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Tony Jeton Selimi
The Unfakeable Code®
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Introduction –
What is The Unfakeable Code®? “What limits your freedom is what you think you know that isn’t true.” – Tony J. Selimi Are you an Unfakeable individual? Or would you rather be a copy? Today, many of us buy into the myth that wearing a mask is better than being authentic, that only certain people can succeed, and that to change your life, you have to develop positive psychology. This unhealthy way of thinking is encouraged even more now given how uncertain people and the world of business are. If you’re already someone who subscribes to a “biased thinking” way of thinking, then this book is going to shake things up for you. The notion of being an authentic individual will become clearer throughout this inspired book comprising five mind-upgrading, life-enhancing, and business-transforming principles that are interrelated and interdependent. You will be taken on a self-awareness journey of the role your transient identities, the self-deceptive masked persona you show to the world, the unbiased processing of information, appropriate transparency, objectivity and concordance among behaviour, intuition and values play in how free, successful, and fulfilled you become in life. Each of the five principles and their associated ideas, which are fully explained in every chapter of this book may just irreversibly disrupt your most deeply held beliefs about you, your work, your success, and, indeed, your life. The exercises presented will help you comprise authenticity in every critical area of life. You will develop a depth of understanding about your mind, or as psychologists like to say, context, and about how adopting the strategies shared, you can successfully upgrade your mind’s code as often as you update your apps on your smartphone. There is some work that, being authentic you would prefer not to do but, yes, you do it because you are true to your values and live them every moment, naturally. You have to roll up your sleeves and do whatever must be done as well as you can. You may be wondering daily who you are, what are you here to do, and why you behave the way you do. Perhaps, after you’ve taken a selfie, that you shared on your Instagram, put on that Dolce Gabbana suit, your favourite Chanel dress, or covered yourself with makeup, you might stare at yourself in the mirror, contemplating who your authentic self truly is. You may ponder, over what is it that makes you put on a mask, be dishonest with others, and feel like you have no control over your emotional reaction to external events. You may ponder over what makes your deceptive nature so powerful that you end up being a slave to your egotistical, sceptical and selfish character. Incredulous? Perhaps yes, and maybe not. I invite you to entertain the possibility that the part of you that is Unfakeable is there to daily nudge you to wake up, and to help you correct your course in life. In other words, do you think your current view of who you are is large enough to allow for subtle, intuitive, extraordinary or unusual experiences? Or does your self-deceptive persona discount them automatically? Since I can remember, I was always curious about life. Who or what created all the animals, us, and where in the universe we come from? From a very young age, my parents taught me fair-minded values that, to date, have played a crucial role in my ever-evolving life. They also instilled in me the importance that education, integrity, and service to others play in bettering our lives, the society we live in, and the world in general. As I started to form my own opinions about life, which sometimes contradicted those of my parents, the culture and the society I lived in, I needed to come up with a way to express myself authentically, without fear of judgement, ridicule and shame. I needed to be able to write letters containing secret messages to friends that only I and the intended recipient could understand. So, I came up with a few secret codes to keep the information hidden so neither my parent’s nor my friend’s parents could understand. For instance, I would replace the letters of a word with numbers or symbols, following a particular set of rules. For my friend on the other end to understand the message, he or she would need to know the code and apply the same set of rules, in reverse, to figure out what I had written. The penny about how our ability to code and decode messages is part of our makeup dropped for me in high school when, in one of my biology classes, we started to learn about our genetic code. The set of rules by which information encoded in our genetic material (DNA or RNA sequences) is translated into proteins (amino acid sequences) by living cells. I realised then how decoding messages is also an essential step in gene expression and the process in which information from a gene is used to construct a protein (or other functional products). As it turns out, the way our brain processes information is no different, in fact, in many ways, it does the same thing. To make sense of the billions of pieces of information it receives through our five senses from our inner and outer world, it needs to filter, classify, delete, code, and decode data. Each chapter is written in such a way for you to take a closer look at how, just like your genes, your way of expressing and processing data in your brain is unique.; and how, by using The Unfakeable Code’s five mind upgrading principles, you can transcend old models of thinking, question the gibberish rules, and rewire your models of reality so that you can consciously create the freedom and the life that you want, upgrade your psychology, re-examine your values, beliefs, actions and behaviours, and be more of the authentic, unfakeable individual you were born to be. Why? – because the vast majority of your mind’s code is encoded with the same system as your parents and the environment in which you were born. I often refer to it as the canonical mind code, or merely the inherited general code. Forgetting that your brain can create and run many variant codes; it is why I know that the more you apply what you will be learning throughout this book, the more growth you’ll experience. What those principles can help you achieve is unique to you. Why? – because there is no one else in the world who thinks the way you think, you are authentic. So is your mind’s programming, the code it runs and the hierarchy of your values that drives your attitudes, behaviours, choices, and decisions can either break or make you. Just the way researchers needed to figure out how to crack the genetic code, it’s up to you to invest the time to read, re-read, and keep applying the principles shared daily in every chapter to create, break, and upgrade your mind’s code. Why this is a big problem for you? Because you are born with the ability to do both evil and good; what you choose when war rages inside or outside you is what defines who you become; and, in one of the most straightforward potential mind’s codes, each belief, thought, and value you have injected into your persona might correspond to one dis-empowered action, toxic behaviour, and wrong decision that could ruin your business, personal or professional life. Remember, a healthy mind leads to a healthy body and an inspired destiny. If you want to take back control, be more confident, and more satisfied you need a mind code that breaks the cycle of the fearful, not good enough, controlling, weak and scarcity persona that may be running your life. However, upgrading your psychology cannot work unless you are consistent, committed, and persistent. The reason for that is because you will never be at peace with others if you are at war with yourself. You may or may not know that the average person has about 12,000 to 70,000 thoughts per day. And, of those, 80% are negative, and 95% are the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. Thus, the installing of your unfakeable code into your mind involves something more complicated than a one-to-one matching of beliefs, emotions, thoughts and values, and so does the cracking of it. The idea to create The Unfakeable Code® started in my early teenage years when my father bought me my first computer, the ZX-Spectrum. I was fascinated by it. What made it even more exciting was the fact that no one in Gostivar, the town in the Northern Republic of Macedonia that I grew up in, in the early ’80s knew anything about computers. I was the cool kid who could pull electronic equipment apart, put it back together, and program my computer to perform essential mathematical functions. I became a master at being able to write various codes and even write a program to display limited graphics. The year after, my father got me my Commodore 64, and as soon as the Commodore 128 came out, he ensured I had that one too. I was fascinated to learn the Basic, Fortran, Pascal and Cobol computer languages. I enjoyed playing video games that came pre-recorded on cassettes and I even created my own version of the famous game PAC-MAN. Knowing that Rade Jovčevski Korčagin was the top maths and science high school in what was then the Socialist Republic of Macedonia, I convinced my parents to send me there to study, despite the fact that the material and teaching was not in my native Albanian language. I spent the summer of 1984 perfecting my Macedonian language, and in late August, at the age of 14, I moved to Skopje, the capital city. I started to live alone, away from my family in a studio apartment that my parents had bought for my sister and I to pursue higher education. I was over the moon. From the kitchen windows you could see the busy Karposh boulevard, and I had an outside space where I put flowers that came from my parent’s garden. The flat was in one of the concrete architecture communist-era apartment blocks situated in the city zone called Karposh II, and about thirty minutes bus ride from my new high school. I felt freer than ever. We had an hour allocated weekly for computer studies wherein we learnt about how IBM computers were built, programmed and how they could be used personally or in business. At night, when all of the school teachers and students had gone home, I would bribe the cleaners with sweets to let me continue studying in the computer room until they had finished cleaning the whole school and were ready to go home. Four years passed by very quickly. By the time I graduated from high school, despite all the bullying that went on, I had mastered several programming languages, learnt how to troubleshoot computer problems, and developed more efficient codes and subroutines. It was during this time in my life that I started to draw parallels between machine and human brain programming and mind coding. It made me aware how I and everyone else around me communicated and functioned like computers; according to a set of instructions, principles, rules, beliefs and values injected by an external authority. For those of you who may not know, computer code or program code is the set of instructions forming a computer program which is executed by a computer. It is one of two components of the software which runs on computer hardware, the other being the data. Your brain has those two components, the hardware being the brain itself, and the software being everything the brain does with the data it has, and is continuously receiving, through the senses. During this time, I also spent most of my weekends in my parent’s garage, repairing TVs, radios and other electronic equipment that my friends and family would bring. Every time I fixed something, some of my life’s questions would be answered. I understood that computers, too, were built in our image, and as a reflection of our awareness of our actual being. I knew then, as I know now, that computers and technology, especially the development of more advanced synthetic intelligence, will amplify particular intellectual abilities of humankind; and the effects that this will have on society would far outstrip anything we had seen thus far. Just the way computers can only execute the machine code instructions that form part of their instruction set; your brain too can only run on the mind’s code instructions which are part of its instruction set. Because these instructions are too complicated for humans to read, and because writing good programs in machine code or other low-level programming languages is a time-consuming task, many programmers like myself learn to write in the source code of a high-level programming language. The reason this is so important to acknowledge is that your brain operates in the same way. Your mind’s program is built according to the environment you live in. That includes your family, the schools you attended, the friends you hang out with, and the social and economic situation you live under. Your brain uses old programming that was developed by others over a lifetime. However, most people’s mind’s programming was written at a low level of thinking. It is this low-level thinking code that was injected into your brain from a very young age that causes many people to lose control, feel afraid to make a change, and unwillingly sabotage their success in life. As a result, you may consciously or unconsciously believe and say to yourself or others things like ‘I can’t do this’. ‘I feel powerless’. ‘If I do this, what will my parents, partner, children, friends think of me’? ‘You must do as you told, otherwise God will punish you’. ‘Shame on you’. ‘I need to work hard to make it in life’. ‘I am nobody’. ‘Who am I kidding, if I have not made it in life so far there is no chance I can make it going forward’. ‘I am shy’. ‘I am not as good looking, smart and successful as the son or daughter of so and so’. ‘My time is up’. ‘The world is not safe’. ‘Life is always hard’. ‘People are too greedy’. ‘Money does not grow on trees’. ‘There are not enough resources in the world’. ‘Not enough clients’. ‘Not many jobs’, and the list goes on and on. Each time I faced a hardship, I would realise how damaging the outdated mind programs, codes and subroutines that had developed throughout my life were; especially in 2009, the year my job was made redundant. After being laid off, I spent a lot of time self-reflecting, studying the Law of Attraction, and gain deeper awareness on how unconscious low levels of thinking create most of the situations you and I want to avoid. The good news is, just like computers, you too can upgrade your mind’s program, and install a new mind source code that helps you process information and operate from much higher levels of awareness. Choosing to do this willingly, you can instruct your mind to execute decisions and perform tasks that will get you from where you are to where you genuinely want to be. In parallel to my career as a senior technologist, I invested a lot of money in continuous leadership, and professional, and business development training, to help me to be the best manager I could be. This desire to know how to upgrade people’s psychology most effectively led me to seek and be coached and mentored by some of the world’s best leading experts in the business, personal and professional development industry. To learn how these globally respected teachers developed their high level of thinking, I knew I had to be curious and have a high teachability index. Many of them shared how the secret to having the freedom that comes with being hugely influential and wealthy was in daily spending an hour or so to read books, develop new skills, and hire the best experts, coaches, and mentors. Every one of them, in their ways, instilled in me how by reading at least a couple of books a week, I will one day walk on the shoulders of the giants. The more I did that, the more my awareness developed in ways to make use of the power within, and the God-given wisdom of my body, mind, heart and soul. In this commitment to upgrade my psychology, find answers to life’s greatest mysteries, and travel the world to teach others to do the same, I became excellent at picking up the root cause of many of my client’s problems – which I discovered was low-level language and thinking. After a consultation session with Dr. Voice’s son, the former Sam Smiths vocal coach, he, like many other clients, started to call me The See-Through Coach. Each time I would hear his son use language such as ‘I can’t do this’, I would question him until he learned to reframe his thoughts and speak in more of high-level thinking such as ‘what is it I can do to make this happen.’ In computer programming, high-level languages made the process of developing a program more straightforward and more understandable, and less bound to the underlying hardware. Similarly, using high-level thinking and reframing from your language, on its own, will create visible attitude, energy, and confidence changes, which is something I am sure you are all capable of doing. Computer language Fortran, back in 1957 was the first widely used high-level language to have a functional implementation, and many other computer languages were soon developed. In particular, Cobol aimed at commercial data processing, and Lisp specialised in computer research. Through spending late nights at my high school I understood how upgrading your psychology is nothing more than the process of designing and building an executable mind program to accomplish a specific life result. You don’t have to spend thirty years to learn all that I have, that is why I am inspired to share that information with you, through every paragraph of The Unfakeable Code®; using simple, yet useful, practical ideas and mind upgrading principles so that you can use to live authentically and freely on your own terms. If you are a geek like me, it is most likely that you would have paid close attention to the timeline of the evolution of more sophisticated computer programming languages. You too may have realised how computer programming languages became better as more efficient codes are developed as a result of greater understanding of self, and the way our brain’s work. Similarly, your brain’s (central computer) language and the programming of it (the data) has evolved in parallel with the evolution of our understanding of life, scientific breakthroughs while equally embracing our material and spiritual selves. My lifelong quest to learn more efficient and effective ways to maximise human potential helped me to accrue the knowledge to create the scientifically proven principles you’ll be reading about that I now teach others globally, on how to use to solve business problems and address personal and professional challenges. It is sensible to re-read this book often and to use the many ideas and five principles shared in each chapter consistently; for they will help you to design efficient mind codes, build high-level of thinking, and execute crucial life and business decisions with clarity and certainty. You’ll be able to process information in ways that high-level thinkers do. By doing so, you too can thrive in all the critical areas of life. You become a trusted business, effective leader, and the authentic individual everyone wants to have in life. You also can go from living an ordinary life to celebrating your extraordinary achievements, whatever they may be for you. There is plenty of scientific evidence that proves how reading books improves your brains elasticity and efficiency. Thus, reading The Unfakeable Code® multiple times will have the same effect. It will help you to upgrade your psychology, embed the five authenticity awakening principles into your habits, and develop new mind codes that will help you to solve problems intelligently; and the better and faster you become at problem-solving, the more growth you’ll experience. Integrating all I am sharing in your daily life is what will help you to take back control of the direction your life is going in. The more in control you feel on the inside, the more consciously you create the reality you want to experience on the outside. The process of programming your mind often requires you to unlearn what you have learnt previously. You also need to input new information in your brain that will build knowledge in several different subjects of your calling. You must make sure you are consistently applying what you learn, for it is through repetition that you can create desired habits and instruct your brain to think, feel and do things differently. Responsibilities accompanying and related to programming your mind include formal education, learning a skill, reading books, playing an instrument, art, outdoor activities, attending business and life-enhancing training programs, etc. For those of you who want to achieve greater things in life, I highly recommend in investing in working with a life coach, a business mentor, or hire them to come into your company to develop yourself, your leader’s and your employee’s emotional intelligence and awareness. Promoting coaching as an empowering tool in your company as it can help you to build worker knowledge and infuse empowering values and habits. Life coaching can help you to develop a plan on how to change your low-level thoughts to high-level ones, and be more in control of your emotions and responses to inner and outer world stimuli. Not being your true authentic self can lead to all sorts of problems. The transient persona’s mask you show to the world will consistently attract issues in your life. To help you identify some of the difficulties you may experience in your life created by your transient personas, check out Picture 1. It contains the most significant transient persona pains my clients sought my advice for.
Consider every chapter of The Unfakeable Code® as part of the mind’s upgrading process that helps you to become aware of, dissolve and resolve any of the pains mentioned in the above picture. Use the principles you’ll be learning about intelligently; they have been proven to help you create the certainty, freedom, and fulfilment that your heart and soul is seeking. It is up to you to apply them daily to upgrade your thinking, develop conscious engineering techniques, and create best practices that will help you to enhance your mental and emotional faculties. At times, you may need to adopt reverse engineering, an opposite process of consciously engineering your mind’s programming so that you can refine your mind’s code as your life’s wants and needs evolve. If you let it, each page content will also teach you how to be your own mind’s hacker. And, who you become as a result of hacking your mind is a choice only you can make. It’s an undeniable scientific fact that your brain is programmable. Therefore, whatever program your mind may be running in any given moment; it contains relevant and outdated codes that developed through direct experiences and centuries of evolution. So your mind’s information, computing power and the memories you have grown to date, started in your mother’s womb. Some psychologists who have had a significant influence on elevating my thinking include Professor Robert B. Cialdini, whose 1984 book ‘Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion’ helped me to understand how persuasion can help me transform my life. Dale Carnegie’s book ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ also assisted me in getting out of my mental rut making my experiences more rewarding and prosperous. The British neuropsychologist Brenda Milner was regarded as the ‘founder of neuropsychology’ and the cognitive psychologist Gordon H. Bower was noted for his ‘research into memory and concept learning’. It was he who introduced the memory tool known to many life and business coaches as ‘chunking’; whereby objects are grouped together in an individual’s mind, to improve recall. Above all, the words of wisdom and teachings of the following world renowned teachers and leaders: Oprah, Michelle and Barack Obama, Jack Canfield, Brian Tracey, Wayne Dyer, Barbara Brennan, Loise Hay, Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Amit Goswami, Marianne Williamson, Rhonda Byrne, Warren Buffet, Robert Kiyosaki, Vishen Lakhiani, Daniel Priestly, Dr, Joe Dispenza, Steve Harrison, Nick Nanton, and Dr. John Demartini have had a profound impact in every critical area of my life. Each of them taught me something different about me, my blind spots, my capabilities, and they helped me to awaken my unfakeable sleeping giant. I used and applied all I had learned to help my clients create the same freedom, growth, and transformation I am now very grateful to have. It is what inspired me to give birth to the #1 internationally bestselling book, ‘A Path to Wisdom’. The learning and lessons that came from consulting businesses from all market sectors and coaching clients from all professions became the building blocks of the twenty-five conscious engineering principles of the TJSeMethod: ALARM® that I use globally, to empower and transform people’s eight critical areas of life. Publishing my first book, was a game-changer for me, my business, my clients, and for the millions of readers who read it. I spent half of that year travelling globally, to speak, consult and teach leaders and million-plus business owners about my five-day Vital Planning for Elevated Living Private Tuition Program, in exotic locations around the world. While spending a lot of time waiting for connecting flights, I noticed how lonely we humans have become. Very few people would say hello, strike-up a random conversation, or even look at you. The majority of people were looking down at their phones or laptops. I noticed the same behaviour in hotels, the London underground, and in the restaurants, I would dine at. Daily, I would make sure I called my mother to check on her, as after my father passed away on 25 November 2006, she lived alone most of her time, due to the troubles she was forced to go through, to visit all of us who lived and worked in six different European countries. The void she felt after Dad passed away, the loneliness I observed in the businesses I was asked to coach, and in the places I travelled to is what inspired me to write my next multi-award winning book, ‘#Loneliness – The Virus of The Modern Age’. In every page, I offered immunisation against the icy touch of loneliness, social isolation, and being so technologically connected, yet disconnected from what matters the most – our human contact, and our loving hearts. In striving to provide more solutions to problems no human being can escape, I felt called to write a chapter in ‘Fit for Purpose Leadership #3’ book. Co-authored with other experts in the leadership field, the #1 Amazon bestselling book is making waves in the leadership arena. I wrote a chapter to bring about awareness about the toxic effect that burnout, pressure, and stress has on leaders’ and employee’s mental wellbeing. The clearer I became about the many effects low-level thinking had on every crucial area of life, the more I wanted to write about the important role that authenticity plays in improving our businesses and our personal and professional lives. I used the ‘Stay home, Save the NHS, Save Lives’ government-imposed restrictions to tackle the global Coronavirus pandemic, and to write The Unfakeable Code® with a mission to share principles for leading with authenticity and living freely on your own terms. While the deceptive strategies that your transient personas show to the world may look different in every chapter, the knowledge of the power that your unfakeable individual possesses remains constant. Throughout history, every scholar, psychologist, scientist, philanthropist and philosopher developed knowledge, tools, and codes that allowed changes and corrections to be made to our mind’s programming. Whatever the approach to developing and upgrading your psychology and mind’s codes may be, it needs to satisfy some fundamental rules. With my ‘healer, gig and human behaviour specialist’ hat on, that I embedded into every chapter of The Unfakeable Code®, the following five mind-upgrading, life-enhancing, and business-transforming principles are applicable: 1. To Unmask Yourself is to Know Thyself – Throughout your awakening life, you are taught to wear masks that conceal your authentic identity, masking the part of yourself that is unfakeable and limitless in its expression. To identify the self-deceptive persona’s mind bug that may be causing you a problem in a running a high-level thinking program requires you to debug your mind’s code. Mind debugging involves embracing traits you disown and taming the judge in you. Unmasking yourself is a vital task in the unfakeable code development process since disassociation and one-sidedness in your mind’s program can have significant consequences for you. Embracing your unfakeability is good for the overall health of your body, mind, heart and soul. In this chapter, you’ll come to understand how the transient masks you show to the world serve you until you are ready to face your unfakeable self, and show to the world all that you are and are not. 2. Stop Working to Survive, Wake-Up and Thrive – Your scarcity persona is causing you a problem in running a high-level thinking program. In this chapter, you’ll come to understand how it is your mind’s programming that stops you from having the job that you love, the business you can’t wait to wake up to in the morning or having that relationship where you feel loved and nurtured. What you input into your mind determines the output, what you think, and the meaning you create. To upgrade your systems for extraordinary living, you need trust, personal responsibility, and consistency in adopting healthy behaviours, habits and values that will get you to your desired destination. By changing your language, you can achieve a particular personal, professional or business outcome. Many of you stop thriving because you become people-pleasers. Implementing the five unique ways shared at the end of this chapter will help you identify what makes you take the required actions needed for you to thrive in every area of life. 3. Disarm Your Emotional Field to Build an Impenetrable Shield – To master your emotions is to learn how to use them intelligently. In doing so, you respond objectively to anticipated problems, life situations, and confrontations. Being in control of your reactions allows you to be more in control of your mental, emotional, physical, and financial wellbeing; and, how well you act in response to an external stimuli, determines how much you repel or attract abundance, opportunities and people, in your life. In this chapter, you’ll learn how having emotional mastery can help you turn crises into blessings, can tame the warrior of your emotive persona, and ultimately it can save your life. 4. Taking Back Control is an Inside Job – Letting the outside determine how you feel on the inside is what diminishes your genuine ability. In this chapter, you’ll learn how by knowing your impulsive persona’s behaviours, you can integrate your powerless persona into the authentic individual you know you are. Not letting your arguments convince you can help you to look within yourself to see what it is that needs healing. Use all of the five principles to go from doing to undoing, and to integrate your transient personas into being your unfakeable authentic individual. Develop a behaviour whereby, for every outer stimulus, you look within yourself for answers. The more you do this, the more you encourage your curiosity, creativity, and capability, in order to address what pains, you, lovingly. 5. Chose Love as Your Military Commander who Wins Every Battle in Life – Judgments of yourself and by others creates the resistance you feel between your mind, heart, and soul. Throughout this chapter, you’ll learn how to love the unlovable in you, and to practise more kindness along with care and freedom in your interactions with yourself and others. You get to know how to dismantle the protective mechanisms of your tough love persona, heal your inner child, and diffuse conflicts in all relationships. You increase the amount of love flowing through your system, which then plays a large part in finding true love, and in solving the business, personal, professional and collective conflicts of current events and future transitional times. At some point, you’ll have to face the consequences of your choices, and most likely you’ll lose everything you worked very hard to build. However, being honest in your endeavours wins the trust of the people who can get you anywhere you want. How carefully you manage your mind’s resources; for example, spring cleaning your mind’s one-sided psychology and memory leaks determines how trustworthy and free you can become. It also determines how well you manage the funds in your outer reality, and ultimately how much growth you can create. Use the above five-principles of The Unfakeable Code® to help you to adopt behaviours that are best suited for the vision you want to create for your life and any task at hand. Building a mental and emotional framework that acknowledges the importance of the interconnectedness of all life plays into the kind of experiences you create in life. When the above five principles of The Unfakeable Code® are applied in business, it signifies the following objectives:
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