Читать книгу An Angel on My Shoulder - Theresa Cheung, Theresa Cheung - Страница 8

I’ve got a bit ahead of myself, so let’s go back to the first year of my daughter’s life. In the months after my vivid angel dream there were, of course, times when I felt overwhelmed. What new mother doesn’t? But whenever I felt unable to cope or out of my depth all I had to do was remember the feeling of warmth and comfort my guardian angel gave to me that night when I was at such a low ebb. Simply remembering that it was OK to make mistakes and that an angel was walking by my side guiding me through the good times and the bad times was usually enough to give me strength. It wasn’t until my daughter’s first birthday, however, that the black and heavy fog of depression cleared away completely.

I remember waking up that morning with a violent headache. I’m prone to migraines when I get stressed and that day there was so much to do. Although we had only invited a few friends round and were determined to keep things low key, I still felt apprehensive. This was the first time I had invited a gathering of people to our house since our daughter had been born. A part of me wondered if I was really up to it.

Perhaps I wasn’t. For no reason at all, buying the food and drink, wrapping the presents and tidying the house became insurmountable obstacles in my mind. I stood in the shop agonizing over which birthday cake to buy and when I ran out of wrapping paper I cried as if it were a national disaster. On top of all that, the vacuum cleaner wasn’t working, so the carpet looked dirty, and the central heating had packed up, so the house felt cold and unwelcoming. But if I’m honest with myself, none of these irritations was the real cause of my distress. The greatest pain for me was that my mother wouldn’t be there to celebrate with us. She had always longed for grandchildren but had died before I had got married and had them. She had also died alone.