Читать книгу Of Man and Animals - Thomas R. Hauff - Страница 8

Abbey sat and listened as Karen talked about the Bible verse. She re-read silently to herself at the same time: “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance.” It seemed pretty clear to her. But Karen was missing it—as usual. She was saying: “. . . and each person has different former things which they have to deal with. You know what I mean?” Abbey wondered if Karen herself knew what she meant. Sure, everyone had different former lusts, but they all came out of the same pool. We all know what the lusts are. Karen was probably making excuses somehow for not wanting to conform herself. Everyone in the group knew she still smoked! And sometimes she swore! Abbey tuned back in to Karen: “. . . so just because one thing is considered a former lust to you doesn’t mean it is for someone else. I mean, it may not be a sin, right? It could just be a cause of failure for that one person. Something they put before God. You know?”

“You know?” “You know?” “YOU KNOW?”!! Abbey was sick of that catch phrase at the end of Karen’s sentences. No, she didn’t know! She had no idea of what Karen knows! She looked over at Sharon and rolled her eyes, silently saying, “Poor thing still hasn’t given herself over to Jesus fully.” Sharon smiled at her and resumed listening attentively to Karen. “Hmmmm,” thought Abbey, “I wonder if Sharon has a few snakes to kill. She acts like she might actually be considering what Karen is saying.”

Karen finished her oratory, and the group fell silent for a moment. Sally cleared her throat, but did not say anything. Abbey took the opportunity to jump in. “I don’t know exactly what you mean Karen, but I think I agree that we all have our own lusts that we must abandon in order to conform to God’s life. For example, my friend Amy doesn’t live a Christian life even though she says she’s a believer.”

Karen nodded and asked, “And what lusts is she conformed to that makes you think she’s not living the Christian life?”

Abbey glanced at Sharon thinking, “Leave it to Karen to need it spelled out for her. Sometimes she can be so dense!” She said, “You know, all the things that a Christian does.”

Karen was unsatisfied. She asked, “Like what?”

Abbey again looked around the room for support. Clearly Karen was missing the point. The point was that Amy was still conformed to her former lusts even though she was supposedly a believer. Karen just could not get that. Abbey said again, “Well, just the usual things Christians do. She doesn’t exhibit the fruits of the Spirit.” “How could Karen still not get this?! She was always talking in Bible study, and doesn’t even get the simplest point!”

Karen nodded again and said, “What are the fruits of the Spirit that you don’t see?”

Abbey shifted in her chair growing indignant with Karen’s ignorance. She couldn’t dress her down for it, but it galled her just the same. “Surely she knows Galatians five, verses twenty-two and three!” With her lips slightly tight with frustration she spat, “The fruits spelled out in the Scriptures: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I’ve seen her drinking, and the deeds of the flesh include drunkenness and carousing.” She clearly had shut down this argument. “Why are you even asking this? It was funny how Karen just missed so much of the point SO often.”

Still feeling confident with her clarity of thought, Abbey was broadsided when Sharon said to her, “How do you know Amy doesn’t have love and joy and those other things?” Abbey swung her head slowly to Sharon as a look of incredulity passed over her features for a split second. “You’ve got to be kidding! Our Sunday school teacher’s wife asking that!?”

Abbey was almost dumbfounded! “How can you explain love?” She responded with just a tinge of indignation, “Well, I don’t see her in church. How does that show faithfulness?” “That would shut her up!”

Sharon responded blandly, “Hmmmm, I wonder if that’s the only way to show faithfulness.”

Abbey was getting angry now. She blurted out, “How can you be faithful at all if you are not among the people to show it?” “She was going to show these two. They almost seem like they aren’t Christians!”

Sally said softly, “Are we supposed to be faithful to show that we are to other believers?”

Abbey shook her head minutely. That was so convoluted that it didn’t even make any sense!

Sally pressed on, “I mean, if we’re faithful—we’re faithful. It doesn’t matter if we are at church showing it off or not, right? My husband works on Sunday and doesn’t go to church, but he’s still faithful. I mean, he still seems to love, and have joy and stuff.”

Abbey pursed her lips. “That is true, but he’s special. If you took that argument, you wouldn’t have a church. You’d just have a bunch of believers who got together just among themselves whenever they wanted to! What kind of church would that be?” Aloud she said, “Well, Craig shows faithfulness other ways. Like being at Bible study the other night and playing on the church basketball team.”

As everyone thought about Abbey’s response, Karen took the lull in conversation and said to Abbey, “Are you saying that faithfulness is only apparent if a person goes to church and is part of a church group like the basketball team or Bible study or something like that? As long as they are in some church-affiliated group they are ok?”

“Did that need a response?! Of course that’s what I mean!” Abbey said back, “It hardly seems Christian if a person just sits at home on Sunday. You tell me what kind of faithfulness that is?”

Sharon chimed in, “What if that person were gifted with a strong desire and ability to pray for others, but hated being in crowds, or was bed-ridden? Wouldn’t she be faithful in praying for others, even if she didn’t go to church? Or suppose someone went to church every week but didn’t participate except to just sit there? Is that faithfulness?” At this there were nods from everyone else!

Abbey looked around her and began to wonder if anyone in this “Women’s Bible Study” was even Christian! They seem to be saying that a person could not even go to church and be as faithful as someone like herself who went every week! She looked around and said, “But the Bible says we shouldn’t ‘forsake our own assembling together,’ and that obviously means we have to go to church.”

Sally piped up again and said, “I think that verse also says we should ‘stimulate one another to love and good deeds’ and that we should encourage each other. Like the point of it is that we need to be encouraging and building one another up—you know? It’s not really focusing on ‘church.’ I sort of thought doing that constitutes ‘gathering together’ because it seems like we can do those things without necessarily being in a church building—even the gathering together. I mean, how many people constitute ‘gathering together’? Isn’t more than one a gathering somehow? And what’s the point of gathering together if you don’t do the encouraging part? Like if you just sit there and go through the motions but don’t really interact with anyone in the rest of your life?”

Abbey looked at her saying nothing. “She sure talks a lot for someone who just became a believer a couple years ago!” She said, “Well, I don’t know about you all, but Jesus said, “Whosoever loves me keeps my commandments!’ and going to church is clearly a commandment.”

Sally marshaled her courage and pressed on, “But isn’t that what we’re saying? That church, like the building and all, isn’t necessarily what Jesus was focusing on? Is that the only way to ‘gather together’? Is that the only way to be faithful?”

Abbey was now convinced. Sally may not be saved. And if she is, she is really back-slidden. And come to think of it, she misses a lot of church too. She said she wanted to spend time at home after working all week. “Well,” thought Abbey, “She wouldn’t have to work all week if she followed God more. They want the house and cars and career and all, and they cut God out to get it!” She looked at Sally, then Karen. Finally she said, “I don’t know about you. But I know God wants us at church. But we’re not talking about that right now. We’re talking about being conformed to our former lusts. It just seems to me that non-believers don’t go to church. And if we don’t go either, then we are conformed to our former lusts. Besides that, you go to almost any church and you find the things that make a Christian a “Christian”: Music, Bible study, Sunday church service, Youth group, and what not. If you don’t do those things, or some of them, how can you call yourself a Christian? You’re just a wolf in sheep’s clothes!”

Abbey looked around with a set jaw. She knew it was hard to hear, but she felt good about speaking God’s will regardless of the consequences. And after all, “All things worked for good for those that love God and are called according to His purposes.”

Luanne sat quietly throughout the discussion. When the meeting finally closed she walked to her car thinking about her life. She didn’t like to go to church. She’d never liked it. She’d gone for years and hated the triviality of it. They talked around the Bible, and around people’s lives. Finally, she quit going. She never quit believing.

Luanne sat in her car looking at the church parking lot waiting for Karen. She’d come to this Bible study originally because her neighbor Joan said it was geared to younger women like herself. And after meeting Karen, she thought it would be worthwhile. Most of them were younger. Some seemed in their late thirties. And this Bible study was on her block. It only met at the church once in a while. She didn’t attend the church, but Karen had said that didn’t matter. She was welcome.

A bird flew over and cast a fleeting shadow over Luanne’s eyes. She glanced up and caught a glimpse of robin feathers. Her mind wandered off, exploring the idea of robins. She vaguely recalled something about the birds of the field having from God all they needed to survive. It was funny how people and animals reflect one another so often. She remembered Abbey’s phrase, “a wolf in sheep’s clothes.” It was another similarity between people and animals. She sat and thought. “Busy as a bee. Angry as a hornet. He’s a bull in a china shop. He’s a dog. She’s a bitch. Make him the goat. Swim like a fish.” “People and animals,” she murmured to herself.

As Luanne sat ruminating, Karen came up to the passenger window. Deep in her musings, Luanne didn’t notice her until she knocked softly. Luanne turned with a start, and then relaxed at Karen’s smiling face. She leaned over and unlocked the door.

Karen got in and said, “Hey Luanne, thanks for waiting. I needed to check in at the office for a moment.”

Luanne nodded the explanation away. She didn’t mind. It had given her a chance to enjoy the day. She began to start the car, then stopped just as she grasped the key. Turning, she asked Karen, “What did you think of Bible study today?”

Karen looked at her with an impish smile. Luanne knew what was coming and smiled herself in anticipation. Karen said, “Maybe you should tell me what you thought.”

Luanne mock grimaced at her. Since she had met her, Karen was always making Luanne put her thoughts together into coherent ideas on her own. She said it was because she needed to know for herself what she thought, and by saying things out loud, we are forced to think about them. Luanne was silent a moment, collecting her thoughts. Then she said, “It sounded to me like Abbey didn’t think any of us were Christians. She was snapping at each of us.” The slightest trace of frustration flashed momentarily across her face.

Karen looked at her closely, pursing her lips. Then she asked, “Do you really think that’s true?”

Luanne looked out the windshield. A bird had landed on the fence a few yards away. She saw that it was pecking at something in its claw, tearing pieces of it off, one at a time, reducing it bit by bit. She turned back to Karen and said, “I guess I don’t really think she believes that. She’s always making pronouncements about how Christians ought to be and what they ought to do. It’s like she feels she needs to guide everyone into her experiences for them to be valid. I think she goes overboard sometimes.”

Karen smiled at her and nodded. It was a sign that she wanted Luanne to continue on her own before giving her opinion. Karen was always expecting her to come up with things on her own. Only when she’d voiced her thoughts would Karen offer her own. Even then Luanne seldom knew how to respond to them. Karen sometimes agreed, sometimes disagreed, but never required Luanne to agree with her. She just seemed to put another point of view forward for consideration. It was not that Karen didn’t know what she thought. She seemed to almost always have a good point of view. But she didn’t force it on others. She let them hear it, and decide on their own. It was totally opposite of Abbey.

Luanne continued, “I think maybe she likes Christianity to be in a neat little box. You do these things, you’re a believer. You do those things, you’re not. She has her purposes and ends that she wants from others. And they are always her ways.”

Karen asked, “And you? What do you think of that position?”

Luanne answered, “I don’t see how that can work. If Christianity were that cut and dried, we’d all do the same things and get along just fine. But we are all unique. And we all do different things. It seems to me the most important point is figuring out how to utilize everyone rather than trying to work them into some set program. I think we ought to get rid of church the way it is. It doesn’t even try to identify or utilize people’s unique talents. And people like Abbey seem to be limiting God on how he makes and uses people.”

Karen looked at her, thinking. Then she said, “That sounds good. Let me ask though, are you saying Christians can do anything? Are there any hard and fast rules of conduct or required behaviors and beliefs?” She said this with a grin as Luanne’s face suddenly scrunched up in thought.

That was the problem with Karen, thought Luanne, laughing to herself, she always cut to the chase and made you defend your position. “Let’s see, it makes no sense to say there are no rules at all. That would make everything ok. And clearly not all lifestyles could be called ‘Christian.’ But what made one Christian a living believer and another a ‘wolf in sheep’s clothes,’ as Abbey would put it?” “It seems like there are two things that matter: One, there are direct prohibitions in the Bible like ‘don’t steal’ or ‘don’t sleep around’; and there are direct proscriptions like ‘believe in the Lord Jesus.’ Then there are those things which we are called to do, but aren’t spelled out. Like ‘love one another’ and ‘be joyful.’” Luanne remembered the list that Abbey had quoted as the “fruits of the Spirit”: Love, joy, patience, kindness, and goodness. “The fruits of the Spirit that Abbey mentioned all seemed to be attitudes. They could be acted out in a zillion different ways.”

Karen nodded and said, “And what about the ‘do not forsake gathering together?’”

Luanne looked down at her hands. She’d been taught all her life that she had to go to church. She hated church. But she loved Karen, and Joan, and Sally. She loved a lot of believers. She loved getting together with them. Talking about life, about things they were doing, about how God was working in them. She even loved hearing God’s Word at church. She looked back up at Karen and said with conviction, “I don’t think you are forsaking ‘gathering together’ just because you skip church. There can be other productive ways to gather together. I think Sally had a good point on that. I guess I feel guilty about it when Abbey talks because she seems so sure that you have to go Sunday mornings to be a good believer.” She halted and watched the bird pick little pieces from whatever was in its claw. It suddenly stopped and flew off, letting the carcass fall—stripped of almost everything that identified it uniquely. It had been a butterfly. It had one wing missing entirely after the bird was finished and the other was torn in two. It lay on the ground at the base of the fence post and flopped about, no longer having the necessary equipment to fly as it was intended. Luanne watched it lunge about for a moment or two. Then she said, “I feel like Abbey is picking people apart—trying to make them fit her ideal. I know I love God, and I know I’m living in Him. I don’t want to conform to her view.”

Karen grinned and said, “Then you should keep at it Luanne; go where God leads.” And let Abbey keep at it too. Her patterns work for her. And yours works for you. You both are great women, and I’m sure Abbey is deeply appreciated for her services—as are you.”

Luanne nodded and started the car. She prayed a quick prayer for Abbey and her other friends as she drove from the lot.