Читать книгу A Carolina Psalter - Tony Scully - Страница 14

1 O God, rebuke me not in thine anger,Neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.2 Have mercy upon me, O God; for I am withered away:O God, heal me; for my bones are troubled.3 My soul also is sore troubled:And thou, O God, how long?4 Return, O God, deliver my soul:Save me for thy loving kindness’ sake.5 For in death there is no remembrance of thee:In Sheol who shall give thee thanks?6 I am weary with my groaning;Every night make I my bed to swim;I water my couch with my tears.7 Mine eye wasteth away because of grief;It waxeth old because of all mine adversaries.8 Depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity;For God hath heard the voice of my weeping.9 God hath heard my supplication;God will receive my prayer.10 All mine enemies shall be put to shame and sore troubled:They shall turn back, they shall be put to shame suddenly.

Lord, who am I talking to?

I beg you

Do not rebuke me in your anger

I am the one rebuking me

I tell you my bones are in agony

You or someone else not you

Tells me to see the

Orthopedic surgeon

Or maybe a neurologist

Like a wife abused

Beaten, raped, reviled

I have given up waiting on your name

Knowing it’s only a matter of time

Before I too

Am delivered to the flames

My ashes scattered to the winds

Have you given birth to my soul

To let me drown in the dark of the world?

Have you encouraged multiple creeds

So believers can kill and maim

In your name

And drag me into madness

Imprinting on my newborn soul

Tribe as Higher Power?

My analyst takes notes

For the revelation

That I am acting out

With anger

And resentment

And fury

For being alive

Apparently

I no longer wait on a Messiah

Only for the Garden of Eden to return

At least in my imagination

Dancing girls

With incredible legs

And breasts that bounce

To intoxicate me

And mesmerize me

And love me

More than you

Or do I want to be worshipped too?