Читать книгу What Makes A Father - Teresa Southwick, Teresa Southwick - Страница 11
ОглавлениеAnnie tried to think of a reason getting to know Mason was a bad idea. She wondered how Mr. I Had a Perfect Childhood would feel about co-parenting with someone whose story wasn’t so pretty. But he had a right to know.
Common sense dictated that she find out everything possible about her babies’ father and she couldn’t do that without giving him information about herself. But he made her nervous. To reveal her nerves would require an explanation about why that was and she didn’t think she could put it into words. At least not in a rational way. Last time he’d been here, he was less than pleased about not being informed that he might be a father. Annie couldn’t really blame him and wondered if he was still resentful.
“Getting to know each other is probably a good idea,” she agreed. “I was going to have a quick bite to eat while Charlie and Sarah are sleeping. It’s just leftovers but you’re welcome to join me.”
“Thanks. What can I do to help?”
“Set the table, I guess.” She wasn’t used to having help; it was nice. “I’m going to throw together a salad and I have cold fried chicken. I’ll nuke some macaroni and cheese.” She pointed out the cupboard with the plates and the drawer containing utensils. Napkins were a no-brainer, right in plain sight in a holder on her circular oak table.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“One thing about me you should know right now,” Annie said as she put prewashed, bagged lettuce into a bowl. “Never call me ‘ma’am.’ It makes me feel like I need help crossing the street.”
“Understood.” He set two plates on the table. “So what should I call you? Miss Campbell?”
“Annie works.” She put dressing on the greens and handed him the bowl containing long-handled serving spoons. “Toss this, please.”
“Yes, ma—” He looked sheepish. “Sorry. I’m a civilian now.”
“I guess you can take the man out of the military but you can’t take the military out of the man.” She felt a little zing in her chest when she looked at him and struggled for something to say. “So, you were in the army.”
“Yes. I enlisted.”
She put a casserole dish in the microwave and pushed the reheat button. “Why?”
“I wanted to go to medical school and couldn’t afford it. My parents wanted to help, but it’s a steep price tag and I didn’t want them taking out a second mortgage or going into debt. It was the best way to get where I wanted to go without putting a strain on them. When I got my MD, I owed the military four years. The upside is that I was able to serve my country while paying back the government.”
Watching him toss the heck out of that lettuce, Annie realized a couple of things. He was way above average-looking and it wasn’t as hard to talk to him as she’d thought. Although, he was the one doing the talking. With a little luck he wouldn’t notice that she hadn’t revealed anything about herself yet.
Keep the conversation on him. She could do this. She was a grown woman now, not the geeky loner she’d once been. “So now you’re a doctor.”
“That’s the rumor. Also known as an emergency medical specialist.” He stopped tossing the salad. “I’ve started my job at Huntington Hills Memorial Hospital. Just so you know I’m not a deadbeat dad.”
“I didn’t think you were.”
“Just wanted to clarify.” He shrugged his broad shoulders. “This kind of feels like a job interview. Maybe the most important one I’ll ever have.”
“I hadn’t thought about it that way. And it doesn’t matter what I think,” she said. “You are their biological father. Time will tell if you can be a dad.”
The expression on his face didn’t exactly change but his eyes turned a darker navy blue, possibly with disapproval. “Spoken like a true skeptic.”
“I am and there are reasons.”
“You’re not the only one. Your sister wasn’t going to tell me I’m a father.”
Annie got his meaning. He was wondering if keeping the truth from a man was a shared family trait. Part of her wanted to remind him she was the reason her sister made the daddy candidate list. Part of her respected his skepticism about her. More often than not people let you down and the only way to protect yourself was to expect the worst. So, yay him.
“That was wrong of Jessica. In her defense, I’d like to point out that she was taking steps to do the right thing. It’s not her fault that she couldn’t see it through.”
“Look, Annie, I didn’t mean—”
“Sure you did,” she interrupted. “And you’re not wrong. So this isn’t a job interview as much as it’s about finding a way to work together for the sake of those babies.”
He thought for a moment. “Can’t argue with that.”
“Okay.” The microwave beeped so she pulled out the casserole dish and stirred the macaroni and cheese, then put it back in for another minute. “So you have family here in Huntington Hills?”
“Parents and siblings,” he confirmed.
“How many siblings?”
“Two brothers and a sister.”
Annie felt the loss of her sister every day and not just because of caring for the twins. No one knew her like Jess had. They’d shared the same crappy childhood and her big sis had run interference at home and at school. She’d always had Annie’s back—no matter what.
“You’re lucky to have a big family.”
“I know you’re right, but I’m looking forward to having a place of my own,” he said.
“Don’t tell me.” She grinned. “You’re a man in his thirties living with his mother. You know what they say about that.”
“No. And I don’t want to know. Besides, it’s not as bad as you make it sound.” He smiled and the corners of his eyes crinkled in an appealing way.
“There’s no way to make it sound good.”
“I guess technically I live with my parents here in town. I sold my house before going to Afghanistan. I’m just staying with the folks until I can find a place of my own.” His smile disappeared and there was a shadow in his eyes, something he wasn’t saying.
And she didn’t ask. The microwave beeped again and she retrieved the dish and set it on the table. “Okay, then. That makes it a whole lot less weird.”
“Good.”
“Dinner is served.”
They sat across from each other and filled their plates. Well, he did. A couple pieces of chicken with a healthy portion of macaroni and cheese. He dug in as if he hadn’t eaten in a week.
He finished a piece of chicken and set the bone on his plate. “So, what about you?”
“Me?”
“Yeah. I’ve monopolized the conversation. Now it’s your turn.”
She really didn’t like talking about herself. “What do you want to know?”
“Do you have a job?”
“Other than caring for the twins?” She realized he had no frame of reference yet for how that was a full-time job. “I’m a graphic designer.”
“I see.” There was a blank look in his eyes.
“You have no idea what I do, right?”
“Not a clue,” he admitted. “I was going to wait until you were busy with something else and Google it on my phone.”
He was honest, she thought. That was refreshing. “Let me save you the trouble. I create a visual concept, either with computer software or sketches by hand, to communicate an idea.”
“So, advertising.”
“Yes. But more. Clients are looking for an overall layout and production design for brochures, magazines and corporate reports, too.”
“So, you’re artistic.”
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess. But I can honestly say that I’ve always loved to draw.” She didn’t have to tell him she was dyslexic and that made anything to do with reading a challenge. Was it genetic? He might need to know at some point but that time wasn’t now. “Fortunately, I can do a lot of work from home. Which means I haven’t had to leave Charlie and Sarah much. Yet.”
“Oh?” He had finished off his second piece of chicken and half a helping of the macaroni. Now he spooned salad onto his plate and started on that.
Annie pushed the food around hers. Talking about herself made her appetite disappear. “We’re developing an advertising package and bid for a very large and well-known company. I won’t jinx it by telling you who. But if we get it, my workload could increase significantly and that would mean meetings in the office.” She speared a piece of lettuce with her fork, a little more forcefully than necessary. “And the twins don’t really have much to add to the discussion yet.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m planning to cross that bridge if and when it needs crossing.”
She put a brave and confident note in her voice because she didn’t feel especially brave or confident. Leaving her babies with a trusted friend who bailed her out in an emergency was one thing. Turning them over to a stranger, even a seasoned child-care professional who’d passed a thorough background check was something she dreaded.
“It’s really something,” he said. “Taking in two infants.”
“How could I not?” Annie swallowed the lump of emotion in her throat. “Their mother was my sister.”
“Still, I know people who wouldn’t do it. You and Jessica must have been close.”
“We were. She was always there for me. No matter what—” Unexpectedly, tears filled her eyes and Annie didn’t want him to see.
She stood, picked up her plate and turned away before walking over to the sink. She felt more than heard Mason come up behind her. Warmth from his body and the subtle scent of his aftershave surrounded her in a really nice way.
“Annie, if I haven’t said it already, I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“That’s exactly what her doctor said to me when he told me she was dead. Is there a class in med school on how to break bad news to loved ones?”
“No. Unfortunately, it’s just experience. The kind no doctor wants to get.”
It had been three months since Jess died. Annie had thought she was out of tears and didn’t want to show weakness in front of this man. Maybe because he was the babies’ biological father and had a stronger and more intimate connection to them than she did. The reason didn’t matter because she couldn’t hold back her shaky breaths any more than she could hide the silent sobs that shook her whole body.
The next thing she knew, his big, strong hands settled gently on her upper arms and he turned her toward him, pulled her against his chest in a comforting embrace. He didn’t say anything, just held her. It felt nice. And safe.
That was a feeling Annie had very little experience with in her life. Odd that it came from a relative stranger. Maybe Jess had felt it, too.
Annie got her emotions under control and took a step back. She was embarrassed and couldn’t quite meet his gaze. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“Don’t be.”
She shrugged. “Can’t help it. I don’t know why I broke down now. It’s not a fresh reality.”
“Maybe you haven’t had time to grieve. What with suddenly being responsible for two babies.”
That actually made a lot of sense to her. “Anyway, thanks.”
“You’re welcome. I hope it helped.” He looked like he sincerely meant that. Apparently the business of helping people was the right one for him.
“Speaking of those babies, I’m going to check on them. It’s not their habit to be so quiet and cooperative when I’m having a meal.” The first one with their father, she noted.
“You cooked, so I’ll do the dishes.”
“Cook is a very nebulous term for the way I warmed up leftovers. But I’m taking that deal,” she agreed.
The best one she’d had in a long time. She went to the “nursery” and found Charlie and Sarah awake and playing. Standing where they couldn’t see her, she watched them exploring fingers and feet and smiling at each other.
Her heart was so full of love for these two tiny humans that it hurt, and was something she experienced daily. But having a man in her kitchen doing dishes didn’t happen on a regular basis.
She found herself actually liking Mason Blackburne. So far. But she hadn’t known him very long. There was still time for him to screw up and she had every confidence that he would.
Men couldn’t seem to help themselves.
Mason was feeding a bottle to Charlie when he heard footsteps coming up the outside stairs followed by the apartment door opening. Annie walked in and looked at him then glanced around.
“Wow, it’s quiet in here. And really neat.” Was there the tiniest bit of envy in her expression? “I’m feeling a little inadequate because I can’t seem to manage two infants and an apartment without leaving a trail of debris and destruction in my wake.”
“Oh, well, you know—”
After several weeks of him visiting the babies every chance he could, she’d reluctantly accepted his offer to watch them while she went to her office for a meeting. He wasn’t completely sure she hadn’t done a background check on him before agreeing. Fortunately he’d already passed the diaper-changing, bottle-feeding and burping tests. Still, Annie had been very obviously conflicted about walking out the door and leaving him in charge. He’d assured her there was nothing to worry about and shooed her off to work.
She’d barely been gone five minutes before all hell had broken loose. Two code browns and a simultaneous red alert on the hunger front. His situational readiness went to DEFCON 1 and he’d done what he’d had to do.
Glancing at the hallway then at her, he said, “I thought you’d be gone longer.”
She walked over and kissed Charlie’s forehead. The scent of her skin wrapped around Mason as if she’d touched him, too, and he found himself wishing she had. The night she’d cried and he held her in his arms was never far from his mind. She’d felt good there, soft and sweet.
“I stayed for the high points then ducked out of the meeting. I just missed my babies and didn’t want to be away from them any longer,” she said. “How did it go? Where’s Sarah?”
At that moment his mother walked into the room holding the baby in question. Florence Blackburne was inching toward sixty but looked ten years younger. Her brown hair, straight and turned under just shy of her shoulders, was shot with highlights. He’d been about to tell Annie that he’d called her for help, but he was outed now.
“You must be Annie. I’m Florence, Mason’s mother.”
Annie’s hazel eyes opened wide when she looked at him. “I thought you said you could handle everything.”
“When I said that, the ratio of adults to babies was one to one. And I did handle it,” he said defensively. “I called for reinforcements.” He set the bottle on the coffee table and lifted Charlie to his shoulder to coax a burp out of him. It came almost instantly, loud and with spit-up. “That’s my boy,” he said proudly.
“Seriously?” she said.
“Eventually he’ll learn to say excuse me.” Mason shrugged then returned to the subject of calling his mom. “I admit that I underestimated my multitasking abilities.”
“Oh, please,” Flo said. “You just couldn’t stand that one of your children was unhappy.”
“Yeah, there’s that,” he acknowledged.
“Even though I told him that crying isn’t a bad thing. They’d be fine.” Flo was talking to Annie now. “You know this already. You’ve been doing it by yourself since these little sweethearts were born.”
“I have.” Annie gave him a look that could mean anything from “You’re a child-care jackass” to “Finally someone gets it.”
“How nice that you had backup on your first solo mission.”
Flo’s blue eyes brimmed with sympathy and understanding as only another mother’s could. She handed the baby girl to Annie. “You’re not alone now, honey. Being a mother is the hardest job you’ll ever do times two. And sometimes you need a break. Recharge your batteries. Take a deep breath. Go get your hair trimmed or a pedicure. I just want you to know that I’m here. Don’t hesitate to call.”
“I would never impose,” Annie said.
“These are my grandchildren. It wouldn’t be an imposition. I have a part-time job as a receptionist in a dermatology office and my hours are flexible, so we can work around that. Mason will give you my number.”
“Thank you.” Annie kissed Sarah’s cheek. “I appreciate that.”
“What are grandmothers for?” She shrugged. “Full disclosure, I might spoil them just a little because I’ve waited a long time to play the grandmother card. Charlie and Sarah will learn that my house is different, but I will never compromise your rules. I might be prejudiced, but these are the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen. Although I don’t see much of Mason in them.”
“Gee, thanks, Ma,” he teased.
“I didn’t mean it like that, son.” She smiled at him. “It’s just that they look a lot like you, Annie.”
She pressed her cheek to baby Sarah’s. “There was a strong resemblance between my sister and me.”
“Then she was very beautiful,” his mom said.
“She was,” Annie agreed.
The subtext was that Annie was beautiful, too, and Mason couldn’t agree more. Today she was professionally dressed in slacks, a silky white blouse and black sweater. Low-heeled pumps completed the outfit, but he missed her bare feet. Her straight, silky blond hair fell past her shoulders and she was wearing makeup for the first time since he’d met her. And he’d been right. She was a knockout.
“Well, you two, now that everything is under control, I’ll be going.” Florence grabbed her purse, kissed Mason on the cheek and smiled fondly at her grandbabies. “It was wonderful to meet you, Annie. You don’t need my approval, but it has to be said that you’ve done a remarkable job with your children. And I sincerely meant what I said. Call me if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Blackburne—”
“It’s Flo.” She patted Annie’s shoulder. “’Bye.”
And then the two of them were alone, each holding a baby, and Mason wondered what Annie was thinking.
“So that was my mom.”
“You have her eyes.”
He’d heard that before. “It turns out that when one of my children is crying because he or she has needs that I can’t instantly meet, it’s not something I manage very well.”
“As flaws go, it’s not an exceptionally bad one to have,” she conceded. “So you called your mom.”
“Yeah.”
“And if I got home later and your mom was gone, would you have let me believe you sailed through your first time alone with them trouble free?”
He would have wanted to. There was the whole male pride thing, after all. But… “No. I’d have told you she’d been here.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s the truth and it’s the right thing to do.” He shrugged and a dozing Charlie squirmed a little against his shoulder.
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
He remembered her saying she was a skeptic and had her reasons. Skepticism was rearing its ugly head now. “In time you’ll be convinced that I embrace the motto that cheaters never prosper.”
“And in time, if I’m convinced, something tells me your mom is responsible for that honest streak.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. She’s really something.”
“She’s just excited and happy to finally have even one grandchild. In her world twins is winning the lottery.”
“I didn’t mean that as a criticism.” There was a baby quilt on the sofa beside him. Annie took it and spread the material on the floor in front of the coffee table. She put Sarah on it then sat next to him. “I meant just the opposite. She’s full of energy in the best possible way. The kind of supportive, protective mother I wish my mom had been. The kind I want to be.”
That little kernel of information reminded Mason that he didn’t know much about her. The night they’d been getting acquainted he’d given her some facts about himself. She’d only offered up what she did for a living and then he’d held her when she’d cried. He hadn’t been able to focus on much besides the soft curves of her body and hadn’t noticed how little he’d learned. Now he was becoming aware of how guarded she was. And it wasn’t just about protecting Charlie and Sarah. She held parts of herself back and he wondered why.
He stood with Charlie in his arms, then moved to the blanket on the floor and gently settled the sleeping baby next to his sister. After stretching his cramped muscles, he met Annie’s gaze. “So, what you just said implies that your mother wasn’t supportive.”
“She had issues.”
He waited for more but that was it. “Had? Does that mean she passed away?”
“No. She lives in Florida with her husband.” When Sarah let out a whimper, Annie jumped up as if she’d just been waiting for an excuse to end this conversation. “Did she have a bottle?”
“No.”
“Okay.” Annie scooped up the baby and went into the kitchen to get a bottle from the refrigerator.
Mason didn’t claim to be a specialist in the area of feelings but it didn’t take a genius to see that Annie wasn’t comfortable talking about herself. Either she was hiding something or there was a lot of pain in the memories. So now he knew she was a graphic artist, had adored her sister and missed her terribly. And there was stuff in her past that she didn’t want to talk about.
That was okay. She was the mother of his children and he wasn’t going anywhere. In his experience as an ER doc, he’d learned that often people held things back but eventually the facts came out. And he wanted all the facts about his children’s legal guardian.
