. The look on his face when he’d seen his son for the first time told her she’d been wrong. That worried her more, even though he’d never asked to hold J.T.

Her emotional reserves had been about depleted when she’d finally suggested they meet another time to discuss the situation. He’d agreed, then left, looking tired. He was a little leaner than when she’d last seen him and she wondered what he’d been through. His cavalier explanation about the Taliban extending their hospitality wasn’t much information, but she had her suspicions—and a very bad feeling. He might be leaner and meaner, but he still packed that Morgan punch that kicked her pulse, heart rate and respiration into the danger zone.

Then she heard the whump, whump of helicopter blades growing louder and looked up as the bird seemed to float closer. When the rotor wash was near enough to blow her hair off her face, she gave herself a mental pinch to get her mind off personal problems and into the trauma.

She waited impatiently until the blades stopped moving, then ducked her head and with the respiratory therapist moved the gurney to the open door of the chopper. The flight nurse helped them offload the patient and handed over Jim Bennett’s paperwork, then they wheeled him to treatment room six in the E.R.

After transferring him to the exam table, Kate wrapped the blood-pressure cuff on his upper arm. “I’m going to get your vitals, Mr. Bennett.”

“Okay.” The man had a full head of brown hair streaked with silver and the pallor of his face reflected his pain and fear.

She removed the stethoscope from around her neck and plugged it into her ears, then put the bell in the bend of his arm and pumped up the cuff. After listening carefully, she noted the results. Next came pulse and respirations which she also marked on his chart. She was giving the patient a couple of aspirin when Dr. Mitch Tenney walked into the room.

The doctor took the chart from her and flipped through it. Without looking at the patient, he said, “Mr. Bennett, you’re having an M.I.”

“What’s that?” The man’s fearful gaze moved back and forth between them. His anxiety quotient was edging him toward panic.

“Myocardial infarction,” Mitch said.

“Heart attack,” Kate translated.

“We’re going to give you some anticoagulants, a clot buster and some morphine for the pain.” Mitch looked at her. “Per my standing orders.”

“Okay,” she said nodding.

“Then we’re going to transfer you upstairs to the cardiac-care unit for observation.” Mitch started to walk out.

“Am I going to die?” Mr. Bennett asked.

Mitch finally looked at him. “Not today.”

Kate shook her head at the doctor’s curtness. Mitch Tenney was the finest trauma specialist she’d ever seen. What he lacked in bedside manner he made up for in skill. And that’s probably the only reason he was still on staff. Mercy Medical administration had received more than one complaint and the doctor was flirting with his third strike.

She stayed with the patient until he was transferred upstairs, then checked in at the nurse’s station. “If I’m all clear, I’m going to grab some lunch.”

The supervisor looked up from her computer monitor. “Go, Kate. It’s late. You must be starving.”

“Yeah. Been one of those mornings.”

And it got just a little more unpredictable when she walked through the waiting room on her way to the cafeteria. Joe stood there dressed in a khaki flight suit, aviator sunglasses hanging from the V where his white T-shirt peeked above the zipper.

“Hi,” he said.

“What are you doing here?”

Mentally she smacked her forehead. He wasn’t dressed up for Halloween. These were work clothes for a helicopter pilot. She just hadn’t connected the right dots fast enough to realize that he was her helicopter pilot. He’d brought Mr. Bennett in.

“Scratch that,” she said, shaking her head. She wasn’t prepared to deal with him again so soon. Part of the reason she’d cut last night’s visit short was to pull herself together, but one sleepless night of thinking about him hadn’t been long enough to settle her traumatized nerves. And when he stood there looking like temptation for the taking, she knew her nerves wouldn’t be upgraded from critical to stable any time soon. “I guess what I meant to say was don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

“Not at the moment.”

He looked good, she thought. The one-piece flight suit should look dorky, but didn’t. Not on Joe. It was impossibly masculine, along with his short dark hair which was mussed in a good way. Dark-blue eyes met hers and he seemed more serious than she remembered. More compelling. And more dangerous.

He was still handsome, and looking at him did scary things to the rhythm of her heart, which had already worked pretty darn hard in less than twenty-four hours. But he was different somehow. The self-confident, cocky air that had first captured her interest was missing in action. He seemed more watchful, wary, on full alert.

His face was strong, with a square jaw and a nose that was not quite straight. Looking closer, she noticed a scar on his chin, a back-slash that she didn’t recall. And she would. She’d kissed every inch of his face during those intense weeks they’d been together, before he’d abruptly told her it was over between them.

Kate slid her hands into the pockets of her scrubs as she looked up at him. “I’m on my way to lunch.”

“Mind if I join you?”

She shrugged. “Suit yourself. But it’s hospital food. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Roger that.”

The cafeteria was on the first floor and she led him through the maze of hallways until the scent of food drifted to them. It was late for lunch and the room was practically empty. They took red plastic trays from the stack and slid them along the metal shelf in front of the steam table while studying the day’s menu choices—beef stroganoff and chicken teriyaki. She looked up at Joe, intending to break the tension and say something light and innocuous about the awful food, but her tongue refused to work. She was immobilized by the expression in his eyes—probing, intense, alive, knowing. Suddenly she wasn’t hungry—at least not for food.

She cleared her throat, then said, “I recommend a hamburger.”

He nodded, and she ordered two. They got drinks from the fountain dispenser, then filed by the cashier and Kate insisted on paying because of her employee discount.

When they were facing each other across a table, she cut her hamburger in half. Anything to keep her hands busy. Unfortunately, the movement also highlighted the fact that they were shaking. “So—I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“It was bound to happen.”

“Because of J.T.,” she said.

“Because Southwestern Helicopter Service is my company and we have the contract for medical evacuation with Mercy Medical Center.”

“I knew that.” It was another reason she’d half expected to see him when his tour of duty ended. “I just figured as owner of the company, you were running the show from behind a desk.”

“No way.” He shook his head. “The way I see it, anyone who doesn’t want to fly is crazy.”

Mentally she raised her hand for a free pass to the psych ward. She liked both feet on the ground, thank you very much. One irreconcilable difference in the con column and she suspected there would be more. Part of the problem was that she didn’t know how many more. She’d spent several sizzling weeks with this man and talking hadn’t been high on her list of things to do with him. But the list had changed. He was J.T.’s father and she knew very little about him, except that he’d charmed her into breaking her rules, then disappeared and broke her heart. That’s what happened when you didn’t follow the rules. She wouldn’t be making that mistake again.

“I see,” she said.

Without cutting it in half, he took a manly bite of his burger, then chewed. “So, who watches J.T. while you’re at work?”

Probably he’d have asked that even if she hadn’t mentioned their son a few moments ago. And she was going to cut him a break on the slightly judgmental tone in his voice and chalk it up to her imagination, aggravated by guilt from leaving her son in order to make a living and put a roof over his head. “I have someone.”

“I guess you checked out this someone?”

“Of course. She’s mature. A grandmother.” When she noticed the look on his face, she added, “A young grandmother. She has references.”

Joe finished his hamburger while she picked at hers and made crumbs out of the bun. Without consciously forming the thought, Kate had known that Joe showing up would complicate her life. But this conversation was making her uneasy. Somewhere she’d heard that the best defense was a good offense. Although whoever had said it probably wasn’t facing off with an honest-to-goodness warrior.

“Look, Joe, I’m not sure exactly what you’re getting at. But I’ve got questions, too. Like, why didn’t you call before coming by last night?”

He shrugged. “I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-the-pants kind of guy.”

“And I’m a feet-on-the-ground and plan-everything-out kind of girl.”

“Not when we were together,” he said, heat blazing in his eyes.

He was right about that. From the time she was old enough to understand that her mother chose one loser after another, Kate had promised herself that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes. She would do things in a practical, orderly way. She would fall in love, get married, and after a reasonable length of time, probably two years, they would have a baby.

Then she’d met Joe. He came into Mercy Medical’s E.R. for stitches in his hand and laid his follow-me-into-sin grin on her. She’d known she was flirting with danger, but the excitement of it was irresistible. She couldn’t believe that a man like him was interested in Candy Carpenter’s only daughter and for once she silenced the practical voice that warned her to run far, run fast. Instead, she’d run straight into his arms for a magical month.

Then he’d simply said it was over and he was deploying for a year. After that, she’d buried her pain behind an it-serves-me-right attitude and figured she got off with a cheap lesson. Mostly she believed that until she found out she was pregnant and had made the mother of all mistakes—pardon the pun. But that didn’t mean she was like her mother. She took care of herself, all by herself. And that’s the way she liked it.

“We were together a long time ago,” Kate said. “And a lot has changed since then.”

“Yeah.” Shadows slid through his eyes as he nodded. “You had my baby.”

“And I wouldn’t trade him for anything,” she said fiercely. “I love that child more than I ever imagined it was possible to love anyone. Everything I do, every decision I make is for him.”

“Okay. But I’m back now. If I’d been here…”

What would have been different? He’d dumped her. So what if it had taken her a while to let him know he was going to be a father? The decision was huge. Her own father had skipped out before she was old enough to remember him and Kate had often wondered why he’d bothered to marry her mom in the first place if he didn’t plan to stick around. Joe had just done the not-sticking-around part up front.

Finally she said, “It’s okay, Joe. It’s not your fault you couldn’t be here for J.T.”

“But I’m here now.”

“Yeah.” And they needed to talk about what that meant. Real soon. But she wasn’t ready yet.

“I want to do the right thing, Kate.”

“What does that mean?”

More importantly, did she really want to hear this?

The uneasy feeling grew in her chest until she had trouble drawing in air. J.T. was hers. She could take care of him, support him, raise him to be a good man. She didn’t want or need anyone’s help for J.T. to be healthy and happy. If she didn’t let anyone else in, the chances of keeping him happy went up. If she did it herself, she would know it was done right because she would always be there for him.

She looked at Joe and braced herself. “Define the right thing.”

“We should get married.”