Читать книгу The Surgeon's Surprise Baby - Tina Beckett - Страница 12

PEGGY SLIPPED OUT of the room as soon as the greetings were exchanged. She promised to be back in an hour.

A prearranged signal to keep Elyse from enduring his company?

His gut tightened in anger, even as his eyes soaked in the sight of his daughter. Now that the shock was wearing off, he could finally look beyond his own emotions and see Anna for who she was.

Unlike her mamma’s silky blond locks, which had always driven him to distraction, the baby’s hair was black and thick and stuck up around her head at odd angles that made him smile. A red satin bow gathered one of the bunches onto the very top of her head, where it did a tiny loop-the-loop. As dark as her hair was, her skin was Elyse’s through and through. It was as pale as the sand on the beaches of Sardinia. When she grew up, she’d probably blush just like her mamma too.

Cieli, he’d loved the way Elyse’s cheeks had bloomed to life when he’d whispered to her at night. Realizing his gaze had moved from the baby to the green eyes of the woman holding her, he gave a half smile when color swooped into her face. Right on cue. Some things never changed.

And neither did his reaction to them.

Elyse cleared her throat and looked away, jiggling the baby in her arms. “So her full name is Annalisa Marie.”

Maybe coming back to her hotel hadn’t been such a good idea after all. But he’d wanted this discussion to happen in a more private setting. He didn’t want Lorenzo or anyone walking in on them and asking questions before he had some answers.

“Marie. After your mother?”

Her attention turned back to him. “Yes.”

He liked the nod to a woman he had come to admire in the few times they’d met, but there was also the sense of lost time...lost opportunities. He hadn’t even been able to help choose his own child’s name. Hadn’t been there to see the first time she’d rolled over—if she had yet—and whatever other milestones four-month-olds normally achieved. “You gave her an Italian name.”

“It was only right. She’s half-Italian.” She smiled, although there was an uncertainty to it. Had she honestly thought he wouldn’t want his own child? Just because of some offhand comment he’d made? His reasons for saying it had had more to do with not scaring Elyse off—he hadn’t wanted her to think he was rushing her to deepen their relationship. He did want kids. Just hadn’t needed them right that second.

And now he had one. He was already in love, after only knowing her for an hour.

“Do you want to hold her?”

The question made him stop. Did he? His jaw tightened. Another thing he’d missed: holding her at birth.

He could worry about that later, though. Right now, he needed to concentrate on what was in front of him, not what was out of his control, as difficult as that might be.

And, yes, he wanted to hold her. He held out his arms and Elyse carefully placed their daughter in them. Looping an arm beneath her legs to support her, he held the baby against his chest, her baby scent tickling his nose. A sense of awe went through him.

He glanced at Elyse, who had taken a step back and stood watching them, arms wrapped tight around her midsection. There was a look on her face that he couldn’t decipher. Despite the bitterness and chaos of their breakup thirteen months ago, he and Elyse had at least done something right. They’d made this tiny creature. Murmuring to her in Italian, so her mamma wouldn’t understand, he turned and walked toward the hotel’s window and looked out over the city.

“You don’t know me yet, Annalisa, but I promise you will.” Was that even realistic? How long was Elyse planning to be in Italy? She’d said she had a little medical leave left but hadn’t specified how much.

When would she be back?

Bile washed up his throat when he thought of going months or a year between visits. But how could it be any different than that? Atlanta and Florence might as well be on separate planets.

He looked through the window at the city below. “This is part of your heritage, Anna. I want you to see Italy. To grow up speaking its language.” He was going to make that happen, somehow.

A sound behind him made him look back. Elyse had moved to the front door, as if ready to push him out of his daughter’s future before he’d even planted himself into her present. What he’d said was the truth, though. He was going to be a part of her life.

He could start by making sure they were all under the same roof for the duration of her stay. “You should come stay at the house, instead of at the hotel. I have some spare bedrooms. Your aunt will come as well, of course.”

“I don’t know.” She bit her lip. “It might be better if we stayed here at the hotel.”

“Why?”

He was already booked solid with appointments at the hospital for the next month. He couldn’t just blow them all off and take a vacation. Especially not a couple of the patients who were set to undergo treatment in the coming days.

He crossed the room. “You’ve had Annalisa to yourself for four months. I’d like you to be there when I get home. When I get up.”

Hell, was he talking about wanting Anna there? Or Elyse? He’d better make it clear. “I want as much time with her as possible. And there’s a kitchen and more room to spread out than you have here. It’ll make it easier on everyone.”

“I don’t...”

He shifted the baby into one arm, tilting Elyse’s face with the crook of his index finger. “Say yes. It would mean a lot to me.”

Something flickered through her green eyes before she said, “Are you sure? It’ll be for a whole month.”

A month. Said as if it were an eternity, when really it was only a millisecond. But at least now he knew how long he had with his baby. “A month is nothing.”

The weight of his daughter in his arms felt right. Good. He didn’t want to give that up. Not in a month. Not in a year. Not in a lifetime.

With her head still tilted, they stared at each other.

“Is it?” Her words came out breathy, lips still slightly parted.

Damn. His midsection tightened in warning. A warning he ignored, leaning closer even as she seemed to stretch up toward him.

Annalisa chose that moment to squirm, and fidget, giving a soft cry. The spell was broken, and he stepped back.

“Sorry,” she said. “She’s getting hungry.” The breathiness was gone, replaced by a wariness he didn’t like.

He handed the baby over, watching as Elyse went to the bed and sat, unbuttoning her blouse and helping the baby latch on.

The fact that she did it right in front of him made the tenseness in his chest release its hold.

He’d been her lover, for God’s sake. Why should he be surprised?

What did surprise him was that she’d come to Italy at all. Did she really care about him getting to know his daughter? Or was she simply assuaging any future guilt she might feel if Annalisa asked questions about who her father was?

Did it matter?

Yes, it did. Because her motivation behind this trip would set the tone for their future encounters. If she was just looking for the occasional photo op to show that she’d made the effort, she was going to be sorely disappointed. He wanted—no, he intended—to have an actual relationship with Anna. He would not be content with being the type of absentee father who did nothing more than send an occasional gift at birthdays or Christmas.

Adorable snuffling sounds came from the bed, where the baby still nursed. Suddenly he couldn’t bear to watch anymore, looking on from the outside.

“I’m going down to get a drink. Do you want anything?”

Elyse looked up, the slight smile that had been on her lips fading. “A water, if it’s not too much trouble?”

“No trouble at all.”

A few steps later, he was opening the door, tossing one last look over his shoulder as he exited. But not before his eyes met hers and he saw the one thing he’d never wanted to see in them: fear. What was she afraid of? That he might try to take Annalisa away from her? He would never do that. But he also wasn’t going to simply step back and pretend his child didn’t exist.

The elevator ride gave him the little bit of space and time he needed. It unclogged the lump in his throat and eased the ache in his chest. At least for the moment.

She’d agreed to come to the house. That was something. She hadn’t refused outright.

There was no sign of Peggy in the empty lobby where he asked for a coffee and Elyse’s water. It made sense. The Peggy he’d known in the States was kind and considerate. She might make it a point to stay away for more than an hour, if she thought they needed the time to work out stuff with the baby.

Luca had juggled some of his calendar, but he still had appointments this afternoon, so he wouldn’t be able to stay long as it was.

Dammit. He could just clear his calendar for the rest of the day—or a week, for that matter—but it wasn’t fair to the clinic’s patients. And even shuffling the cases to other neurophysiologists in the area would be a challenge. He was sure everyone else was just as slammed as he was. This was tourist season and a busy one for most of the doctors and clinicians in the city.

So what did he do?

All he could do. Make sure he used his time with Elyse and Annalisa wisely and hope that he could find a compromise that would suit all of them. She’d agreed to move into his house. They’d start with that.

* * *

Why had she agreed to stay at his home?

The expression on his face when he’d looked at her, that’s why. The raw emotions that had streamed through her. The way he’d gripped his daughter tightly as if afraid to let her go. None of that fit with the man who’d said with such confidence that he didn’t want children.

It was one of the million and one excuses she’d told herself every time she’d picked up the phone to call him and then set it back down again. She hadn’t been sure how Luca would react to the news that he’d fathered a daughter, which was why she’d finally decided to come to Italy and look him in the eye. If he’d shown any hint of horror or rejection at the news, Elyse would have been devastated. She would have turned back around and caught the first flight out of Italy to save her daughter the pain of having a father who didn’t want her.

But he hadn’t rejected her, had insisted he wanted to be a part of her life. The distance between Italy and her homeland was going to make that extremely hard.

If he were still in Atlanta, it would have been so much easier.

Would it have been?

It wasn’t like she’d could have hidden the weight gain from him. He’d have known. Plus the added stress of having him right there might have made an already difficult pregnancy worse.

And knowing Anna was going to be her only child?

None of this was easy, and having him stand there as she’d nursed had driven that point home. It was a relief to have him leave. It gave her enough time to finish up, since Annalisa was barely hanging on, her long dark lashes fluttering as she got sleepy.

Moving the baby to the crook of her arm, she quickly closed herself back up before lifting the baby to her chest and gently rubbing her back until she burped. And a good burp it was too. Elyse chuckled and got up to put the baby in the portable crib she’d brought on the flight with her.

Anna shifted in her sleep, raising small fists that slowly floated back down until they were at her sides.

Wow. She could stare at her daughter all day long. There were times she found herself forgetting what she was supposed to be doing because of it. Once she started back at the hospital, that would all change and life would become chaotic once again.

One month. That’s all she had left.

She didn’t want to think about how long it would be until Luca could see Anna again. Elyse would be able to follow the minuscule day-to-day developments of their daughter’s personality and physical growth.

He would miss out on so much.

But she didn’t know how to make it better.

Maybe he could move back to the States.

And do what? Her hospital’s neurology department was still operating on a skeleton crew and they weren’t looking to expand that area. But there were other hospitals and other clinics. Surely he could find a place at one of those, just like she’d thought he would do all those months ago.

Why would he, though? She’d been awestruck at the little bit of Florence she’d seen as she’d come in. The city was gorgeous, with true old-world charm that couldn’t be matched. The Florence Cathedral and its domed roof was one of the most beautiful buildings she’d seen in her life. She needed to make a point to get a closer look at it. Then there was the Pitti Palace and so many other historic sites that she wanted to explore. Maybe while Luca was at the hospital, working, she, Peg and the baby could do some sightseeing.

After seeing where he came from, she couldn’t imagine him wanting to move back to Atlanta. But maybe the baby would change that.

Did she want it to? It was hard seeing him again. The punch to her senses had been just as jolting as the first time she’d laid eyes on him. And when he’d tipped up her face... God. For a second, she had been sure he was going to kiss her. Had wanted him to so badly.

How much worse would that be if they lived a half-hour apart? Or maybe even closer than that? Or saw each other every day? She was obviously not as over him as she’d thought.

There was a quiet knock at the door and then Luca came in, holding a coffee in one hand and a water in the other. Suddenly she was wishing she’d asked for one of those instead of the water. “Thank you,” she said as she took the bottle, her eyes still on his cup.

He must have noticed her wistful gaze because he said, “Did you want coffee?”

“No. It’s okay. I’ll just have water.” She uncapped her bottle and took a quick slug, the cold liquid making her stomach clench as it hit. She couldn’t repress the slight grimace. She drank water because it was good for her, but it had never been her favorite beverage.

“Are you sure you don’t want some? It has milk. Just like you like.”

Something about that sent a rush of moisture to her eyes. She wasn’t even sure why. He’d given her coffee in his office too. It had to be the stress of the trip and everything that went with it. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “Could I? Just a sip.”

“You’re the one who introduced me to milk in my coffee.” He smiled and handed her the cup, the heat of it in her hands a welcome change from the incessant blowing of the air conditioner. She took a tiny sip.

Oh! That was good. Rich and dark and full of flavor. She took a second sip and then a third before finally forcing herself to hand the cup back.

“Are you sure you don’t want more?”

“Positive. But that was delicious.”

He smiled. “Italian. Hard to beat.”

Yes, it was. And not just the coffee. She’d missed him. Missed the good times. The lovemaking. The laughter. But she didn’t miss what had come toward the end. That huge fight during the meeting about the patient’s diagnosis had caused a major rift between them. Add that to her growing uneasiness about their relationship, her fear that she would repeat the mistakes she’d made with Kyle. And then the final blow of the downsizing. She hadn’t even been able to warn Luca about it before it happened due to that same fear of showing him preferential treatment.

It was easier with him gone. She kept telling herself that, even though easier didn’t necessarily mean better. It was just less complicated.

Less complicated? Was she kidding? They had a baby now. She shook that thought away, washing the coffee down with another sip of water, as if that would take care of the predicament she found herself in. If she’d had an abortion she wouldn’t be here right now.

And yet... Her eyes went to the baby’s crib. There’s no way she’d give any of this up, even if she could.

“Remind me to buy some Italian roast coffee before I go back to the States.”

“It won’t be the same as drinking it here.”

No, it wouldn’t. Life itself wasn’t the same since he’d left. But he’d made it pretty obvious back then that he wasn’t interested in working things out.

Maybe they’d been similar in all the wrong ways. They were both neurologists, even if their respective specialties had subtle differences to them. Elyse treated patients, and while Luca dealt with patients as well, his side was more involved in testing, interpreting and diagnosing. But the two subspecialties overlapped. A lot. And there had been times she’d been certain of a diagnosis and had spoken her mind. Luca had never challenged her.

Until that one difficult case, when he’d done so during a staff meeting. If he’d been a nurse, a tech, or even another doctor, it might have been a nonissue. She could have listened and then made a decision based on the evidence at hand. That would have been that. But because it was Luca, she’d found herself wanting to defer to him. Not because she thought he was necessarily right but because of their relationship. And she knew herself well enough to know it would happen again. Why? Because she’d been there once before with Kyle.

If she and Luca had worked at different hospitals, those murky situations wouldn’t have arisen in the first place. They could have...

She sighed, cutting herself off. All the might-haves in the world wouldn’t change the reality of what was. Or the fact that he’d clearly found it easy to leave Atlanta—and her—behind.

Luca sat in one of the two club chairs in the room, backed by a wall that was thickly textured, like those in many of the buildings she’d seen. Elyse perched on the edge of one of the two beds. Thank goodness the maid service had already been and tidied up. It might have made an already awkward situation even more unbearable.

Elyse decided to tackle the elephant in the room. “So where do we go from here, Luca?”

“I don’t know.” He glanced at the crib, where the baby was currently sleeping. “Right now, I’m wishing I had more than a month with her.”

“I know. I wish you did too. But my maternity leave is going to end. I don’t see how I can extend it.” She didn’t add that she hadn’t been sure of his reaction.

The fact that he was sitting here saying he wanted more time with Anna created an entirely different problem.

She went on. “If you have any ideas—other than my leaving her behind—I’m open to suggestions.” She hadn’t meant it as a jab at the past, but the quick tightening of his lips said he’d taken it as one.

“I would never ask you to leave her.”

“I know that.”

His elbows landed on his knees, hands dangling between his strong thighs. Thighs that she’d once...

Nope. No going down that path, Elyse. That’s what had gotten her in trouble in the first place.

Luca had captured her attention from the moment he’d walked onto her floor at the hospital. Only she had just gotten out of a difficult relationship with Kyle a year earlier and hadn’t been anxious to repeat the experience. She’d resisted going out with him, feeling proud of herself, until he’d walked out of that surgical suite that day looking like a beaten man. He’d touched her heart, and the rest was history. She’d told herself the attraction would eventually burn itself out. It hadn’t.

Even now, she knew she still wanted him.

He looked up. “I think we’re overlooking the obvious solution.”

Her heart leaped in her chest. Was he saying he wanted to get back together?

And if he did?

She swallowed. He lived here, and she lived in Atlanta. Besides, the damage had been done. He’d never forgive her for firing him. He’d made that pretty clear when he’d left.

“I guess I’m still overlooking it, because I don’t see an obvious solution at all.”

“We could get married.”

Her mouth, which had been open to make a completely different suggestion, snapped shut again. Surely she hadn’t heard him correctly?

“I’m sorry?” Maybe he was saying he wanted to get back together. But marriage? Um, no. Not a possibility.

She hurried to send the conversation in a completely different direction. “Maybe you could just move back to the States? We could work out an agreement for visitation.”

Why had she said that? Maybe because that was the only obvious thing her brain could catch hold of. They could work at different hospitals and be aloofly friendly. Like those famous divorced couples who managed to get along for the sake of their kids.

“That’s not quite what I had in mind.”

“I can’t marry you. We don’t even like each other anymore.” She forced out the words, even though they were a lie. She did like him. A little too much, in fact.

“You can’t marry me? Or you won’t?” Luca got up from his chair and went over to stand by the crib. He leaned over, fingers sliding over the baby’s forehead, pushing back some dark locks of hair. Then he twirled the tiny ponytail in a way that made her stomach clench. Watching him with their baby girl set up an ache she couldn’t banish.

It wasn’t something she was likely to see every day as Annalisa grew up. But she couldn’t marry him. Aside from the fact that he didn’t love her—he’d as much as said so by not challenging her comment that they didn’t even like each other—she couldn’t have any more children. She had barely had time to grieve over that fact herself, much less tell anyone else.

Lord, she shouldn’t have come here.

“Both. Getting married just because of Anna would be wrong. And not fair to either of us.”

He turned to face her with a frown. “Is there someone else?”

“What? No, of course not.” She gave a nervous laugh. “I’ve just had a baby. There’s no time for romance.”

“But there would be if the timing were better?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Well, I can’t move back to the States right now. Not with my caseload.”

Disappointment winged through her even though she knew he was right. He couldn’t just pick up and leave at a moment’s notice. “It was just a suggestion.”

He looked up, his gaze holding hers in a way that made her swallow. “You’re currently on maternity leave. No patients or boyfriends waiting in the wings, right?”

Something began unfurling inside of her. Something she hadn’t thought about. Something she hadn’t even wanted to think about. Was he going to ask her to marry him again? If so, would she be able to resist?

“No, but the no-patients thing is only for a month, and then I have to be back.”

“What if you didn’t?”

“Sorry?”

“What if you didn’t go? Instead of me moving to the States, what if you stayed here—in Italy—instead?”