Читать книгу New York City Docs - Tina Beckett, Amalie Berlin - Страница 15

“SO YOU’RE GOING for a fellowship in Mohs?”

They were sitting in a small restaurant around the corner from the hospital two hours after completing the surgery on Mr. Phillips. Tessa had ordered some scans to make sure the tumor had not metastasized past the site on his leg.

She’d acted strangely at the end of the surgery, though, and Clay had wondered if she was going to back out of dinner. And maybe she should have. Or he should have. It didn’t feel half-bad, sitting across from her. Some of the bitterness and resentment he’d had toward her seemed to have leached away over the years.

“Yes, I was planning on applying in the fall, hoping to get an early start.”

The waiter interrupted, bringing their wine and taking their orders. When he left again, Clay leaned forward. “I know Dr. Wesley, head of Oncology. We’re friends, actually. I could put in a good word for you.”

There was silence at the table for about five seconds. Then Tessa’s face turned pink. But it wasn’t the soft color that had infused her skin in the operating room, filling him with a heat that had threatened to make itself known to everyone in the vicinity. No, this was a very different kind of red.

She was angry. At least he thought she was.

“Do you think I can’t get the fellowship on my own?”

What the hell?

“I just thought since I knew Josiah, I could—”

“Take care of it for me. Help me out.”

“Is there a problem with one doctor helping another?”

It was what doctors did all the time. Part of the politics of a hospital, whether he liked it or not. There were a lot more residents than there were fellowship slots. Most people he knew would welcome anything that gave them an edge.

“I don’t need any favors, Clay. Or gifts. Or scholarships. Not anymore.”

The soft words were said with such quiet conviction that they took him aback. They’d had many arguments about his gift-giving over the course of their relationship, but had their problems extended even further than what he’d thought? “Are you talking about my parents? Was that what our breakup was about… them helping you with a few expenses?”

And there it was. The bitterness he’d felt standing in front of the door of her dorm room was back with a vengeance. He should have known they couldn’t have a meal together without getting into some kind of argument. The woman had a chip on her shoulder the size of Mount Everest.

“A few expenses? Meu Deus! It was more like my whole education.” Her voice rose enough that a couple of people at nearby tables glanced their way. She closed her eyes, her chest rising and falling as she took a deep breath and let it out. “Look at it from my perspective. I thought I had earned that scholarship. I worked hard in college and applied for every financial aid opportunity under the sun. And then to find out that my scholarship had nothing to do with merit or anything else I’d done…”

His stomach tightened. “Why didn’t you say anything while we were together?”

“Because I didn’t know where the money came from. Not until the day of my graduation.” She toyed with her fork, eyes not meeting his.

“You didn’t know until…”

Everything fell into place in an instant: why she’d thrown their relationship away with a haughty look of disdain, why she hadn’t wanted to talk about anything.

But it was only money.

“No, and you went out with me and never said a single word about it the whole time we were together.” Her eyes did come up this time. “I felt so humiliated. My rich boyfriend’s parents paid my way through one of the best medical schools in the country. Only no one saw fit to tell me.”

When she put it that way, he could see why she’d been so upset that day. But his parents had certainly felt as if she’d deserved the scholarship—had seen it as an investment in the future. Yes, they had a soft spot for Tessa’s folks—they were good friends, in fact—but they weren’t the kind of people who threw money at a cause they didn’t believe was worthy. They’d expected Clay to work just as hard as they did. And Tessa had made stellar grades. Better than his, even.

His anger faded. He reached across the table, touching her face. “My parents may have paid the tuition, but you’re the one who earned that degree, Tess, not them. I know how many hours you put in studying. And if their scholarship hadn’t paid your way, any other awards agency would have been happy to step up to fill in any gaps. Is it so terrible that it was my mom and dad who happened to set it up?”

Her gaze held his for a long second. “I don’t know what to think. My parents didn’t know about it, either. Wouldn’t it have been easier if they had just told us about everything up front?”

“They probably thought your parents would refuse the money if they knew who it came from. They’re proud. Very much like a certain young doctor I know.” He took his hand away and sat back.

A small smile played about her lips. “I’m just a little proud.”

“Oh, Tessa, if that’s your definition of a little…” He sighed, then fixed her with a look. “You’re going to be a damn good doctor. You already are, in fact. I saw you operate on Mr. Phillips’s leg.”

He hesitated about saying the next thing that came to his mind, but went ahead. “Your mother would be proud of all you’ve accomplished. And I know your dad is. Mom says he talks nonstop about you.”

Tessa’s eyes turned soft and moist, the green glittering like meadow grass covered with dew.

“Thank you.” The words came out a shattered whisper. “My dad and I miss her more than words can say.”

Suddenly his focus slid lower. To the pink lips that had once parted beneath his own. He wanted to part them again… to use his mouth to chase away the pain and grief he heard in her voice.

As if she heard his thoughts, something simmered in the air between them. An electric current that seemed to draw them closer and closer.

If not for the fact that there was a table and plates between them, he might have leaned across and kissed her right then and there—to see if the experience was as heady as he remembered.

But there was a table… along with a whole lot of baggage. So he picked up his fork and speared one of the meatballs on his plate of spaghetti instead. Just because she’d confessed the reasons why she’d broken things off with him, there was no reason to think they could pick up where they left off.

They couldn’t.

Too much time had passed. He had a daughter and an ex-wife. He, more than anyone, should know when to leave well enough alone.

Tessa took a bite of her salad, her gaze now traveling around the room. Time to steer the conversation toward something a little more superficial.

“How is Marcos and everyone over at the studio?”

She smiled. “Still as ornery as ever. They’re excited about the exhibition.” She paused. “Which reminds me, I totally forgot to call him and ask which day would be best.”

“Better sooner than later. Molly saw a movie a few weeks ago about a kid who learns to do all kinds of fancy karate moves. She’s been going on about it nonstop. Capoeira isn’t karate, but I think it would seem like it to her.”

“I’m sure Marcos wouldn’t mind her coming in. I’ll try to ask him sometime tomorrow morning.” Tessa’s lips pursed for a second. “I’m sorry about your divorce.”

The shift back to personal subjects took him by surprise, hitting a little too close to home. “Long-term relationships don’t suit me, evidently.”

She laughed. “You and me both. Your daughter is beautiful, though, so something good came out of it.”

Yes, it had.

“She’s my life.”

Those simple words contained more truth than he’d handed to anyone in ages. They cut to the heart of who he was now, barreling past the flip replies that seemed to come far too easily these days.

He could only hope he and Lizza had spared Molly most of the ugliness that had gone along with their breakup. Those last few months hadn’t been pleasant ones. Thankfully Molly had been too young to understand what the fights and arguments had been about back then—unlike now. He did his best, but he still got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever it was Lizza’s turn to have her for the weekend.

He wouldn’t put his daughter into a volatile situation like that marriage ever again. Remaining unattached was the best way to guarantee he didn’t. Which meant no kissing of spunky redheads was allowed. Unless it was a single night of summer madness that lasted no longer than that.

Now that he’d settled that he could lean back and enjoy himself.

They ate for the next fifteen minutes, the silence broken only by comments about the food and how good it was. The tension that had filled the operating room and their initial meeting seemed to have faded away. Instead, it felt more like those periods of quiet companionship they’d once shared.

Only this wasn’t four years ago. It was now. And where he’d once walked with confidence, he now needed to tread with care. For Molly’s sake.

And his own.

Tessa’s hand slid over his. “Hey. Thank you for understanding. About what happened all those years ago.”

Clay wasn’t sure he’d call it understanding in the sense that she meant it. Instead, maybe it was an acknowledgment that mistakes had been made on both their parts.

It wasn’t a new day exactly. But the warmth of her skin against his made him think about that single night of summer madness idea he’d had moments earlier. And how he might just like to experience a night like that.

Not smart, Clay.

That didn’t stop him from turning his hand so that his palm was facing up and catching her fingers in his.

And then, opening himself to what could be madness itself, he lifted her hand and kissed it.

Shock went through Tessa’s system at the firm press of his lips against her skin. Memories old and new swirled through her head and her eyes locked with his as he slowly lowered her hand back to the table. But he didn’t let go.

His plate was empty. So was hers.

“Do you want dessert, Tessa?”

She did. Only it was the forbidden kind that she’d enjoy for a little while and then regret the moment she swallowed the last little bite.

She shook her head, still unable to look away.

Not bothering to ask for the check, Clay released her long enough to throw a couple of bills on the table and then stood, hand outstretched.

Her tummy began to twist and turn, half in anticipation, half in fear of what she might say or do.

She gripped his fingers and let him haul her out of her seat in a way that felt like old times—when neither of them had been able to wait for what came next.

Only Tessa no longer knew what that was.

He towed her through the restaurant, nodding at the hostess, who wished them good-night. Then they were outside in the balmy New York air and her back was against the rough adobe finish of the restaurant.

With Clay standing in front of her. Inside her personal space.

He was so close, and when his thumb swept over the back of her hand she jumped.

“Scared?”

Yes. But she knew when to lie. “Not at all. Should I be?”

His fingers gripped even tighter and he gave a slow, knowing smile. “Absolutely.”

“Why is that?” Okay, now she was not only scared, she was dying for him to come a little closer, everything inside her coiling in readiness.

And desire.

Another couple went by them on their way to the front entrance of the restaurant, glancing quickly at them and then away again as if afraid of intruding on an intimate moment.

And they were.

Clay must have felt it, too, because he leaned next to her ear. “Exactly how soon do you need to be home, Tessa?”

Her stomach dropped to her feet. Was he asking if she had to be home, period? Because she had no idea what she was going to say if he asked her to spend the night with him.

Um… Okay, think this through for a minute.

He probably didn’t mean what she thought he did. It had to be something else. Something different, and she was being stupid and naive.

Except he was still stroking his thumb over her skin with featherlight sweeps that were driving her crazy. And his breath was still warm against the side of her face.

She bit her lip, struggling against the need to close her eyes and just go with the flow. If he did mean what she thought he meant… would she say yes?

Yes.

“I don’t have to be home right away. Why?”

How was that for prevaricating? She gave herself a high five for quick thinking.

“It’s a beautiful night. I thought we might start with a walk in the park.”

Start with?

Her stomach dropped a little lower. Central Park was one place they’d gone when they’d been dating. To either walk or study… or find a secluded spot.

They’d been kids back then, though.

So thirty-year-olds didn’t make out?

He doesn’t want to make out with you, Tessa. Get real!

“Do you go to the park a lot these days?”

“Sometimes. It’s a good place to clear my head after surgery.”

Had he gone there after she’d broken things off with him—walked around all by himself? Somehow that thought made her heart ache. But he’d never called again after that scene at her dorm, or even acted as if it had been a big shock.

They’d been fighting on and off for months before that. It had been inevitable that things would eventually come to a head. If he’d just heard the cry of her heart back then, maybe the end of the relationship wouldn’t have been so bitter. They could have parted as friends and gone their separate ways with nothing but fond memories of their time together.

But, of course, that’s not what had happened. And she couldn’t take back what she’d said to him, even if she wanted to. She still felt justified in breaking things off, in some ways.

She hadn’t wanted Clay’s gifts or to have him fix things or take care of her. She’d just wanted his love and respect. He’d never been able to understand that. And maybe he still didn’t, judging from his offer to put in a good word for her with Dr. Wesley.

Enough, Tessa. Let it go.

One thing she did want to do was go for that walk he’d suggested. Just to put to rest any animosity between them. Although she definitely wasn’t sensing any from his side right now.

So she gave his hand a quick squeeze. “The park sounds good.”

Twenty minutes later they were looking over the pond as a couple of runners glided past on silent feet. “I remember when I was a teenager,” Tessa said, “Mom told me to stay out of the park at night. Things sure have changed over the years.”

“My folks were the same way. In fact, I doubt my mother would come here after dark even now unless she had a police escort, and even then it’s iffy.” He gave a low chuckle. “I probably won’t admit I came here, even now.” Clay probably wouldn’t admit it to anyone, actually. Especially his mom, who’d been stunned by the abrupt end of their relationship, although Clay had broken it to her in a completely different way, telling her that the decision had been mutual. There’d been no reason to poison his folks’ attitude toward her, and at the time he’d had no idea that his parents’ scholarship had had anything to do with how Tessa saw him.

Evidently it had.

He was doubly glad he’d handled it the way he had with them. They’d be hurt. Devastated, actually, if they thought they’d had anything to do with her dumping him.

He wished she’d said something. Anything. Maybe they could have worked it out.

No, they couldn’t have. If not because of Tessa, because of him. He’d failed at two relationships. There was no reason to think he’d be successful at a third. He had Molly to think about should things get messy.

And they always got messy. Especially when there was lust pumping through his veins that was as strong as it had ever been.

A police officer came walking by, pausing to glance their way as if mentally assessing the situation. Clay nodded at him and the cop returned the gesture, continuing on his way.

“That’s why things are so much better,” she murmured. “And it’s been cleaned up. It’s beautiful here.”

It was, with the soft glow of the park lights gleaming off the water… and off Tessa’s hair.

Hell, part of the reason he’d suggested coming to the park had been to give himself a chance to think about what he was doing. Kissing her… or anything else was sheer madness.

Yes, it was. The madness of a single summer night.

The words whispered through his skull, a terrible litany that demanded to be heard. Demanded an answer.

Kiss her.

The urge he’d had at the restaurant was back. Stronger than ever.

As if sensing his thoughts, Tessa turned her face toward him, and her eyes widened. Damn. She always had been able to read him.

And since she could…

He moved a step closer, waiting to see if she’d back away from him. She didn’t. So his fingers went to her face, tracing across her right cheekbone, her skin warm and soft, just as it always used to be. He couldn’t remember feeling anything softer. Not even Lizza, who always had some kind of cream or ointment smeared over her skin.

Tessa’s felt… real. That was the only way he could think to describe it. Flesh and bone, and the softest, silkiest skin known to man.

“Hey.” Why he’d said that particular word, he had no idea, except it had always been a kind of signal between them. And it had almost always been followed by a meeting of their lips.

Right on cue, hers curved up at the edges. “Hey, yourself.”

That was all it took. His hand went to her nape and drew her closer. It wouldn’t be the first time people in the park had seen couples kissing—or more.

And as much as he wanted to just plaster his mouth over hers and grab at everything she’d let him take, he didn’t. Instead, he barely touched her. Just a gentle press and release. When her hands went to his shoulders, he repeated the move, his fingers sliding into the hair at the base of her skull as their lips met again. Parted.

As if protesting his teasing, her teeth nipped his bottom lip, sharp enough to sting.

Okay, honey, don’t say I didn’t try to resist…

This time, when his mouth met hers, all hesitation was gone, and he let her feel the frustration and desire he’d been fighting for the past week. Out it came, spilling over him in a torrent, making him crush her to him as he continued to deepen the kiss.

A quick wolf whistle by another passing jogger almost made him smile. Almost.

Still holding her, he edged her back a little way until they were behind a stand of landscaping that was just tall enough to give them a modicum of privacy. If the cop came back, he’d probably scowl at them and send them on their way.

Clay was willing to risk it. And more. He crowded her against a tree as his mouth again took possession of hers. Tessa made a small sound at the back of her throat, the hands that had been on his shoulders winding around his neck instead as if she needed to burrow closer. Her breasts flattened against his chest. He ached to reach up and cup them—to see if the weight in his palms was as perfect as it always had been. But he didn’t think Tessa wanted to risk a night in jail.

Although there’d been a time when neither of them would have cared. And they hadn’t—Tessa coaxing him into the lush greenery of the park and making a few of his deepest fantasies come true.

Just the memory made his flesh leap.

It had been so long.

And when her mouth pulled away from his, he muttered a curse beneath his breath, only to have her laugh and kiss her way up his jaw. “The problem with the park being safer is there are also more people.”

“I don’t remember that being a problem before.”

Her fingers floated down his chest, sliding over his nipples. He sucked in a quick breath.

She’d always been a daredevil at heart—not a hint of shrinking violet in her. Maybe it was the heated Brazilian blood flowing in her veins.

“Tess, I don’t think you want to do this.”

“Don’t I?”

Her hands slid around to the back of his waist and ducked beneath the band of his slacks. She pulled him just a little bit closer, until there was no doubt that she could feel what she did to him. Because it was right there, pulsing against her, wanting nothing more than to shove her clothes aside and take care of business right then and there.

Not a good idea. Not only because of the venue but because if he was going to have her, he damn well wanted it to last more than a few seconds. He wanted to see every last inch of her, feel every secret dip and swell and run his tongue along all those soft curves.

He pulled back, gritting his teeth at the whimper of protest that tempted him to give in and start all over again.

“No,” he muttered, his voice coming out rough and dark, even to his own ears. “Not here.”

Green eyes blinked up at him. “What?”

Holding her back so he could fully see her face, he gave her a smile that held every lusty imagining he’d ever entertained about her.

“I don’t want a quickie in the park. And I damn well don’t want it on a night when you have to get up at the crack of dawn.” He leaned in until his lips were against her ear, breathing in her scent and letting it slide back out. “It’s going to happen at my place, Tessa. And I’m going to keep you there all night long.”