Читать книгу A Family To Heal His Heart - Tina Beckett - Страница 12

LINDY WASN’T TOO sure about bringing her mom and Daisy to the hospital for lunch. Especially not after what had happened with Dr....Zeke. Would he think she was distracted again?

She was off duty, so it was really none of his business.

Besides, she hadn’t been distracted per se. She’d been well aware of what she was doing and what she was supposed to be doing. And none of that involved the hunky surgeon.

Hunky? Really, Lindy? She gave an internal roll of her eyes.

Besides, her mom wanted to see the hospital, and she could think of no good reason to tell her no. And Daisy had seemed excited about eating somewhere other than at her or Mimi’s house.

“It’s hospital food, so don’t get your hopes up.”

Her mom laughed. “I don’t have to cook, so I’m sure it’ll be great.”

“Poor Dad. Is he fending for himself today?”

“No. He’s headed to the lodge to see his buddies. Which leaves me with time to spend with my favorite daughter.”

“I’m your only daughter, Mom.” She flashed a quick smile. “But I’ll take whatever time with you I can get.”

Especially since she hadn’t seen her parents for the duration of her marriage, something that should have sent up a red flag. Luke had supposedly landed a fabulous job across the country almost as soon as the ceremony was over. But, looking back, she wondered if quitting his job in Savannah had been the plan all along. There’d actually been quite a few flags that she’d missed along the way. All because she’d “fallen in love” and hadn’t taken precautions. Then, when she’d realized she was pregnant, she’d been too quick to say yes when he’d asked her to marry him.

But no more. If she ever found herself in a relationship again, she was going to make sure she let her mind do most of the work, rather than putting her heart in charge.

She had no desire to jump into that particular lake again. Maybe she’d wait until Daisy was grown up before dating. When she thought about what could have happened the last night she and Luke had been together...

She swallowed, her hand going to her throat as a phantom ache threatened to interfere with her breathing.

Stop it, Lindy. Daisy is fine. You’re fine.

Leading the way through the door to the cafeteria, she frowned when she spied the doctor she’d thought of as “hunky” just a few minutes ago. Great. Just what she needed.

She hadn’t had to work with him for the last several days, thank God. But she hadn’t really expected to see him here either.

Why not? The man had to eat, just like everyone else.

Just as she was ready to shepherd her mom and daughter back the way they’d come with a manufactured excuse, Zeke’s eyes met hers, narrowing slightly before moving from her to her mom and then to Daisy.

Then he frowned, deep furrows giving his face an ominous look that made her shiver.

Her chin went up. She wasn’t cowering ever again. She had as much of a right to be in here as anyone. She changed her mind about leaving and ushered her mom and Daisy over to the line and got behind them, swinging Daisy up into her arms. “What do you want to eat, honey?”

“Sheeshburger.”

“A cheeseburger? How many of those have you had recently?”

Her mom shook her head. “Hey, don’t look at me. We had plenty of fruits and vegetables to go with yesterday’s burger.”

Lindy’s dad loved to cook out on the grill, and his meals were always delicious. “I was teasing.”

Against her volition, her gaze slid back to Zeke, who she found was still watching her from the coffee bar. The frown was gone, and in its place... Another shiver went through her, this time for a completely different reason. When he snapped the lid onto whatever he’d just poured in his cup, he didn’t move away from them like she’d hoped. Instead, he headed their way.

The shivery awareness died a quick death. She had no desire for her daughter to meet any of her male colleagues. Especially not Zeke.

She wanted her daughter to have a good long stretch of stability to hopefully counteract anything she might have seen sensed or heard during her mother’s disastrous marriage.

Then Zeke was in line with them. “Hi. You must be off today.”

This time it was her brows that came together, until she realized she wasn’t dressed in scrubs. Although there were people who did bring their street clothes to work and changed into them after their shift. “I am. I thought I’d show my mom and Daisy around.”

“Good idea.”

There was an awkward pause, which her mom was quick to fill. “I’m Rachel Anderson. I take it you and my daughter know each other?” She shot Lindy a glance filled with curiosity.

Oh, no, Mom. Not you too.

“He’s one of the pediatric surgeons here at the hospital.” The words came out a little gruffer than she’d meant for them to.

Zeke held out his hand and introduced himself, making her realize that she should have at least told her mom his name. But the momentary awareness she’d felt a few minutes ago had left her flustered, and Lindy didn’t like it. She’d been flustered by Luke as well and look how that had turned out.

“Why don’t you join us?” her mom said as Lindy just stood there, staring at him. Damn. Soon Zeke was going to think he’d been right when he’d said she seemed distracted. She was. And this time it wasn’t by thoughts of her daughter.

It was by the surgeon himself.

“That’s up to Lindy.”

What? Why was it up to her? She did not want to cast the deciding vote. “It’s fine with me.” She shifted Daisy a little higher on her hip, keeping her close. But thankfully Zeke hadn’t shown much interest in her daughter. And Lindy would rather keep it that way.

They somehow made it through the line, although she no longer felt like eating. And it wasn’t due to the quality of the food on offer in front of them. She tried to take one of the two trays her mom was wrestling with, only to have Zeke take it instead. “I’m not eating much, so I’ll put mine on your tray, if that’s okay.”

Great. She guessed it didn’t matter since she’d already said he could join them. “It’s fine. No surgeries this afternoon?”

“I had one in the middle of the night and ended up staying. As soon as I eat, I’m heading home to crash.”

A surgery in the middle of the night was never a good thing. “Was it bad?”

He nodded, a muscle in his jaw tight. “Very bad. A teenager hung herself.”

“Oh, God.” Her mom was thankfully ahead of them, since her lungs had suddenly seized as remembered sensations washed over her. The cramping of muscles starved of oxygen. The blackening of her vision. The realization that if she passed out, it was all over.

Somehow she got hold of herself and swallowed several times to rid herself of the memories. She cleared her throat, somehow needing to ask the question. “Did she make it?”

“Yes. Her trachea suffered a partial separation, and we had to do a tracheotomy and then go in and repair the damage. But she’ll be fine physically. And hopefully she’ll get the emotional help for whatever caused her to do this.”

“How terrible.” Lindy had been fortunate that there’d been no permanent damage to her throat. Nothing to repair. Except her heart. And she was still dealing with some of the fallout from that. Like when Nancy had tapped her on the shoulder. Even after two years of freedom, she was sometimes easily startled. And she tended to walk on eggshells around people, afraid of making someone angry, even though she knew that fear was irrational. But, like her therapist had said, it would take time.

Lindy picked out an egg salad sandwich and a small cup of fruit, while her mom put Daisy’s picks on her own tray. And, yes, there was a cheeseburger. That made her smile.

She still had her daughter. There’d been no custody battles. No lengthy court cases. There’d been no need for anything, other than a coffin, in the end. Daisy would never know her father. But she couldn’t help but think that was for the best.

A minute or two later they were seated at one of the small tables. Zeke yawned and downed a healthy portion of his coffee.

“Sorry. I’ll try not to fall asleep on you.”

A pang of compassion went through her. Anyone who saw medicine as a glamorous profession hadn’t seen the toll it took on those in the field. Zeke had probably been uprooted from his bed to come in and do the surgery. And then he’d probably gone on rounds this morning and dealt with his own caseload of patients. “Were you scheduled for today?”

“Yes. But I wasn’t slated to come in until seven.”

“And your surgery was when?”

“Two.”

“You have to be exhausted. Are you off tomorrow?” She wasn’t sure why she cared. Plenty of healthcare professionals went through the same thing on a daily basis. But she could see the tired lines bracketing his mouth and eyes. Maybe that’s what had made his earlier frown seem so fierce.

“Yes.”

Her mom laid Daisy’s food out on a napkin and put a straw in her cup of juice. “I remember the days when you pulled those kinds of hours before you got...” Her voice faded away.

Thankful her mother had caught herself. Lindy nodded and forced herself to smile. “I’m sure you pulled your share of all-nighters when I was a kid.”

“Of course. But that’s different from what you and Dr. Bruen do. And you were a pretty healthy child.”

As was Daisy, thank goodness.

“Call me Zeke, please.”

Lindy’s brows went up. So it wasn’t just the staff who were allowed to call him by his given name. That privilege evidently extended to their immediate relatives.

He took another gulp of his coffee, bloodshot eyes glancing at her for a second before moving over to Daisy. Then they closed, and he pinched the bridge of his nose as if suddenly sporting a massive headache.

“You don’t have to stay here and keep us company. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” This time her smile wasn’t as difficult to find. “Besides, if you drink too much of that stuff you won’t be able to do anything but stare at the ceiling.”

“Said as if you’ve done exactly that.”

“I have. And it wasn’t fun.” It also wasn’t for the reasons he thought. It had been when her marriage had been at its lowest point, and she’d been worrying about Daisy’s future and the hard decision ahead of her. That choice had been taken out of her hands a day later.

At least Daisy would never have to decide whether or not she wanted to see her father in the future.

Zeke pushed his cup away. “I’ll take your word for it. And sleep sounds like heaven right now.” He stood. “I think I’ll try to do just that. Thanks for letting me join you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Daisy lifted her cheeseburger and waved it at him. “Bye-bye.”

He looked like he wasn’t sure what to do for a second, then he gave a half-smile. “Goodbye to you too. And nice meeting you, Mrs. Anderson.”

“Call me Rachel, since I’m calling you Zeke.”

“Okay. It was nice meeting you... Rachel.”

“You as well.”

Once he was gone, her mother looked at her. “The doctors here are a lot cuter than at your last hospital.”

“Mom!” It wasn’t like she hadn’t noticed how good looking Zeke was. The word hunk—of all things—wasn’t something she threw around every day. But the last thing she needed was to fantasize about the man.

Oh, Lord, no. You are not having fantasies. About anyone!

“Don’t you ‘Mom’ me. You can’t let one bad experience turn you off love forever.”

“It was a little more than a bad experience, don’t you think?” She worded it carefully. Even though Daisy didn’t know exactly what had happened, she might be able to understand more than Lindy thought.

“I know, but not all men are like Luke. Take your father, for example.”

“I know, but I’m not ready to date. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever want to again.” Even Mr. Hunk himself would have a hard time moving her off that mark. Even if he wanted to. Which he didn’t.

Her mom reached over to squeeze her hand. “I understand. Really, I do. When the time is right, you’ll change your mind.”

This time Lindy let it go. There was no use arguing over her decisions about dating. And as much as her mom said she understood, how could she possibly know what it had been like to live with someone like Luke? A good chunk of his life insurance policy had gone to pay off credit cards he had taken out in her name. Her discovery of those cards had been what had set him off that last time. It was no wonder she was now leery of relationships. And Daisy had to come first at this point in her life.

“If I change my mind, you’ll be one of the first to know.”

Rachel gave her daughter’s hand one last squeeze and then withdrew. “That’s my cue to change the subject. Are you getting used to living on your own?”

Lindy’s quaint little cottage wasn’t all that far from the hospital. It was within walking distance, which was nice. And it overlooked a nearby park, which was even nicer. She and Daisy had strolled through it on more than one occasion already. “I am. Thank you so much for helping me find the house. We’re making it a home, little by little, aren’t we, Daisy? She loves the princess stickers you got for her wall. We’ve already put them up.”

“Princess!” Daisy said the word in a loud voice.

“I saw them. She is my little princess, aren’t you?” Her mom tweaked Daisy’s nose.

The tyke repeated the word like a battle cry, stretching her arms out as if showing her grandmother just how much of a princess she was.

They laughed and suddenly Lindy was fiercely glad she’d decided to return to Savannah when she had. She was back among familiar landmarks and people she loved. It made the odd little pangs in her chest bearable.

She couldn’t change the past, but she could make the future something her daughter could look forward to without fear. And if she’d never met Luke, Daisy might not be here at all. Didn’t that make it worth it?

Worth it? Lindy hadn’t deserved what she’d gotten, but she did love her daughter more than life itself. And, yes, she was glad that at least something good had come out of their marriage.

“I guess I know what she might want to be for Halloween.”

Lindy’s chest swelled with love. Her mom hadn’t showered her with recriminations or accusations. She’d been truly glad that her daughter had come back. If she’d known how the marriage would turn out, she’d kept that declaration to herself. Both of her parents had. They loved Daisy like she did, unconditionally, insisting that they be the ones to provide childcare rather than Lindy finding a daycare center. And Daisy was thriving. Finally. She hadn’t noticed the pale fear in her baby’s eyes while she’d been in the situation, but now that they were out? Oh, yes, she could see nuances she’d never known were there. It made the guilt that much worse. She’d thought she’d protected Daisy from the worst parts of her marriage, and she had. But, even as an infant, had she been able to pick up on the subtle emotions Lindy thought she’d hidden?

She’d probably never know.

New beginnings.

No more staring in the rearview mirror. There was nothing back there she needed to see. She was supposed to be looking to the future.

And if her glance strayed to places it shouldn’t?

Like Zeke Bruen?

Yes. She could acknowledge that he’d caught her eye. But if she was smart, Lindy would make sure that was all he caught: her glance. Because a glance was temporary. A gaze, however...well, that carried a lot more permanence. And that was going to be reserved for Daisy and Daisy only.

No matter how difficult that might prove to be.

* * *

Zeke could see Lindy standing by the nurses’ station, staring at the patient board.

Lunch the other day had been a blur of exhaustion and depleted emotions. Suicide attempts were always difficult, but this was one life they’d saved.

For how long, though?

The kicker was that these teens thought they wanted to die. Zeke’s daughter, on the other hand, had wanted to live. Only she hadn’t gotten to choose.

He glanced at the board. Two of those up there were his patients. Lindy would be one of the surgical nurses. He’d asked for her and wasn’t sure why. He suspected some of it had to do with seeing the object of her clock-watching up close and personal. Small and full of smiles, Lindy’s daughter was a miniature version of her. Only Lindy’s smile seemed much more elusive than her child’s. And something Rachel had said stayed with him over the last couple of days. And he couldn’t even remember exactly what it had been. It was more her tone of voice.

He should turn around and walk away before he found himself caught up in something he wanted no part of. But to do so might make her think it was because of her. And she’d be right.

Better that he go over and talk to her as if she were any other member of the team. “Off to an early start?”

She whirled around, a hand pressed to her chest, face draining of all color. When she focused on him, she gave a nervous laugh and leaned back against the counter. “Oh, God, sorry. You startled me.”

Startled? That was the second time he’d seen her react like that.

“I didn’t mean to. Did you think I was the hospital administrator or something?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I was just lost in thought. Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people?”

“They did. I just wasn’t aware that I was sneaking.”

“No, of course you weren’t.” She sucked down a deep breath and blew it out. “Sorry. Anyway, did you catch up on your sleep?”

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d scared someone like that, and he was pretty sure that time it had been on purpose. But her explanation was reasonable.

“I did, thanks. Just checking in about the surgeries I have scheduled. You’ll be scrubbing in on both of them?” Since he’d put her name in as someone he wanted on those cases, the question was more rhetorical than anything.

Her glance went back to the board. “Ledbetter and Brewster? Yes. Anything I should know?”

“Ledbetter has had a reaction to anesthesia before, so they’re tweaking the ratios. Just wanted you to be aware in case we have to make a sudden shift in care.”

“Okay, got it. And Brewster?”

“We’re doing her first. Pneumothorax. Routine.”

Lindy gave a visible swallow and looked back up at the board. “She’s only five? Since when is a collapsed lung in a child that age considered routine?”

“When that child has been kicked by her father. And I worded that badly. It’s never routine.” Just saying the words made a jet of anger spurt through Zeke’s chest. What kind of monster hurt his own child? Or any child?

“That’s horrible.” Her voice came out as a whisper.

The boards listed names and ages and team members, but nothing more.

“I know. I thought maybe you’d looked at the charts.”

She reached behind her and gripped the edge of the desk. “I just got here. I was going to look at them once I figured out which cases I’d be working on.”

The hospital had code numbers for staffing the surgical suites, with the surgeons sometimes handpicking their crews, and other times it was the luck of the draw, depending on scheduling.

Zeke had asked for her, telling himself he wanted to see her in action now that he knew a little more about her. There were a few surgical nurses that he preferred not to work with, either because they were difficult or because they were slow to hand over instruments. Every surgeon had their own style and not everyone meshed with his. He knew he could sometimes be demanding.

Like confronting Lindy about being distracted that first time working together?

It had nothing to do with idle interest and everything to do with watching her work. She definitely had compassion, judging from her reaction to the patient with the collapsed lung.

“These kinds of cases are always difficult.”

“Yes. Yes, they are.”

The thread of resignation in her voice gave him pause. Maybe her other hospital saw more cases involving domestic violence than Mid Savannah did, although even one case was too many.

“We’ll get her patched up, and hopefully the system will do what it’s supposed to do and keep her out of that home. I think the dad is in jail right now.”

“As well he should be. And her mother?”

“She said she was at work when the incident happened.”

“The incident. That’s one way to put it.” Her tight voice spoke volumes. Then she sighed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. The wheels of justice just never seem to turn fast enough.”

“I didn’t think you were, and you’re right, they don’t. But those wheels can’t move on their own. There has to be that initial push.”

First she’d jumped when he’d come up behind her, now this. Was she just out of sorts today or was something else going on?

“Those situations are just so hard. I actually volunteered at a center helping victims of domestic violence, so it’s just straying a bit too close to home.”

“That’s interesting. I sat in on a meeting of department heads a couple of weeks ago. The hospital has discussed putting together a center for victims of domestic violence or abuse. They already have a grant from a private donor, but they need someone to jump start things. So far no one has stepped up to volunteer.”

Lindy’s head came up. “Really? I would love to be involved.”

“Are you still volunteering somewhere?”

“Not at the moment. I took a leave of absence so I could focus on this job. I thought once I got established I could go back at some point.”

An alarm sounded in one of the rooms and a light flashed in the panel of monitors behind her. She glanced back.

“Go,” he said. “I’ll see you in surgery as soon as our patient is prepped. If you’re serious about helping out with the center, let the administrator know. I’m sure they could use someone who already knows the ropes.”

“Thanks. I might just do that.” With that, she walked away, headed for the nearby room, leaving Zeke with more questions than answers. He was usually pretty adept at figuring people out after talking with them a time or two. But she was proving to be an enigma.

There was part of him, though, that wondered if he wasn’t missing something obvious.

Like what?

He had no idea. And he was definitely not going to start asking her a bunch of questions. He barely knew her. Maybe he should drop in on the hospital administrator himself and let the cat out of the bag about her experience. Not everyone could stomach what went on behind closed doors. The fact that she could...

How did one decide to volunteer for something like that? Especially if you had no first-hand knowledge?

Something kicked up in the back of his head. Lindy had never mentioned a husband.

So? That meant nothing.

Or did it?

Back at the cafeteria it had been Daisy and her mother with no mention of anyone else being involved in her life.

Again, it might not be significant.

And if it was?

Then helping with the program might be the best thing that Lindy could do. Not only for the hospital’s sake. But if the weird feelings he had going on were true, then it might do Lindy some good as well.