Читать книгу Manhattan Voyagers - Thomas Boone's Quealy - Страница 13

Jimmy Donovan, 50, a round-shouldered man with hangdog eyes, freckles and an advanced case of male-pattern-baldness sat slouched on a barstool, contemplating dark thoughts about his dim job prospects, slowly nursing a beer.

Ruthie left the Coat-Check, stole up behind him, ruffled his hair, and put her lips to his ear. “I’ve two important words for you, Jimmy, so listen carefully.”

“What’s that?”

“Laughter Yoga.”

“Huh?”

“Yoga improves your mental discipline and ability to concentrate.”

“I know, Ruthie, my wife does yoga.”

“And laughter brings oxygen into your brain which relieves stress and boosts your immune system. It’s all part of the Mind-Body connection.”

“I’m not in the mood to do much laughing right now.”

“No, not now, Jimmy, not here, but when you’re at home.”

“Huh?”

“Sit in the lotus position and force yourself to laugh when you’re alone.”

“Oh, Ruthie!”

“You see, Jimmy, your body can’t tell the difference between real laughter and fake laughter.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So you’re going to feel much better even if you fake it.” She rested her cheek on his. “I love you, Jimmy, but I must get back to work.”

“Thanks for your concern, Ruthie, it was sweet of you.”

“One more thing before I go.”

“What?”

“If I were you, Jimmy, I’d seriously consider becoming a Buddhist.” She released him and departed as quickly as she had come.

Arnie Stark brought him a fresh beer. The Bar Manager, a tall man with a turkey neck and a long rattail reaching down to his waist, had worked at the Bull & Bear for 21 years without ever taking a sick day.

Jimmy held up his not-quite-empty beer bottle. “I’m still massaging this one.”

“Cheers, it’s on the house,” Arnie said, speaking out of the side of his mouth as he always did.

“Since when does a cheapskate like yourself buy customers back after the first drink?”

“Since I heard about your trouble, Jimmy.”

His jaw worked back and forth. “News travels fast.”

Arnie nodded sympathetically. “It does and bad news travels much faster than good news.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. It’s because people secretly enjoy gossiping about someone else’s troubles.”

“I see.”

“The krauts even have a name for it, Jimmy, they call it schadenfreude. It means pleasure which is derived from the misfortune of others.”

He nodded. “I learn something new every day.”

Arnie sprayed a bluish detergent on the bar’s surface and wiped it off with a damp cloth. “Don’t give up on yourself.”

“It’s easy for you to say; you’ve got a job.”

“We’ve all got our problems, Jimmy, you’re not unique by any means.”

He ran his hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Arnie, of course you have your own problems. Forget what I said, I was out of line, I apologize.”

“It’s already forgotten.”

“Thanks.”

“You can’t wait for life to make the next move, Jimmy, you need to take the Bull by the horns when it comes to looking for your next job.”

“I know; Tuck and me are going to try and figure that out tonight.”

“And choose wisely because at your age you only get one bite of the apple.”

“Has Tuck come in yet.”

“No.”

“What about Carl?”

Arnie picked up his empty beer bottle and dropped it into the recycle bin. “I’d stay away from him if I were you.”

“A man is considered innocent until proven guilty in this country.”

“I grew up in France, Jimmy, where the legal system operates under the Napoleonic Code. Over there, you’re presumed guilty until proven innocent.”

“Hmm.”

“It works better that way; they have much less crime and far fewer lawyers in France than we do here.”

“Are you going to return to France when you retire, Arnie?”

He shook his head. “Je deteste les Francais.”

“Oh.”

“It goes back to the war and the treatment of my parents.”

“I see.”

“There are some things a person can’t forgive or forget.”

“Has Eddie been in?”

“Yes, he’s here somewhere. But I’d stay away from him too.”

“Why?”

“Eddie is his own worst enemy, Jimmy, the guy needs to be protected from himself.”

“Hmm.”

He began to polish a line of brandy sniffers with a cloth. “It is very difficult to save people from themselves, Jimmy, almost impossible.”

“I realize that.”

“What Eddie needs is a strong dose of tough-love from his pals; a swift kick in the ass from his enemies wouldn’t do him any harm either.”

“I can’t disagree with you.”

“And he drinks like a fish.”

“I’ve never seen him drunk, Arnie, he’s always lucid no matter how many drinks he’s had.”

“Eddie’s a skillful lush; he’s an expert at hiding his alcoholism. It’s called the ‘Liar’s Disease’ for a very good reason.”

“Don’t be so sure. A rehab counselor once told me an alcoholic is defined, not by how much he drinks, Arnie, but by what effect the alcohol has on his personality after he drinks.”

The bar manager stopped polishing. “Listen to me, Jimmy, I’ve been around drunks my entire life and that bozo counselor doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.”

“It’s his business, Arnie, it’s the way he makes his living.”

“Yeah, maybe so, but I’ll wager he doesn’t own a Mercedes or an apartment in Manhattan!”

Carl Pizzi, wearing a frayed sweatshirt, washed-out dungarees, and a stained Mets baseball cap on his head, entered the bar with a big-city-swagger.

“Speak of the Devil,” Arnie muttered, then suddenly remembered an urgent chore at the other end of the room.

Carl plopped down next to Jimmy and, true to form, immediately violated barroom protocol by hitting on a brunette a few stools away. “Hi, sweetie, I got a rocket in my pocket! Let’s do-the-hokeypokey, you and me!”

She quickly turned a cold shoulder.

Then he yelled at Arnie’s retreating back. “What’s a customer gotta do to get a watered-down drink in this crummy joint?”

“Take a chill pill, Carl, talking shit to people is no way to make friends.”

“I got all the friends I need, Jimmy, thank you very much.”

“A person can never have too many friends.”

Ashley, a statuesque brunette bartender with small body tattoos, made an appearance. A former model, she was a college student during the day.

“What’s with your boss, Ash?”

“Arnie doesn’t like you, Carl, he’d rather you took your business somewhere else.”

“I’m going to complain to Hilda, his customer relations skills suck.”

“That won’t get you anywhere, Carl, she doesn’t like you either.”

He smiled. “Do you like me, Ash?”

She looked him up and down critically. “I like your Mets hat.”

“That’ll do, babe, bring me a gin and tonic.”

“Coming right up.”

“I heard about you losing your job, Jimmy, I’m sorry.”

“Thanks for your concern.”

“He jabbed a thumb towards Ashley. “Now her job is recession-proof, the worse the economy gets, the more tips she makes. People guzzle drinks by the case when they’re worried about paying the bills.”

“I’m not so sure even her job is safe anymore.”

“Oh?”

“An IBM supercomputer recently defeated two former champions on the Jeopardy game show and won the $1.0 million prize. Now that computers can understand and respond to a spoken language, the pundits believe they can replace humans in many service jobs.”

He snickered. “I got a question for you, Jimmy.”

“Go ahead.”

“When’s the last time you got a hard-on staring at a computer?”

“You may have a point there, Carl, about bartenders.”

“They don’t call themselves bartenders anymore, Jimmy, now they want to be known as mixologists.”

“No kidding.”

“Yeah, everybody is status conscious today, they want important sounding titles.”

“Maybe so.”

“I … ‘scuse me, I gotta snee…” He quickly pulled open the neck of his sweatshirt and sneezed onto his hairy chest.

Jimmy pivoted away in revulsion.

“I always get the sniffles when the seasons are about to change.”

He pushed a bunch of paper napkins towards Carl.

“So, Jimmy, do you have any job prospects?”

“Not really. The only stuff out there are straight sales jobs; no salary, no pension, no medical benefits; just commissions on what you sell.”

Carl nodded. “You eat what you kill.”

“That’s about the size of it.”

“If you don’t make any sales this week, that’s tough shit. It means the wife and kiddies don’t eat next week.”

“Right, and you’re not an official employee on the company payroll. You’re merely an independent contractor, the same as a real estate broker.”

“Those kind of fucking jobs are for the birds!”

“I agree.”

Ashley delivered Carl’s gin and tonic.

“Maybe I’ll start a tab, babe.”

“In that case, I’ll require a credit card.”

He took out a thick roll of bills. “On second thought, Ash, can you break a hundred?”

She frowned. “Don’t bust my chops so early in the evening, Carl, it’s going to be a long night.”

He peeled off a crisp $20 bill and slapped it on the bar. “Buy yourself a wet one too, Ash, while you’re at it.”

“Thanks, but they don’t allow us to drink on duty. I’ll get your change.”

He held up the roll so Jimmy could get a good look before putting it away.

“That’s too much cash to be carrying, Carl, you’re asking for trouble.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“It’s dangerous.”

“Cash makes me feel good.”

“Hmm.”

You gotta remember, Jimmy, it wasn’t so long ago I had only lint in my pockets.”

“I remember.”

“Yeah, the same as you, I was kicked out by my firm too.”

He drank from his beer bottle, making no comment.

“I can guess what you’re thinking, Jimmy, that I was fired over rigged stock trades. It’s what you heard; right?”

“Something along those lines.”

“Listen, I didn’t do nothing my bosses hadn’t approved up and down the line. When the regulators jumped all over us, they made me the scapegoat.”

“I see.”

He emptied the gin and tonic and wiped the corners of his mouth with his sleeve. “I was the one who took the fall and lost his securities license.”

“Hmm.”

“As you well know, Jimmy, shit only flows downhill on Wall Street.”

“Right.”

“And there are two sides to every story.”

“Uh-huh.”

He held up his empty glass and rattled the ice so Ashley would notice he wanted a refill. “And bring Jimmy a fresh beer too.”

“Thanks, Carl.”

“Anytime, Jimbo.”

“What kind of work are you doing these days?”

His lip twisted. “Eh, you might say I’m helping heavy hitters find investment opportunities.”

“Are they overseas investors?”

“I’d rather not go into any details, Jimmy, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course, I understand.”

“I knew you would.”

“Your new gig, Carl, whatever it is, appears to pay very well.”

He slapped him on the back. “Oh, yeah, I got no gripes. You could say I’ve got it made in the shade.”

*