Читать книгу Demeter’s Dream - Tony Thistlewood - Страница 7

...Thou shalt not commit adultery...whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Matthew 5:27-28

Priapus is one of the most revolting specimens that you could possibly imagine. He is a wizened gnome of a creature – I find it distasteful to call him a god, however minor. His appearance makes me want to look elsewhere, anywhere, other than at him. He has swarthy skin, a full dark beard under a hooked nose, while the hair on his head spikes up like a series of uneven, multi-colored corkscrews.

And yet here he was lounging brazenly in front of me, Zeus, god of gods. Priapus’s toga, for want of a better name, was so loosely draped around his puny body that his enormous and permanently erect penis, for which he was infamous, was inadequately concealed. There is a similar condition in the mortal world called “Priapism” named after him. I shuddered in disgust at the very sight of this so-called god. And I was even more nauseated by the thought that my daughter wanted to be anywhere near this creature. I was so disappointed in her.

Demeter rushed to me as soon as I and KK arrived at Priapus’s apartment – I wondered who had given him permission to use it. I held her tightly in my arms. The smell of her hair, the feel of her body pressed against mine, momentarily drove thoughts of the disreputable gnome from my head.

Then across the room, I saw Persephone lying seductively on a Turkish divan. She is every bit as beautiful and alluring as her mother, and I love her every bit as much.

Perse must have realized, from my expression I assumed, the disappointment that I felt at her choice of companion.

‘What?’ she said, holding her arms wide like a teenager trying to play the innocent.

‘What have you been doing?’ I asked.

‘Nothing! Just talking,’ she replied sulkily.

I so wanted to believe her.

I tapped KK on his muzzle. He trotted over to Persephone who patted him on his head. He sniffed, returned to me, gave a little grunt, and again settled at my feet. His grunt told me that he had sniffed the truth or, at least, had not sniffed a lie.

‘So, you don't trust me,’ Perse said petulantly.

‘It's not you that I don't trust,’ I replied, glaring a Priapus.

‘Well, if it's not her, then it must be me,’ Priapus said in a surprisingly deep voice. ‘I suppose I should be mortified, but, alas, I am not. Many are saying that the great Zeus has been away in the mortal world for far too long, and I'm afraid I have to agree.’

‘What are you doing here, Priapus?’ I asked, ignoring the snide remark while trying to remain calm. ‘You were banished from Olympus long ago, and made impotent at that time, too, I believe.’

I thought the last barb would get to him, but I was not prepared for his reply.

‘Indeed, I was, and by the goddess Hera, no less. You will remember her, of course? Yes, naturally you do. However – and you will not like this – she has pardoned me and invited me to return to Olympus. Of course, you have been away in the mortal world so long that you wouldn't have heard about that, would you?’

‘Hera invited you to return?’ Demeter asked, clearly amazed. ‘She would not do that lightly. What were her terms?’

‘Well, now, that is for me to know, and you to find out,’ he replied, openly leering at Demeter as if he intended her to be his next conquest. The wretched little gnome made my blood boil. I fought hard to control the anger seething up within me. I could turn him into ashes in an instant, and he knew it. Yet I knew that Demeter didn't like me doing that kind of stuff anymore. It offended the mortals' God apparently.

With trepidation, I wondered just what sordid reasoning was underpinning Priapus's uncharacteristic bravery. If it was anything to do with Persephone...I let that thought simmer; I dared not complete it.

Priapus licked his lips and reached for a golden goblet on the table next to him. I pointed the index finger of my right hand at the goblet. A small lightning bolt flashed across the room from my fingertip to the goblet, melting the vessel in a splutter of molten metal and hissing wine before he could even lay his swarthy hand upon it.

‘Cool!’ Persephone yelled in delight.

‘There is no need for that sort of thing, darling,’ Demeter whispered in my ear. I nodded grudgingly. Nevertheless, I have to admit that the terrified expression on the gnome's face gave me a momentary shameful buzz. And it also gave him a sharp reminder of exactly with whom he was dealing.

‘I’ll ask you again,’ Demeter said quietly to Priapus, and yet there was an unmistakable threat in her voice. ‘What were her terms?’

‘I’m not at liberty to tell you,’ Priapus replied, yet he was noticeably nervous now.

I tapped KK's head and pointed to Priapus. The dog bared his teeth, snarled viciously, and then stealthily, threateningly, crawled towards the now groveling gnome. Even I must admit that KK was a terrifying sight, and Priapus knew that the dog could rip him to shreds in a matter of seconds. He had seen it happen before, many years ago.

‘No! No!’ he screamed. ‘Call him off; call him off. I'll tell you what she said. I promise.’

I clicked my fingers, and KK obediently calmed and returned to my side.

‘Well, what does the goddess Hera want you to do?’ Demeter demanded. She no longer had her arms wrapped around me but was standing with her hands on her hips and glaring aggressively at the petrified and useless former minor god of fertility.

‘She...she wants me to impregnate Persephone to teach you a lesson,’ Priapus stammered.

‘She what!’ Persephone screamed. ‘Why you two-faced, disgusting little pervert. I...’

Demeter rushed over to her. ‘It’s all right, darling, he can't do anything to you now...’

‘Unless he already has?’ I asked.

‘No, of course he hasn't. What do you think I am?’ Perse snapped back at me. I was so relieved to hear that, and yet something didn't ring true. I did not trust a word the gnome said.

‘I think you are lying to us, Priapus,’ I said angrily.

‘No, no, it's the truth, honestly,’ he whimpered.

‘Oh, I don't think so. When Hera originally banished you from Olympus, she made you impotent, as I just said. That being so, how were you going to impregnate my daughter?’

‘That...that was part of the deal. Hera would remove the curse only for me to screw Persephone as a punishment for you marrying Demeter. If I did that, Hera promised to remove her curse permanently and let me stay on the mountain. Now, thanks to you, I am finished here. You have ruined me and my life. Now I have no option but to become mortal and join you in the mortal world. I must...’

‘What!’ Demeter shouted. ‘What possible use would a disgusting imbecile like you be in the mortal world? You would be an insult to the mortals’ God.’

‘But Persephone said that I would be a natural for some place in California...what was it called?’ he asked, turning pleadingly to Perse.

‘Hollywood,’ Persephone replied, without looking at him.

‘That’s right, Hollywood. She said I could become a film producer and audition all the beautiful young women who wanted to become film stars. I’d be so good at that. And I’m well known in the mortal world already. There are statues of me all over the place...’

‘Statues of you?’ Demeter asked, not convinced. ‘I can’t recall seeing any.’

‘But they are in gardens everywhere...’

‘I think he means garden gnomes,’ Persephone said and started giggling.

‘Priapus, listen to me very carefully,’ Demeter said coldly. ‘The mortal world is on the verge of self-destruction morally, socially and physically. It is imperative that we make the United States the moral and spiritual leader of the mortal world with subservience only to the mortals’ God. No other country can do that. That is our principal goal, although we have many others. To achieve that goal, we must eliminate people with your attitudes and despicable morals because they are undermining the very moral fabric of mortal society. You, and others like you, serve no useful purpose in the mortal world. There is no place for you there.’

‘But...but you can’t do this to me...you can’t leave me here. Hera said that she will banish me to crawl on the bottom of the oceans for eternity, if I fail...’ Priapus wailed.

‘You have failed,’ I snapped. ‘I hope you can swim. Anyway, I doubt Poseidon will want you in his domain.’

‘Oh, he has already said that he will support Hera...’

‘What!’ Demeter gasped, clearly stunned by the news. ‘You mean Poseidon is here?’

‘Yeah...Oh! Didn't you know? Hasn't he been to see you? Well, I wonder what that can mean?’ Priapus sneered.

Demeter angrily turned to face me. ‘Do you know that Posey is here?’ she demanded.

‘Of course, I know. Posey is a major part of our grand plan.’

I didn't like lying to Demeter and rarely needed to, but I didn't want this vulgar little creature thinking that he had caused a rift between me and Demeter. ‘Sorry, darling, I thought I had told you. It must have slipped my mind.’

‘You think you are so high and mighty,’ Priapus fumed. ‘Zeus, the god of gods; Zeus, the mortal man; Zeus, the savior of the mortal world. Oh, but there are many on Olympus who want to see you fall; who want to see the back of you for good. Hera to start with, yet she is not alone. And now you can’t even be sure of your own brother, Poseidon, can you? Where will it all end?’

‘Priapus, I think it is time you booked a passage with Charon,’ I said none too gently. To my surprise, he began laughing hysterically. I could not imagine why my cruel reference to the Ferryman of Hades, who takes souls across the River Styx, should cause such a reaction.

‘And whose side do you suppose Charon is on since he turned mortal?’ Priapus replied, tears now streaming down his face. ‘You are so innocent, so out of touch, it is laughable.’